


(Falling in Love) Surrounded by Sunshine and Grass

by ffgirl21



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Christmas is hard, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Gideon (DC's Legends of Tomorrow) Ships It, I am not nice to constantine, Past Nyssa al Ghul/Sara Lance, Rugby, Slow Burn, What have I done to Quentin Lance, minor alcoholism, past Sara Lance / Alex Danvers, unsupportive parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:20:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 105,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23639746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ffgirl21/pseuds/ffgirl21
Summary: Sara is the captain of her college rugby team. Ava is the new transfer with no interest in team bonding. Needless to say, Sara and Ava butt heads over a couple things on and off the field.Or, the college rugby au
Relationships: Charlie/Zari Tomaz | Zari Tarazi, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Comments: 175
Kudos: 499





	1. Sometimes introductions are hard

**Author's Note:**

> ****Sorry about the stupid long note below, but a lot of it is important to the story so please read!!
> 
> Y’alllllll. I love Avalance and I love rugby so I cannot think of anything better than this au. ALSO if you love rugby, the USWNT, Ashlyn & Ali, or just simply love a good fic about bad ass woman doing great things and being in love with each other check out Ruck Me by Inked11, another rugby college au. It’s a kick ass story!
> 
> I didn’t go to CU Boulder but that’s where I’m making the story take place because I live in Colorado now and it’s a huge rugby hub. But also, that definitely doesn’t mean everything in the story will be 100% accurate to CU, so stick with me. 
> 
> There’s a ton of rugby terminology thrown in throughout the story, but don’t be intimated by that! I’ll try and explain things when necessary at the beginning of the chapters but most of them are pretty google-able. Also, I am more than happy to chat with anyone that wants to learn about the sport! I swear it’s not a violent game despite the reputation it has, but concussions and injuries will be a part of the story line here. I love this game and don’t want to give anyone a negative opinion of it or paint it in a bad light but these are just things that come with the territory of a sport! 
> 
> For the rugby slang in this first chapter, you need to know that a flyhalf is kind of like the quarter back of the team and they work hand in hand with the scrum-half. The scrum half’s main role is passing and they make a lot of on field calls. The players on a rugby team are also split into two parts, the backline and the forwards. The backline are usually faster and do a lot of the passing while the forwards do the scrumming and are usually a bit bigger. 
> 
> Thank you to my beta theprassebox !! 
> 
> I obviously do not own LoT or any of these characters.

The rugby pitch was Sara Lance’s favorite place in the entire world. She’d come a bit early to campus this semester, like she did last summer too, just to spend a few days out here on her own. The campus was quiet without all of the students running around, but the pitch was peaceful. No coaches yelling or teammates running around. It was just Sara, the ball, and the field.

After being nominated captain at the end of last year, Sara felt like she needed to work a little bit harder than her other teammates and earn the ‘C’ on her jersey. Spending extra time didn’t feel like a chore for Sara, but being captain wasn’t a job she took lightly. Nothing meant more to her than standing on that field and representing her teammates. Every extra minute spent practicing made her feel like she deserved it.

After a long summer of living at home with her dad and sister, she reveled in the calming presence of a rugby field more than ever. The rest of the team would be arriving tomorrow and the peacefulness of the empty field would be gone, replaced by expectations and pressure to create a winning team.

But for one more day, it’s all mine, she thought as she walked up to the sideline of the field and plopped down to put on her cleats, before jogging out for her quick warm-up.

She had all the time in the world today so she worked slowly and diligently through each aspect of her summer training. Long distance running, short sprint work, a bit of training with the tackling dummies, some passes into a net, and then light kicking to round it out. When her legs started giving out Sara collapsed at midfield. Her eyes slowly shut as she laid there and her thoughts drifted back to everything that this year was going to bring her.

In just over a month junior year would be starting.

Admittedly, there were a lot of things that she wasn’t exactly looking forward to about this year. Like finally having to take the required English class that she had been pushing off. And it was time, according to the school at least, for Sara to declare a major. Book smarts were just never her forte, and she couldn’t understand why she couldn’t major in rugby and be done with it.

But that wasn’t how things worked, as her sister and advisor had told her so many times before. So, unless The Sirens could make it to nationals this year and pique the interests of the U.S. National Team coaches, rugby had to remain a backup plan.

Not wanting to taint her safe place with thoughts of school and other worries, she tried to push those stresses away to use her time alone to think about all the good things that this year meant for her and her friends. Like, finally turning twenty-one. It was also the year that Sara and a couple of her best friends, Charlie and Amaya, got to move into the infamous women’s rugby house, known as “Chop Shop;” a house known all across the University of Colorado Boulder’s campus for their parties. While the men’s side could definitely hold their own with parties, nothing could quite match the utter chaos that the women caused.

You see, with rugby came a whole new culture including singing (read: screaming) rugby songs, stomping on tables, and lots of drinking games. In Sara’s opinion, if you’ve never been to a women’s rugby party at CU, there’s a whole lot you’re missing out on. There was just something about seeing a woman screaming at the top of her lungs and stomping her boot through a table in the name of rugby tradition that got everyone ready to party. There was truly no telling what was to come this year with Sara, Charlie, and Amaya running Chop Shop.

Switching her thoughts to an even better daydream, Sara thought about her aspirations for her on-field time this year. The Sirens were always good, and with a coach like Gideon, she didn’t think it was possible for them to ever have a bad year. But she wanted more. More than good. More than great really. Sara wanted a record-breaking season that would get her noticed by the U.S. National Team scouts in time for the 2020 Olympic training camps to start.

It sounds like a kid’s dream, and it had been Sara’s life goal since she was 15, but she felt like the Sirens had the talent to go far this year. With hard work, she knew that her pipe dream could become a reality.

Being selected captain as a junior is rare, especially over senior talents like Alex Danvers and Diana Prince, and Sara didn’t want to squander the honor or make it seem like she didn’t appreciate her team selecting her. So, she vowed to be the first man on the field and the last one off, every day. Not that she wasn’t already doing that, but now the pressure was on and Sara got nervous about being able to rise to the challenge more than once since the elections back in May. Every time she did she would just call up Zari, or Charlie when she really needed some tough love, and they would snap her out of it.

Sara had the world’s best support system, but sometimes she felt like the weight of the entire team’s future was resting on her shoulders. She did her best to shake it off, but being captain meant she had to accept the pressure and use it to push herself harder rather than let it ruin her.

Sara was lost in her own musings, with her eyes closed laying in the middle of the field with music blasting in her ears from training so she was oblivious when another person walked up to the field and laced up their boots.

“Dude.” The newcomer at the fields said tapping Sara in the leg with her cleat.

Sara’s eyes snapped open, squinting in part to adjust to the bright Colorado sun and in part due to confusion at the presence of another person. “Dude?”

The new girl sighed like somehow it was Sara’s fault that she didn’t know her or understand why she was there. “Yeah, dude. I called out to you like 15 times. You’re laying in the middle of the field and I kind of need to use it.”

Well, now Sara was just baffled because she knew every rugby player at this school and she could not place the face standing over her. The girl was tall, and not just because Sara was looking at her from her viewpoint on the ground, but the type of tall that screamed athlete. She had long blond hair that was pulled up into an almost overly neat bun, sharp features, and bright blue eyes that were glaring at Sara.

She was definitely not a freshman, but Sara felt like she would’ve remembered seeing the athletic build and striking features around campus. Even from the horrible angle on the ground, Sara was intrigued by this woman.

A few too many seconds passed while Sara was busy admiring the woman, and she finally picked her body up off the ground. Laying in silence wasn’t going to help the glare she was receiving. “Oh, right, sorry. I didn’t think anyone else would be out here. Most of my team doesn’t arrive until tomorrow.”

The new girl’s eyebrow raised. “You’re on the team here?”

“Captain Sara Lance at your service.” Sara bowed for dramatics with a raised eyebrow and her signature confident smirk in place.

The new girl seemed unaffected by it, which was not the response that Sara was used to getting. “Right Gideon mentioned you a few weeks back. I’m Ava Sharpe, your new fly-half. ”

Sara frowned. Gideon had never mentioned a transfer student coming in, but technically Gideon didn’t have to tell Sara everything. It just would’ve been nice to know before the first day of practice so she could reach out and welcome her to the team. Sara also noted the girl’s confidence in introducing herself as though her spot was already secure, but she figured that Gideon wouldn’t have promised this girl anything she didn’t think she deserved.

“Well welcome to beautiful Boulder, the Sirens are happy to have you.” Sara didn’t want to press her luck with the girl any more today. “I’ve had my share of training today so I’ll get out of your hair. I’ll see you at practice tomorrow with the rest of the team. Look out for an email from me tonight with more on that.” Sensing that Ava didn’t seem all too amused by Sara, she quickly grabbed her belongings and excused herself from the fields.

Watching Sara walk away from the fields, Ava let out a sigh and took in her surroundings. She was glad to have the pitch to herself for a while. Even being in a new place, the field always brought her comfort. Plus, she needed to get in an hour or two of skills training in so she was at the top of her game for the first practice tomorrow. She didn’t expect her new captain to be waiting at the field and she was definitely regretting being a little bit rude to her at first.

If Ava was being honest, her nerves about being in a new place and on a new team were getting to her a bit and she usually would’ve been way nicer than she was just now. But her time on East Stroudsburg’s team didn’t end well and it was only natural that Ava was nervous that word of what happened at ESU might have traveled with her to her new team and that things would be ruined before they even started.

So far, the University of Boulder campus was beautiful and everything Ava hoped for in her fresh start. Her parents had dropped her off yesterday afternoon and had left quickly to return to their busy lives, leaving Ava to get to know her new home. Although, she couldn’t move into her house until tomorrow because her roommate didn’t have a chance to get her a key before she got here, so she was getting to know her new home from a hotel room.

She spent the night wandering through the campus and taking in the endless series of big, beige buildings with orange tops. The backdrop of the Flatirons made everything seem so much more beautiful than Ava ever could have imagined.

She was looking forward to her fresh start, and she wasn’t complaining about the beauty of Colorado. The state offered so many potential adventures for her and she was anxious to get started tomorrow.

Shaking off her thoughts of Sara, and any potential regrets that Ava wasn’t willing to acknowledge from their first meeting, She focused in and began her own training session at the fields that would soon become her new rugby home.

___________________________________________

It wasn’t long after Sara returned to Chop Shop that Charlie and Amaya barged in.

In typical Charlie fashion, she skipped right over any pleasantries and went right to yelling at Sara for help. “Oi, Lance! Get off your arse and give us a hand would ya!”

Amaya just rolled her eyes at her twin sister and met Sara for a hello-hug. “You’d think with her spending all those years at an English boarding school she’d have better manners than me.” Amaya’s soft-spoken voice and mature tone couldn’t have been more different than her sisters.

“Can’t say I spent a lot of time prepping for proper tea-time behavior. Too busy in the locker room working on some other skills.” Charlie wagged her eyes and slapped Sara on the arm expecting her to get in on the joke with her. Sara couldn’t help but crack a smile at her friends. It was good to be back together.

Charlie was sporting leather pants with high top boots, a red flannel wrapped around her waist, and a cut off band tee that Sara didn’t recognize the name of. And of course, her look was topped off with her classic curly mohawk. She tells everyone she keeps it ‘cause “the birds can’t get enough of it,” but really Sara thinks she just wants something that screams “I’m not Amaya.” There were a hundred ways to tell them apart, but Sara couldn’t fault the girl for wanting some individuality. Plus, it was badass as hell.

“Does she have an off button?” Sara asked Amaya, returning her hug.

“Not that I’ve found. But I’m still holding out hope.” Amaya had a bright smile on her face with her hair long and curly. Sara definitely preferred it when Amaya wore her hair naturally, but it was fun to see when she switched it up between curly and straight. She had a leather jacket on and some high waisted jeans. The commonalities between the Jiwe twins started and ended with their preference for wearing leather, and of course, rugby.

Charlie rolled her eyes. “Very funny. Now, are you gonna give us a hand or what? Amaya here has been pestering me the whole drive about getting the unpacking done because she’s got big plans with the boyfriend.”

Sara begrudgingly followed the twins out to their car and grabbed a suitcase. “I didn’t even know Nate was back yet. Is Zari coming over too, Charlie?”

“How would I know, she’s your best friend mate.”

Sara set the suitcase down in Charlie’s room. “Oh please, I’m sure you and Zari haven’t gone more than an hour without talking since we left campus in May.”

Charlie just grunted and grabbed another suitcase from the back seat of her car. “She’s not supposed to get in until late. Told her I’d see her at practice tomorrow.”

Zari moved into Sara’s neighborhood the summer before the 6th-grade year started. She was new to the school and had been placed a year up in the school system by her latest foster parents so she was a little nervous. Sara took her under her wing and the two had been inseparable ever since. When high school came around the girls tried out for the school’s rugby team together and immediately fell in love with the sport. The third member of their friend group was Nate Haywood. He grew up a few streets over and they all ended up on the same bus route. Now Nate also went to CU and played for the men’s rugby team.

Zari ended up in a freshman seminar class with Amaya and the two clicked instantly. Zari was the one who talked Amaya and Charlie into trying out for the team and a few weeks into their first year. Zari introduced Nate and Amaya at a pregame they threw before a rugby party. The two had been dating ever since, and the five of them were as close as ever.

Sara always had a sneaking suspicion that Zari and Charlie were a little bit more than friends, but neither had ever said anything about it and she didn’t have any proof of it so she chalked it up to unresolved sexual tension. Eventually, it would have to be resolved and Sara was just waiting for one of her friends to open up about it. For now, though, Sara just let it be.

The three finished unloading the car and Charlie and Amaya went into their rooms to organize. Sara returned to her own room and grabbed her rugby notebook to jot down some plays that she wanted to work into practice tomorrow and write down her goals for the season. Gideon took care of most of the drills they ran but she usually let Sara have one or two. Plus, the backline plays were usually her call. Well technically, she and the fly-half were supposed to work together to create plays and run the backline portion of practice, but after meeting her new fly-half today Sara wasn’t sure how well that was going to work.

Ava had crossed Sara’s mind a lot since meeting her at the fields today. Who was she and why didn’t Gideon tell Sara about her transfer? Was she any good? Judging by her muscular legs Sara assumed she could at least hold her own on the field, but tomorrow would be a good tell of her skill level. It seemed like Gideon already told her that she would be the starting fly-half so if Gideon thought she could handle it then who was she to question that. Even if she was good, the girl had a real attitude today that Sara didn’t love. She would give her the benefit of the doubt for now but who knows what tomorrow would have in store.

Computer open and notebook tossed to the side, Sara slowly drifted off thinking of Ava and rugby.  
___________________________________________

Ava’s alarm went off at 6:55 am, but she had already been up for a half-hour thanks to the first day of pre-season jitters. Ava made herself two eggs and a bowl of oatmeal loading up before what she was sure would be a grueling day of practice. She also made sure to, for the last few days and this morning, drink a lot of water. She didn’t want the adjustment to the altitude or the effect it was bound to have on her body to slow her down at practice.

At 7:30, a full hour before practice, Ava made her way over to the practice fields. To her surprise, she wasn’t the first one there. Gideon, Sara, and three girls that Ava didn’t recognize were gathered around a pile of equipment lacing up their cleats and getting ready.

“Ah, Ava Sharpe. It’s great to meet you in person.” Gideon said meeting Ava before she could fully reach the field and shaking her hand.

Ava was surprised by the English accent that came from the woman. “Nice to meet you too, coach. I’m excited to get started today.”

“Sara told me you guys met yesterday but let me introduce you formally to a few of our other key players before the rest of the girls get here.” Gideon walked her over to the girls who were now just passing a ball between them. “Girls this is Ava Sharpe. She’s a junior and a transfer from East Stroudsburg. She’ll be stepping into the shoes of fly-half this season. Make her feel welcome, please.” Ava waived awkwardly at the three people standing in front of her.

Amaya was the first one to step up and introduce herself. “Welcome to CU! I’m Amaya Jiwe. Junior and a wing. We’re happy to have you on the team!”

Zari smiled kindly at Ava. “Zari, junior, lock and assistant captain, or ass-cap if you’re a jerk like these guys are. Welcome to CU.”

Charlie put on a flirty smirk and walked up to shake Ava’s hand. “And I’m Charlie. Junior, also a wing. And proper happy to show you around campus later if you’d like an experienced tour guide.”

Right as Charlie finished talking, Nora walked up behind Ava and put a friendly hand on her shoulder. “Ugh Jiwe number two, Sharpe has been here for less than a day please don’t scare her off with your nonsense.”

Ava turned around and smiled at Nora, wildly confusing the other girls standing there. “Nora Dahrk. Always swooping in to save me.” Ava scooped the smaller girl into a big hug.

Meanwhile, Charlie turned to Amaya and whispered: “Why am I Jiwe number two?” Amaya ignored her, as usual.

Sara turned to Nora and Ava with furrowed brows. “Guess you guys already know each other?”

Nora released Ava from the hug and turned to Sara. “Oh yeah, our families go way back. Daddy Darhkest has been selling weapons to Papa Sharpe since before we were born. Nothing bonds two people like hatred for mutual mass destruction, I guess.” Nora shrugged, as if talk of weapon sales and mass destruction were normal.

Despite the explanation, Sara, Charlie, and Amaya did not look any less confused. The girls had the eyebrows scrunched, eyes moving between Ava and Nora waiting for more explanation from one of them. Ava thought the vagueness was hilarious, but she gave in and clarified. “Her dad is a military contractor and my dad is his military contact.”

“Glad you have a friendly face on the team then.” Gideon chimed in and then spoke pointedly to Sara. “Sara, once everyone is here, do a brief round of introductions, send the freshmen that are newer to the sport or you think could use some one-on-one work my way, and then take everyone else on the usual preseason run.”

“Got it, Coach.” Sara said with a two-fingered salute. The team hadn’t all quite trickled in yet so Sara turned back to Charlie.

“Listen, Charlie, no flirting with the newbies – transfers or freshmen. And while we’re at it, let’s just lay out a no dating rule for everyone on the team. I’d prefer not to relive what happened last year.” The girls were quiet in response, which was unusual for the group. It was clear nobody wanted to get into that on the first day of practice. A look of understanding passes between the three returners. Ava doesn’t know what to think, but she gathers from the silence that whatever happened last year wasn’t great and isn’t something she should ask about right now. She makes a mental note to ask Nora about it later.

Sara walks off to continue getting ready for practice and greets the players as they trickle in. Her rule was final and she didn’t need to get anyone’s approval on it.

When it seemed like everyone was officially there and ready to get started, Sara called them to attention. “Okay, ladies! Welcome to Sirens pre-season! We’ve got a great eight weeks lined up for you guys full of cardio, skills and plenty of team bonding. For now, assuming everyone here has signed the appropriate paperwork, we’re going to break up into two groups. If you’re new to the sport or aren’t totally comfortable with contact today then you’re going to head over to Coach Gideon, our fearless leader, and run through basics with her. If you’re a returning player, or you’re new but feel like you can handle contact, and you’ve brought a mouthguard with you, then come with me.” 

The players scattered accordingly, and with that, preseason was underway.


	2. Rucking your neighbor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rugby lingo: rucking / rucking pad
> 
> I tried to include a good definition in the actual story for some help here but essentially all you need to know is that there is a lot of contact involved. And the rucking pad is just a giant foam pad that someone holds to mimic rucking against another person. 
> 
> Happy reading! & thanks again to my beta theprassebox!
> 
> I still, sadly, don't own LoT (but I am truly THRILLED it's back on this week)

Practice had been going for about an hour and things were going well. It was clear to Sara that the majority of the team had kept up with their conditioning and skills over the summer, which made her feel good about everyone’s level of commitment. They were doing some quick drills with passing and light tackling to ease everyone back into things.

Ava had been mostly quiet, which was an improvement from the attitude that she greeted Sara with yesterday. She was still trying to get a feel for the girl and what type of vibes she was going to bring to the team.

One thing was for sure, the girl could  _ play _ some rugby. Her passing was better than a lot of the veteran players on the team, which made sense as her position mostly revolved around passing. Ava’s cardio was also top-notch and she was able to pace with Sara during their entire 5k that Gideon insists they start preseason practices with. Overall, she seemed like she was just here to play and Sara could respect that if nothing else.

Sara ran through another drill explaining the simple progression she was expecting. “Nothing too complex ladies. Groups of three. The first person receives the ball and goes down when the defensive player puts two hands on them. The two support players then step over the player on the ground to form a ruck and protect the ball. Let’s see quick feet and good communication!”

Eventually, Sara switched from passing to hold a rucking pad and let a rookie scrum-half get some throws in.

Most girls hit the rucking pad with a lot of force but knew not to go all out because the person behind the pad was in a more vulnerable position and not ready to take that much of an impact. Sara is guessing that wasn’t a lesson they learned at East Stroudsburg because when Ava’s group went, Ava received the ball and came full force into Sara causing her to trip backwards.

Ava came over and offered Sara a hand up while mumbling something that sounded to Sara like “Guess they must be softer out here.”

Sara shook it off, assuming that she heard Ava wrong. She took her hand and popped back up with a forced smile on her face. “No worries, guess I just lost my footing there.”

After a hit like that, whether it was part of the drill or not, Sara needed to let off some steam. So, she wrapped up the drill they were doing to move into one that involved more contact. It was time to ramp it up and see who came ready to play.

“One more drill; then we’ll break for water.” Sara yelled out, getting the group to circle up, on her, for an explanation. “This one is just a quick tackling drill. One person in the middle with a tennis ball in each hand. Three girls on each of the cones surrounding the girl in the middle, each with their own ball. One at a time, someone from the outside will charge at whoever is in the center of the grid and try to evade a tackle. The person in the middle will have to tackle each player once, without dropping either of the tennis balls. When each person in your grid has had a chance in the middle, you can grab some water. Don’t make it easy on each other, but let’s try to not be here all day.”

Sara ended up in a group with one rookie, Zari, and Ava. Zari jumped into the middle first, wanting to get it over with sooner rather than later. Zari was quick on her feet, but usually struggled not using her arms in tackles so the tennis balls were proving to be an obstacle for her. The rookie, Kim, went down fairly easily, while Sara went down after two attempts. Ava was bigger than both the girls and knew how to hold her feet when she was getting tackled. Sara was impressed that it took Zari four attempts to tackle her.

Next up Sara was in the middle.  _ Time to let some of this frustration go _ she thought. She took it easier on the rookie, not wanting to take the girl down too hard when she was still getting used to this level of play. After seven years of playing together, Sara knew all of Zari’s tricks so she took her down easily in one try.

Last up was Ava. Sara knew if she didn’t get Ava down in one try the girl’s ego would be boosted to an annoying level. She really didn’t want to give her any more of a reason to have an attitude.

Ava came up off her cone in a strong body position and quickly tried to step left on Sara. But Sara saw it coming and stepped close to her, wrapping her arms around her upper thighs, face flat against her hip in perfect form and brought the girl right to the ground.

_ Yes! _ Sara thought, proud of herself for a great tackle on a skilled player. Ava looked pissed, glaring at Sara a bit from the ground, but she was willing to accept defeat. It was a good tackle, sometimes there’s nothing you can do about it. Sara offered the girl a hand up off the ground and tried to reign in the smirk she wanted to plaster on her face.

Ava went next. Much to Zari and Sara’s annoyance, she took down both of them with ease and great form. But Sara also knew that she hit the girls a little bit too hard for a first practice. She didn’t want to encourage half-speed movements because it was always safer to go all out, but without the adrenaline of a game, having a bony shoulder shoved into your pelvic area did not feel awesome.

Kim looked tough and Sara knew that this wasn’t her first time being tackled, but she was still nervous for the girl. Coming from a small high school team did not compare to the level of rugby that the Siren’s played or the force that Ava brought in her tackle.

When Kim came off her cone at Ava, the girl didn’t really stand a chance. Ava hit her hard and brought her down with more force than necessary for the small girl. Kim laid there for a second too long, and Sara decided that she had hit her breaking point with Ava.

“What is your problem? It’s the first day of practice and you just laid out a rookie like she was an Olympian.” Sara said walking up to Ava and getting in her face.

Ava definitely wasn’t one to stand down. “Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that everyone in Boulder needed to be coddled.”

Sara got a step closer. “It’s not coddling! If you hit everyone like they weigh 300lbs and are coming at you with full speed someone is going to get hurt. I will not risk the safety of my players because someone has an ego and doesn’t know how to turn down the force of their tackle.”

“I have an ego? Are you kidding me? I hit her with exactly the same force that I hit you!” Ava was basically screaming into the top of Sara’s head at this point, using the obvious height difference to her advantage.

“And I thought that was still too hard! I don’t know what you’re trying to prove but –”

Gideon stormed over after hearing the screaming from the two. “Enough! Sara, Ava, get some water.”

The two continued to glare at each other, face to face and breathing heavily, but obeyed Gideon’s command and walked to the sidelines to grab their waters. Gideon followed shortly after with the rest of the team.

“Alright ladies, you all worked hard today so I’m going to end practice here and give you a little time to go back to your dorms and pack up.” All the vets groaned. “That’s right, we’re moving over to Wave Hall for the remainder of pre-season, just like we do every year. I know everyone just loves forced bonding. Your rooming assignments are on this sheet.”

Sara had calmed herself down by now and was ready to speak to the team again like a captain. She took the clipboard from Gideon and addressed the group before everyone started chatting and scattered. “Also! After you’ve all showered and moved in, we’re going to order some pizzas and hang in the common room on the 3 rd floor around 6pm. Mandatory team bonding, don’t make me come find you! With that being said, I know where you all live now.” That got a chuckle from most of the team. “Charlie you’re with me, Zari with Diana, Amaya you’re with Alex, Nora you’re with Ava, Helena with Kara.” Sara continued listing off the rooming assignments for the rest of the team. Everyone seemed happy with their roommates. Not that it mattered because Gideon made them, and she had never been willing to change her mind in the past.

The team cleaned up their equipment and individual belongings, then headed back to their respective houses or dorms to shower and pack. Zari tagged along with the Chop Shop crew, hoping to hang out and have some lunch with her friends.

Sara stepped out of her car with Amaya, Charlie, and Zari in tow just in time to see Nora and Ava pull into the driveway adjacent to Chop Shop’s.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Sara whispered to herself.

“Hey, neighbor!” Nora said hopping out of her car. “Guess the five of us will be seeing a lot of each other this year.”

Sara smiled at Nora, ignoring Ava, and went inside.

Nora closed her car door and turned back to Ava who was already halfway to the house. When the two were inside, Nora turned to Ava. “What’s the deal with you and Lance?”

“What’s the deal with you and calling people exclusively by their last name?”

“Five points for good deflection.” Nora responded but didn’t budge from her spot blocking Ava from running up the stairs.

Ava groaned. “I don’t know what the deal is. I ran into her yesterday at the fields and I was nervous about preseason and you know how I get when I’m nervous.”

“So you were accidentally rude?”

“Maybe.”

Nora looked unimpressed at the half answer, but let it go. “And today at practice?”

“I may have been overcompensating by being a tad more aggressive than I needed to be and took it out on a rookie. I was just really nervous about practicing with a new team after how everything went down at my last school and Sara kept looking at me like she was evaluating my abilities and ugh I don’t know.” Ava at least had the decency to look embarrassed. She sighed and collected herself for a second before continuing to rant. “I don’t know what it is about her, but she rubs me the wrong way. And now I’ve been an ass to her twice so I think I’ve gone and fucked up any chance of us being nice to each other. So much for a clean start.” Ava pushed past Nora and went upstairs to her room, clearly over the conversation.

Nora felt for her old friend, so she let her go. It was hard to be new and after everything she went through at ESU, it was only natural that she came into this season with a chip on her shoulder and something to prove. Hopefully, a nice shower and some lunch would make her feel better.

Over at Chop Shop, the conversation wasn’t going much differently.

The first thing Zari did when they walked in the door was to start questioning Sara. “Dude, what is up with you and Sharpe?”

“What do you mean?” Sara just wanted to shower and lay in bed, she did not want to think about Ava Sharpe any more than she already had today.

“Don’t play dumb with us cap, we all saw you bite her head off.”

Amaya chimed in too, although a bit softer than Zari. “Yeah Sara, I’m not sure what happened, but it really didn’t look great for a first impression on the rookies.”

Sara knew she wasn’t going to get away without giving her friends some type of explanation. “It’s no big deal guys. It was the first practice and tensions were high. I just didn’t want a rookie or anyone else getting hurt. Plus, she was an ass to me yesterday too and we’ve just gotten off on the wrong foot. I can put on a captain's face and keep the peace with her going forward.”

“Yesterday?” Zari asked.

“Yeah I was down at the fields just getting in a little bit of skills practice and she came up and kind of kicked me off the field. I was done using it but it was still rude for no reason. It’s fine though. I don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable on the team, this is supposed to be a happy place for people. Tonight, I’ll pull her aside and apologize and tomorrow everything will be fine.” Sara sped up the stairs before anyone else could jump in. She didn’t really have any intention of apologizing, but now that she’s said it out loud to her friends she didn’t have much of a choice.

She could hear her friends talking after she went upstairs but it sounded like they moved on to other topics. Catching up about summer internships, Charlie filling them in on whatever crazy antics she claims she got up to, and Zari cracking sarcastic jokes whenever they fit. It felt good to be back in this place with these people. Thinking about her friends helped some of Sara’s tension from practice start to fade away.

She hopped in the shower and then climbed into bed for a quick nap before lunch.

\-----------------------------

By the time Sara woke up, lunchtime had come and gone. The first day of practice must have worn her out more than she anticipated.

She headed down to the kitchen to find an extra bowl from Chipotle that her  _ amazing  _ friends must have left for her. She quickly scarfed it down and went back upstairs to pack some clothes and her belongings for the next few weeks. None of her roommates seemed to be home, so Sara hopped in her car and headed for the dorms hoping for first dips on a bed.

Wave Hall was a freshman dorm that Gideon insisted they stay in every year during preseasons. Sara hated the tradition because it meant leaving the comfort of her own room and going back to the uncomfortableness of sharing a room with someone else. Luckily for Sara, she had a bit of seniority and Gideon paired her with someone she actually likes this time. Plus, the rooms were bigger than most freshman dorms. As much as they joked about it, the girls really did have a great time hanging out in the hall together and it was excellent bonding before the season and classes got into the full swing of things.

Sara tried hard not to think about preseason last year and the eight weeks she spent in a small room with  _ her _ .

She wasn’t going to let her memories of last year taint this preseason or any of the rugby activities to come. Sara dropped in her bag on a bed inside room 312 and started to unpack her things. She mostly brought rugby clothes so it didn’t take too long to shove all of it into the small dresser on her side of the room. Sara put in headphones and grabbed her laptop deciding to watch a little Brooklyn Nine-Nine until Charlie showed up or it was time to gather in the common room.

An hour or so later Charlie walked in the room carrying a bag much too big for all the stuff she needed. “I see you’ve already grabbed a bed for yourself.”

“Are you moving in for the whole year? You know you can just go back to the house in a week or so when you’ve run out of clothes?”

“Eh I was too lazy to unpack yesterday so this is just all the rugby clothes I brought with me for the whole semester. Felt easier this way.” Charlie returned to unpacking in silence, if you could even call opening a suitcase and dumping all of its contents into one drawer unpacking, and then left the room again. No doubt to go hang out with Zari.

When 5:45 rolled around Sara called the pizza place and put in an order for 12 pizzas, on the team’s account of course, and headed down the hall to the common room.

The rookies showed up first, as usual, and then the vets slowly trickled into the room. Everyone seemed to be getting along without awkward ice breakers or ‘get to know you’ games so Sara let the organic bonding continue. 

Right before the pizza arrived Ava and Nora finally showed up. Ava didn’t look like she really wanted to be there, but Sara was having a hard time blaming her for that one. Most team bonding experiences were awkward and forced and if you’re new to a team sometimes you’ll get put in the hot seat. Rugby had a reputation as a misfit sport for a reason, so the Sirens did their best not to make anyone feel outcast or uncomfortable, though Sara would never do that.

But she did need to apologize. Whether she felt like she was in the right earlier or not, she was the captain and that meant keeping the peace. So, she wandered over to Ava and Nora who had joined a circle of a few sophomores.

“Hey, everyone having a good time?” The group smiled up at her, happily eating too much pizza and talking about which dining hall had the best sandwiches. Sara made purposeful eye contact with Ava and nodded over to the door. Ava got the message and excused herself from the group to follow Sara into the hall.

“Okay, here’s the deal. We seemed to have gotten off on the wrong foot.” Ava scoffed, but let Sara continue. “I apologize for yelling at you earlier. It was not very captain-like and you didn’t deserve it. I understand what it’s like to come on to a new team and feel like you have to give it your all to prove yourself. So, I’m sorry for yelling.”

Sara’s words hit a little too close to home and suddenly Ava wanted to be anywhere but in the hallway with Sara Lance. So Ava did what she does best and she lashed out. Again.

“I’m sorry too that you obviously don’t know how to be a very professional captain. I wasn’t trying to prove myself, I don’t care what you think of me. I’m just here to play rugby. We don’t need to do this pretend friend thing.  _ I _ can keep things professional on the field.”

Sara was frustrated now, but really didn’t want to get into another screaming match with Ava today. She just closed her eyes and sighed, trying to release the tension by dropping her hands from her hips and moving one step closer into Ava’s personal space. “Fine ya know what? We can both do what needs to be done without any off-field communication between us. Professionals. I’ll see you at practice,  _ teammate _ .”

“Fine by me  _ Captain Lance _ . ” And then Ava turned to go back inside to the room.

Sara took another minute to herself in the hallway to calm down and put on a happy face. Her team needed a leader, not another hot head picking a fight every time she was in the same room as Ava.

Damn this was gonna be a long season. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the start of some good angst for y’all! It’s gonna be a long ride, stick with me.
> 
> Too much detail on the rugby stuff? Not enough? Let me know! 
> 
> Thanks again for reading!


	3. Professionalism

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rugby lingo for the chapter: 
> 
> line-outs are just rugby’s version of a throw in, it involves two people lifting one person in the air so   
>  that the person in the air can catch the ball 
> 
> I still don’t own the rights to LoT unfortunately. But how fricken good was that episode last week?? Can't wait to see this week! 
> 
> Happy reading!

The next few weeks of pre-season flew by, thankfully, without any more clashes between teammates.

Week one and two of preseason were meant to ease everyone into the season. Newbies were still off with Gideon trying to get acquainted with the sport while Sara ran vet practices. There was a lot of sprinting and skill work so the team could get used to each other’s playing styles, and so their bodies could adjust back to rugby.

During week three the rookies were intermixed with the vets, and it was time to turn up the intensity. There was a lot more contact at practice, with the drills mostly focusing on tackling and rucking. Tuesday and Thursday of week three were spent in the gym. Gideon and Sara wanted to show everyone proper technique in their lifting to make sure no one was going to hurt themselves by going too heavy or lacking knowledge of a certain machine. Sara also handed out their season lifting schedule and workouts, which was met by a lot of groaning from the girls.

When week four rolled around, the team was used to each other and had fully adjusted back to the demanding physical aspect of rugby. Sara loved it when they hit this point in preseason because that meant full-field scrimmages and more time with just the backline working on plays. 

For the most part, Ava and Sara have stuck to their word and only spoken to each other when it was necessary. Surprisingly, the on-field chemistry between the two was outstanding. It was like Sara could read Ava’s mind and always put the ball right where Ava wanted it. The two didn’t even need to communicate to call a play sometimes. Every time the two made a flawless play Amaya and Charlie would make eye contact, and with their ~twin powers~ think to each other how ridiculous it was that the two couldn’t get along off the field. The whole backline was working together beautifully, feeding off the chemistry between their two key players. And honestly, that pissed Sara off even more.

Why couldn’t Ava just play nice off the field too? She was like a different person when they were running drills. She was so level headed and calm, completely focused on what they were doing. Granted, she was still intense and trying just a bit too hard for Sara’s liking. But the two almost had fun on the field, running circles around other players and reading each other’s next moves perfectly. They could have a real shot at friendship if Ava could just suck up her pride for a minute and apologize to Sara for acting like an ass. Sara hadn’t felt chemistry like this with another person since– _no, not going there_.

But they were halfway through preseason, and Sara didn't see their relationship changing anytime soon. They would continue to work together on the field like seasoned professionals and off-field they would continue to hate each other. The tension was obvious to anyone that knew the two girls. It was more of a matter of _when_ it would all come to blow rather than _if_.

Day three of week four had come to a close and the girls were exhausted. Some of the more veteran players started doing two-a-days and building in lifting twice a week on top of practice. The rookies would join in and get used to their lifting and practice schedules before the end of preseason. Sara understood the challenges of balancing preseason and adjusting to a new school and being away from home so she didn’t rush them. As long as their on-field play didn’t suffer because of it, then they could take their time adapting.

Pre-season was frankly exhausting, and so far Sara had been lucky that their coach hadn't asked anything more of her. Which, because Sara had that thought, was obviously about to change.

“Sara, Ava can I speak with you both before you leave.” Gideon called the two over.

“What’s up coach?” Sara asked.

“We’re well into the season now and the girls seemed to have picked up the beginner plays easily. I need you two to step up and start developing more complex plays to teach them. It's obvious that the backline, and mainly the two of you, can handle more of a challenge." 

“No problem. We can meet later and talk strategy.” Ava said only hesitating for a second to confirm with Sara that she was free.

“Glad to hear it. I’m pleased that you two have managed to put aside your differences from that first day of practice and can work together. Keep up the good work.” The two nodded their thanks for the compliment and Gideon walked off.

Ava and Sara stood there awkwardly for second, waiting for their coach to be out of hearing range just in case. But it seemed that they were both still committed to their professionalism.

“Come over to Chop Shop after lunch. It’ll be easier to get work done there.” Sara asked.

Ava choked down the groan that she _so_ badly wanted to let out. “Sure. See you then.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

Sara was busy hoping that the two could manage to be civil for an hour, come up with two or three good plays to teach the team next week and go their separate ways before anyone got injured when there was a knock on her door.

“Ava hey, come on in.” Sara said greeting Ava at the door.

Ava walked through the door, barely looking up to nod hello at Sara. “Hey. So I drew out a few of ESU’s old plays and I figured we could tweak them and make them our own. It’s a good starting point if we don’t have any other ideas to work off of at least.”

“Right to business then I guess? I was hoping we could braid each other’s hair and talk about boys first.” Sara made a joke to hide her disappointment that Ava wasn’t even going to try to get along with Sara. She knows they had this stupid agreement, but come on.

“First of all, I’m not really the boyfriend type. Second of all, I thought we agreed that we were strictly business.”

Sara raised an eyebrow at Ava’s comment but put it in the back of her mind to deal with later. “You’re right. I drew up a few of my own play ideas as well so let’s see what we’ve got to work with.”

The two compared their plays, bouncing ideas off of each other and using a whiteboard that Chop Shop kept in the house. Things were going well. No snippy comments or low blows from either side and Sara thought they were actually going to be able to agree on three plays. The first two plays that they came up with were no-brainers for them both. They weren’t super complex, but they would get the job done and make Gideon happy. Choosing the third play, however, wasn’t going as smoothly.

Sara had been developing a play for a few weeks that she thinks they could make work. But it’s very complicated and would eat up some serious practice time to learn. Plus, it could only be used in very specific circumstances.

“It’ll work if we get it down! We have enough talent on this team to make it work. Can’t we just give it a shot?” Sara pleaded. She put a lot of work into developing this play and she wasn’t going to roll over.

Ava stood her ground. “It’s a waste of everyone’s time to try and learn this when we’ll probably never even get to use it.”

“Sorry, but I’m not compromising on this one.” Sara finally said, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair.

“Well I’m not either so I guess we’re at a standstill.” Ava stared back, challenging Sara.

Sara’s shoulders sagged a bit. “ Just let me have this one play.”

“The play makes no sense, I have plenty of other plays that will work better.” Ava wasn’t budging.

“Yours are overdone and boring. Other teams will never see this one coming. What’s the point of playing at this level if we can’t push the envelope of creativity a bit?” 

“Why are you being so stubborn about this?” Ava was confused. Up until this point Sara seemed willing to roll over, for lack of a better term, whenever Ava pushed back. She knew the other girl was doing it to keep peace on the team, so she didn't get what it was about this play that changed Sara's tone.

“Because I can be and you haven’t been willing to work with me up until this point so why should I be willing to work with you?” Sara was frustrated and exhausted from pre-season and wishing that this stupid meeting would just be over. Ava had been under her skin since the second they met and every time they had moments of peace between them Sara got even more pissed off that Ava was picking and choosing when to be difficult. So after things had been going so well for so long, Sara was not in the mood to compromise with her. 

Ava didn’t have an answer to that question. Sara was right, she hadn’t given Sara much of a reason to like her off the field. Sara even tried to apologize and Ava shot her down so why would Sara compromise now?

When Sara was met with silence she got even more frustrated and blurted out her comment without thinking. “It’s not my fault you’re such a hard ass that doesn’t know how to chill for two fucking seconds and just work with me instead of against me.”

Ava apparently had enough. She picked up her stuff and stormed out of Chop Shop without a glance back at Sara.

 _Fuck_ Sara thought. _I definitely shouldn’t have said that_.

But Sara did not attempt to follow her out the door. It was probably best to let her cool off anyway even if every part of her wanted to run after the girl and apologize so they could go back to the _professional_ tone they had over the last few weeks. Instead, Sara just shook her head and went upstairs to flop onto her bed. They got two plays figured out for now and they’d pick a third eventually.

\----------------------------------------------

Things were tense at practice for the next three days. Sara expected some anger from the girl and some snippy comments during drills, but instead, Ava fought back with silence. Their communication on the field was suffering now too. The chemistry that they had been working with was now nonexistent and everyone could tell something had changed.

But it was finally Sunday, the team’s day off. Sara thought she would get a break from Ava and she was thrilled that she wouldn’t have to deal with the angry glances from her or the questioning looks from her friends.

Then Sara remembered that the men’s team was having its annual mini preseason tournament today. Which meant the women’s team would be there to support them. Sara groaned but grabbed her phone to write in the Siren’s chat reminding everyone to be there by 10:30 for the first game.

Some of her best guy friends were on the men’s team and she knew she had to be there to cheer them on. In addition to Nate, there was Ray, Wally, and Mick. Zari met Ray during the same freshman seminar class that she met Amaya in. He was like the human form of sunshine and Zari found him endlessly annoying at first. But eventually, he grew on her and when he tried out for the men’s team, he and Nate were instant best friends. Wally was a freshman, but his older sister was friends with Sara from high school and had asked Sara to look out for him which meant Nate and Ray immediately took him under their wing during preseason. Mick was Sara’s favorite and definitely the most interesting of the bunch. He was in his sixth year of college with no sign of graduating and the captain of the men’s team for the last three years. Sara was convinced that he was only the captain because the coach of the Custodian’s, Martin Stein, was too terrified of Mick to take it away from him.

Sara ate breakfast and chatted with Amaya and Charlie about the games today. Amaya was excited to see Nate play and Charlie got her kicks heckling players from the other teams. 

The girls jumped into Sara’s car and headed for the fields. They packed a cooler of snacks, brought a ball of their own to play around with, some folding chairs, and a blanket. The sun was shining and Sara felt like today was going to be a good day. Nice weather, good people, and rugby. There was no better way to spend a Sunday in Sara’s mind.

The team slowly trickled in, each girl bringing a blanket of their own or something to play around with on the sidelines. The games today would be a great chance for the newer players to see what fast-paced college rugby looked like and ask any questions they had about general gameplay.

Nora walked up to the group right before the first game started. Sara smiled at her politely. “What’s up Nora? Ava coming separately?”

Nora grimaced. “Umm, I don’t think Ava is coming. I knocked on her door before I left but she was still in pajamas and hadn’t eaten breakfast yet.”

Sara just sighed, feeling her good mood dissipate at the thought of having to drag Ava Sharpe down to the fields unwillingly. She pulled out her phone and sent the girl a text. 

————————

** Ava Sharpe **

**_Today_ ** _10_ _:28 AM_

**Sara Lance (10:28) :**

Where are you?

**Ava Sharpe (10:28) :**

Home? Why is that any of your business?

**Sara Lance (10:30) :**

Mandatory team bonding at the fields. Our men’s team is hosting a tournament and

everyone is required to come and support them

**Ava Sharpe (10:31) :**

But I don’t know any of them and they’re not my team…

Why do I need to be there?

**Sara Lance (10:31) :**

It’s what the Sirens do. We support them and they support us. If you want to be a part

of this team it requires more than just showing up on the field.

**Ava Sharpe (10:32) :**

Is that a threat Lance?

**Sara Lance (10:33) :**

No. It’s a demand from your captain. Now get here

**\-------------------------**

Almost 20 minutes later with no sign of Ava and no sign of a response to her last message, Sara was pissed off. She looked over at Nora with a ‘what the fuck’ expression and Nora could only shrug in response. If this is the type of team member Ava wanted to be, why should Sara care. One less person she had to keep track of and less chance of getting into a fight with her. Fine by her. Sara picked up her phone to tell Ava just that.

**\-------------------------**

**Sara Lance (10:51) :**

Ya know what, never mind.

**Sara Lance (10:53) :**

If you don’t want to be a part of this team then what do I care. Just do your job on the field

and I won’t force you to pretend you actually like anyone here

\---------------------------

Sara still got no response so she threw her phone to the side and focused back in on the game. She wasn’t going to let Ava ruin another one of her good moods. She could cheer on her friends and hang out with her team without thinking about the frustrating girl. It was a nice change of pace after too many weeks of being tense around her.

The Custodians were crushing it on the field. Mick, as usual, was making big hits and driving through people like they weighed nothing. Nate and Ray were working well off each other in the scrum and line-outs. Even Wally was playing well. He hadn’t played in high school, but he was so fast and seemed to be picking up the game easily.

Tournament games tended to be shorter so each team could save their energy for the second game they had to play. When the whistle blew, and after their post-game talk from Coach Stein, the guys jogged over to the Sirens.

Ray walked up to Sara and hugged her. Sara congratulated him on the win and his play. “You guys look great out there! Pre-season must be going well for the team.”

“Thanks, Sara! Stein has been kicking our butt at practice. He’s a tough old man.”

Nate walked over to Ray and smacked him lightly on the shoulder. “Dude, sick pass.”

“Not as good as your hit, bro.” Ray responded.

“You guys are so weird.” Zari said not moving from her lounging position on the blanket or even bothering to take off her glasses.

Ray caught Nora’s eye and waved at her timidly. Sara raised an eyebrow at her friend. “You know Nora?”

Ray blushed a bit. “Not really. I was a TA for her freshman chemistry class last year and I think she’s a bio-chem major. I never actually got up the nerve to talk with her and she was way too smart to need my help with anything.” 

“Dude, why didn’t you talk to her at a Sirens thing last year?” Nate said. 

“I was her TA. I thought it might be weird so I just didn’t. I don’t know. Anyway, back to the game.” Ray took a seat on the blanket next to Zari and turned his attention to the game on the field. “I thought we played really well, but the next game will definitely be better competition.”

Nate and Sara exchanged a mischievous glance and decided they would pow-wow on this later. For now, they just took a seat next to their friends and watched another 40 minutes of rugby.

\--------------------------------------------------------- 

Ava was laying in her bed watching Parks and Rec. It had been hours since her text exchange with Sara and she’s talked herself in and out of responding so many times she’s lost count.

Her morning had been absolute shit.

Her parents called, which was enough to ruin her mood on its own. They only ever asked if she was ready for classes or making sure she made time for studying. Classes hadn't even started yet and they were already down her throat.

Then a memory from ESU pre-season two years ago popped up on her Facebook. Seeing the faces of the people who used to be her best friends was still hard. She moved across the country to get away from those people and everything that happened at ESU, but that didn’t mean all the pain went away. It was hard to look at them all and see how happy she was feeling like a part of something. 

In another lifetime, before everything went down at ESU, she would’ve loved mandatory team bonding and being a part of an organization that supports both the men’s and the women’s team fully. The Sirens were presenting her with an opportunity to be part of a great team. Now though, she was having a hard time trusting anyone and falling back into the comfort of a team wasn’t something she was ready for just yet. 

Ava slammed her laptop shut, annoyed just thinking about how the day’s events unfolded and rolled over. Maybe sleep would bring her some peace of mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Comments feed my writing soul


	4. Parties and Rumors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone that has commented / left kudos! It seriously brings me so much happiness to see that people are enjoying the story. So happy that this chapter is coming a day early & with about 2000 more words than the previous 3 chapters!
> 
> Preseason is coming to an end in this chapter, but the fighting is definitely just getting started.
> 
> Rugby lingo:  
> In rugby, scoring is called a ‘try’ and the area behind the posts is a try-zone. In order to score a try you have to  
> touch the ball down in the try-zone with complete control of the ball.
> 
> I’ve thrown in some dialogue in this chapter and a few other chapters straight from the show. It’s pretty minimal but sometimes it just fit right in. But once again, I don’t own LoT or that dialogue. Just repurposing its characters for my own amusement. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

It was finally the last day of preseason for the Sirens. Eight very long and exhausting weeks were coming to a close.

The girls were running a drill they called BD. It was a simple tackling drill with an infamously secret name that has been passed down through so many generations of Sirens that nobody playing even knows the real name of it anymore or how it came to be “BD.” Every year an incoming class of rookies would try and guess the name on the first day of practice. 

The drill was simple really. The team was split into two lines and when coach blew the whistle, the player in front of each line took off around their assigned cone and came face to face inside of a grid. The offense was doing anything and everything it took to get around the defender and touch the ball down in the try zone. The defender was allowed to tackle either player, but their goal was to use their feet and practice getting in the proper body position when faced with a two on one situation.

Of course, eventually the drill evolved and became more difficult as the weeks went on. Soon it became a two v. one situation, and today the team was separated into two different grids for quicker play and maximum exhaustion. 

After 8 weeks of suffering through the drill in the August heat, the rookies still hadn’t learned the BD origin story, but they definitely understood its infamy. The August heat was particularly unbearable today and there was sweat dripping from every inch of the players. Half the team wasn’t even wearing a shirt anymore and the other half only kept theirs on just so they had something to wipe the sweat off with.

“Keep it up, ladies! If you master the form when you’re exhausted it will be like second nature in a game!” Gideon yelled. She was pacing back and forth between the two grids just observing everyone.

“And why are the Siren’s the best team in the nation?” Sara chimed in, managing to raise her voice despite being completely out of breath.

“Cause we work till the very last breath!” The whole team yelled back with a surprising amount of passion.

“What was that ladies? I can’t hear you!” Sara responded back.

“We work until our very last breath!” The team shouted back in unison again.

Ava had thought the little mid-practice mantra was silly at first. Just another cheesy Sirens thing that she didn’t understand or want to be a part of. But after a few practices of doing it, she was willing to admit, only to herself, that it pumped her up. She could tell the Siren traditions were slowly growing on her despite all her efforts to keep her feelings neutral.

There was a lot about the Sirens that Ava was learning to like now that she was beginning to adjust to being a member of a new team. 

All of the veteran players and Gideon were welcoming and made her feel like a member right from the start. The little things like the mantras and mandatory bonding created the type of team environment that made you want to work harder for yourself and the girl standing next to you. Something the ESU team certainly didn’t have. There were also the beautiful facilities and the on-call trainer in case something happened during practices or games. Gideon, and Sara, were both very insistent that the player’s bodies and health came first. If anyone ever felt like they took a hit too hard or tweaked something, Gideon was the first person to tell them to sit the next drill out or go see the trainer.

The focus on players first, winning later, was a shock for Ava. She hadn’t been raised in a household that valued relationships above success and she certainly had never played for a coach or team that felt that way. But the Sirens were one of the top names in women’s rugby. Someone they had created a positive atmosphere that still came out successful. 

And Ava had discovered over the last couple of weeks, much to her dismay, that Sara was a damn good captain. She took care of her team and made sure to push everyone just the right amount. She was always the first person at the fields and the last person to leave. She offered to stay after and work with anyone that was having a hard time and adjusted her lifting schedule so that she could be in the gym when newer members were working out. She never yelled, except that one time at Ava, and she made sure everyone was giving their all at practices. From what Ava could tell, she put the team before everything and she absolutely loved rugby. 

While Ava was still having a hard time adjusting to a different team and being under a captain that did things _so_ differently than how she did as captain of her own team, she had a lot of respect for Sara and the Sirens’ program. 

Ava snapped out of her thoughts as she approached the front of her line. Standing next to her was Helena, and they would be up against Diana. Diana was a senior and one of the most talented tacklers on the team so Ava knew she would have to quickly spot a flaw in her defense in order to get around her.

Ava received a quick pop pass from Helena and rounded the corner. Picking her head up quickly and assessing where her partner and Diana placed themselves within the grid, Ava could sense that Diana had slightly turned her body towards Helena in anticipation for a pass. That ever so slight anticipation told Ava exactly how to win.

She took two steps up and ran straight towards Diana’s inside shoulder so she could fake a pass to Helena. The fake was enough for Diana to fully commit her body in the wrong direction and Ava took a quick, easy step outside and touched the ball down in the makeshift try zone.

Gideon stepped up, a pleased smile on her face. “I think that’s a good note to end it on ladies! Great work Ava. Everyone go get some water.”

The team jogged over the sidelines where they kept their water and happily took off their cleats. Not that they didn’t all love preseason, but practice six days a week for eight weeks was a lot. The team chatted with each other about their weekend plans and classes starting on Monday while they waited for Gideon and Sara to clean up all the cones.

“Well ladies, you survived preseason!” Everyone cheered and clapped. “Now the real fun starts. Your captain has a few things to say, but I’m gonna clear out so you can all chat. See you Tuesday.”

“Let’s give our fearless leader one last round of applause for kicking our asses this preseason and prepping us for our best season yet!” Sara yelled so Gideon could hear them cheer as she walked back to her car. She gave them a wave over her shoulder to let them know she appreciated it. “Now that coach is gone, I want to thank you all for making my life easier by coming into the season ready to kick butt. And to all our newbies, thanks for sticking around and not running off scared.” The group chuckled.

Zari chimed in too. “And while we’re at it, let’s thank our captain for being amazing and keeping our spirits high through way too many sweaty practices.” The group cheered the loudest yet for Sara. 

“Okay okay. Thank you all for that.” Sara smiled. They always made her feel loved. “Continuing on with the plans for the rest of the season. You all have your lifting schedules and access to the google spreadsheet to fill out when you’re doing it. I know it’s a pain in the ass but we have to keep each other accountable. Practices are Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday from 7 to 9. There’s also optional fitness on Mondays for those that need to work on your cardio or just like the pain of a 5k. Games are Saturday mornings, I’ll be sending out the season schedule later today so be on the look-out for that. And last but not least, I believe we have a birthday coming up this Tuesday.”

Nora immediately put her head in her hands. She never liked being the center of attention. “I feel like you guys are probably just using this as an excuse to throw a party, but can we please not have a cake.”

“Oh, Nora. There’s always a cake.” Zari responded by nudging her friend’s shoulder.

Sara chuckled. “There doesn’t have to be a cake if you don’t want one, Nora. But there will definitely be a party. Tomorrow night at Chop Shop is the first official party of the season.” Another round of cheers. Everyone seemed to be in really high spirits today, but Sara needed to be serious laying out the rules for her team. She cleared her throat and let the group calm down before continuing. 

“Before everyone gets too excited - ground rules for Sirens parties. Vets, I know you all know our rules already so I’m counting on you to keep the newbies in check. For everyone else, yes you are all allowed to drink during the season. We keep it that way because Gideon and I understand that there’s a certain rugby culture and we don’t want to put a damper on that. HOWEVER, if any of you shows up to practice or a game hungover that rule changes for everyone and there will be absolutely no drinking for the rest of the year. Nobody wants to be that guy, so light drinking at the party and make sure you’re still good enough to get to the gym the next day. As long as nobody crosses that line then we can all have a great season and have some fun while doing it. Understood?” The team nodded back to Sara. “Great let’s bring it in then, ladies. Kara on you.

The team huddled up putting their hands into the circle. “Sirens on three! One, two, three!” Kara counted down.

“Sirens!” The whole team yelled, throwing up their arms.

“See you all tomorrow!” Sara yelled as people scattered. She went back to the field to get some dropkick practice in. Once classes started it would be impossible to get any extra training outside of the mandatory stuff.

She ended preseason the same way she started it: lying peacefully in the middle of the field.

\----------------------------------------------------- 

Saturday for Sara meant sleeping in and lunch with friends. She always woke up to a full house on the weekends with Charlie, Amaya, Zari, who inevitably ended up on their couch, and Nate who still managed to be awkward about coming out of Amaya’s room three years later.

The group decided to venture off-campus and splurge for ‘one last fun lunch before bloody hell begins.’ Obviously, Charlie’s words. They picked up Mick, Ray, and Wally on their way off campus and headed for their favorite diner down the street. 

Wally slid into the booth, Ray, and Zari, and Sara sliding in beside him with Charlie, Amaya, and Nate across from them and Mick on the end. 

They ordered quickly and started chatting. “Excited for freshman year Wally?” Amaya asked.

Wally smiled. “Oh hell yeah. Not that pre-season with the guys hasn’t been fun but I’m ready for the real stuff to start. And classes I guess.”

“Nerd.” Mick grumbled. The rest of the group didn’t even react. Mick really just came along for the ride because he knew he could get someone to pay for his food in exchange for him buying the alcohol for the party later. 

“How about you guys? Ready for junior year and the season to start?” Wally directed his question at all the ladies. 

“You know it.” Zari jumped in, responding for all of them. “We worked our asses off, I think this is definitely our year.” 

“If only we could play all the rugby without the classes.” Sara groaned. 

Nate looked at her understandingly. Although he loved his classes and history had always come naturally to him, he had known Sara for a long time and helped her through her struggles with school. “You’ll pull through Sara, you always do. Plus you have this table of nerds to help you out.”

Mick grunted again, clearly unhappy at being called a nerd. 

Charlie protested as well. “Watch who you’re calling a nerd, pretty boy.”

“Oh please Charlie. You have the best grades at this table.” Amaya never let her sister get away with her badass act. The rest of the group snickered. 

“I’ve told you lot, legal theory is important to challenging the patriarchy.” 

Zari raised an eyebrow at Charlie now too. “And getting good grades is important to challenge the patriarchy because…?”

“At least I don’t pretend to be all innocent and spend my spare time hacking into government websites.” Charlie challenged back.

Sara pivoted, not wanting to witness another one of Charlie and Zari’s weirdly sexually charged arguments. “I appreciate the offer Nate, and if I need the help I will do my best to ask.” 

Ray and Nate had both helped Sara out in the past with her classes, but Sara was more determined to do it on her own this year. It was embarrassing to have to ask her friends for help all the time, and as much as Sara didn’t want to admit it, she was too proud to want to feel like she had to lean on them for everything. She knew that pride was stupid and her grades should trump that feeling, but her insecurities won out more often than not. 

As long as her performance kept up on the field, she could handle trudging through some mandatory academics.

“You could always just ask Ava for help Sara.” Charlie, smirk plastered on her face, commented. 

Nate leaned forward, smiling like Charlie had just revealed some big secret. “Oooh, who’s Ava?” 

Sara dramatically dropped her head onto the table. 

“New crush Sara? Does she play rugby? Is she a freshman? Why haven’t we met her?” Nate continued. 

“Ugh god no. She’s a transfer this year and an absolute pain in my ass.” 

“Is she hot?” This time Nate directed his question as Charlie, sensing that Sara wasn’t going to admit anything.

“Smokin hot. She’s got a stick up her ass though. Her and cap here have butted heads quite a bit.”

Sara groaned louder. “Butted heads, that’s what you’re gonna call it? She has been a nightmare. She thinks she knows everything and she acts like she’s too good for the Sirens.”

Amaya gave Sara a look. “Come on, she hasn’t been that bad. She’s a little rough around the edges, but I think she’s just adjusting.”

Sara scoffed, and Ray jumped in to change the subject again, this time bringing up the party at Chop Shop tonight. Parties were always a safe conversation with the group. 

Talk of the upcoming festivities were enough to distract Sara and the rest of the crew for the remainder of lunch. They shuffled out of the booth, Ray _offering_ to pay for Rory as usual, and continued on with their errands for the party.

The group set up the house with a few beer pong tables and a spot for the keg in the corner. With a few hours to spare, the house was ready and Sara could happily crawl back into bed for a nap before the party began.

\----------------------------------------------------- 

Saturday for Ava meant something different than it did for most people. She was up early, starting her day off with a light run and a healthy breakfast. 

Ava always loved running through ESU before the people were up and about, and it was no different at CU. With classes starting in a couple of days, campus was finally starting to fill up, but before 7 am, when the thousands of students were milling around the campus, it was peaceful. Ava could think about classes and rugby, and the fresh start she was getting this year.

Then she had an obligatory phone call with her parents, which went just as well as it always did. They asked about what classes she was taking and how her sleep schedule was adjusting to the new time zone. _It’s been eight weeks why wouldn’t I be adjusted by now?_

But Ava knew it was just another way for her parents to avoid asking about rugby, or god forbid, if she was making friends. Her mother had been so proud when Ava told her that she wasn’t going out or hanging out with the team outside of practice.

“That’s good sweetie, stay focused on your studies. Boys and alcohol are just a distraction. Soon you’ll be in medical school and those things won’t matter anyways.” Her mom had said, as if boys or alcohol were a constant concern of Ava's and her parents were _so_ worried about the constant distractions. 

When she finally hung up with her mother, all Ava wanted to do was crawl back into her bed and relax, but Nora _demanded_ her presence at lunch with her friend Gary that she “swears isn’t annoying.”

Ava reluctantly walked out to the car with Nora, pausing before she got in. “Okay fine I’ll come but if he’s annoying then I have the right to come home and skip this ridiculous party tonight.”

Nora just rolled her eyes at her friend. “Just get in the car Sharpe. Maybe Gary will be enough of a distraction for you to stop complaining about ‘Sara Lance and her idiotic party’ for a whole lunch.”

Ava hopped in the passenger seat. “I do not complain about her that much.” 

“Please, she is literally all I’ve heard about for the past eight weeks. I’m gonna start resenting her myself just because your stupid feud with her is driving me crazy. I don’t get your deal with her anyway.”

Ava was quiet until they picked up Gary. They got the pleasantries out of the way and Ava went back to sitting silently in the passenger seat while Nora and Gary chatted about classes starting next week. Gary was a tall scrawny guy with glasses and a huge grin permanently in place on his face. Ava knew he wasn’t a part of the men’s team but he seemed to be wearing a lot of their apparel nonetheless.

After another couple of minutes, Ava spoke up again. “Why does it have to be my deal with Sara? Who says she isn’t the one that started it.”

Nora just groaned not wanting to get into the same argument she’s had with Ava at least three times now.

Gary chimed in instead. “Oh, are we talking about Sara Lance? What deal? Do you have a crush on her? Does she have a crush on you? She is very attractive. But I thought she wasn’t going to date anyone again after Nyssa?”

“Oh my god, Gary!” Nora’s eyes went wide at the amount of information Gary just shared. Nora was sure Sara didn’t want anyone, especially Ava, gossiping about that.

“Who is Nyssa? And I most certainly do not have a crush on her!” Ava was offended that Gary would even begin to assume she had a crush on Sara.

“Did she flirt with you and that’s why you’re mad? Everyone knows that she is a huge flirt.”

“You’re not answering my question about Nyssa?”

“Gary stop talking. I beg of you.” Nora wanted to bang her head against the steering wheel. “Before Gary goes into overshare mode again, I will fill you in on the Nyssa situation. But it’s really not my story to tell and you have to promise you’re not going to use it against Sara next time you guys get into a stupid argument.”

“Fine, if it’s that bad then you know I wouldn’t stoop that low.” Ava replied. She was mostly just curious about Sara’s past so if it took keeping a secret to learn more than she could definitely do that. Captain Sara seemed all about rugby, but Ava knew she had to have some demons hidden away.

“Nyssa was a senior on the team last year. Total cold-hearted bitch in my opinion, but Sara fell for her. Hard. They dated for most of the year and then a few weeks before graduation Sara found out that Nyssa had been sleeping with a bunch of other people the whole time they were together. Nyssa claimed it was because she didn’t do commitment and swore that Sara knew that, but nevertheless Sara was heartbroken. Since they were both on the team, everyone kind of got dragged into it. It got pretty messy.”

Gary took the seconds of silence to jump in again. “And then I heard she slept with anyone she could to get over Nyssa this summer.”

Nora groaned again. She loved Gary, she really did, but sometimes he was a hopeless gossip. “Gary, what did I just say. You don’t even know that if that’s true or not.”

“I heard it from John, I trust him.”

“John Constantine is still bitter that Sara wouldn’t sleep with him freshman year, you absolutely cannot trust him.”

“Sounds like CU has a lot of drama that I need to catch up on.” Ava replied trying to steer the conversation away from Sara and her sex life. Ava wanted to learn more about the girl, but it didn’t feel right to be gossiping about her when she wasn’t here to defend herself.

“You don’t know the half of it.” And there Gary went on another roll about some other girl from his psych class last year that he _swears_ was sleeping with a professor. Ava played into his story, letting him have the limelight. Maybe lunch with friends wasn’t so bad.

\----------------------------------------------------- 

The party was in full swing when Nora, Gary, and Ava walked in later that night.

Sara was off in the corner chatting with some people that Ava didn’t recognize while most of the other girls were playing beer pong against some of the guy’s team or dancing in the living room. The three walked over to the keg so that Gary and Nora could grab some drinks. Ava walked over to an empty corner of the room while her friends joined in a drinking game.

Parties had never been much of Ava’s thing. She knew that a lot of people used freshman year to drink and get away with everything they couldn’t in high school, but Ava usually felt overwhelmed and out of place and huge parties like this. She never had a group of people to bring with her or a reason to attend many parties so she didn’t feel like she really needed them.

Plus, Ava was always sober during the season. Even when she was allowed to drink, she didn’t love the feeling of losing control or the hangover that came with it the next day. It just wasn’t worth it to her. Although it didn’t seem like anyone else at this party felt that way.

Mick, she believed his name was, was already on his second keg stand since she walked in. Nate and Amaya were obviously a few drinks in if their making out on the dance floor was any indication. Charlie and Zari were in the kitchen doing body shots.

How anyone on this team would be well enough tomorrow morning to make it to the gym was beyond her.

Even Sara was in the corner with a red cup in one hand and surrounded by people absolutely fawning over what Ava was sure was some idiotic story that Sara was telling to impress people. 

Ava was thinking about what Gary said earlier and Sara’s apparent reputation for hooking up and partying. It probably wasn’t too hard for her to find people to hook up with based on the current circle of people hanging on her every word. 

Ava wasn’t blind to how attractive Sara was with her toned arms and perfect eyebrows. Ava watched as one of said perfect eyebrows raised and her smile stretched across her face revealing her dimples. It was impossible not to see why people would fawn over Sara Lance, but that didn’t mean she had a stupid crush on her like Gary implied earlier. 

They’ve been at each other’s throats since Ava got to CU, which, in Ava’s experience was definitely the opposite of having a crush. Lost in her musings and soaking up her first Sirens party, Ava didn’t notice Sara walking up to her.

“Oh hey, Ava, how was your day?” Sara asked sidling up next to Ava with a big smile in place.

Ava couldn’t tell if it was fake or not and just assumed that Sara was drunk if she was being this nice to her. “Um, good? How many drinks have you had?”

Sara scrunched up her eyebrows. “What? None. I don’t drink during the season.”

Ava found that hard to believe. “Then what’s with the literal ton of alcohol you have at this party and allowing the team to drink during the season? What, you and your band of idiots can’t throw a party without everyone getting drunk?”

Sara just came over to say hi. She was in a good mood all day and looking forward to her first party of the year. After lunch with her friends and thinking about Amaya saying that Ava was just having a tough time adjusting, she was hoping to talk with Ava and put whatever bad blood they had during preseason behind them. 

She should’ve known better than to assume Ava could just be pleasant for five minutes. “We have a reputation to uphold on this campus Ava. The Sirens are more than just a team, we’re a community and everyone needs to let loose once and a while. I wouldn’t expect you to understand that.”

“And why wouldn’t I understand that?” Ava turned her body towards Sara now, subconsciously trying to intimidate her with her size. 

“You just don’t seem like the type to let loose a lot.” As if Sara was ever going to back down from a verbal sparring match.

“Well, probably not as loose as you get. Can’t let some silly season ruin your habits.”

Sara was taken aback by Ava’s words. Ava had only been on campus just a few weeks, what did she even know about Sara’s habits? Before Sara could say anything she might regret, she just sighed, turned around and walked up the stairs into her room.

Ava’s face fell and she immediately regretted the words that came out of her mouth. She promised Nora she wasn’t going to use stupid rumors against her. Ava didn’t want to be that person, but once again Sara had gotten under her skin and made her say something she regretted. But Sara was up the stairs before Ava could even get the word sorry out of her mouth.

Zari had watched the interaction from the kitchen and quickly followed her best friend up the stairs, brushing past Ava.

Zari knocked on the door to Sara’s room, but knew she wasn’t likely to get a response. She let herself in and plopped down on the bed. A few minutes of silence went by before she realized Sara was waiting on her. “What a bitch, huh?”

Sara couldn’t help but chuckle at her friend. “Took the words right out of my mouth, Z.”

“You alright though? I overheard from the kitchen.”

“I’ll be fine. I’m sick of having the stupid shit from the past year thrown in my face though. I just wanted to have a nice party with some friends and welcome in the new school year. I don’t even really understand what I did to make Ava hate me so much. I walked over to her trying to be friendly and put everything behind us. I don’t want more tension on the team”

Zari could see that her friend was defeated. “Sara you can’t make everyone like you. And I know she’s on the team and you want everything to be perfect this year after the hell that was last year, but sometimes personalities just clash. You guys are okay on the field so stop trying with her off the field and just let things be what they are. You’ve tried to be nice but she doesn’t want it. There’s not much more you can do.”

“People here like me Z, I’m a nice person. I know maybe last year and this summer I didn’t deal with things the best that I could have, but I was never mean to anyone. I’m a good captain and the Sirens deserve to all feel like our team is a place where they can relax.”

“Sara, you are a good captain. Nobody is blaming you for Ava and I know with 100% certainty that nobody blamed you for Nyssa being evil.”

“I don’t know how to deal with this weird tension we have.”

“Well, you know Charlie’s thoughts on tension.”

“Same as her thoughts on everything.” Sara put on her best Charlie smirk and British accent. “Have ya tried banging it out, mate?”

Sara and Zari both cracked up. “That is the _worst_ Charlie impression I have ever heard. Please never do that again.”

“Horrible impression or not, that is so not the solution to this situation.”

Zari wasn’t totally convinced, but didn’t think now was the time to seriously broach that subject. “Whatever you say, Lance. Let’s go downstairs and you can watch everyone else have fun and take shots and then tell us tomorrow what we did.” Zari put her arm around her friend’s shoulder and walked with her out of the room.

Sara knew Zari was right about letting this go, but after Nyssa and the terrible team environment, while all of that was going down, she really wanted to start the year off right. After tonight it didn’t seem like that was going to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?? 
> 
> Things are really picking up the next few chapters (I'm super excited!!!) I'd love to hear thoughts on what it could be or what you'd like to see happen!


	5. A stupid, frustrating, bitchy sandwich

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone that continues to comment and leave kudos!! Y’all are my heroes!!
> 
> There’s not a ton of Ava in this chapter so I just wanted to say before y’all get started reading that I swear Ava will not be this awful for the entire story. There will be more of her side of things and her relationships outside of fighting with Sara starting soon. I’ve slipped in little glances at how she’s feeling here and there, but the full story will be revealed and she’ll become less of Sara’s antagonist and more of her own character.
> 
> Patience! It’ll be worth it (I hope)!
> 
> Enjoy!!

Things had been tense, to say the least. After the blow-up between Sara and Ava at Nora’s party, the two tried to steer clear of each other, but the rest of the team was unsure how to move forward. 

Practices were awkward. Everyone, including Sara and Ava, felt like they were trying to navigate a minefield. Communication was stifled, passes were being dropped constantly, and nothing was coming together.

Gideon wasn’t sure what had happened in the couple days between the end of preseason and the first practice, but she knew something was off. She had dealt with enough petty feuds and bickering players in her day to know one when she saw one, but she was admittedly at a loss on how to force them to work together on the field. 

Sometimes, no matter how hard she tried, certain players just wouldn’t get along. And while Gideon could understand personalities clashing off the field, there was no place for it on the field. It was like the tension in the backline was making every one of her players forget how to catch and throw a ball. 

And with no teamwork to be seen, the players quickly became frustrated with themselves and their teammates. 

“Why would you run that play when we’re in the middle of our half? You’re gonna give the ball right to the other team! Next time how about you just lay down and we’ll hand it to them.” Alex, a senior and key player in the backline, yelled to her sister Kara.

“Mate, back off, I told her to run the play and it would’ve been fine if you were where you were supposed to be.” Charlie butted in.

“So somehow it’s my fault you made a shitty call?” Alex asked, definitely not standing down.

Ava had enough. “Guys! Just shut up. It’s my job to call the plays so get back into position and we’ll try it again. If everyone just focuses on their role, we’ll pull it off.”

Sara just grumbled under her breath, not wanting to get involved or have to butt heads with Ava in the middle of practice. Again.

Sara was frustrated, and tired, and frankly, a little pissed off. She was mostly pissed at Ava for being incredibly difficult, but she was also pissed off at herself. This was her first season as captain and she had _a lot_ of making up to do after last season. But nothing she was doing seemed to be working and now her team was falling apart in front of her eyes. 

How was she supposed to be captain if she didn’t even feel comfortable stepping in and de-escalating situations between her players?

She just didn’t get Ava. She didn’t know what she had done to Ava to cause so much hostility. The girl was clearly angry and for whatever reason Sara had become the easy outlet for it.

Deep down, under Sara’s own insecurities about being captain and making everyone like her, she knew that the whole situation was probably less about what she had done to Ava and more about the baggage that Ava brought with her to Colorado. And as much as Sara understood what it was like to mishandle emotional baggage, she was tired of always cutting Ava slack.

Off the field, Sara couldn’t care less how Ava dealt with her issues, but it was bleeding into how the Sirens were performing and Sara couldn’t have that. Sara Lance was a fixer and she wanted nothing more than to _help_ Ava become a part of her team so they could all walk off into the sunset holding the championship trophy together. But she didn’t know what to do with her.

She tried being nice, and Ava bitched.

She tried bitching back when Ava snapped, and Ava still bitched.

She was trying to ignore her, and Ava was still bitching it was just at everyone else instead of her now.

But the ball was in Ava’s court as far as Sara was concerned. Captain or not, she was done trying to win over someone that didn’t want any part of her or the team. After they won the championship, Ava could go back to pretending she didn’t know her name for all she cared.

Gideon, having similar hopes about the championship, was watching the argument and failed plays from the sideline, trying to figure out how to help her girls get along. Something was going to have to give if the team had any chance in their first game next weekend. 

Finally, an idea clicked. She knew just what to do, and called her team in for a huddle so she could share. 

“Alright, ladies listen up. You have all been giving it everything you’ve got in practice, and while I appreciate that, sometimes the issue isn’t with the skill or your field time. Sometimes it’s a simple team chemistry issue and I think that’s what we’ve got here. _So_ ,” She emphasized, making sure she had everyone’s attention. “Before you all groan about hating team bonding, we’re having one last **mandatory** team bonding event. This weekend we’ll be going on a camping trip in Breckenridge. We’ll leave Friday mid-afternoon and get back late Sunday night. If you need to get out of any classes you have on Friday let me know and I’ll see what I can do, or we’ll just have another car leave later that night.”

When she was done speaking, and those that had protests got it out of their system, Gideon handed things off to Sara. She trusted that her captain would know what to do and how to handle things even if this was just as much of a surprise to her as it was to everyone else.

Sara, who had learned to never question Gideon, confidently answered any and all questions about the camping trip, ensuring them that this was indeed mandatory. She gave them a basic packing list that she had memorized from years of experience and sent them all on their way.

Amaya, Charlie, Zari, and Sara climbed out of Sara’s car back at Chop Shop, seeing Nora and Ava pull into their house next door at the same time. Sara just groaned and made her way into the house.

Zari and Charlie exchanged a look with Amaya that said ‘all you’ and quickly rushed up to Charlie’s room. Amaya accepted that it was her job to deal with whatever was happening with Sara and Ava now and followed in the house after her.

Sara was in the kitchen making a sandwich, but grumbling under her breath. Amaya approached with caution. “Sara, babe, you look like you’re trying to hurt that bread.”

Sara continued stacking her sandwich, angrily adding the components as she spoke. “I’m just making a sandwich Amaya. A stupid—” cheese “frustrating—” meat “bitchy—” lettuce “sandwich.” 

Amaya waited for Sara to put her sandwich together and grabbed her arm lightly so that Sara was looking at her. “Hun, this isn’t about the food and you know it. Let’s talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about Amaya.” Sara huffed, knowing she wasn’t getting out of this conversation and plopped into a chair. “The team is in ruins all because our newbie can’t make nice and somehow it’s my fault and I’m just going to ruin the legacy of the Sirens forever. I ruined last season, apparently I’m ruining this season. Generations of Sirens to come will talk about Sara Lance the captain that trashed the team.” Sara shrugged casually, as if she wasn’t being a drama queen, and took a bite of her sandwich.

Amaya was shocked. She had never seen Sara so down on herself. “You can’t actually think any of that right?”

Sara just shrugged again.

“Sara, nobody on this team blames you. Last year may have not been all sunshine and rainbows, but you were a victim to Nyssa’s reign of terror just as much as the rest of us. And I know things have been a little tense so far this season, but there’s plenty of time to turn it around.” Amaya took the seat at the table across from Sara, making sure that she knew Sara was hearing her. “And as much as you really don’t want to hear it, it’s not fair to put all of the blame on Ava either.”

“Why not, ‘Maya? She’s the one that’s being difficult. I’ve tried being friendly. I tried to give her space. I’ve tried just being her captain. Nothing seems to work so now, I’m done with her. I don’t want to interact with her outside of practice.”

“Sara, come on. You know that’s not how this team works. If you don’t make it work, or at least pull it together on the field, then Gideon is going to find some weird way to force the two of you together. Knowing Gideon, if she thinks the two of you hate each other she’ll find some secret way to make you fall in love with each other just to teach you a lesson about teamwork.”

“Ha! That’d be the day. I know she’s crazy, but she doesn’t have that kind of power.” Sara couldn’t help but think of how ridiculous that would be. Ava couldn’t even stand to be in the same building as her.

“My point is that you guys have to find a way to get along if we’re gonna make this season work. We have all the right talent, now we just need to act like a team. I know you care more about that than some stupid rivalry.”

“I’m not sure it’s gonna happen this year. I know we’re all putting in the work, but sometimes talent isn’t enough ya know? Like Gideon said, something about our chemistry is missing. I’m not sure we can force that to be there.”

“Don’t sound so defeated already, the actual season hasn’t even begun yet. Gideon wouldn’t be dragging us to the woods if she didn’t think it had a chance to work.”

Sara looked pointedly at Amaya; “Gideon hasn’t seen us at each other’s throats every time we're near each other outside of practice.”

“I’ve actually talked to Ava a couple times when you weren’t around and she can actually be pretty nice once you get past the initial layer. I don’t think she has anything against you. Maybe you and Ava will bond this weekend or something. ”

“I don’t know what the ‘or something’ is, but I’d put my money on that.”

“Sara.” 

“No, Amaya, I’m serious. I’ve tried. This is not on me anymore.”

“The Sara Lance I know would never give up that easily on someone that is clearly hurting.” Amaya, for what felt like the 100th time in this conversation, was giving Sara her patented mom glare.

Sara just stared back at her friend. Amaya was right. She knew that Ava was hurting and she knew that Sara would never leave someone to struggle on her own if she felt like she could help. But there was only so much a girl could take. 

She was about to respond, and tell Amaya that she was willing to give her **_one_ **more chance **,** when she heard a subtle knock at the door and looked back at Amaya questioningly. “Nate?”

Amaya shook her head. “No, Nate is way past knocking at this point. He’d just stroll in.”

“Right, I’ll see who it is then.”

Sara approached the door, hearing another knock, this time less subtle, letting her know exactly who was behind her front door. 

She opened the door to, as she suspected, Ava. She wasn’t, however, expecting to see the other girl visibly fiddling with her hands. In all their weeks of bickering, she had yet to see Ava show any amount of nervousness. It seemed clear to her that Ava would have preferred to be anywhere but there. Or maybe just talking to anyone but Sara. 

“What a surprise.” Sara said trying to sound genuinely pleasant, or at least neutral, about seeing Ava. She leaned against the door frame, trying to seem relaxed. “What can I do for you, Sharpe?”

If Ava thought that Sara came across unhappy to see her, she didn’t let it show. “I can’t get out of class on Friday, or maybe I could, but I don’t really want to if I can avoid it. Missing class isn’t really something I enjoy.” Ava was rambling, but seemed to catch herself before it could get too out of control. She took a deep breath. “What time would the last car be leaving?”

Sara knew where this conversation was going and internally groaned. A voice that sounded suspiciously like Amaya was telling her that this was her chance to try for peace with Ava. This was her chance to reach out and let Ava know that she wasn't going to stop trying to help her. 

Everyone needed people in their corner and Sara was determined to make Ava feel like the Sirens could be those people for her. So she put aside her pride and frustration. 

“I wasn’t planning to skip my class either. I’ve got a car so I’ll be going up last to make sure everyone has a ride. I was gonna leave around 6 pm if that would work for you? We can go up together. Maybe get all our arguing out before the weekend begins.” Sara said with a forced smile on her face, trying to lighten the load of offering to ride just the two of them up to the campsite.

Ava visibly grimaced. “Is anyone else going up late Friday?” Sara’s face quickly fell and Ava seemed to catch her misstep quickly. She added, “Not that driving with you wouldn’t be great, thank you for offering, but I’d rather not start our weekend of forced bonding with the two of us at each bickering for a two-hour car ride.”

Sara was trying to push down any annoyance she felt at Ava behaving like it was completely out of her control as to whether they were bickering. As if she wasn’t the one that started every single argument they’ve had so far.

_Think peace. This is for the team._ Sara’s internal dialogue whispered to her. 

“I think we can manage to be pleasant if it’s just the two of us, right? No pressure of other people around or anything happening that would set one of us off.” There was no response from Ava, who still looked unsure about the plan. “Okay, or we could just sit in silence for the whole drive up to Breckenridge if that’s more your style. I’m _very_ comfortable with long silences.” Sara wiggled her eyebrows for effect.

Ava’s expression remained neutral, although her eyes did harden a bit. “I don’t even want to know what that means.”

“Take it how ya want it, babe.”

“See this is why I don’t want to drive for two hours with you. Why do you have to make it weird?” And the frustrated Ava that Sara had become so used to was back. It was Sara’s fault for trying to slip into her casual friendliness that usually worked so well with new people. She should’ve known that Ava would take it the wrong way.

“It was just a joke to lighten the mood a little bit.” Sara sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. “Look, nobody else is going up after two on Friday because Gideon is getting people out of class so you’re either stuck with me and my terrible jokes, or you have to skip class as well. I’ll be on my best behavior, scouts honor.” She held up three fingers, unmistakably mocking the girl scout salute with a friendly smile.

Ava for her part was doing everything in her power not to smile back at the captain. She didn’t want to let her captain start worming her way into her good graces. The less people she let in, the easier it would be to show up and get the work done that was needed. Friends would just get in the way. But it was a little easier for Ava to understand why everyone liked Sara so much when she stopped being an idiot and turned on her charm.

_And that smile._ Damn you, Lance. Ava thought. 

Cursing her parents, not for the first time, for not allowing her to bring her car to campus. “Fine, I guess I can handle two hours in the car with you without arguing.” Sara’s smile only got bigger at the thought of finally making some progress with Ava. “But, if we get there and I’m in a mood because you were being an idiot then I’m throwing you under the bus.”

“I’ll take that.” Sara shrugged, happy enough with the small win to ignore the dig. “I’ll text you Friday then about what time we’re leaving okay?”

“Sounds good. Thanks.” Ava said awkwardly.

Sara ran her fingers through her hair again, somewhat uncomfortable with Ava thanking her. She didn’t know how to deal with the two being on the same page about something for once. “Umm, yeah no problem.” And with that, Ava was out the door.

Sara turned around to see Amaya leaning against the kitchen table with an amused smile on her face and her arms crossed. “I thought you were done trying with her and didn’t want ––”

Sara held up a hand to stop Amaya. “I know what I said, but unfortunately, I’m still the captain of this team and I’m not gonna let a player be stranded. I will give her one more chance.”

“Sure, Sara whatever you say.”

Amaya wasn’t going to push it with Sara tonight, but she was proud of the girl for not giving up just yet. She had hope that the two would figure things out, but she was praying it was sooner rather than later.

\---------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, Zari was sitting in an armchair in the corner of Charlie’s room trying to study. The keyword being _trying_ because Charlie was laying on her bed, not studying, and blasting music.

“Charlie, I thought we were supposed to be studying. I can’t focus when you’re blasting that music.”

No answer from Charlie.

“Charlie!” Zari threw a pillow this time, hitting Charlie square in the head.

Charlie turned her head with scrunched eyebrows. “Oi, what? Why are you yelling?”

“You’re infuriating.”

“What did I do? I was just sitting here.”

“Your music is loud as shit, can you turn it down so I can actually focus.”

“If I wasn’t playing my music, then I would definitely be listening in to whatever conversation Amaya is forcing Sara to have downstairs. I want to know all the good bits without having to comfort her.” 

“Please, we all know what that conversation is. Amaya is going to give Sara logic and reason about why she and Ava should get past whatever weirdness is happening for the better of the team.” Zari said the last part with air quotes, emphasizing the sarcasm in her prediction.

Charlie scoffed. “I’ll tell you what that weirdness is – it’s sexual tension. Those two look like they’re waiting for the right time to rip each other’s bloody clothes off.” 

Zari rolled her eyes. “That’s what you think sexual tension looks like? They haven’t stopped yelling and glaring at each other since the moment that Ava walked onto the field. That’s definitely just plain hate.”

“No bloody way mate. For one, bossy and a little bitchy is Sara’s type. See Nyssa and the hellfire she brought with her as captain for reference. And Ava is too stuck up to realize when someone is into her so instead she gets defensive and snaps back. Just watch how Ava reacts whenever Cap makes a halfway flirty joke. It’s a classic rom-com with those two.”

“I don’t know Charlie, I think that they just but heads. Not everything has to be about sex.” Zari wasn’t convinced. Especially after having to calm Sara down at Nora’s birthday party.

“We’re in our twenties, of course everything is about sex.”

Zari just rolled her eyes. “I’d hardly call being twenty in your twenties but okay.”

“Take right now for example. Here I was trying to focus on my homework and you were so distracted by your unquenchable desire for me that you couldn’t concentrate.” Charlie smirked.

Zari looked wildly unimpressed back at Charlie. “Like I said, you’re infuriating.”

Charlie threw her hands up. “You’re the one that called me hot.”

“Technically I called Amaya hot, and that was during a game of truth or dare after way too much tequila. My options were you, Amaya or Sara. You gotta let that go.”

“Mate, we have the same face. If you think she’s fit, by default you also think I am.”

“You and your weird British slang. Fine, I think you’re _fit_. Happy?”

Charlie couldn’t resist teasing Zari, it was just too easy. She got up off the bed and straddled Zari’s lap, her textbook now long forgotten. She closed her eyes ever so slightly, and dropped her voice an octave. “Come on Z, you know you can do better than that. Tell me what you really think.”

Zari gulped, clearly uncomfortable and unsure what to do with her hands that were hovering above Charlie’s hips, not quite touching the girl. She could feel Charlie’s breath just a little too close to her face. “Uhh— yeah – you’re a super fit and stuff.”

Charlie didn’t break eye contact, but the longer she sat there the more in her head it got. It should feel weird to seduce your best friend, right? Even if it was just playing around? Then why did it feel like it was requiring every ounce of will power that Charlie had not to lean in closer and show Zari exactly how hot she could be.

Suddenly Charlie was jumping off of Zari and laughing, trying to ease the now tension-filled room. “Reckon that would work on this girl in one of my classes? I’ve been thinking about asking her to come over to study for a quiz we have coming up. Hoping it leads to a little biology lesson.” She said, wiggling her eyebrows.

Zari huffed. Of course, Charlie would play it off like that wasn’t weird. “Right, yeah maybe. Worth a shot. Listen, I gotta go. Dinner and stuff ya know? I’ll text you.” And with that she packed up her backpack and left, making sure to avoid eye contact with the other girl.

She was still a little shocked by Charlie sitting on her lap and the 180 she did when it ended. For a second there it felt like maybe Charlie was going to kiss her. Zari wasn’t sure how she felt about that. _Okay_ so she knew exactly how she felt about that, but her head was spinning and she couldn’t be in the same room as Charlie anymore. Not when she was talking about hooking up with some girl and testing her moves out on her. The moves that _definitely_ weren’t working on Zari just a minute ago.

Charlie just sat there and watched her leave. The forced smile and happy mood were no longer necessary. She flopped back on the bed and ran her hands over her face before picking up her textbook and actually beginning to do her homework.

_We can deal with those feelings another day._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so much fun writing that Zarlie scene, and I love them, so hopefully y’all like the glance at their friendship. There will be more small scenes like that scattered throughout so lmk your thoughts on it!
> 
> Sara Lance is a damn martyr for her team and will do whatever it takes to get that championship title. Also, she is so selfless. I don’t think either of those qualities are OOC so hopefully y’all agree with me.
> 
> Also I had that little “scout’s honor” part written before the “assassin’s honor” line from 5.09 (5.10? I can’t remember) but now I love it even more.


	6. Camping Buddies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have somewhat officially now graduated from law school and tomorrow I begin studying for the bar exam so thankfully I have about a 12 chapter lead on myself in this story because I am about to be out of commission for 10 weeks. Kudos & comments will definitely make me smile during this awfulness though! (:
> 
> I. Love. This. Chapter.
> 
> Hopefully you all will too! Enjoy!

Friday rolled around quickly, and Sara and Ava reluctantly piled into Sara’s car with all their camping equipment after classes were finished for the day. To Sara’s relief, they had done so without arguing and actually agreed on what snacks they should get for the ride.

It was a hopeful beginning which quickly dissolved into bickering.

“I don’t wanna listen to some depressing ass podcast about murder for 3 hours. Why can’t we just listen to music?” Sara asked, her tone laced with obvious frustration.

“Because you insist on listening to _pop_.” The distaste was evident in Ava’s voice.

Sara was doing her best to keep her eyes on the road and not send a glare Ava’s way. “What is wrong with pop music?” 

“It’s just _so_ pop.”

“That’s not a reason Ava.” Sara huffed. “Tell me what you would rather listen to. And don’t say a serial killer podcast.”

Ava seemed like she was genuinely thinking. “NPR? They have a great show called _Wait Wait_ _Don’t Tell Me_ that’s just comedians talking about politics and—–”

“Hard pass.”

“I get the feeling we’re not going to agree on anything to listen to.”

Sara sighed, frustrated that her and Ava couldn’t even agree on what they should listen to in the car. She was supposed to be using this time with Ava to get past their disagreement and find common ground to build on.

“We could always try talking.” Sara shrugged as if not expecting Ava to agree.

But, surprising them both, Ava went along with it. “Fine, what do you suggest we talk about?”

Sara, who had been hoping and searching for weeks for an opening to get to know Ava more, was overjoyed at the opportunity. She would start simple and easy. “Okay why don’t you tell me a little bit about your life before you came to CU this year. Obviously, I know you played rugby before and that your parents somehow know Nora’s parents, but I think that’s about it.”

Ava shrugged. She was expecting the question, but wasn’t particularly keen on giving a lot of details about herself. “Not too much to tell. I grew up in Eastern Pennsylvania, was an only child, dads in the military, moms a doctor. I played soccer until college when I found rugby. I was at East Stroudsburg University in Pennsylvania for two years, named captain of the team my second year. Transferred here and that’s about it.”

“Why’d you transfer?” Sara thought it was the next logical question. Why transfer after being named the captain of a good team?

Ava quickly snapped back. “That’s not something I want to talk about.”

“Noted.” Sara quickly switched topics to avoid things getting tense. Or tenser than they already were between them. “How’d you find rugby?”

Ava kicked her feet up onto the front dash, trying to get comfortable as they settled into conversation. “I think, like a lot of people, I played sports growing up pretty competitively and needed an outlet once I got to college and didn’t have it anymore. I was a little lost when school first started and didn’t really want to pick up with soccer after having done it forever. It was more like the rugby team found me at ESU’s activity fair the first week of freshman year.”

Sara smiled, realizing the similarities between Ava’s story and her own experience finding rugby. “I remember that feeling. Although I got bored of soccer a little earlier in life.”

“I wasn’t bored really. I loved soccer, still do. I pretty avidly follow the US national team. But I made the decision not to play soccer in college during the whole scouting phase and I wanted to find something new. I wasn’t looking to reinvent myself or anything, but I thought the change would help with starting fresh.”

“I get that, rugby can be that for a lot of people.”

Sara was a little frustrated she couldn’t look at Ava during the conversation they were having, but also knowing Ava, it was probably making it a little easier for her to have an actual conversation with Sara if she didn’t have to acknowledge who it was she was talking to.

Sara asked another safe question. “Why rugby?”

“How could someone not fall in love with this sport?” Ava just chuckled like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “My dad played for Army when he was in school so I had heard all about the sport growing up and it felt like the right fit for me when I talked to the girls during the activities fair.” 

“So your dad is probably really excited for you then?” Sara was a little jealous just thinking about the possibility of Ava having supportive parents. But she tamped down that feeling as quickly as it came up.

Ava let out another chuckle, this time much drier and laced with sarcasm. “I wish. My parents think rugby is too masculine and a distraction from getting into a good med school. Luckily, they just don’t really ask about it. It’s easier for my mom to pretend that I don’t play at all, and my dad tries but it’s not really in his nature to be overly involved in my life. Although given the chance I definitely think they’d rather ask about rugby than dating.”

“What, the Sharpe’s aren’t fans of your boyfriends?” 

Ava was pointedly looking at Sara like she was an idiot.

“Sara. Boyfriends?”

Sara quirked an eyebrow back. She wasn’t one to make assumptions, but she definitely had her suspicions that she was trying to confirm. “What?”

“I know you’re not that dumb.”

“Thanks jerk.” Sara smiled, a flirty tone accidentally lacing her voice rather than any malice behind her words.

“I know you’re just fishing for information there. I’m obviously not straight.”

Sara would’ve raised her arms in innocence if she wasn’t driving a car. “I wasn’t just going to make an assumption like that, Ava. Plus, you can be not straight and still have boyfriends.”

“Yes, yes, I am fully aware that bisexual is an option, Sara.”

“But not for you?” Ava glared in response. “Just making sure.”

A comfortable silence passed. Sara didn’t know whether it was the anonymity of talking at the road rather than having to look at Sara directly or the relaxed environment of the car, but she had learned more about Ava in the past twenty minutes than she ever thought she would.

Ava honestly seemed relatable and nice. Like a normal college junior that hadn’t spent the past two months pissing Sara off every opportunity that she got.

Enough silence had passed that Sara assumed that would be the end of the conversation, and then Ava continued on with the questions. “So, your turn. Siblings, favorite color, where’d you grow up. Give me the full run down.”

Sara was trying not to show how damn pleased she was with herself for getting Ava talking and the feeling of friendship that was passing between them. “Favorite color is pink, and I grew up outside of Denver with my dad and sister.”

“I could tease you about pink being your favorite color, but I’m gonna be the bigger person here. And rugby?”

“Just to be clear, there is nothing wrong with pink. It’s a very complex color.” Sara smiled wider, amazed at Ava actually joking around with her. “Rugby came into my life very similarly to yours. I found it at a high school activities fair and was absolutely obsessed from the first day.”

“Why’d you pick CU? Did you want to stay close to home?"

Sara laughed a bit to herself at that. Ava raised a questioning eyebrow.

“Yes and no. I love Colorado and didn’t really see a reason to leave. Plus, CU’s rugby team has always been good so I knew it would be a good fit for me. The close to home thing wasn’t really a factor when I was deciding, but it is nice to be able to drive home for holidays and not have to worry about spending money on flights.”

“I chose ESU for similar reasons, although by the end I definitely wished I had chosen somewhere much further from home.”

Sara knew that it wasn’t a comfortable topic for Ava to talk about so she avoided asking any questions about ESU. “I don’t know a lot about the east coast, but you don’t strike me as someone from there.”

Ava seemed thankful that Sara avoided the topic again. “I’m going to choose to take that as a compliment, although I’m not sure I’d classify where I grew up as on the east coast. Always felt more like the Midwest.” 

“How so?”

Ava thought for a second, seemingly taking the question more seriously than Sara would’ve expected. “Everyone was just so nice, but not in a genuine way like the way people are in the south. More so in the way that people do it out of a sense of obligation and god forbid something does upset them, it’s all passive aggressive and repressed. Plus, the town I grew up in still feels like the 1950s sometimes. People dream of 2.5 kids and the white picket fence, there’s just no sense of adventure.”

Sara smiled, mostly at the road so that Ava was still oblivious in her thought bubble. It felt good to be getting along, even if the questions were somewhat trivial and their tone’s still felt timid. They were just getting to know each other and learning to share the space together.

“Ah, yeah I can get that. Well, from a sympathy standpoint at least. Denver has always been a little more progressive. We still have a lot of the Midwest passive-aggressiveness but I never get the sense that people are faking the pleasantries. One of the benefits of living in a melting pot. Plus, we’ve got the mountains.”

“The mountains are definitely pretty.” Ava looked out the window, staring right into the mountains they were driving towards.

“Nice to look at, but even better when you’re in them. After rugby season ends we can take a trip to hike a 14er or do some real camping.”

Ava raised her eyebrow at Sara. “The two of us are going to go hiking together?”

Sara smiled back, understanding that Ava was only kidding.

“I feel like we’ve proven we can get along when it’s just the two of us. We’ve almost gotten through this whole ride with no bloodshed. And we can bring Amaya or Zari as a buffer if we need it.”

“So, you’re a big mountains girl then?” Ava asked.

“You know, this feels oddly like a first date with all these get to know you questions.” Sara said.

Ava released a scoff before she could stop herself.

“Ouch.” Sara said, trying to make a joke, but Ava could tell she was actually a little hurt by her quick dismissal.

Ava tried backtracking in an attempt to recover the light mood they had in the car since they started talking. “Sorry, but after everything that’s happened between us that’s so not gonna happen.” Ava said in what she hoped was a light tone. She didn’t want to hurt Sara’s feelings more than her initial reaction had.

Sara, not reading Ava’s tone as light at all, got defensive. “You know I wasn’t actually asking you out right? It was just a funny observation cause of this small talk we’re doing.”

Now it was Ava that was hurt at Sara's dismissal. She knew it wasn’t rational, especially since she was the one that shot it down first, but it still stung. “The infamous Lance sense of humor striking again. How’s that working for you?”

Annoyed turned into hurt now. Why did Ava always have to do this? Sara couldn’t take it anymore.

“You know what Sharpe? You’re always on me for making it weird between us and talking about our little 'feud' as if I’ve had any say in this relationship, but you’re the one that keeps snapping at me as if I’ve done something personal to attack you, Ava. I’m just trying to be nice and we were actually getting along. Sorry that I ventured away from this little game of 20 questions we’ve been playing to make a joke. I’ve tried everything that I can think of to reach out my hand and try to make nice with you, but you just aren’t having it. Why do you have to make it so difficult to like you?”

Ava just looked down, removing her feet from the dashboard, and stiffening up again. She didn’t know what to say so she stayed quiet, shrinking into herself.

It wasn’t that she was purposefully trying to make it difficult for Sara, or anyone else on the team, to get to know her. But she had her reasons, and she didn’t need to explain them to anyone, especially not Sara. Keeping people at arm’s length was easier and safer. If she never let anyone in then she wouldn’t be disappointed when they left. 

The silence from Ava after her outburst only fueled Sara’s anger more. Sara’s was beyond done with this game Ava was playing. “You know what, we don’t have that much time left before we get to the campsite, so why don’t we just sit in silence instead okay?”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

Sara was upset by how quickly their good conversation took such a bad turn. She wasn’t shocked at how it ended, but it did surprise her how disappointed she was that she wouldn’t be learning anything more about Ava today.

Sara pulled up to the campsite, 25 minutes of silence and brooding later. The team was sitting around a fire surrounded by tents, clearly having all set up their tents when the sun was still up earlier that day.

“Ayyyy Sara and Ava are _finally_ here!” Zari yelled to them when they got out of the car.

“Well you’re unusually happy to see me, what’s up Z? The woods driving you crazy already?” Sara responded, suspicious of her best friend’s happiness.

Zari’s shit-eating grin only got wider. “ _Well_ , oh captain of mine, I’m so glad you asked because Coach here made us all partner up for our weekend tent buddies when we first got here.”

It felt like her whole body sighed. Sara didn’t need Zari to finish, she already knew where she was going. “Which means Ava and I are sharing a tent this weekend.”

Ava’s eyes went wide. “I don’t really think that’s necessary, we both have our own camping gear so we can just sleep separately.”

“Sorry no can do. Coach’s orders. And she made it very clear that there would be no switching, trading, swapping, or getting rid of your partners. Something about ‘everyone needs to get on if we’re gonna win a championship this year.’” Zari said in a British accent, doing her best to sound like Gideon. 

Sara couldn’t help but chuckle after seeing the appalled look on Charlie’s face at Zari’s accent. “Z, how on earth do you spend so much time with Charlie and still have the worst English accent in the world.” 

“It wasn’t that bad!”

Charlie swung her arm around Zari. “Babe, and I say this with all the love of a best friend, that was the worst I have ever heard and I’m gonna need you to never to that again.”

“Whatever. Gideon also said that we’re stuck as _buddies_ the whole weekend with whoever we share with. Sorry guys.” With that Zari and Charlie walked back over to the fire and let the girls figure their shit out.

Sara and Ava just stood there silently, neither really knowing what to say after how their car ride ended and this bomb being dropped on them as soon as they arrived.

It felt like they couldn’t catch a damn break.

Ava figured that it was probably up to her to try and smooth things over, or at the very least, try and show Sara she regretted how she acted. She turned to Sara and spoke with a much more timid voice than Sara was used to hearing from her. “Um, I can set up the tent and everything if you want to hang out with the team. I’ll probably head to bed early and then we can try again tomorrow okay? I don’t want to fight in front of the team and make things worse.”

Sara just nodded, not really having the energy to deal with Ava any more tonight and left her to go sit with the team.

The chatter continued around her. It seemed like everyone was getting along well and happy to be away from campus for a night. Some of the rookies were chatting with upperclassmen and even branching out to talk to players they hadn’t had a chance to interact with much yet.

Sara allowed a rather solemn smile to cross her face. At least Gideon’s plan seemed to be working for some people.

Amaya noticed that Sara seemed a bit out of it. Usually she would be the first to interact with the team and probably start some overly cheesy ice-breaker game. She leaned over to Sara, whispering quietly. “How was the ride?”

“She’s a bitch.”

Amaya decided it was probably best to leave it at that for the night. Whatever happened in the car she clearly wasn’t in the mood to talk about.

Sara decided after a little while of sitting around the campfire that she wasn’t in the mood to chat with everyone so she headed over to the area that Ava had claimed for their tent and crawled inside. Ava was already asleep, and there was more than enough space for two sleeping bags inside the tent. Sara was desperately thankful at the small reprieve. She didn’t think she could take sharing that much personal space with the other girl right now.

She laid down, not bothering to change out of her leggings and sweatshirt, and crawled inside the sleeping bag. After the long drive, Sara was exhausted and happily fell asleep to the sounds of nature.

\------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Two tents over, Charlie and Zari were having a very different experience. After their little blip, as Zari had taken to calling it in her head, things were a little weird between them. Not quite Ava and Sara level weird because at the end of the day they were still best friends. But weird enough that her usually light tone felt heavier and more uncertain.

The two of them had ridden together, leaving early this morning, and making sure to stop for brunch before the long drive. Amaya rode with them as well, which made for a nice buffer between them while they got their feet back around each other.

Zari was feeling … _something_ for her best friend and she wasn’t able to put her finger on it. They had known each other for so long and their friendship had always been out of the normal. It happened quickly and they never looked back. With Sara things had never been so intense or confusing, they were just friends and that was that.

Charlie always felt like she was pushing the boundaries between them. She didn’t know if it was on purpose or some weird subconscious thing she was doing, but the other day seemed like a step too far and Zari didn’t know how to go back.

However, it didn’t seem like Charlie was having the same qualms.

“Z, you are hogging all the bloody blankets.”

“If your freaken feet weren’t so cold maybe I wouldn’t need them all.”

Charlie rolled over to face Zari more. They were practically nose to nose. “If I don’t put my feet on you then I’ll just freeze. You don’t want that.”

Zari flashed back to Charlie sitting in her lap. She scooted back, putting space between their faces. 

Charlie’s eyebrows scrunched. “What? Does my breath stink or something?”

Zari gulped, she hoped silently. “No I, uh, just wanted more space.”

“Since when do you need space from me?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“But you kind of did.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Then what did you say?”

Zari sighed. She wanted to run her hand through her hair and turn away, but they had been dumb enough to think sharing a sleeping bag was a good idea so now she was stuck a foot away from Charlie with nowhere to go. “I just didn’t like you that close to my face.”

Charlie still looked confused, but still backed off for the time being, managing to put a little more space between them in the very small sleeping bag. “Okay Z. Whatever you say.”

But neither of them turned around. The silence and blackness falling heavy on them.

Zari cleared her throat. “What do you think Gideon is going to throw at us tomorrow?”

Rugby was safe territory, something to break the tension that had come between them. “Probably something absolutely bonkers that will somehow fix everything. She’s a bloody magician with these team building activities.”

“We’re gonna need some magic to get to the finals this year I think.”

“Nah, Sara and Ava will figure it out, you watch.” It felt like Charlie was saying more than she meant with her words, but Zari was too tired to read more into it tonight.

She yawned. “I hope you’re right.”

“Yeah, me too.” Charlie whispered under her breath, watching Zari drift off in front of her.

With Zari asleep, Charlie was able to let her cool façade fade and her own worry wandered over her features. She let her thoughts run rampant about her team and the upcoming season, but mostly about Zari, until the exhaustion of the day caught up with her and she drifted off next to her best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lowkey made the Zarlie scene about Ava and Sara, but there’s more to come for them that will be outside of everyone else's drama. 
> 
> Also, I swear that I am not throwing any shade at Pennsylvania. My family is from there and I'm originally from back east but I also love living in Colorado. So while not throwing shade, I am definitely playing favorites.
> 
> This chapter and the next one are two of my favorites from the whole story. I'm hoping the more y'all see of Ava the less awful she seems and I think that's slowly starting to happen here!


	7. Voluntary Bonding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally Ava’s perspective and explanation!! I really hope this lives up to everyone’s expectations! 
> 
> Happy reading!

Sara woke up the next morning with the sun shining brightly in her face and the frigid coldness of the empty tent hitting her back.

As much as Sara usually loved waking up with the sun when she was camping, this morning she was instantly met with an anxious feeling about the day to come. 

She stretched and reluctantly crawled out of the tent to start her day hoping that everyone else would be asleep still and she could sit quietly by the extinguished fire. 

Instead, and rather unsurprisingly, she found Ava.

Sara didn’t think it would help the situation if she crawled back into the empty tent after seeing it was only Ava awake so she took a seat in a chair around the campfire as well. The silence that was so comfortable at certain points during their car ride yesterday was now setting them both on edge.

“How’d you sleep last night?” Sara asked in an almost whisper trying not to wake any of the other girls.

Ava’s face did nothing to hide the surprise she felt at Sara’s attempt to make small talk. “Um, good I guess. A little cold. How about you?”

“About the same.” Sara shoved her hands in her sweatshirt pocket, partly because she was cold and partly because it was something to do that didn’t require eye contact with Ava. 

It would’ve been so easy to sit in silence or pick a fight about how their car ride ended yesterday. 

But Sara knew that their day of team bonding would go smoother for everyone if she made one last effort to get through to Ava. So instead, she picked up her head and nodded towards the trail next to the campsite. 

“I think we should maybe talk about some stuff. Wanna go for a walk so we don’t wake anyone up?”

Ava just nodded and stood up out of her chair. After everything, the captain was still acting like the bigger person, and Ava couldn’t help but feel admiration towards her for it. Admiration mixed with a tinge of anger at herself for making Sara’s life so difficult when the other girl had been nothing but nice to her.

They walked for a couple minutes in silence down a narrow dirt path, both of them trying to collect their thoughts. 

Ava was staring at the trees around her and the bright morning sun, trying to find strength in the peaceful atmosphere. Sara had made the first move every step of the way so far and she knew that today it had to be her. It was her turn to try and tear away her walls, and take the olive branch from Sara. 

So she spoke first, her voice sounding hoarse and laced with the grogginess of just waking up. “I really thought about what you said in the car yesterday and about how I’ve been acting. I wish I had more to say, but … I’m sorry. I’ve been an ass and I know that you haven’t deserved any of it.”

She paused, neither of them saying anything while Ava tried to think of how to summarize how she was feeling without using the word sorry again.

“I’ve been having a hard time with the transfer and adjusting to a new captain and a new team and for whatever reason, you received the brunt of that. It hit me yesterday in the car that I’ve probably been really difficult to be around and be on a team with. None of you guys know me and I haven’t given any of you a reason to try, but everyone, especially you, has been trying anyways. And I think I’m ready to maybe start trying back with the team.”

“Thank you, Ava, really. It takes a big person to apologize. And I’m sorry that it took me snapping at you yesterday for us to get here.”

Sara had felt hopeful hearing Ava apologize. It didn’t make up for the weeks of anger that had been directed at her, but it was something. She wished that Ava was ready to build something between them that wasn’t just for the benefit of the team, but she understood being closed off. She knew there was a lot of work that would need to be done before they would call themselves friends, but they weren’t going to work through all of their issues on this one walk. 

Sara, thinking back to what Amaya said and how she could practically feel the pain of old wounds radiating from Ava, wanted to say more.

“I’m not sure how things worked on your other team, but I promise if you give the Sirens a chance, we’ll grow on you.” 

The ‘and so will I’ wasn’t said, but Ava could tell Sara wanted to include it.

“I’m sure you’re all very lovable.” Ava said, already seeming a bit lighter today than she had in the entire time Sara had known her. “I’ll give it a shot, I promise.” 

Ava took a pause before continuing, contemplating just how much she wanted to share with the other girl right now. Ultimately, she decided that giving it a shot had to start with her giving a little more than she was maybe ready for. “Things at ESU, they— they ended poorly for me. But you asked me why I fell in love with rugby and there was definitely more to the answer than I gave you.”

“Ava you don’t have to explain.” Sara was happy with the progress they had made so far today, she didn’t want to push Ava too far. 

“No, I want to.” She shook her head. “I think I need to for us to really move forward.”

Sara nodded, encouraging Ava to continue if that’s what she wanted, and letting her know she would listen.

Ava cleared her throat. 

“I think, like a lot of people, when I went to college I was so excited to leave home and have a chance to create a version of me that was separate from my parents and soccer and who I was in high school. New people, new places. It felt so fresh and I was so ready for it. And rugby … rugby opened the door to a world that I didn’t even know existed. The parties and the drinking were new, but even more than that, these women who were so confident and knew exactly who they were in the world and what they wanted. It was mesmerizing. I didn’t have a lot of that growing up, and my mom, even as accomplished as she is, has always been very insistent that I had to be a doctor to make something of myself and the only way to earn respect was through a career and money. But then there was this whole team of women that had respect for themselves and each other. It made me fall in love with the sport and the idea that I could become just like them one day. Rugby gave me a new perspective on life that has given me everything and pushed me to grow into a better person.”

Ava took a couple of seconds of silence as they continued to walk. Sara stayed quiet, waiting for her to continue.

“Rugby didn’t come naturally to me at first. I had a hard time grasping a lot of the rules and I was so adjusted to just understanding soccer that pushing myself outside of my comfort zone and learning a new sport was tough. But there was this girl that lived across the hall from me freshman year, Anna, and she tried out for rugby too and we just clicked instantly. And rugby came so naturally for her, and she helped me with it a lot. We did everything together after that first tryout and it felt so good to have a friend like that. I moved around a lot as a kid because of my dad being in the military so I didn’t have a ton of friends, but between Anna and ruby it felt like I was finally coming into my own.”

Sara wanted so badly to reach out and grab the other girl’s hand as they walked, but she didn’t know how it would be received and she didn’t want to interrupt Ava’s train of thought when it was clearly still hard for her to talk about this.

“That first year was so great. Our team didn’t have the best record or anything, but I left campus feeling like I was proud of who I had become and that little family I had become a part of. Sophomore year, Rip, our coach, named me captain. It was kind of a shock since I was still so new to the sport and there were a lot of upperclassmen who would’ve done a good job. But Rip said he had faith in me, so I accepted and knew that I would do my absolute best to live up to his faith in me. The team was surprisingly receptive to it and the fall season went off without a hitch. I was still doing well in my classes and balancing rugby. I thought, okay, spring semester is gonna be awesome. What could go wrong ya know?”

The urge to reach out and comfort Ava only grew as Sara watched her struggle. This woman who had been nothing but strong and stubborn was now obviously holding back a wave of emotion. Sara wanted so badly to let her know this was a safe place to let it out so she could embrace it and deal with it. 

She grabbed Ava’s hand lightly and pulled her to a stop so that she could look at Sara and hopefully find confidence to continue.

“But at the beginning of that spring semester, in some stupid scrimmage against a local team, Anna got a really bad concussion. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, just an open field tackle gone wrong. Usually, it would just be a hazard of the game and she’d leave the field and see a trainer to take care of it. No big deal. But, for whatever reason, this one was worse than usual and she ended up in the hospital after the game. Rip wouldn’t let anyone go with her to the hospital, he just sent our equipment manager with her and told us to keep playing. Rip was a good coach and someone that we trusted plus Anna was conscious and telling us she’d be fine, so we listened, kept playing the game, and when it ended I went to the hospital to see her, and they let her out that night. Everything seemed fine. She watched a couple practices and then, like a week later, was gearing up to play our next game.

Sara looked at Ava with concern because anyone who had ever had a concussion knew that it took longer than two weeks to recover. Especially with one bad enough to send you to the hospital in the middle of a game.

“My expression was basically the same as yours right now when I found out. I asked Anna why she was coming back so soon, and who cleared her, and whether she was ready. She just shrugged it off and told me that the team needed her. I didn’t want her to push things. This was her brain you know? It’s not like she pulled a muscle at practice and was milking it. So, I went to Rip and told him that I didn’t think Anna was ready to play yet. As captain, I thought he’d value my opinion and hear me out. But, it turned out that Rip was the one forcing Anna to come back, because he thought a week was already too much time off and he thought that I was being selfish and putting my best friend above the team’s chance of winning.”

Ava paused again, letting what she just said sink in.

“I was furious. I went to the athletic department at the school and told the trainers what was going on. I wasn’t going to let Rip risk the health of the players for a rugby game. No matter how much I love to win, that’s not worth it. But the rest of the team didn’t agree. Rip got fired when the school found out what was happening. Anna had to take a semester off of school to recover, and ended quitting the rugby team as well so that she could focus on studying. The girls on the team blamed me for getting Rip fired and Anna leaving. Said that I cost them the season. As if that was more important than the health of someone that was supposed to be their friend. I applied to transfer right after that. I could’ve stuck it out and tried to rebuild things with the team. They were my family for 2 years ya know? But they made it clear that I wasn’t welcome on the team anymore.”

Sara took a minute. She was appalled at the idea of anyone driving someone to quit a sport they loved or forcing someone to play through a concussion. But Ava didn’t need her to be angry right now, she needed her to be supportive.

“Ava. I am so sorry that happened to you. I need you to know that something like that would never happen on our team. Everyone’s health comes first. But more importantly, I need you to know that we would never treat you or anyone else like that. I know trusting a new team feels like a lot right now after being practically run out by people you thought were your family, but I promise the Sirens are better than that. If you let us, we can try and show you that.”

Ava sighed. “I know that, I do. Nothing about the Sirens has felt like my old team. It’s just taking more out of me than I’d care to admit to be around another team so soon after. I’ve gone back and forth between blaming myself for not trying harder to rebuild things with the team and just being angry that they treated me like some outsider that purposely ruined the team. But mostly it just hurt. I thought I had found my place and people that cared about me. It shattered a lot of faith I had in ever fitting in. And I’m sorry it got taken out on you and affected the way the team was working together. I think what you said yesterday, about being difficult to like, really made me think about what I’ve been like since we got here. I moved here to get a fresh start from all of that and I don’t want to be the person driving a wedge in the team anymore.”

“I won’t say that taking your anger out on me and the team was the best way to handle things, but I absolutely don’t blame you for feeling that way. Learning to trust us will definitely be a process, but I think we can get there together.” Sara smiled, knowing that now was not the time to press it. No matter how difficult Ava had been, nobody deserved to be treated like that by a group of people they trusted. 

The two walked in silence for a bit longer, not having more to say on the topic right now. 

The trail had taken them back towards the campsite and when the tents were in their sights, Sara tried to lighten the mood. “I’d say that we’ve earned some breakfast after that, let’s get back to camp and wake these ladies up. I believe we have some bonding to do.”

Ava faltered a little bit before following Sara back to the camp. She had surprised Ava this morning with how understanding she was and how mature she was being about forgiving Ava. She expected Sara to push back more and blame Ava for being dramatic or wrong with the way she felt. 

But she hadn’t. Instead she was understanding and made Ava feel validated in her feelings.

After Sara blew up at her in the car, Ava spent a lot of time just thinking before bed and this morning before Sara had woken up. She wasn’t quite ready to jump in head first to friendship and a new team, but she realized she needed to cut Sara some slack. She was doing her best to be friendly and she didn’t deserve her snapping. After the chat just now, Ava knew she made the right decision and was cautiously excited to see how things progressed now that she was making a conscious effort to become part of the team rather than just going through the motions.

She knew it wasn’t going to be easy, trusting again and putting herself out there with another team, but the Sirens seemed like a family worth trying for.

Back at the camp, everyone had started to stir a bit as more and more people got up and were moving around. Helena, a junior on the team that honestly scared Ava a bit, was in charge of cooking breakfast as Gideon set up a circle of chairs with what looked like note cards on them.

After the girls seemed done eating, they headed over to Gideon to get started on her ‘mandatory team bonding’ activities.

“Alright ladies. So we all have our buddies right?” Gideon was met with murmurs, some sounding much less enthused about their partners than others. “Great, so each pair is going to grab two chairs and a set of flashcards. The chairs are pointed at each other so you have to face your partner, and the set of cards I made last night based on something I think you and your partner need to work on. Some of them are just getting to know one another while others may be focused on trust, friendship, or understanding.”

Ava and Sara looked hesitantly at each other, feeling better about the task at hand than they would have a couple of hours ago, but still hesitant as to what Gideon was going to give them.

Sara looked around the group and noticed some interesting pairings: Zari and Charlie, Alex and her sister Kara, and Amaya and Nora. She was curious what each category of questions each pair got and how each group was going to navigate it.

Sara turned back towards Ava and picked up her cards. Flipping through them, it seemed like their topic was going to be understanding.

Sara cleared her throat. “What do you think makes your partner happy about the Sirens?”

“I have to answer for you?” Sara nodded, confirming that Ava was going to have to take a guess. “Okay, well I would say your friends probably make you happy.”

“I guess that’s technically true.” Sara answered, deciding that now was the time to open up to Ava and really dig deep. Ava had opened up this morning and Sara felt like this first answer was going to set the tone to continue building upon it. “But I would say there’s a lot more to it than that. Rugby has been my safe place for so much of my life. I never feel judged or out of place when I’m on the field. And the Sirens especially have become a family for me. I would say it’s more than just friendship and the people, but how the sport gives me hope and comfort.”

Ava just tilted her head and stared at Sara. Her answer wasn’t what she was expecting at all, but she guessed that was the point of the activity. The more they opened up and were honest, the better the exercise was going to work.

Grabbing the cards from Sara, she read off the next one. “What do you think your partner is most nervous about this season?”

Sara took a second to really think about it before answering. “I would say you’re most nervous about having a new team.”

Ava sighed. They already covered a lot of this, so technically Sara was wrong, but she could elaborate a bit. “Yes, but I think it’s less about the team and more so that I’m nervous to be hurt and alone again.”

Sara leaned forward, obviously wanting to reach out and comfort the other girl but not wanting to cross any boundaries. “I’m not sure that I’m supposed to respond to your answers, but I hope we’re doing an okay job of easing that a little bit. If there’s any way that we can help with that process, I want you to know you can talk to me, or Amaya, or Nora about it and we can do whatever it takes. Everyone should feel comfortable.”

A soft expression crossed Ava’s face. She was grateful for Sara in this moment. It seemed that she was full of surprises today and really living up to the ‘understanding’ aspect of the exercise. “I really appreciate that Sara. I’ll keep it in mind.”

Sara was trying not to fidget under the look that Ava was giving her. It was different than she had seen from the girl before and it was making Sara a bit nervous. “Umm I’ll ask the next question.”

Sara and Ava continued going back and forth, each questioning hitting a little deeper than the last. Sara had to commend Gideon for coming up with questions that were so effective at getting them to open up and work towards more understanding.

She looked down at the cards now back in her hands, a little nervous to get Ava’s answer to the next question. “What do you think your partner's first impression of you was?”

Ava tried to remember back to that first day on the fields when they ran into each other, cringing at the memory of how rude she was. “I can’t imagine it was a good first impression. I’d have to say you probably thought I was kind of a bitch.”

Sara smiled despite the memory, trying to ease Ava’s worries. “I think my legitimate first thought when you walked up to me was ‘damn her legs are toned’ since that was kind of all I could see.” Sara responded with more of a flirty smirk, her usual confidence oozing through, “But after that I was mostly just intrigued by who you were and where you came from.”

Ava, for what felt like the 100th time today was shocked at something Sara said. She definitely didn’t expect Sara to have anything positive to say about her, and couldn’t help but blush at the compliment. Choosing to ignore it, she instead asked “You were intrigued by me?

Faced with another choice of how honest Sara wanted to be, she decided why not lay it all out there. “Well yeah, of course I was. An incredibly beautiful woman that I had never seen before walked onto my rugby field like she owned the place and then showed up at practice completely unafraid to show up senior players and tell me  _ exactly _ what she thought of me. How could I not be intrigued by that?”

Now Ava’s whole face was red and she was unable to hide how embarrassed she was to hear any of that from Sara. How could Sara think so highly of her, even in hindsight, after all the unnecessary fighting that Ava had caused?

Before Ava could respond, Gideon interrupted. “Okay, enough of that! Let’s circle up so we can all chat as a team.” Everyone moved their chairs so they were in one big circle with Gideon in the middle. “I trust everyone learned a little bit about the woman sitting across from them? I know some of you have been playing together for a long time, or consider yourselves good friends outside of this team, but we sometimes forget that rugby is about more than just the sport. In order to really succeed, you have to care about the person next to you and be able to predict how they’re going to move or react in the middle of high intensity situations. This sport is different than so many others because the teamwork component is bigger and more crucial to a team’s triumph. With graduation, transfers, new incoming students, and the growth that each one of you will experience every year, it’s good to check in with the people around you and make sure you’re still connecting.”

A solemn, thoughtful moment passed through the group as Gideon’s words washed over them.

After Gideon felt it passed, she slapped her legs and stood up. “Enough of the melodramatics now. I brought a whole stash of nerf guns with me so split yourselves into two teams and let’s play some capture the flag!”

The girls cheered, happy to be past the heart-to-heart portion of the weekend and onto the teamwork building activities. They decided to split their circle equally in half and quickly, everyone dispersed into the woods.

Sara was on a team with Amaya, Nora, Alex, and a couple of the girls known as the “amazons” because of their crazy abilities on the field. Her and Alex teamed up and found a good spot to hide. Everyone on the team knew not to mess with these two, so they were assigned the team’s last line of defense before the flag.

“Sisterly bonding time go well?”

Alex chuckled. “Kara and I should not have been allowed to be paired up.”

“Couldn’t agree more Danvers. Next time we can switch.”

Alex, knowing it was probably going to be a while before anyone came across them, couldn’t help but ask about her and Ava. “How did the bonding go with you and Sharpe? There was no yelling that I could hear so didn’t seem too bad.”

“Unexpectedly. We were both a little more honest than I think we would’ve been outside of a team bonding environment. It was nice to understand her a little bit more.”

Alex took her eyes off the woods to smirk at Sara. “Sounds like maybe things could heat up between you and our newbie.”

“In your dreams Danvers. We’re just both trying to get a long more for the team.”

“Right, for the team.”

“Would you shut up and keep your eyes peeled for the other team.” Why did the subject of her and Ava keep coming up? They needed to work on being friends first before they even thought about anything more than that. Not that it was on the table anyway.

Alex laughed. “Touchy, touchy Lance. Not doing much to make me think it’s not on your mind already.”

“We’re teammates Danvers and that’s it. All we’ve done is fight what makes you think that’s even a possibility? Plus, we have a rule against it.”

Alex heard a rustling in the bush nearby and her and Sara both jumped to attention. “Not dropping this, but seems like it’s time to put on our game faces.”

They quickly spotted two members from the other team and easily took them out with nerf bullets to the thigh. Not long after, Amaya and Nora yelled that they captured the other teams flag and the game was over.

The team huddled up for lunch around the campfire with Helena in charge of cooking again and continued chatting. After lunch brought them more of the same, with a cheesy team building activity involving the girls twisting themselves out of a giant human knot and more get-to-know-you icebreaker questions. By the time that night fell, everyone was exhausted and quickly fell asleep.

Sunday morning came faster than many of the Sirens were hoping, even with the mandatory team bonding, it was still better than the homework waiting for them back on campus. They woke up early to pack up and eat a quick snack before heading back to campus. Unfortunately, most of them had to get homework done and run errands before another busy week began.

Everyone switched around cars a bit for the drive back down so that they could be with other friends, or people that made more sense based on where they lived. Sara was thankful for Ava being able to go with Nora rather than pushing their luck with another long period of time together in the car.

Sara felt like something had started to shift this weekend between the team, but especially between her and Ava. As they piled back into their cars, Ava caught Sara’s eye and gave her a knowing nod. They might not be leaving best friends, but at least they know they can get along now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m lowkey v nervous I built up too much hype around Ava’s past and this won’t live up to what y’all expected but I hope it still explained a bit of why Ava’s been acting the way she has. There's still more to come about her obviously but I think this is a good start.
> 
> Also, Alex Danvers is my favorite DCU character, second only to Sara Lance, so you’re gonna see a lot of her in this story.


	8. Saturdays a Rugby Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone that continues to comment, they bring me so much joy you have no idea!
> 
> Here we go, the first game of the season! I’m not going to go into too much detail about the actual mechanics of the game, because its complicated af if you've never played it but also because I don't know that I would be able to write it well. BUT if y'all feel like you’d like to see that at some point let me know and I can definitely work more of a game into the future chapters!
> 
> Also, I’m making up a team here because I could not for the life of me figure out CU’s actual schedule, and also, it’s more fun when I can take creative liberties sooo roll with it.
> 
> I still don’t own LoT, sad. Happy reading!

The tentative friendship between Sara and Ava, and the overall positive vibes that came from the camping weekend carried into practices for the next week, and seemingly rubbed off on the rest of the team. Nora had dragged Ava to a few more team functions, and the vibes were lighter at practice, with more and more people feeling comfortable with Ava around.

Ava and Sara haven’t spoken much off the field, but on the field, they found a groove together like they’d been friends forever. The camping trip was the final piece the team needed for everything to come together. And finally, it was time for the first game of the actual season. Of course, it was against their biggest rival, the Arizona Sandstorm.

Sara was walking into the Sirens locker room, obviously the first one there, thinking about their game today. Arizona was big, fast, and strong as hell. The Sirens were a top-notch rugby team, if their past record was anything to go by, but Arizona had size on them and in rugby, the bigger the girl the harder she was to tackle. Which meant they were in for one hell of a game.

“Lance! Ready for today?” Alex yelled as she walked into the locker room on game day. Alex played on the other side of Ava in the backline and her position required a lot of tackling – both receiving and giving. Which was perfect for her because if there was one thing that the team knew about Alex, it was that she loved the contact aspect of rugby.

“Hell yeah I’m ready Danvers.” Sara yelled back. “First Saturday of the season. It’s like a freakin holiday.”

“Woo-hoo!” Kara joined in, following her sister into the locker room. Alex and Sara both cracked a smile at the girl. “I’m so excited! My first college rugby game! I hope we win!”

Kara had been a walking ball of sunshine from the second she stepped onto the field, which is why everyone found it confusing when she tried out for fullback. Generally, the fullback was the player that made the biggest and most important tackles. They had to hit hard and have the confidence to take on anyone, at any moment in the game. They were also the powerhouse commander, dropped behind the rest of the team and yelling out commands for all 80 minutes. It was similar to a sweeper in soccer, or safety in football. 

So when the happy-go-lucky younger Danvers sister stepped into the role and completely transformed her personality, the team was shocked. But she made a hell of an impression and easily walked away from the first practice as the Siren’s new starting fullback.

Sara raised her eyebrows at Kara, giving her signature smirk that radiated confidence. “Oh, we’re gonna win little Danvers. Don't you worry.”

Alex yelled back. “I hope your rousing pre-game speech is better than that Lance cause I wanna kick some Arizona ass today!”

Sara rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help get a little pumped up at Alex and Kara’s excitement over the game today. Of course she was excited, but keeping a calm head was important. “Don’t you worry Danvers, I’ll have this room vibrating with excitement when I’m done.”

“Oh, I’m sure you will.” Alex said with a wink.

Kara groaned. “Ew, Alex! Why do you have to make it gross?”

Alex and Sara just laughed and shook their heads at Kara.

“You know I’m always asking Sara the same thing, maybe I should be blaming Alex for it instead.” Ava said, walking up behind Kara with Nora.

Alex, reading Ava in a way that Sara hadn’t yet mastered, responded to her playfully. “Please Sharpe, you know you love me.” 

Sara noticed a certain familiarity in the tone between Ava and Alex. It made Sara wonder just how much time the two of them had spent getting to know each other off the field. It didn’t settle well with her that she had clearly missed one of her closest friends bonding with Ava. She wasn’t sure if it was about the people involved or if it just made her feel even guiltier about the weeks of animosity that prevented Ava from finding her footing like she had now. 

Sara, despite the anxiety forming a pit in her stomach at the thought, tried to keep the mood light. “I thought you were on my side Danvers, you can’t team up with them against me.”

“Aw don’t be jealous Lance, you know you’re still my favorite angry blonde.” Alex chimed in.

Ava put a hand over her heart to mock hurt. “And after all that time we spent together teasing Nora.”

Sara raised an eyebrow at that.

Nora rolled her eyes. “As fun as that was, you were supposed to be helping me with my homework Danvers, not goofing off with my roommate.”

Alex shrugged. “More fun to make fun of you with Ava than try to learn organic chemistry.”

The girls each went back to getting ready for the game as the locker room slowly filled up with the rest of the team. Most girls walked in with headphones on, just giving a nod to the other players around them. Soon it would be Sara’s job to bring them in and rile them up before they headed out for warm ups.

Gideon always required that they got to the locker room early on game day. Sara thought it was mostly to ensure that everyone was actually there on time, but Gideon also loved the intimidation factor.

A single file line of Sirens in all black warm ups, heads down, and focus on their faces walking towards their bench in silence definitely had an impact.

Sara stood on a bench and yelled “me, me, me, me, me.”  The only way to get a room full of rugby girls’ attention. Immediately every player was silent and facing their captain.

“Alright ladies, first game of the season! How we feeling?” Sara’s question was met by the deafening screams of her teammates. “That’s what I like to hear! As you all know, today we’re playing our division rivals. And as much as I would  _ love _ to absolutely smash them, they’re a good team and they’re gonna put up a good fight.” This time the locker room was filled with boos from her teammate.

Sara smirked, and continued on. “Which  _ means _ we need to come out ready to play. It’s time to focus in and really bring our best. We’ve been crushing it at practice this past week and I want to see all of that on the field today. Forget about who we’re playing, forget about all the bullshit during pre-season, forget about anything that’s not on this field in front of us today. Let’s play our game and show them that we’re the best team in the nation.” Sara smirked before jumping into their chant. “And why are the Siren’s the best team in the nation?”

“Cause we work til the very last breath!” The team yelled back, full of pre-game adrenaline.

“What was that ladies? I can’t hear you!”

“We work until our very last breath!”

Feeling that the team was sufficiently riled up, Sara yelled “Alright lets fucking get after it ladies! Single file line on Gideon, lets head out.”

————————————————————————————————

Sara won the coin toss and the Sirens started the first half with the ball. For all the hype in the locker room surrounding this first game, the Sirens came out level headed and ready to show the Sandstorm how prepared they were for the season.

It made Sara, and Gideon, very proud.

Right from the first kickoff, the Sirens handled things well and set the tempo for the first half. As a team they made very few mistakes in their ball handling or defense. The team was gelling together well and the Sandstorm was on their heels trying to defend the flawless offense that Sara and Ava managed to put together.

Alex scored the first try, diving into the try zone after finding a hole in the line. The second try came from Zari, taking the outside corner and out running Arizona’s fullback with ease. And the 3 penalty points, as well as both conversions, came off a kick from Sara. The Sirens were going into half-time leading 17-3 and the mood was high.

Sara pulled Ava to the side before huddling up with the rest of the team. “Sharpe, remember that play I drew up? Let’s use it on them in the second half. I think we can teach it to the line during half time and really shake things up. We’re already ahead, why not have some fun with it?”

Ava took a second to think, and reluctantly, Ava admitted she was right. This play could definitely work here and the risk was low with their lead. “Okay, let’s go for it. We’ll get the girls together after Gideon is done talking and go over it. Arizona will never know what hit them.”

Sara smiled and clapped Ava on the back, happy to be on the same page with the other girl.

The girls took the field to start the second half. Ava took the kick off, giving the Arizona forwards the ball, but after a quick tackle from Alex and a strong ruck from one of the seniors in the pack, the Sirens had the ball back in their hands in the Sandstorm’s half. Ava look quickly to Sara and nodded, giving the signal for the play that they have aptly named popcorn. Ava yelled “POPCORN” to her team as she received the pass from Sara, triggering Nora to widen the gap between her and Alex, and Kara shifting behind Sara.

Ava then popped the ball to Alex, while Sara quickly ran around the outside of Alex, dragging her defender with her. Just as she was on Alex’s left hip, Alex popped the ball over to Sara who then quickly passed it back the outside of Ava where Kara was running full speed on to the ball, finding an open hole in the defense and running smoothly into the try zone.

The girls cheered as five more points were tacked on to their score, including Ava and Sara who were enthusiastically high-fiving. “I can’t believe that worked.” Ava said.

“I told you it would! Our girls are definitely ready for anything. We’re like a well-oiled machine.”

Ava was a little more hesitant about pushing the tentative peace on the field too far too fast. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. We’re playing well, but we’ve still got a lot of game to play.”

It was easy to get excited and loose focus after pulling a play that Sara had spent so long creating, but Sara nodded, trying to regain her composure before running over to grab the ball from the Sir for the 2-point conversion, which she easily made.

The rest of the game went much like the first half, with the Sirens easily controlling the ball and the game. Arizona did pick it up, scoring another 10 points, but the Sirens had already run away with the game. Final score 27-13.

“Okay, okay. Ladies, great job today.” Gideon said to the girls as the kneeled in a circle around her. “I’m happy to see that our preseason work has paid off and we came away with the win! I won’t say too much – be prepared for a film session on Tuesday and have a good time at the social! I’ll turn it over to Captain Lance now.”

Sara hopped up on to the bench so all eyes were on her. “Ladies! Thank you all so much for showing up today, I cannot tell you how happy it made me to see you all kicking butt out there. But enough about the game, onto the drinking festivities, right?” Sara was met with cheers from the team.

“We’ll be hosting Arizona tonight, as per tradition, at Chop Shop. Booze, songs, and some good times. Remember the rules – nobody cross the line with drinking and we can all keep having fun. I’ll see you all at my place and no showering! If you’re a rookie and you don’t know the rules, ask an upperclassman.” Sara hopped off and walked over to collect her stuff. There’s a lot to get done in the next hour so that the house was ready.

Kara found everything happening very overwhelming and pulled her sister aside to figure out what was going on. “Alex! What’s happening? Social? No shower? Help!”

Alex laughed at her sister. “Deep breaths Kara. Post-game social, it’s a rugby tradition where the home team hosts the visiting team. It just means we throw a party for them and they crash on our couches tonight. We don’t shower so that the other team doesn’t feel awkward since they obviously can’t go home and shower before the party. Other than that, it’s just a normal party at Chop Shop.”

“But I smell, that’s gross what happens if I shower?”

“Well if you shower, then Sara will pour a beer on your head and make you dirty again sooo.”

“What? That’s so unfair.”

Alex knew her sister was a little riled up and tried to calm her down. First game as a rookie could be overwhelming. “Just tradition sis, if there’s a legitimate reason that you need to shower then that’s fine, but you’re just going to have to be sticky like the rest of us. I promise nobody even notices. It’s all just part of the fun.”

Kara huffed. “Fine. I guess it can be kind of fun.”

“That’s the spirit! Come on, I’m in charge of grabbing the beer, you can help me carry it.”

Sara already had tables set up and music going when Alex and Kara walked in with the keg. Sara pointed to the corner of the room for Kara to set it up in. The other team went to get lunch, but would be coming back to chop shop soon to get the party started.

“Danvers.” Sara greeted Alex.

“Lance.”

“Good game today. Happy to have beaten Arizona at least once in my four years here.”

“Obviously my superior captaining is to thank.” Sara joked.

Her and Alex, although they were both up for captain last year, had a good friendship. Alex had accepted that Sara was the best move for the team, and she was happy one of her friends had gotten the position.

“Sure Lance, whatever you need to tell yourself.”

Sara just chuckled. “Ready for the party? Anyone you got your eye on yet?”

Alex mocked offense. “Oh come on now, you know I’ve grown up from hitting on all the girls at the social.”

Sara just raised an eyebrow. “Right cause you’re happily waiting for that girl in your business class to realize she’s in love with you.”

“Don’t start with me on that, I get enough of it from Kara. If I happen to sit in the back and stare at her, that’s my business.”

“As if you didn’t just take that class because the business girls always pique your interest. Remember that fancy business heiress you were drooling over last year?”

“I did not drool! She was stupid hot and she had an Irish accent, it wasn’t my fault. I was useless to her powers.”

“You and every other girl on this campus. Even your supposedly straight sister turned into a useless puddle when she came to visit and you guys ran into her at that party.”

Alex laughed at the memory of her sister literally tripping over herself when Lena approached them at a party. Alex had definitely kept her cool and not spilled a drink on herself and used Kara as an excuse to run away.

“And what about you miss no dating teammates? Does that rule apply to our opponents as well?”

Sara ignored the dig at her rule and jokingly glared at Alex. “Even if anyone on the other team did spark my interest, I don’t really want to cross the line with the other team either. Always makes things awkward when we play the next time around.”

“Sure sure. And this has nothing to do with the weird tension growing increasingly more sexual between you and Ava?”

“Danvers, I told you last week that there’s nothing between me and Ava. I don’t know what part of constantly arguing is coming off as sexual tension to you.”

“And I told you that I wasn’t dropping it, so this is me not dropping it. Come on Sara, it’s just me. What’s up with you two? Nobody gets under each other’s skin like that without there being at least something there. Fine line between love and hate, and all that jazz.”

Sara sighed. Alex was a good friend, and also apparently a persistent one. “I was telling the truth, there’s nothing going on. I’m still just working on getting her to trust me as a teammate and hopefully eventually as a friend.”

Alex remainder unconvinced. “One, as a former victim of the Lance charm, there’s not a person on this planet capable of resisting it once it’s turned on. Trust me. And two, all I just heard from that response was you totally have a thing for her but it’s one sided.”

Sara rolled her eyes, but definitely kept a flirty smirk in place. “Victim is a bit of a stretch there Danvers, I seem to recall you being an active participant.”

Alex was doing her best not to get sidetracked by Sara’s flirting. “Active participant or not, I stand by what I said. And unless you want to cross that line with me again, you should probably turn that charm down just a notch.”

“You’re no fun.” She lightly shoved Alex’s shoulder. They had long since moved past that possibility and they both knew it.

“I am tons of fun. But I know you’re just using your flirting as a distraction cause you don’t want to talk about Ava anymore.”

Sara sighed again. “Okay fine you’re right. But there’s nothing between me and Ava. If there ever is, which I want to emphasize again that there isn’t, I promise I will be the first to tell you that you were right.”

“I’ll be waiting for that day.”

Kara stumbled up to Alex and Sara and put her arms around them both, pulling them away from the Ava conversation for good. “GUYS, this is so fun! Does this happen every game? Rugby is great. I love this sport. And I love you guys.”

Alex couldn’t help but smile at her sister’s good mood. “Glad you’re having fun sis. What have you been up to?”

“Slap cup! I’ve been playing with the other team, but I’m not very good at it so I maybe drank a lot of the cups. Now I’m taking a break cause I don’t want to be that freshman ya know?”

Sara laughed with Alex now. Drunk Kara was somehow happier and had more energy than sober Kara. But she was proud that the freshman were taking her rules seriously.

Sara walked away from the sisters and grabbed her water bottle. It was always easier not to drink at these things if she had some type of drink in her hand. While filling up at the sink, she overhears some of the girls on the other team talking about Ava.

“Did you see her on the field? She looked fucking good. And those legs.” The Arizona player says to one of her friends. Sara thought she looked like one of the girls from the backline, but it was always hard to place the players off the field. It was obvious that they were talking about Ava, and Sara felt a little weird overhearing it.

“Why don’t you just go talk to her dude?” Her friend encouraged.

Apparently not needing very much convincing, the girl took her friend’s advice and walked right up to Ava. Sara just continued watching from her spot leaning up against the counter.

Sara wasn’t sure what Ava was saying back to the Arizona player. She seemed flattered, but not into it based on the body language. Sara watched Ava point over towards Nora with a smile, sending the girl off in that direction.

Sara’s curiosity got the better of her and she walked over to Ava. “Not into short blondes Sharpe?”

Sara was happy to see that Ava smiled, taking her comment as a joke rather than Sara trying to push her buttons.

“Oh no, I definitely am.” Ava says with enough confidence to knock the smirk off Sara’s face. Not that Ava wasn’t usually confident, but Sara was expecting her to be a little more bashful about her dating life for some reason. “But she came on a little strong, plus she was a little drunk.”

“Why send her Nora’s way? Last I checked Nora was crushing on Ray and also definitely straight.”

“Mostly for entertainment. Nora gets hilariously uncomfortable when she gets hit on. Watch.”

The two turn their attention towards Nora just in time to hear, “I – um – am flattered, but, uh, not really into that.” Nora quickly looks over to Ava and Sara laughing, undoubtedly knowing that she had Ava to thank for this.

Sara turned back to Ava. “Ava Sharpe messing with her friends. How unexpected.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me Sara.”

_ And a lot I’d like to find out _ . Sara thinks to herself as Ava walks over to Nora, still laughing.

The rest of the party continues on uneventfully. Songs are sung, games are played, and pizza is ordered. Eventually all the Arizona girls start passing out on random couches in Chop Shop, or next door, as Nora and Ava also volunteered for hosting duty.

They’re all gone by the time the girls wake up the next morning.

Sara is sitting at the kitchen table when Charlie comes downstairs.

“Morning. Coffee is made.”

“Thanks mate. How was your night?”

Sara shrugs. “Rode the high from winning all night and none of our girls drank too much, so I’m a happy captain this morning. How are you?”

“Bloody hungover. Can’t tell if the headache is from drinking or if I’m just dehydrated from the game yesterday.”

“Probably both dude. Drink some water and take it easy today.”

“Aye aye captain. I’m headed to breakfast with Z, I’ll see ya later.” Charlie filled a to-go mug with coffee and was out the door.

Sara took the rest of her Sunday easy. She went for a quick run to workout the lactic acid that built up from the game yesterday, finished her homework, and got ready for the week ahead.

Another game this upcoming weekend meant another week of business as usual. The team, now with one game under their belt, easily fell back into the routine after the weekend. Practice continued smoothly, with Ava and Sara still biting each other’s heads off at practice, but now with much less malice and much more teasing. Sara felt like the team had a good chance to build on their momentum.

Somehow, someway, they had pulled things together. With some luck, the Sirens may actually pull off a winning season after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rugby socials are truly SO fun. No rugby songs in this chapter, but don't worry they'll make an appearance in the future. Also I LOVE Alex and Sara, and I love love love them together but here they’re just gonna be bros in this story.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts (:


	9. Tutoring for friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a warning that Sara and her dad aren't really going to be on the best of terms in this fic. This isn't the most lighthearted chapter, but hopefully this, and the legends in general, are bringing some smiles to everyone's faces right now.
> 
> Enjoy!

Classes had been in full swing for a couple of weeks now. When Sara wasn’t busy playing rugby, dreaming of rugby, or brainstorming new ideas for rugby, she could be found pulling her hair out in the library over some books.  
  
Sara walked into her English classroom, purposely at the last minute, and sat down in her seat near the back of the classroom. It wasn’t that Sara didn’t like class, but it was harder for her than most of the other students so sitting in the back usually got her through the semester without her professors really knowing her name or her face. Plus, she was a whole lot less likely to get called on if the professor could barely see her.  
  
But none of that was going to save her today, she thought as the professor approached her desk. “Miss Lance, could you come speak with me in my office after class today?” Sara gulped and nodded her head, knowing that whatever it was about couldn’t be good.  
  
The possibilities ran through Sara’s head through the entire class period, distracting her from anything that the professor was saying. She wasn’t under any delusion that she was crushing her English class, but they only had one assignment so far and she hadn’t missed any classes. She honestly wasn’t sure what she had done to get the attention of her professor.  
  
Sara waited for the classroom to clear out before approaching her professor’s office and knocking on the door timidly. “Umm.. you wanted to see me?” She asked.  
  
“Yes, please sit down Miss Lance.” Her professor reached into a desk drawer and pulled out the paper that Sara handed in last week. The assignment had been 1,000 words on a topic of her choice from that week’s news. It sounded easy enough, until she sat down to write it and remembered the reason she had avoided taking this class for two years. 

School was never easy for Sara, and that was extra true when it came to writing. While she could get through subjects that really only required memorizing, anytime she had to put words on paper it was like her brain completely forgot how to work. Eventually she would get so frustrated that she just gave up or wrote down the first thing that came to her. It wasn’t the best strategy, but she got by.

“I noticed that you had a hard time with this paper.”  
  
Professor Kane seemed nice. Nicer than a lot of other professors that Sara had had, but she still didn’t really feel like explaining her struggles with school to her. “Yeah, sorry, I’m just not a very good writer.”  
  
The professor quirked an eyebrow, obviously unconvinced by Sara’s vague answer.  
  
“Let me level with you a bit, Miss Lance. I understand that writing isn’t for everyone and that it can be incredibly frustrating. And while I sympathize with you, and I’m willing to help in whatever way I can, this is a required class. Which means you need at least a C in order to graduate and anything lower than that will require you to retake the course and you’ll be put on academic probation until you do so. Which means no extracurriculars and it would be a mark on your permanent transcripts.” 

Sara knew the consequences, but having them laid out to her like this, when it could actually happen, was terrifying. She remained silent, picking at her fingernails, and avoiding eye contact, while she waited for her professor to continue. 

“Right now, you have a D in the course based on this first assignment, so I suggest you speak to someone about getting help. It doesn’t have to be me, but it should be someone. Miss Lance, Sara,” she looked up at her name, “I have seen you paying attention during class and working hard in the library. I know you can pass my class. But we all need help sometimes, don’t be afraid to ask for it.”  
  
“Okay, thank you professor.” With that Sara left the room and headed straight to the library.

Asking for help was not Sara’s forte. She loved her friends, and she knew that they would help her if they could, but she always struggled with putting her own pride aside. She’d done it in the past, and she could do it again, but she definitely contemplated turning around at least a couple of times on her way to find her friends at the library.

As expected, Ray was there diligently working with books spread across his table and headphones in. He was also sitting at a table suspiciously close to Nora and Ava’s. Sara was sure that wasn’t a coincidence, but it wasn’t at the top of the list of her priorities right now.  
  
Sara sat down at Ray’s table with a huff and dropped her face into her arms.  
  
Ray took out one of his headphones and paused his music to look at Sara. He was pretty unphased by her melodramatic antics, but he could tell when his friend was stressed.

“What’s up Sara?”  
  
Sara responded without even unburying her head from her arms. “My stupid English class is gonna keep me off the rugby field if I don’t learn how to write a good essay in the next couple weeks.”  
  
Now Ray’s full attention was on Sara. “Sara you know we’re always here to help you if we can. But I’m a science guy, English isn’t really my strong suit either. Would Charlie be able to help?”  
  
“I’m doomed.” Sara just groaned. Charlie was an excellent writer, but the idea of being taught by her was something Sara wasn’t willing to put herself through.  
  
Ava cleared her throat, alerting Sara to her presence now standing besides her. “Not to interrupt this pity party, but I’m pretty good at English. If you want, I could help. What exactly are you struggling with?”  
  
Sara looked over to Ray who just shrugged, and Sara figured Ava might be her best bet. “To be honest, I’m a little confused about everything we’re learning. It’s not so much the class as it is my general ability to write.”  
  
“Are you asking for my help?” Ava couldn’t help but tease a little bit. She wanted to help Sara. Mostly because she didn’t want the team to lose one of their best players, but also a little bit because Sara seemed really down about it and Ava thought it would be a good way to show Sara that she was trying to make up for her anger at the beginning of the season.  
  
“No.” Sara quickly snapped. Asking for help was hard enough without letting Ava, who she frankly didn’t know that well and was still a little hesitant around, see her when she was struggling.  
  
But Ava stared blankly back at Sara, raising both eyebrows challengingly. Sara sighed, knowing that she was going to have to take the help where she could get it if she wanted to pass the class. Graduating on time and staying on the rugby field took precedence over any hesitation she may have towards Ava.   
  
“Okay yes.”  
  
Ava sat down next to Sara at Ray’s table. “Alright, let’s make a plan then.”  
  
“You’re really gonna help me?”  
  
“I told you, I’m trying to be a better teammate. This is a way I can help that’s within my comfort zone. I tutor you in English, you stay eligible, and everyone wins.”  
  
Sara smiled, happy to see that Ava was trying. “Okay. I’m in then. Think you can help me to become at least a C writer in 8 weeks?”  
  
“I never say no to a challenge. Let me see the essay you just got back, we can start there.”  
  
“Well, I hope you mean that because it’ll definitely be a challenge. I got a D.”  
  
Ava looked up at Ray, knowing that this session with Sara was going to take some time and also that Nora had a bit of a crush on her old TA.  
  
“I don’t want to distract you from studying Ray, why don’t we switch spots and you can take the table with Nora? I’m sure you guys could geek out over molecules or something together.”  
  
“I’m not even going to attempt to explain to you why molecules are not involved in what I’m studying.” Ray looked a little nervous until Nora looked over at him. “Come on over and let them get to work so we can study in peace.”  
  
As Ray gathered his stuff and moved it over to Nora’s table, Sara leaned over and whispered to Ava. “Very smooth. Think it’ll be the push they need to do something about their little mutual crushes?”  
  
“God I hope so.”  
  
“Thank you again for this. And remember my gratitude when I’m frustrated and inevitably make you the target of that frustration.”  
  
“I think I can handle a little bit of your frustration Lance, I’ve been tutoring since middle school.  
As long as you keep it off the field.”  
  
“You know I’m as professional as they get out there.”  
  
Ava laughed at the reference back to their first fight. It was hard to believe that was just a couple of weeks ago.  
  
After the camping trip, Ava had really been trying to show Sara that she wanted to be part of the team no matter how hard it was for her still. She knew that tutoring Sara would be a good way to really show her that she meant it when she said she would try.  
  
She just hoped it wasn’t going to cause more friction between them.  
  
—————————————————————————

And so the tutoring began.  
  
Ava and Sara met every Wednesday night in the library to work on Sara’s English assignments. They were mostly small one-page assignments, but Ava’s little tips here and there were definitely helping Sara feel better about her chances of passing the class. She still hated it with every fiber of her being, but the goal was to get out of the class alive not to become an English major. 

She didn’t know if what the one-on-one time or the neutral library territory, but she and Ava had actually been getting along fairly well. It wasn’t just an acquaintance relationship or the polite small talk you had with any tutor, but it had evolved into ‘how’s your day going’ and ‘did you finally watch the last season of New Girl.’

At first it was definitely awkward. They stuck to talking about the assignment in front of them, but Sara didn’t really enjoy studying so she started to sidetrack them with small talk. Eventually, it turned into whole tutoring sessions where they only talked about movies or rugby for hours and Ava would have to reel them back in to make sure they got anything done.

Somehow though, without Sara even realizing it was happening, their friendship wasn’t about rugby anymore though. 

Ava discovered that Sara secretly loved to watch trashy reality TV like _The Challenge_ and _Love Island_ , but only when she was really stressed out and Sara discovered that Ava really loved to watch crime documentaries and had an almost suspicious level of knowledge about serial killers. They talked about Ava’s obsession with following every pitbull rescue group she could find, and Sara’s weird obsession with wanting a pet raccoon. They also definitely spent more time than they should have trying to plot on how they could get Nora and Ray to admit their feelings for each other.

At some point during one of Sara’s frustration fueled breakdowns, Ava told Sara a story about how her 9th grade geometry teacher was out to get her and gave her the worst grade she’d ever gotten. 

_“A B- Sara! Do you know how hard it was to explain to my mother that I apparently didn’t know how to measure angles? It was horrible.”_

Sara had definitely laughed at her, but was quietly grateful that Ava was sharing stories about her ‘failure’ to try and make Sara feel better about needing to be tutored.

It wasn’t typical small talk, but neither of them had been brave enough to broach the more serious topics yet. Neither ever brought up their conversation in the woods and Ava, despite desperately wanting to know, never followed up on what Sara meant when she admitted she was intrigued by her after their first interaction. 

It was nice and somehow more comfortable than either of them expected. They weren’t quite friends yet, and everything still felt tentative and timid, like they were both waiting to misstep in a conversation and upset the other one. But they had found a good flow and it was improving both of their moods and play on the field.

Sara was on her way to tutoring one night, an unknowing smile plastered on her face at the prospect of getting to learn more about Ava Sharpe during their time in the library, when she got a call from her dad.

She picked up her phone pleasantly surprised that her dad was calling her for once rather than the other way around. 

“Hey Dad, what’s up?”  
  
“Sara!” Her stomach dropped as soon as she heard her dad’s voice and the slight slur in his words. “I was just talking to my buddy John down at the bar. Did you know you don’t need a college degree to work as an office secretary? Why don’t you just give up this silly rugby thing and just ask your sister to get you that kind of job at her firm?”  
  
Sara could tell by his voice that he was more than just the normal few beers in and thought he was giving her some life changing advice. Like he and his buddy John had figured out everything for her and he couldn’t wait to tell her.

She tried not to get upset, tilting her head back to keep the tears at bay. She was tired of defending herself and her desire for a college degree to her dad. Especially when he was like this.  
  
“Dad I only have a couple more semesters left, I can finish it.”   
  
“You know you’ve never been good at school pumpkin. I’m just trying to help you out, give you some other options.”  
  
Sara closed her eyes, no longer able to prevent the tears from spilling over. “No, you’re not, you just don’t want to pay for my school anymore.” Her voice cracked and it took everything she had not to let it show that what he was saying was getting to her. Not that he would even notice.  
  
“Sara—”  
  
“Save it Dad. I’m gonna finish. But thank you so much for the support.” And with that Sara hung up.

She stood there for a few minutes, maybe longer, trying to compose herself. The tears had stopped and she did her best to wipe away any stains they left behind, but she knew that her eyes were red and cheeks puffy.   
  
_My own fucking dad didn’t think I could get through college. Who am I kidding? What am I even doing with tutoring in the first place? It wasn’t like it was going to make a difference. Fuck this._  
  
Sara picked up her phone and clicked on Charlie with every intention of calling her to go and hit up every bar on campus and drink until she couldn’t remember why she started in the first place. Her contact was pulled up and a finger hovered over the call button. But before she could press down, Sara put the phone back in her pocket and shook her head.   
  
_No. I’m not going to do this. I’m better than this. Better than him and everything he thinks. I’m not going to spiral because of one bad conversation._  
  
As much as Sara wanted to push through and go to tutoring, she wanted to wallow in her bed and watch Netflix more. She couldn’t explain to Ava why she looked like such a mess or push through her frustrations with writing right now. Just because she knew drinking was a bad idea didn’t mean she wasn’t going to drown her feelings in other ways. 

She turned around and headed back to her house so she could crawl in bed and not think for the rest of the night. Her phone was off, and she had a whole queue of movies lined up.  
  
Just when she was ready to hit play, there was someone loudly, and what seemed like angrily, knocking on her door.  
  
Sara swung it open and was met with the unfortunately familiar look of a very pissed off looking Ava Sharpe.  
  
“What the fuck Lance?” Ava walked confidently past Sara and into the kitchen, turning to face Sara. “I thought we had an understanding here and we were trying to work together to, idk, become friends or teammates or something. And then tonight you just stand me up with no text and your phone was turned off. Did I do something? Are we done with the tutoring?”  
  
Sara was standing there dumbfounded. She was too distracted by wallowing in her own feelings to even think to text Ava when she came back home. Maybe standing her up at the library wasn’t the best move, but she didn’t expect the other girl to care so much. It was just tutoring, Sara figured she could have done other homework or something and they would just catch up at practice tomorrow.   
  
Something about the way Ava was yelling, like Ava had expected more from Sara just got to her. She didn’t want to put up a fight or yell back at her. But without that anger, her emotions took over and she let out a sob instead.   
  
“Ava I’m sorry that I bailed on tutoring, I wasn’t even thinking, and I know that’s not really an excuse.” 

She sat down at the kitchen table, hoping Ava would stop pacing and sit with her so she could explain. Her features had softened, but she was still standing on the other side of the table waiting for Sara to explain.  
  
“My dad called me tonight on my way to the library.” Sara started, already feeling her emotions rise back to the surface. She subconsciously wet her lips as she did her best to feign a steady voice.  
  
“Which honestly was a surprise in itself, because he never calls and I’m lucky if I even speak to him apart from the couple days a year that I’m home for the holidays. Which is ridiculous right? I’m from Denver, it’s a 45-minute drive from our house to campus. You’d think he’d be here for games or I’d go home for laundry or something, but nope. So, he calls me and I’m thinking okay, some actual effort on my dad’s part, that’s a nice change. Then he starts and I can tell he’s wasted, and he’s going off about how I should just drop out of school and become a secretary at my sisters’ firm. And, I don’t know what happened, he’s said this shit to me before, but this time it just got to me. I’m already hard enough on myself about school and it’s never been as easy for me as it is for a lot of other people. I have to study twice as hard and it takes me three times as long to get my reading done. But I’m trying my best and doing everything I can to stay afloat. And he’s my _dad_. If he doesn’t believe in me then what am I even doing? Maybe I should just give up. Not like I need a degree to play rugby, right? It’s all I’ve ever been good at anyways.”  
  
Sara could see any remnants of anger leave Ava’s body as she listened to her. She wasn’t actively trying to throw a pity party for herself, but none of her roommates had asked and apparently, she needed to get it out. If she thought hard enough about it, she might question why it was Ava sitting across from her right now rather than Zari or Amaya or even Nate.   
  
“Sara… I had no idea you felt that way.” Ava put her hand on Sara’s across the table, preventing the girl from continuing to fidget with her fingers. It was crossing a physical boundary that they hadn’t really broached yet, except the brief moment in the woods when Sara had grabbed Ava’s hand. “Why didn’t you say anything when we started tutoring?”  
  
Sara shrugged. “We’re not really friends Ava. We’ve got this weird maybe-friends thing going but it felt so fragile. Things were going well with tutoring and we were just starting to get to know each other. It didn’t feel like your job to deal with my baggage about school. Plus, thanks to you, the tutoring really was improving things for me in my class.”  
  
“What about talking to your friends? I’m sure one of them could help you talk through this stuff. You can’t just keep it in. Nora and I are _constantly_ ranting about our parents and the pressure they put on us. We all get what it feels like.”  
  
“But it’s not just about my dad. It sucks he said that and it sucks that he’s drunk every time I talk to him, but I’m used to it by now. You guys – you, Nate, Zari, Amaya, Ray, Charlie, Nora – you’re all _so_ smart and studying these crazy things. Everyone came into school knowing exactly what they wanted to do and what direction they’re going and I just don’t. The only thing I’ve ever felt passionate about is rugby. I love the way it feels to step out on the field and know that all the extra work I put in matters, and I love the pressure of going in for a tackle and _knowing_ that I’m going to make it. It never feels like I’m going to fail my team or my family or myself when I have the ball in my hand. School isn’t like that for me, and I don’t know how to make a career out of loving rugby. I just - I feel like I’m alone in this, like no one gets it.”  
  
“I can’t speak for everyone but I promise you that Nora and I feel that way sometimes too. Nora is harder on herself about school than anyone I know. She’s always studying and putting in extra work and if she gets a bad grade she has a whole self-care routine to pull herself out of the inevitable funk that follows. And I have no idea what I want to do. Sure, school comes a little easier to me, but my parents just decided my future for me. Before I even started applying to schools, they told me that I was going to be pre-med without even asking. God forbid I were to tell my mother that I hate the idea of following in her footsteps and becoming a surgeon. I’m stuck on a career path I hate, and some of my classes make me absolutely miserable.”  
  
Ava paused, she didn’t want to make this about her right now but she was trying to find a way to show Sara that she wasn’t alone. Her eyes shot down to her hand that was still laying gently on top of Sara’s. She was tempted to pull back, but she knew that would send the wrong message. Instead, she doubled down and put her other hand on Sara’s wrist as she continued speaking.  
  
“People don’t talk about the pressures of college. Everyone comes home and talks about how it’s fun and there’s freedom in being away and being totally responsible for the outcome of your journey, but it’s also _hard_ and everyone is too afraid to talk about what scares them. You’re not alone Sara and you have a whole team of people behind you willing to help you do whatever it takes to finish strong. Including me. And for what it’s worth, I think you’re incredibly intelligent, you just need to find something to channel your intelligence into.”  
  
Sara smiled. “Got any ideas on that one?”  
  
“Actually, kind of. I’m not sure if you’ve looked into it at all, but the school has a really good sports management program that I think would be great for you.”  
  
Sara scrunched up her eyebrows. She had never heard of that major before. “Sports management? What is that?”  
  
Ava didn’t want to admit that she’d scoured the university’s website for more information on it a week back after one of their tutoring sessions. She had been trying to find ways to subtly slip it into conversation, but she figured now was as good of time as any.

“There’s a lot of different ways you’d be able to use the degree. The classes usually focus on the business or coaching side of athletics. I’ve seen the way that you can explain things to people on the field. You’re patient and understanding with the girls that are new to rugby, and you have such a unique way of explaining things when someone is having a hard time grasping something. I think you’d make a great coach, or someone behind the scenes on a professional or college team. It’d be a great way to channel your passion for rugby and the athletics community into a tangible post-college option.” 

Sara had never really thought about it before. “Uh, that actually sounds pretty interesting. How did I not know we had this?”  
  
“I’m guessing you’ve spent a lot of time avoiding having to declare a major, but I think you would’ve found it eventually. I know it’s not the same as playing forever, but it’s something.”  
  
“You’re right, I’ve been avoiding dealing with a lot of this. I’m sorry I just unloaded on you.” Sara felt a little embarrassed about everything she said now that the moment was over. She pulled her hands gently out from under Ava’s and slid them into her lap, immediately missing the warmth.  
  
“I told you, I’m part of your support system now. You can talk to me about this stuff if you feel like the pressure is building up again.” Ava shrugged, leaning back into the kitchen chair. She wasn’t as nonchalant about things as Sara was, but she hoped that she wasn’t coming across as awkward as she felt.   
  
Sara, ready for the heaviness of the evening to be over, obviously cracked a joke. “Aww I think someone has joined the Sara Lance fan club.”  
  
Ava scoffed, sensing the conversation was moving on and back into the familiar territory of banter. “Let’s not go that far. But I would say we’ve moved past the weird maybe-friend phase we’ve had going on since the camping trip. I’d upgrade us to at least friends with boundaries.”  
  
“Friends with boundaries? I just bared my soul to you Sharpe. What’s a girl gotta do to get on your good side.”  
  
“Bared your soul? Feels a bit dramatic.”  
  
“Whatever, you just used the phrase ‘outcome of your journey,’ like a cheesy country song.”  
  
Ava just shoved her playfully. “Oh shut up, I was trying to be inspirational.”  
  
“Yeah yeah. And honestly, thank you. For all of that, and the tutoring. You didn’t have to come looking for me tonight when I bailed, which I’m still super sorry about, but I appreciate that you did. I really needed to hear a lot of the stuff you said, and it was nice to hear it from someone other than Zari or Amaya. I’m definitely going to look into the sports management thing and maybe sign up for an intro class next semester.”  
  
Ava smiled at Sara. And Sara felt like it was the first time she got to see a full Ava Sharpe smile directed at her. She didn’t expect to feel a little twinge in her stomach at how beautiful she looked.  
  
“Good I’m glad. Let me know if you need any help with that. I’ll see you tomorrow for practice _and_ next Wednesday for tutoring. You’ve got a midterm paper due before Halloween and I’m determined for you to absolutely crush it.”  
  
“I can’t tell if you want that more for you and your tutoring ego or for me and my GPA.” Sara laughed walking Ava to the door. “Now get out of my house so I can continue my planned Netflix binge.”  
  
As Ava walked back to her house next door, she couldn’t help but feel a little bit lighter knowing she helped Sara. It finally got them to a point where they felt like real friends, and Ava felt one step closer to feeling like she belonged somewhere again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Comments? Feelings? Let me know!


	10. Homecoming Anxieties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bar exam is ruining my life and writing this story is my reprieve so I edited the chapter and I'm posting it early rather than waiting until Sunday! (I could probably be convinced to post again on Sunday too)
> 
> Honestly, I really love how this chapter turned out so I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do!

Halloween brought with it an endless number of reasons for college students to celebrate. Obviously, there was the excuse to dress up and get drunk as if anyone needed that, but there were costumes and an excess of parties, and most importantly, it meant that midterms were over and everyone could once again delay thinking about their final grades for a while. It was a blissful weekend of hanging out and irresponsibility shirking off responsibilities. 

Usually. 

But this year, Halloween also happened to mean homecoming weekend. And Homecoming weekend meant more responsibility and more stress than midterms week brought. Homecoming for the women’s rugby team was, in simple terms, a big fucking deal. Almost all the alumni from the past couple of years came back for just one night, and as much as everyone loved it, it was stressful as hell for the girls at Chop Shop. 

Instead of joining in with Halloween, the Sirens were prepping for Homecoming and the craziness that it brought. Sara was sure the alumni would only bring chaos with them as she prepared for the slew of rugby traditions she was in charge of as captain. She had to figure out sleeping arrangements, get enough alcohol and snacks to cover her bases, and coordinate rides from the airport.

So, understandably, Sara was more stressed than usual that Friday. However, that wasn’t why Sara had been pacing in her room since she’d woken up this morning. The planning was a lot, but it was manageable with the help of her friends. 

Her pacing was because of something else, or rather someone, else, entirely.

———————————————————————

**OG Squad**

**_Today_ ** _9:46 AM_

**Z (9:46):**

@Sara are you freaking out yet

**Nate (9:46):**

Zari! Where’s the sensitivity

**Nate (9:46):**

Are you doing okay Sara?

**Sara (9:51) :**

Why wouldn’t I be okay?

**Sara (9:51) :**

Just because my evil spawn ex-girlfriend should be on

campus any minute and has to stay in my house this

weekend with all of my friends and lots of alcohol?

**Sara (9:51) :**

What’s to freak out about?

**Z (9:52) :**

See Nate, she’s fine

**Z (9:52) :**

Definitely not having a breakdown 

**Sara (9:52) :**

Nope definitely no breakdown here I’m so fine

**Nate (9:53) :**

I’m only good at reading your sarcasm about 30% of the time

**Nate (9:55):**

Do you want us to come over and help? Is there anything we can do?

**Sara (9:58) :**

Unless you have a way to erase my memory of last year

then I don’t think there’s anything you guys can help

with

**Sara (10:01) :**

I’m going to be polite and captainly and show everyone

that things are fine

**Sara (10:03) :**

But also if anyone wants to join me in throwing things

at her from the corner of the house all weekend that’s

where I’ll be

**Z (10:04):**

I’m into that option. I can bring melon balls

**Nate (10:05):**

Again not feeling confident about the sarcasm

**Nate (10:05):**

Melon balls?

**Z (10:06):**

Melon balls are great for throwing because they’re

not gonna hurt anyone but it still gets the job done

**Sara (10:07):**

As tempting as that oddly pre-prepared 

suggestion is, I was just kidding 

**Sara (10:08):**

After everything that went down last year, I really

want to come into this weekend ready to show

the team that I can handle it and that it’s not 

going to make things awkward forever

**Sara (10:08):**

Nyssa doesn’t get to win you know? This is

my team now

**Z (10:09):**

We’re proud of you Sara

**Nate (10:09):**

Show her how a real cap does it

**Z (10:15):**

(I’ll bring melon balls just in case) 

——————————————————

As a smile crossed Sara’s face, the pacing finally stopped. She truly loved her friends for their support and very unique ways of calming her down. The weekend was never going to be easy between the pressures of hosting as only a junior and the added stress of Nyssa being back on campus, but she was determined to be the bigger person and make sure that everyone enjoyed a drama-free homecoming. 

But drama-free definitely meant avoiding Nyssa as long as possible. 

Sara knew that eventually, she’d have to face her ex-girlfriend again. It had been almost six months since the last time they had spoken and honestly, Sara was not ready to face her yet. Their last conversation was full of heartbreak for her and sent her down a path that was full of mistakes and poorly dealt with emotions. She was nervous that the second she saw her everything that she had been working to repress for months was going to come right back to the surface. 

Between the two-year age gap and position of authority that Nyssa had over the team, Sara was embarrassed to admit that Nyssa had a lot of power over her during their year together. She had a small crush on her teammate at the beginning of her freshman year, but then Sara got lost in her _fling_ with Alex and it wasn’t like Nyssa was going to give her the time of day. 

But sophomore year was a different story. Sara came in exuding confidence and, for whatever reason, Nyssa’s interest was piqued. Things had started out so well between the two. Their chemistry on the field translated to their relationship well and it was the first time Sara felt like she was part of a relationship with emotions that ran deeper than what happened in the bedroom. 

Then, as things do, they took a turn. Nyssa became more controlling of Sara’s time but was never willing to change her own schedule or carve out time for Sara. Most days ended with Sara just waiting in Nyssa’s room for the other girl to come home. It was easier that way for Sara so Nyssa couldn’t start any fights, but Sara, looking back on it, should have known that something was off between them. She never quite lost herself, or thankfully her friends, but if Nyssa would have bothered to stick around Sara feels like she probably would have lost both. Instead, Nyssa broke her heart and then vanished from her life with no chance for closure. 

Sara wanted to be strong and maintain her composure for herself and her team this weekend, but she wasn’t confident that if Nyssa was standing in front of her she would be able to hold her resolve. It was unclear whether it would be pent up anger or leftover romantic feelings that broke free, but Sara was hoping not to find out either way.

So when the alumni finally started to arrive, she was hiding in her room with no intention of leaving until the party was well underway. Amaya and Charlie were more than capable of greeting the alumni as they poured into the house Friday evening. Sara listened in as her friends gave instruction to the alumni as they arrived, waiting for the one voice she didn’t want to hear.

Soon enough though, Sara easily recognized Nyssa’s voice. She finally arrived, fashionably late of course, and Sara could picture her sauntering into her old house with all the confidence in the world. It didn’t sound like she even asked where to put her stuff for the evening or greeted the people that lived there. 

_God forbid she was fucking polite_. Sara thought and her pacing from earlier returned. She needed to try and calm herself down before joining the party. 

She paused when her bedroom door opened but was thankful when it was Alex who poked around the corner. “Lance you coming to your own party or what?”

Sara glared back. “Danvers, you know exactly why I’m up here.” 

Alex plopped down onto the bed and watched as Sara continued to pace. “The Lance I know would be down there enjoying the party and acting like she didn’t have a care in the world.”

“The Lance you know is very different from the Lance I am now.” 

“I don’t buy that for a second.” 

Sara continued pacing, faster now as her anxiety grew. “Come on, Alex. You were here last year. You saw what Nyssa did to me. How am I supposed to go down there and pretend like I’m fine? Or face the team and alumni that know exactly how I fell from grace after she left me behind. She’ll know I’m just pretending and worse, so will the team.”

Alex stood up and grabbed Sara’s arms so she had to turn and look at her. “Sara listen to me. Nyssa is not a member of this team anymore, but _you_ are. The girls down there all look up to you. They saw exactly what kind of shit she put you through and they elected you captain anyways. And you’ve done a kick-ass job this year. The team respects you so who cares what Nyssa thinks. We’ve all got your back.”

Sara looked seriously back at Alex. “Shit. Okay, yeah you’re right.” Sara shook her head, trying to knock out any feeling of hesitation or doubt. 

“Good. Now come on.”

“Thank you Alex.” Sara said seriously to Alex. 

“Yeah, yeah. Anytime Lance.”

Sara walked downstairs with Alex behind her and discreetly joined a mixed group of alumni and current players that seemed to be enjoying themselves. She summoned every ounce of willpower in her not to look around and find Nyssa.

Sara helped set up the house earlier when it was safe from potential alumni arriving, and she was glad to see it was working out. One room dedicated to beer pong, another to dancing with the lights off and the music blasting, and another for people to hang as a group or play more group drinking games. Most of the alumni were just catching up or chatting with some of the newer players that they had never played with. Luckily nobody seemed to be overdoing it quite yet. 

But when Sara saw Ava and Nora walking in, and it seemed like everyone was there, she decided it was time to get some traditions started. First up, some rugby songs. 

Sara stood on a bench and yelled “me, me, me, me, me!” 

As the party quieted and everyone turned to her, she put on a big smile and yelled “If I was the marrying kind,” recognizing the song immediately, the group joined in and sang along. “I thank the lord I’m not sir, the kind of rugger I would be would be a rugby what sir?” 

With the group pausing at just the right time, giving Sara the full attention, she yelled “a scrum-half sir!” 

The group yelled back “A scrum half sir? Why is that sir?” 

“Cause I swing both ways,” Now the group joined in again and everyone sang together. “and you swing both ways. We all swing both ways together. We’ll be alright, in the middle of the night, swinging both ways together.” 

Sara pointed at Zari, who had her beer on her head signaling she was up next, while the group continued the song and set up Zari for the next verse. “If I was the marrying kind, I thank the lord I’m not sir, the kind of rugger I would be would be a rugby what sir?” 

“A lock sir!” Zari yelled. 

“A lock sir? Why is that sir?”

“Cause I sniff butt” and the group joins in again “and you sniff butt, we all sniff butt together. We’ll be all right in the middle of the night, sniffing butt together.”

After what felt like an endless number of rounds, marrying kind finally came to a close and Alex Danvers stood up on her own bench to start the next song. “Ladies, you know what time it is! Split into backs and forwards, and then crouch!” 

The group quickly divided, alumni and current players dividing based on position. The forwards began in a low whisper as required. “Shit-damn, fuck-a-damn, fuck-a-damn-damn, some motherfucker just fucked my man, I'll fuck another fucker better than the other fucker, shit-damn, fuck-a-damn, fuck-a-damn-damn!” 

The backs responded quickly, raising their volume the smallest bit. “Shit-damn, fuck-a-damn, fuck-a-damn-damn, some motherfucker just fucked my man, I'll fuck another fucker better than the other fucker, shit-damn, fuck-a-damn, fuck-a-damn-damn!”

The song, or rather very competitive screaming match, continued on as such with each side raising their volume as little as possible until the two sides were screaming in each others’ faces at full volume. The entire group broke into a laugh and the game collapsed after a rookie scrum player went a step too far and their voice badly cracked at full volume.

Sara and Alex jumped off their respective benches, still laughing, and rejoined the party. Sara’s back was still turned when she heard the familiar voice call her name. “Hey Sar.”

She let out an accidental groan at hearing it. A waive of familiar anger came over her as she crossed her arms and turned around. “Don’t call me that. What do you want Nyssa?”

Nyssa was apparently not deterred by Sara’s tone. “What, not happy to see me? I thought we could have a little reunion.” She stepped a little closer, playing with the end of Sara’s sleeve that was still firmly tucked under her other arm. “I haven’t set up my stuff anywhere yet.”

Sara unintentionally relaxed a little. She had spent so many months wishing her sorrows away, just waiting to hear these words and now that the opportunity was in front of her, it was tempting to just fall back into the easiness of her relationship with Nyssa.

Nyssa who was looking at her like she always did when she wanted something. The something, in this case, being Sara. 

She took in the softness of her features and the slight upturn in her lips. It was easy to remember why they worked so well together when they were pressed together intimately. But it was also easy to remember the aftermath. 

How she spent two months crying and numbing the pain of their breakup. How Nyssa just left like there was nothing at CU she was even going to miss. How the consequences of everything she did to drown out the pain was still haunting her.

And then Sara made eye contact with Alex over Nyssa’s shoulder. And then to Ava, who had a slightly confused look on her face, clearly wondering who this woman was and why Sara was so on edge.

Sara stiffened up, filled with a renewed confidence knowing that her teammates had her back. No matter how tempting or easy it would be to reunite with Nyssa for one night, Sara _knew_ that she couldn’t fall back into the patterns of last year, that she had to be better for this team, and more importantly, for herself.

Sara took a step away from Nyssa and slowly moved her hand off of her arm and placed it back down to Nyssa’s side. She lowered her voice so that only Nyssa could hear her, but made sure to put a smile on for the rest of the girls to see. “I’m not doing this with you. You don’t get to graduate and wreck everything on your way out and then come back here like nothing happened. I’ve moved on from you and from this.”

Nyssa scoffed like she couldn’t believe the idea of someone getting over her. She wasn’t going to give up that easily. “Sar, come on, you don’t mean that. You knew the deal last year, I wasn’t taking any of this place with me when I graduated.”

“That’s the problem though, isn’t it. I was always just part of this place to you, but you _were_ this place for me.” Sara shook her head and took a bigger step back. “I don’t know why I’m bothering to explain myself to you. We did this last year and you still walked away.”

“Sara don’t do this.” Nyssa tried again, her sickeningly sweet smile starting to fall.

Sara put her hand up to stop Nyssa, surprising both of them yet again. Saying no was never something she managed to get a hold of during their relationship.

With a friendly smile on her face, Sara kept her voice low but firm. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom for five minutes to collect myself – no that is not an invitation – and when I come back to the party I’m going to have a _great_ night with the people that matter to me, and you’re going to fuck off and hang out with whatever group you can find to bother. You’re not going to speak to me, and we’re not going to cause a scene or make anyone on this team feel uncomfortable. Goodbye Nyssa.”

Turning away without even a glance back, Sara did exactly that. She gave herself a few minutes upstairs to collect herself in her bathroom and shake off the anger from their interaction, and then rejoined the party, quickly finding Zari and Charlie playing beer pong in the other room.

“Anyone got next game?” She said walking into the room and leaning up against the window seal near the table. She could feel herself relaxing after just seconds of being around her friends.

Zari turned to Charlie and asked her to cover for a few rounds before excusing herself from the game to talk to Sara. “You okay? I couldn’t hear what was being said, but knowing Nyssa that conversation probably wasn’t very fun. Want me to beat her up?”

Sara laughed, and not just for Zari’s benefit. “Honestly?” Zari nodded. “I feel good. She doesn’t have the same power over me that she did last year and I finally got to tell her to fuck off. Danvers gave me a little pep talk before and I realized I have a really good group of people around me. I don’t need her anymore.”

Zari looked impressed. “Damn Sara, good for you. I wish I could tell her to fuck off.”

Sara bumped her shoulder against Zari’s with a smile. “But she still terrifies you?” 

“So much.”

Sara laughed again. “Let’s not let this weekend be about her though okay? I want to play some games and dance and drink vicariously through you all.”

“We’re certainly not going to fight you on that love.” Charlie chimed in, clearly having been eavesdropping on the conversation. “What do you say we do some apple pie shots?”

Sara smirked. “For once, I like the way you think Charlie.” Sara walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of vodka, apple cider, whip cream, and a bottle of cinnamon. Everyone, with the exception of the rookies, knew exactly what was coming with those ingredients in the captain’s hands. Sara found her bench and hopped up on it to get the room’s attention again.

“Ladies, I’m _so pleased_ to announce that it’s time for another honored Sirens tradition. If the alumni would please get on their knees in a row.” The ladies followed the instructions, although some more begrudgingly than others. “Newbies listen up because it’s your turn next. I’m gonna go down the line and put a bit of everything in their mouths,” Sara said holding up the ingredients she pulled from the fridge. “Then they’re gonna shake it up in their mouths and swallow. We like to call an apple pie shot, and I promise that it tastes better than it sounds. Now you know we’re not ones for hazing, so if you _really_ don’t want to do it then feel free to sit it out, but I swear they’re fun.”

Sara basically ran down the line of alumni pouring probably too much vodka in their mouths and definitely too much whip cream. It was hilarious watching the whip cream fly everywhere as they tried to shake up the shot in their mouths.

Next up the rookies. Ava was trying to sit this one out since she didn’t drink, but Sara wasn’t having it. She grabbed her arm and dragged her to the line of rookies.

“Aves, come on. It’ll be fun! I won’t put any vodka in. Plus, I’ve always wanted to see you on your knees.” Sara, who was clearly not thinking about her audience, punctuated her sentence with a wink before coughing to cover the blush that came over her face when she realized just how flirty that sentence sounded. 

Ava just raised an eyebrow at her and complied. 

The rookies, not having the experience that the alumni did, were _much_ more entertaining to watch. Some coughed up the mixture before they even had a chance to swallow, but the majority finished with a grimace on their face and whip cream covering the front of their outfit. 

The tradition was really just for rookies and alumni so nobody else was _encouraged_ to join in, but there were plenty of people that wanted one. After a few more rounds the kitchen floor was a sticky mess, the apple cider was gone and everyone went back to drinking games and dancing.

“Ava!” Sara yelled to Ava before she could disperse. “Wanna be my partner for beer pong?” 

“Is it really even beer pong if neither of us is drinking?” 

Sara just shrugged. “Don’t know, but I have to beat Charlie and Zari and I feel like you probably get pretty competitive at these games.” 

“Fine, fine let’s go.” Ava let Sara drag her into the beer pong room. 

Sara watched Charlie shoot Zari a look when she walked into the room dragging Ava behind her. 

“I’m assuming you know how to play?” Sara asked, grabbing a ball from a water cup nearby. 

Ava just rolled her eyes, keeping her voice as flat as she could muster. “No, they don’t have drinking games at ESU, please explain it to me oh drinking games master.” 

Charlie and Zari snickered. Sara just slapped her arm. “Okay jerk, you can shoot for first round then.” 

Lining up with Charlie, Ava took a shot and the ball perfectly landed in a cup. She turned to Sara with a confidence smirk in place. 

“Okay, okay,” Sara said holding up her hands. “I’ll admit you have some skills, Sharpe.” 

“What can I say, I’m good with my hands.” Ava said casually, moving to shoot again before she could see Sara’s jaw drop at her comment. 

Sara was still standing there, ball in hand, starting at Ava after she was done shooting. “Ava Sharpe. Two jokes in a row? Who is this party animal?”

“I keep telling you Lance, there’s a lot more to me than you know.” 

“I guess so.” Sara said under her breath, more than a little caught off guard at Ava’s casual demeanor. 

Despite Zari trying to stop Charlie from interrupting them, Charlie’s patience had worn out and she yelled across the table, loud enough to be heard over the music. “Oi, if you blokes would stop flirting and throw your damn ball, we’ve got a game to play.” 

Sara glared at Charlie, but threw the ping pong ball anyways. She missed, but luckily Ava made hers in so they were still ahead.

“I always throw first Z.” 

“We have been partners 100 times and you’ve never said that before. I’m going first.” Zari pushed her out of the way to shoot, but Charlie just pushed her back and threw her ball quickly.

Charlie grinned, clearly feeling good that she got to go first, but Zari just rolled her eyes and threw her own ball. 

They both missed. 

Sara and Ava, probably because they were both sober and still had all their fine motor functions intact, easily won the game. Charlie, in all her over-confident idiocy, offered to drink all of Ava and Sara’s cups during the game. Needless to say, Zari was basically holding up her body weight by the time Sara sunk the final cup. 

“Z, you good with her?” Sara asked before walking away from the table. 

Zari had Charlie propped up with an arm around her body. She was still pretty alert, but definitely past her tolerance. “Yeah, I’m just gonna take this idiot up to bed and sit with her until she throws up so I know she’s good for the night.” 

“If you’re sure. You know where to find Ava or I if you need help. Or you can grab Amaya to check in on her.”

Zari smiled. “I know the drill Sara, but thank you. Go have fun, you earned it.” 

Sara watched them go for a second, debating if it was her duty - as captain, friend, or as one of the party’s sober attendees - to go help out. But she decided that Zari hadn’t had too much to drink and seemed like she had it under control. Plus, she trusted that Z would grab her or Amaya if necessary.

“Dance?” She asked Ava, pointing over her shoulder at the dark room packed with bodies. 

Ava looked hesitant. “You want me to go in there? And dance? With you?” 

“It’s not like I’m asking you to prom here Sharpe. Loosen up a little, it’ll be fun.” Sara grabbed her hand before she could respond, and dragged her onto the dance floor. 

Sara loved to dance, and it showed the second they found enough space to move. She put her hands above her head and moved her hips in rhythm with the music. 

Ava took a second to just watch her, in awe of how easily she fell into it. It didn’t look like she was trying at all and yet she looked _damn_ _good_. 

Sara opened her eyes and noticed that Ava was still standing somewhat awkwardly next to her. “Come on Sharpe, just move your hips a little bit.” Sara put her hands on Ava’s hips, looking up for a second to make sure the contact was okay with Ava, and then moved them in sync with her own. “See, it’s not too hard.” 

With Sara’s hands still on her hips, lingering longer than strictly necessary, they let the music flow and just danced. At some point someone bumped into Sara causing her to lean closer into Ava. But the two were too lost in the music and the dancing to notice just how close they were. 

Sara knew that if either of the two had been drinking, the line would’ve been so easy to cross. If it was anyone else, Sara’s not sure she wouldn’t have already closed the _very_ small gap between them. But this was Ava, and despite all the fun they had tonight, their friendship still felt somewhat temporary and fragile. Not to mention Sara still had her no dating rule that she wasn’t about to be the first one to break surrounded by past and present teammates. 

Nyssa hadn’t taken her eyes off of Sara throughout the night and also noticed the _fun_ that Sara was having. To her, and admittedly a few of the other alumni, it looked like Sara and Ava had already crossed that line. Maybe not tonight, but it felt like more than watching two friends dancing at a party. 

Unlike the other alumni, who frankly couldn’t care less what or who the college students were doing, Nyssa was not having it. She was not about to let Sara replace her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the traditions I included are 100% something my undergrad did and they’re are so fun. I based a lot of this chapter off my own homecoming experiences tbh.
> 
> The first rugby song in here is Marrying Kind. I tried so hard to find a video version of it that wasn't weird so I could share it with you all, but I'm begging to think that maybe my college team just adjusted it a lot so a video of the version I wrote in here doesnt actually exist. The second song is called Shit damn fuck a damn I actually managed to find a video of a team we used to play in college singing it if you want a better idea of what it looks like in real life --> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JDi0EKnbRI 
> 
> Let me know what y'all thought! Coming up next: more Nyssa and homecoming craziness!


	11. Won the battle but lost the war

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who commented on the last chapter!! As promised, here's another chapter!

Hangover or not, every current player and alumni was dressed and ready for the reunion game at 10 am on Saturday.

The reunion game was a tradition that went past any of the women standing on the field currently. It was meant to be a fun chance for the alumni that stopped playing rugby after graduation to get back out there and, usually, embarrass themselves. Most of the girls didn’t even tackle and shifted to more of a two-hand touch honor code system. 

The players hobbled to the field, somewhat reluctantly ready to face off. Charlie looked worse for wear than most of them and Sara debated making her sit out for safety reasons, but Charlie had assured her that she’d be fine once her coffee kicked in.

Sara, however, felt great. She had a fun night, after the run-in with Nyssa of course, and was ready to take on the alumni this morning. College students might drink more, but they also bounce back a lot quicker than the graduates.

Amaya let out an uncharacteristic groan, leaning against her sister so they could keep each other up. “Sara, why do you look so damn _spry_ this morning? Can’t you at least pretend you’re not excited?”

“And why is it so bright?” Alex chimed in from the ground where she was slowly putting on her cleats, still drinking her coffee with giant sunglasses covering most of her face.

“I love this sport, I love my team, and I love homecoming weekend. It’s a beautiful day to play some rugby!” Sara answered, louder than necessary. 

A series of groans rumbled through the crowd at Sara’s loud response. She just chuckled along with Ava, the only two that seemingly felt anywhere near spry out of the large group of ruggers.

Nyssa was not in the mood for jokes if the scowl that permanently plastered on her face this morning was any indication. Sara didn’t know if she was hungover or still grouchy from being put in her place. 

“Let’s get this show on the fucking road, yeah? Not all of us can hang around a college campus all weekend.” 

The group awkwardly quieted at the outburst.

“Okay!” Sara smacked the rugby ball in her hand to take everyone’s attention off Nyssa and put it back on her. “Let’s split into alumni and current players and get a 30-minute warm-up before we start this thing?”

“Sounds good Sara, see you on the field!” One of the alumni stood up in an attempt to take charge of her group. At least most of the group was there to have a good time and not rile up drama from their college days.

Soon enough, both teams were lined up on the field, with the current players kicking to the alumni. Sara, clearly not thinking, kicked the ball right into the hands of Nyssa to start the game. When the serious look came over her, the whole team knew that it was a mistake. 

Nyssa quickly ran through a couple of players and then tossed it off to another alumna, who swiftly lost the ball to Kara. Kara shifted the ball quickly to Sara to start things up for the Sirens, but the second Sara had the ball in her hands Nyssa took her shot. 

A low, clean, and unreasonably rough tackle from Nyssa brought Sara to the ground. Nyssa easily picked up the ball and brought it into the try-zone while the rest of the field was too shocked to keep playing.

Zari offered a hand to Sara and pulled her back to her feet. “You good cap?”

As much as Sara wanted to say no and plot revenge with Zari or writhe on the ground for a minute, she knew that she couldn’t do that today. So she shook off the tackle and smiled. “Course Z. Let’s get one back ladies!”

Zari exchanged a look with Amaya, and the two silently agreed to keep an eye out for Nyssa as they got into their places to receive the ball from the alumni.

The game continued on as most of the ladies attempted to keep the mood light. The alumni that were either too hungover or that just wanted to keep things light had turned into jumping on player's backs in an attempt to tackle them or waving their hands in defeat as one of the rookies ran by them, usually accompanied by a laugh and a joke from someone about how old and out of shape they were. The majority of the group was having a good time working through their hangovers and being out on a surprisingly warm Colorado fall day.

But Nyssa just continued taking shots at Sara every time she got the ball. She hit her low and hard, nothing that was dirty or out of character. Occasionally she’d accompany the tackle with a dig at Sara just in case the hard hits weren’t enough of a message.

After a particularly hard tackle, Sara had to hold Amaya of all people back from going after Nyssa. Sara told the players around her that Nyssa wasn’t worth it, and instead, the Sirens stopped giving the ball to Sara all together.

At half time, Sara kept a smile on her face as she slightly limped off the field. “How’s everyone feeling? Less hungover I hope.”

The younger girls politely smiled back, but the older girls saw right through Sara’s act. “Dude, how are you?” Alex asked, speaking for the group.

Sara tried not to glare at Alex for calling her out in front of everyone. She knew that it was her job to keep everyone positive and the mood light. “Guys I’m fine, really, it’s just rugby. I’ve taken plenty more hits than this. I’m just happy to be out here with all of you getting some work in.”

Alex made eye contact with Ava across the group and while most of the team seemed to accept her answer, Ava wasn’t going to let things slide that easily. She pulled Sara subtly away from the group as they went back to chatting amongst themselves.

Ava looked at her with concern. “Okay how are you actually and what’s the deal with that girl?”

Sara sighed. She wanted to answer that this wasn’t the time nor the place to get into it, but the look on Ava’s face told her that she wasn’t going to be able to shirk this off so easily.

“I know you’ve heard about the infamous Nyssa, you don’t need to pretend like you haven’t heard the whispers and the rumors of our ugly break up.” Sara scratched the back of her neck, embarrassed that this conversation was even necessary, but kept talking. “We got into a little bit last night and I turned her down so I guess this is her getting payback. But I’m fine I swear. I wasn’t expecting to get hit that hard this morning, but it’s not like I can’t take it.”

“Okay, I’ll take you word for it. As much as I’m worried about you, I’m more worried that Amaya or Zari are going to deck her on the field if she hits you again so maybe you should sit the second half out?”

Sara protested immediately. “No way. If I do that, she wins. We’ll just keep the ball out of my hands, it'll be fine.”

“You want me to fight her?”

Sara laughed. “Funny enough, Zari offered the same thing last night. Maybe you guys could tag team her.”

Ava knew she was joking but it was comforting to hear Sara crack a joke about the situation. Ava saw their tense interaction last night and was happy to help her shake it off at the party, but the strained atmosphere this morning had clearly brought it all back.

“I heard her mention something about melon balls?”

“Oh god, please don’t encourage her with that. I already feel like I might need to pat her down for fruit.”

“I’m sure Charlie would be happy to help with that.”

Sara grimaced. “The visuals.”

Content that Sara wasn’t actually hurt, they headed back over to the group.

And the second half was off. Sara kept the ball far away from her, shifting behind everyone else in the fullback position and only playing defense when it was necessary. It was a good plan until Nyssa realized what was happening and shifted her target. Apparently, if she couldn’t hit Sara, the next best thing was Ava.

Sara had noticed Nyssa glaring at Ava a couple of times throughout the day, but she just figured that Nyssa was angry in general and being harsher than usual to the team evenly. If she would’ve realized sooner that her anger was specifically being directed at herself _and Ava_ , she never would’ve left Ava wide open.

The first chance Nyssa got, she laid Ava out. And much more force than she had hit Sara earlier.

Ava hit the ground, hard, and the whole field seemed to pause.

When Ava didn’t immediately get up, Sara grabbed Alex’s arm and asked her to check on her while she dealt with everyone else. Alex could keep a calm head and she was another friendly face for Ava right now. Unlike Sara who was using every ounce of willpower she had not to let her concern from taking over her face and run straight to Ava.

Sara did her best to gather up everyone else away from Ava and Alex. “Okay ladies! How does everyone feel about an early trip to IHOP? I’m sure the hangovers have subsided and now everyone is hungry. I know I am.” 

She was met with mostly silence. The alumni knew exactly what was happening and the current players were too focused on their teammate who still hadn’t gotten up. 

Some of the older alumni, the ones removed from the Nyssa and Sara situation, began to hesitantly move off the field causing some of the younger players to follow suit. 

“Z, organize cars for everyone please?” Zari nodded and followed everyone to the parking lot. 

Sara let out a sigh of relief as the field emptied and she could stop pretending that she wasn’t pissed off at how their ‘friendly’ game had gone. She walked over to Nyssa who was still out of earshot from the rest of the group and yanked her arm back so that she couldn’t walk away.

“Nyssa, what the hell was that?”

Nyssa tilted her head, slightly pouting. “What do you mean?”

Sara rolled her eyes. “Let’s not play dumb.”

Nyssa waved her hand dismissively. “It was a tackle, Sara. I know you were familiar with them at one point. You guys go soft this year?” 

“Take whatever you want out on me Nyssa, but you had no reason to go after Ava. You don’t even know her.”

“Now who’s being dumb Sara? Everyone saw the two of you yesterday at the party and I could see her checking in on you at half time. I know what it looks like you’re getting _close_ with a teammate.” Sara’s face stayed hard, not giving anything away for Nyssa. As if realizing that anger wasn’t getting her anywhere, Nyssa softened and stepped into Sara’s personal space. “You remember when that was us, Sara? We played so well together.” 

“Nyssa just tell me what the fuck you want from me? I can’t do this again today.” Sara snapped back.

Nyssa sneered and took a step back. “I just wanted to remind you that you’ve played this little game with a teammate before and you barely came out of that one. Maybe don’t ruin another season for the Sirens because you can’t help but fall for the first person that knows how to hold a rugby ball and pretends to care about you.”

Nyssa walked back to the alumni with a smile on her face joking about how excited she was for pancakes, leaving Sara to stare at the ground running through every interaction she had with Ava in the past 48 hours.

The field emptied and Sara was still standing there, the shock of Nyssa’s words running through her. She knew how Nyssa played, it was all mind games and manipulation until she got what she wanted. And if that didn’t work, then she got mean. 

The logical side of her wanted to shake it off and go have a fun brunch with her team. But the more she thought about it, the more she spiraled. Last night was fun and it was surprisingly easy for Sara and Ava to get along now that their friendship had grown. It never even crossed Sara’s mind how that might look to people on the outside. Was she trying to be more than just friends with Ava? Was Sara setting herself up for the same situation as last year and the same team-wrecking fallout?

She drove to IHOP with the radio off, and let her thoughts deteriorate even further. 

Fighting with Nyssa and _finally_ standing up to her had felt amazing in the moment. Sara felt like she gained some power back that she so clearly lost during their time together. But it had only made things worse for herself and Ava. The last thing she wanted to do was drag Ava into Nyssa’s path so maybe she just needed to shut up and let this one slide. 

Just a few more hours of ignoring Nyssa and then she could get back to normal and make sure that everyone knew there was nothing going on between her and Ava.

Sara entered the restaurant, easily finding her rowdy group of 30 girls sitting in the back corner. Her mood had quickly gone to shit between the end of the game and her arrival at IHOP, but she didn’t want everyone to pick up on it or let it affect the last day of their homecoming weekend.

She hesitantly approached one end of the table, plastering a fake smile on her face to ask the alumni how they felt being back out on the field. She chatted for a bit, making sure to keep her eyes on one person at a time. She knew if she looked up to scan the whole table she would instinctively search for Ava and that was just the type of interaction she was trying to avoid right now.

She moved through the table, checking in with everyone that seemed ‘safe,’ aka anyone that wasn’t going to call bullshit on her fake smile. But eventually, she was forced to look up and right into the eyes of Nyssa. 

Who was seated directly next to Ava.

She tried, calmly, to look for an open seat where she could overhear what was being said between the two, but there was no such luck. The only open seat was at the opposite end of the table between two alumni that Sara didn’t even know.

Sara distractedly browsed the menu while trying to strain her ears, but she could only hear bits and pieces of what Nyssa was saying. 

“Do you even know how to play rugby?”

“You’re so awkward and quiet.” 

“You live with Darhk? Your dad trying to take over the world too?”

“Too good to drink during the season like everyone else?”

“I bet your old team couldn't wait to get rid of you.”

An hour ago, before Nyssa put doubts and hesitations into her head, Sara would’ve been the first one to step in and tell Nyssa to shut up. She knew that as a friend, or as a captain, she should get up and switch seats with Ava. Or yell at Nyssa. Or send someone over there that would actually have the balls to stand up to Nyssa instead of listening silently like the rest of the alumni.

But no, Sara was scared. She was scared that stepping in would add fuel to the fire or that it would give off the impression that she was overprotective of Ava. She didn’t want to give Nyssa any more reason to think that she and Ava had something going on. Instead of thinking about her friend and how she felt, Sara was tied up in her own self-involved thoughts. 

“I can’t believe you let this stiff onto our team, Sara.” Nyssa finishes her thought with a light laugh and turns to Sara, raising her voice to include her as if looking for confirmation from the girl.

Sara watched as Ava also made eye contact with her. Ava, someone that had quickly gone from a pain in her ass to the type of friend that cared enough to tutor her and research a major for her, and that had made her laugh on the dance floor together less than 12 hours ago. She watched as that caring, kind friend interpreted Sara’s silence as confirmation that she agreed with what Nyssa was saying. 

And suddenly, Sara didn’t care about her self-doubts or what Nyssa had to say. All she knew was that Ava would have stood up for her if the roles were reversed and that was enough to snap her to attention. This was her team. Her players. And her friend.

She abruptly stood up from the table and glared at the former captain. “Nyssa, come with me. Now.”

The tension had been building between the two all day, and the table froze as it broke. Sara’s tone left no room for argument or debate and nobody had ever heard someone speak to the infamous former Siren like that. A collective breath of relief was let out by everyone at the table when Nyssa quietly got up and followed Sara without making more of a scene.

Nyssa entered the bathroom quietly behind Sara and was immediately met with a finger being shoved into her chest. 

“I can’t believe I have to ask this again, but what is your fucking deal, Nyssa?” Sara spoke in a quiet, whisper-like voice. She didn’t want the entire restaurant to be able to hear their conversation, but her quietness definitely didn’t mute her anger.

As usual, Nyssa was cool, calm, and collected in response. As if she found the conversation with Sara trivial. “I don’t know what you mean Sar.”

“Cut the bullshit for once. You’ve been out for blood today and I want an answer. Is this about me turning you down last night? Cause if so, then take it out on me. I don’t care if you’re jealous or just upset that someone finally said no to you, but I’m not putting up with your shit anymore. I already did that for a year too long.”

For once in her life, Nyssa was silent as Sara spoke. 

“What you said at the field was completely unfair, and frankly it’s none of your goddamn business what I do anymore. You made that very clear for me last year and now I’m making it clear for you. This is my team, not yours and I won’t have you coming back to ruin the only good thing I have left.”

Sara was in Nyssa’s face and a little breathless. For the second time in two days, Sara had said exactly what she really thought of Nyssa. The second of pride she had quickly ruined though, as Nyssa snapped back to life and let out a cold chuckle. 

“Oh please Sara, everything you do will always be my business. Obviously, you have something going on with that Ava girl or else you wouldn’t be in my face standing up for her. I just wanted to show her who she had to live up to.”

Sara stepped back from Nyssa and took a second to calm herself before speaking again. 

“I’ll say it one more time Nyssa. Whether I do or do not have something going on with anyone on this team, or anyone on this planet, is none of your business.” Sara started to turn and leave but stopped to make one more point before walking out of Nyssa’s life for good. “And for the record, Ava could be half the person she is and still outdo any _legacy_ you left behind on this team or in a relationship. She’s been a great friend to me this year and an even better player on the field. Something that I know you don’t understand. So keep your comments to a minimum so I don’t have to pick up the pieces you left of another member of this team.”

Nyssa started to speak again, no doubt to say something else sarcastic about Ava or try and get in Sara’s head about a relationship with Ava that she didn’t even have, but Sara was out the bathroom door without so much as glancing back. 

Her eyes instinctually looked for Ava’s when she got back to the table. Her eyebrows scrunched when the seat was empty, and she turned to Amaya and whispered. “Where’d Ava go?”

Amaya shrugged. “We’re not sure, she just kind of stormed out a second ago. Nora said it was probably better if we gave her some space.”

_Fuck that_ , Sara thought as she ran out the door after her. When she saw her in the parking lot getting into Nora’s car she yelled. “Ava! Wait!”

It was obvious that Ava didn’t have any desire to hear Sara’s pleas, but she stopped anyways and left the door open for Sara to approach.

“What do you want Sara? I’m not coming back in there. Team outing or not, I don’t deserve to be berated by an alumna. Especially one I don’t even know.”

“I know, I know. I wasn’t coming out here to drag you back in.” Sara sighed, looking more uncomfortable than Ava had seen her before. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I should’ve told Nyssa to stop earlier.”

“God, Sara, of course you should have!” 

Sara knew she screwed up, but hearing the hurt in Ava’s voice dug the knife in deeper. The silence hung thickly between them, neither wanting to make the situation worse. But neither wanted to walk away without some type of resolution.

Ava ran her fingers through her hair. “Sara, I confided in you. I told you how much it hurt to get run out of my last team. And just when I started to feel comfortable here, feel like maybe I found another group I could feel at home with, I became the target of some crazy alumna’s anger - for a reason that I don’t even understand - and you just sat there!”

It was clear that Ava was angry, but what hurt more was that she seemed so defeated. Sara had expected that if Nyssa’s taunting got too bad, Ava would stand up for herself or snap back like the countless times she did with Sara at the beginning of the season. But she put her faith in Sara to do the right thing and had assumed that Sara would be big enough to fight her own battles. And now, Ava just seemed defeated.

“Ava… I’m, I’m sorry. You definitely didn’t deserve that. Nyssa went after you because of her grudge against me and I should have taken a stand sooner than I did, but instead, I let her make me feel small again. Which is something I need to deal with, but the last thing I wanted was for you to get dragged into the crosshair because of my insecurities.”

Ava thought the apology was awkward and tense and sounded nothing like the Sara she had gotten used to. Things had been going well with Sara and she actually had fun at the party yesterday. Despite all the weirdness of the game and the awful brunch she just sat through, Ava wanted to accept the apology and return to the new normal they had found.

It also hurt to have a team member, former or not, say such petty things to her for no reason. It reminded her of how it felt towards the end of her time at ESU and she didn’t want to let Sara off the hook so easily for just letting it happen. Sara knew what the Sirens meant to her and she let it go on anyway. 

But she had apparently developed a soft spot for the captain. Ava shrugged, trying to wipe the frown off her face to ease just the littlest bit of Sara’s guilt. “It wasn’t like you were the one saying the stuff.”

Sara saw the range of emotions flash across Ava’s face. She could see her retreating again and she didn’t want that to happen. “But I should’ve been the one that stopped it. This is my team, and nobody gets to come in here and make any of my players uncomfortable. I’m sorry that my issue with Nyssa hurt you.”

Ava knew that Sara was really sorry about Nyssa’s behavior, but it still hurt. She knew it wasn’t completely Sara’s fault, but she wasn’t ready to let her off the hook yet. 

“I’m not going to say it’s okay Sara, but I get it. I just– I need some time.”

Sara just nodded and stepped back so that Ava could close the car door. She could keep pleading her case and saying she’s sorry, but the damage was already done. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------

Thankfully, there were only a couple weeks between Homecoming and thanksgiving break. Weeks that were filled with intense practices, extra lifting, final projects, and if you were lucky, sleep. After the break, everyone would jump into finals mode, and then the semester would be over and everyone would get a well deserved month-long break from campus.

Ava thought it was a blessing in disguise that everyone was so busy after the Nyssa debacle. There were no more parties planned or team outings which meant she could happily avoid Sara outside of practices and hopefully keep it up until the break, if not the end of the semester.

Things were weird between them now. Not like it was at the beginning of the year when they were at each other’s throat. Ava could have handled that. This awkwardness was more similar to post-breakup tension. The kind where you wanted to talk and hangout, but knew that you weren’t ready for it yet. 

She was purposely avoiding Sara on campus, trying to time getting in and out of her car so that she wouldn’t have to interact with any of her Chop Shop neighbors, and swiftly leaving the fields when practice was over. She even signed up for the 7 am lifting schedule so that she was sure Sara wouldn’t be there. 

Their interactions were stilted, like two people who once knew each other but didn’t know how to get back there.

After their brief fight in the IHOP parking lot, Ava took her space, and Sara respectfully did not try and apologize again or berate her for pulling away. It was exactly what she asked for from Sara and what she needed to feel like she got her footing back around the team. But a part of her had hoped she would reach out at least once. She wanted Sara to show her that she wasn’t going to turn her back on her so easily.

But Ava also knew feeling that way was unfair to Sara. She told her to give her time, and Sara did just that. 

Time passed without contact and when her anger and hurt had simmered down, it felt like it had been too long to approach Sara again. She didn’t know what to say or if she now had to apologize. Every time she picked up her phone to text the girl she got halfway through a message and then deleted it. No matter what she wrote it either sounded like she was blaming Sara or still mad at her 

Why didn’t you stand up to her? Definitely not that one.

Sorry that your ex-girlfriend sucks? No, still too harsh. 

I wish she didn’t get in the way of us becoming friends? No, that sounded too much like she was still upset. 

So instead Ava said nothing. And then November was almost over and Thanksgiving was two days away. At least she had agreed to spend the Holiday with Nora instead of having to deal with her parents for a week.

She had truly never been more thankful for the opportunity to fly away from Colorado.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I almost went back and changed this whole chapter to make Ava stand up to Nyssa, but I swear there's some method to the madness here and there's reasoning to this other than I needed another plot device to keep the slow burn going. There's a whole outline for the story and so much character growth and all that good good so I stuck with the original plan. Hopefully, y'all liked it but absolutely open to any feedback on it! 
> 
> Next chapter is Thanksgiving and then the one after that is Christmas. They're two of my favorite chapters but, and I'll put some warnings if/when necessary, things are going to get a little angsty with all the family holiday feelings. But Laurel is finally getting introduced so there's some silver lining! 
> 
> Thanks again for all the love in the comments and kudos ❤️


	12. Thankful for Holiday Breaks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Laurel is finally making an appearance woo! I never watched much of Arrow so her character may be a little OOC but I think that’s why I love writing her so much in this.
> 
> Alcoholism and unsupportive parents are tagged in this story, but just wanted to mention that this chapter and the next chapter will have a couple scenes where both things play a role in the discussions. If that’s something that makes you uncomfortable to read please let me know and I’d be happy to leave a mini summary at the end of the chapter about what was missed.
> 
> Happy reading!

Dinner with Nora and her parents was perfectly pleasant. There were no snide comments about becoming a doctor or rugby being a “boy’s sport” like there would have been if she spent Thanksgiving with her parents.

Damien Darhk, Nora’s father, was not known to be a kind man. He was first and foremost a businessman, and a father and husband second. He loved Nora, that much was obvious to anyone that saw the two interact, but he could be overbearing and extremely hard on Nora if he felt it was necessary. Ruvé Adams, Nora’s mother, did her best to make up for his lack of warmth. It wasn’t always enough but she was a better parent than either of Ava’s.

“Ava, sweetie, how are you liking CU so far?”

Ava smiled politely at the question. “It’s been great so far Mrs. Darhk. All of the professors are excellent and it’s great having Nora around again.”

“Still pre-med?” Damien asked.

“Yes sir.”

“Great career choice, I’m sure your parents are proud.”

“I believe they are.” Ava pushed her food around her plate, not wanting to think about the heaviness of that statement or what her parents really think.

Most of the dinner after that remained silent, with the occasional polite question from one of the Darhks. Ava could tell both Damien and Ruvé were on their best behavior for her visit though. She appreciated the reprieve and she was sure that Nora did too. As soon as dinner was over and they were excused, Nora and Ava quickly called an Uber and headed to a nearby diner.

“Well, that was painful.” Nora said climbing into the Uber.

Ava just laughed. “Please, I would take a stilted conversation with your parents over disapproving looks and ‘advice’ about my life from my parents any day.”

“They were only like that because you were around. Usually, it’s all ‘Nora doll, are you taking any business classes, the family business won’t run itself after I retire’ from dad and then mom just wants to know if I’ve found any nice boys.”

“Speaking of which, how are things with Ray?”

Nora rolled her eyes. “If by things with Ray you mean the occasional conversation about chemistry and awkward silence across a library table, then things are great.”

“You haven’t gotten him to talk about things not chemistry related yet?”

“I know he wants to, I can see the wheels turning inside his big head every time we’re together, I think he’s just nervous. He’s not picking up any of the hints I’m dropping.”

The girls arrived at the diner and grabbed a table near the back. It thankfully wasn’t overly crowded so they could relax without having to worry about running into anyone that Nora knew.

Ava continued their conversation, not wanting to let Nora off the hook about Ray just yet. “From what I’ve heard about him, he’s a pretty pure guy at heart so I would guess he doesn’t want to be presumptuous or make you uncomfortable. I think it’s going to have to be you that makes a move if you ever want the ball to get rolling.”

“Which I would be fine with if I was confident I wouldn’t get shot down. I just can’t read him at all.” Nora couldn’t help the smile that overtook her face. “He’s so nice to everyone that I can’t tell if he likes me or if he’s just being himself.”

“You’ve got it bad Nor.” Ava laughed at her friend.

Nora dropped her head onto the table and groaned. “I know.”

Their coffees and food arrived quickly and the topic shifted to classes, parents, and rugby. It was amazing how after years of not really seeing each other, the one semester back together made their friendship so easy.

Nora laughed at the thought of Gary as he came up. “I can’t believe he’s trying to sleep with John Constantine. I’ve told him like 100 times that it’s a bad idea, but he’s been ‘john this’ and ‘john that’ all semester so I don’t think my warning sunk in.”

“Isn’t that the guy he said he heard all that stuff about Sara from?” Ava asked, trying not to sound overly curious about anything to do with Sara’s life.

Nora raised a knowing eyebrow. “I think so. John’s been known to gossip and he especially loves to gossip when it involves Sara. I’m not sure if it’s a grudge or a romance gone bad, but he’s definitely weird about her.”

“Why is it such a bad idea for Gary to sleep with him?”

“Well he’s kind of a dirtbag, but more so I think that Gary will just end up hurt by him. John’s always trying to come off as this big player, and whether that’s true or not, I don’t think sweet Gary will handle that attitude about relationships well.”

“So, you’re not John’s biggest fan then?”

“I don’t know anyone that is really.”

Ava, still trying to sound casual, said “I’d be surprised if he and Sara had a thing then based on how you’re describing him.”

Nora couldn’t pass up the opportunity to return the teasing from earlier. “Oh, we’re defending Sara now?”

Ava knew that was coming, and really she shouldn’t have expected to be able to avoid talking about her and Sara for the whole break. Not that there was a her and Sara. They were just friends. Barely friends right now. “Not defending per se, but Sara deep down is a good person and he sounds kind of like the worst.”

Nora wanted to prod more. Ava was very tight-lipped when it came to the developing friendship between her and Sara. She didn’t even really mention the homecoming incident after the weekend ended and she has no idea what happened at the camping trip. It was like one minute they hated each other and the next she was catching them giving sideways glances and listening to their inside jokes at practice.

“How are you feeling about the whole homecoming situation? I know you kind of got the shit end of that stick from Sara and Nyssa.”

Ava let out a big sigh. “I’m not sure, honestly. Sara and I were actually in a good place, and obviously I had never met Nyssa before so I definitely didn’t go into the weekend expecting all of that from her. Sara did apologize, which I appreciated, but now we’re in that weird middle phase where neither of us knows how to get back to normal. Whatever normal means for us anyways.”

It wasn’t the full story, Nora could tell she was holding back something, but if Ava wasn’t ready to talk about how she really felt then Nora wasn’t going to push it. “Have you tried just texting her? This break from campus might be a good time to talk a little and get past that weirdness so you guys can go back to the different breed of weirdness that you had going on before.”

Ava had admittedly pulled out her phone more than a couple of times over the past week with the intention to text Sara. She felt bad how they left things before break, but she didn’t know what to say. It didn’t feel like they were at the texting-just-to-say-hey phase of their friendship yet so Sara would immediately know what it was about and it just all felt like a lot of pressure.

“I don’t know, it just feels like she should be the one to do it.” Nora gave her a _look_ that made Ava immediately feel like she had to justify herself. “Which isn’t coming from a petty place, I swear. But I told her I needed space and then she just gave up and now I don’t know.”

“You want to know she cares?”

“Yes! Thank you, you get it.”

What Nora really wanted to ask was _why_ Ava cared so much about how Sara felt and if it was Nora on the other side if she would be overthinking things as much. But Ava didn’t seem ready for those questions yet – or the answers.

“But it might make you feel better to just reach out and patch things up.”

Ava casually shrugged. “It’s not a big deal, I’m sure we can figure it out once we get back to campus.”

Nora definitely wasn’t buying Ava’s calm demeanor, but she knew her friend and if she pushed it then it would just drive her deeper into her own head about it. “As long as you can pull it together on the rugby field and win us that national championship, then do whatever you gotta do.”

Ava and Nora clinked their coffee cups together. “Cheers to that.” Ava said.

“You know Aves, I’m really glad you transferred to CU. Obviously I would have preferred to reunite under different circumstances, but I’m happy to have you back in my life.”

“You too Nor.” Ava smiled back, draping her arm around Nora as they headed out the door and back to Nora’s parents’ place.

____________________________________________________________

Thanksgiving break was weird for the Lance family because Quentin still had to work and they didn’t have much extended family so they ended up just doing dinner that Thursday and then it was like any other weekend after that. Sara was prepared to spend the next three days sleeping off her turkey coma and watching Netflix, but luckily Laurel did have off work that Friday, and the sisters decided to take a girl’s trip to one of their favorite coffee shops a couple of towns over.

In high school, whenever things would get really hectic and either one needed an escape from their family or the drama, they would come to this little corner shop. They didn’t know anyone in the area and they could sit for hours drinking hot chocolate or coffee and snacking on bakery items.

It was where Laurel told Sara that she was seeing Oliver after their dad forbid it, and where Sara told her that she was failing algebra her sophomore year of high school. It was where Sara told Laurel the first time she realized she had a crush on Caitlin from her science class and it was usually where Sara could find Laurel on the anniversary of their mom leaving.

It was their own secret haven away from reality.

They didn’t have nearly as many moments in the café after they went to college, but they still tried to go once a year around the holidays.

“How’s dad been?” Sara opens with as they sit down at their favorite table in the corner. Laurel just rolled her eyes at Sara’s question. She had moved back into the house after she graduated from law school to help her dad out and save up some money so she could get a place of her own. It wasn’t ideal, but she worked close by and her student loan payments were killing her so the savings were nice.

“You know exactly how he’s been Sar. He goes to work and then goes to the bars after with his buddies and comes home drunk. Not much has changed since you’ve been out of the house.”

“I thought he was getting better?”

“Yeah, he’s always getting better if you ask him.” Her voice was dripping with sarcasm and exhaustion.

Sara knew exactly what she meant though. He’d been planning to get sober or claiming he was drinking less every other month for most of their life since their mom left. Every couple of months he’d pull it together for a week and then fall right back into his usual pattern.

“He called me a few weeks back when he was drunk and gave me the usual bullshit, but then yesterday at dinner he seemed somewhat sober.”

Laurel cringed a bit at Sara’s hope. “I kind of laid into him about the fight you guys had and he said he was going to try for Thanksgiving. Seems like it worked, but I don’t think it’ll last, it never has before. He’ll probably be at the bar the same night you leave to head back.”

Sara ran her hand through her hair and sighed. She didn’t have the energy to get into that right now. She gave up hope a long time ago that her dad would finally pull the pieces back together after their mom left, but she couldn’t help that it rekindled just a bit whenever he tried. At least she could get a pleasant holiday every once and awhile.

“How’s stuff other than dad?”

Visibly relieved at the change in topic, Laurel laughed at the question. “You mean work? I don’t have much of a life outside of the firm honestly.”

“Workaholic. I always figured you and Olly would reunite after you moved home.”

Laurel scoffed. “Oliver Queen is not someone I want to date in adulthood. He’s got a good heart, but he has no ambition. He just wants to live off mommy and daddy’s money forever. I want someone that is passionate about what they do.”

Sara smiled at her sister. She always knew exactly what she wanted. “High standards Laur, but I wouldn’t expect anything less. Any luck finding a guy like that? Or you know, just dating and hooking up like a normal 26-year-old?”

“Ha ha Sar. Hooking up with randos is not for everyone thank you. But the dating luck has been admittedly low. Maybe once I’ve made more of a name for myself and actually get to leave the office before seven every night I can go out and find Mr. Wonderful. How are things on your end? Have you and Ava finally stopped beating around the bush and _resolved_ your tension.” Laurel punctuates the last part by wiggling her eyebrows.

Sara audibly scoffs, doing her best to hide the bright red that starts to creep up her neck. “God, no. Laur, we’re friends. Have you listened to anything I’ve said about our relationship?”

Laurel just stared back, knowing that if she left enough silence Sara’s nerves would take over and she would just keep talking.

Sara tried to resist Laurel’s “mom glare,” but as usual, it was too much.

“Okay so maybe the thought did cross my mind once for like a second while we were dancing at Homecoming, but then Satan went and ruined everything.”

“Woah, woah, wait what was that now?”

“I told you Nyssa came back.”

“No, not that part.”

Sara groaned, she should not have admitted that out loud. Now it was real and even worse, she had to explain it to her sister. “It was just like a second. We were having fun and I was showing her how to dance and then someone bumped into me and I couldn’t help but think how easy it would’ve been to just kiss her. But it was just the heat of the moment.”

“Sure.”

“It was.”

“I bet.”

“Laurel, stop it.”

“I haven’t said anything Sara. It’s _totally_ normal to think about kissing your frenemy while you’re totally sober in the middle of a crowded dance floor. Could happen to anyone.”

Sara deadpanned. “We’re just friends.” But then she thought about the lack of communication and Ava asking for space. “Or we were at least. Now I’ll be lucky if we don’t revert back to how things were at the beginning of the year.”

Laurel reached across the table to grab Sara’s hand. “I don’t think that will happen Sara. Once people have seen the vulnerable and emotionally damaged side of you they tend to stick around.”

Sara rolled her eyes, easily letting her sister’s teasing roll-off. “You make me sound like a real catch there Laur. I don’t think I’m _damaged._ ”

“You know what I mean.” Laurel tapped Sara’s hands with her own and then leaned back into her chair. “You apologized, now you just need to work through the uncomfortable phase. Why don’t you try texting her this break about rugby or something? Once you get back to old habits then you guys will move on like homecoming never happened. Trust me. It’s not like you can just never see her again.”

“I don’t know. Maybe. I’ll think about it.” Sara shifted topics again. “Have you seen Thea or Tommy since you’ve moved back home?”

And the girls were off talking about childhood friends and how things had changed around the neighborhood. Sara could never imagine living back home, but there was something comforting about sitting here with her sister and talking about the people they’ve known forever.

____________________________________________________________

When the weekend rolled around, Sara was laying in her childhood bedroom, bored out of her mind and thinking of plays that she could try and talk Ava into running when they got back to campus next week. Although the official season had come to a close, Gideon still expected the two of them to be working together to get ready for the spring. Plus they lived next door to each other so she was inevitably going to have to see Ava again.

Things were definitely tense between them when they left campus. After the blow-up with Nyssa, and Sara’s awkward apology, they had spoken very little.

Sara wanted to give her space like she asked for, but she was also dying to make sure that Ava wasn’t overthinking everything and creating space between them in her own head. Sara didn’t want to go back to how they were before the camping trip. It was nice not to be at each other’s throats all the time. They had bonded on that trip and started to tear down those giant walls between them.

The more Sara thought about it though, it wasn’t just Ava that needed to open up. Sara hadn’t let anyone into her inner circle in so long, it felt like she forgot how to be vulnerable with new friends. She’d had Zari and Nate, and the rest of the gang had so naturally joined that she just didn’t think it was necessary to keep opening up to people. And then she had tried with Nyssa and that had ended _so_ well, so she clammed back up. 

But Ava had been different, at least so far. It seemed like maybe they needed each other to let themselves relax and make new friends again. The small steps towards friendship felt good and Sara didn’t want her stupid mistakes at homecoming to mess that up.

Sara sighed as she picked up her phone and gave into Laurel’s advice. She couldn’t avoid Ava forever and it had to be her to start the conversation again.

____________________________________________________________

** Ava Sharpe **

**_Today_ ** _1:28 PM_

**Sara Lance (1:28):**

Ava!

**Sara Lance (1:28):**

I have the best idea for a play we should run

**Ava Sharpe (1:40):**

Sara! 

**Ava Sharpe (1:41):**

We’re not even playing rugby right now, I feel like this can wait a week

**Sara Lance (1:41):**

I just got excited :(

**Ava Sharpe (1:42):**

Okay what is it?

**Sara Lance (1:44):**

I can hear the eye roll from here but I’m gonna choose to ignore it

and continue anyways

**Sara Lance (1:44):**

It’s a switch play off a lineout with the fullback and the fullback

runs into the line and takes the ball instead of the flyhalf who is

on the outside

**Sara Lance (1:44):**

……

**Sara Lance (1:45):**

On second thought, I think this play will probably involve a

drawing. Maybe I should’ve waited until we were in person

**Ava Sharpe (1:45):**

I won’t say I told you so, but I’m intrigued

to hear it when we get back next week

____________________________________________________________

Sara set down her phone, happy to let that be the end of the conversation. She wasn’t sure what else to say and she didn’t want to ask about Ava’s break and make it seem like she was trying to drag out the conversation. She had opened the door and if Ava wasn’t ready to forgive Sara yet, she was more than willing to accept that and keep giving her space.

A few minutes passed and Sara let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding when he phone vibrated again.

____________________________________________________________

**Ava Sharpe (1:49):**

Shouldn’t you be hanging with your family? Why are you thinking about plays?

**Sara Lance (1:50):**

Rugby > Family

**Ava Sharpe (1:51):**

Hard to argue with that

**Ava Sharpe (1:52):**

Super glad not to be home with my own family

**Sara Lance (1:53):**

How are things with Nora and her family?

**Ava Sharpe (1:54):**

They’re okay, it’s nice spending the holidays with Nora, but I don’t

think either of us especially want to be here

**Sara Lance (1:57):**

I get that. I love seeing my sister but I could take or leave being

back home

**Ava Sharpe (1:57):**

Are Nate and Zari around? Must be nice to have friends at home still

**Sara Lance (1:59):**

I haven’t actually seen them much. Zari is one of the special few that

get along with her family so I never see her much over the holidays

but I actually think they may have gone out of state to visit family this

year. Delayed birthday celebration for Z 

**Sara Lance (2:00):**

And Nate is spending thanksgiving with Amaya’s family

**Ava Sharpe (1:59):**

I can’t imagine what a holiday with Charlie is like 

**Sara Lance (2:00):**

I’d prefer not to

**Ava Sharpe (2:03):**

Well, have a good rest of your break Sara, I’ll see you next week and

we can go over that play some more

**Sara Lance (2:04):**

Sounds good. Have a good rest of your break as well!

Tell Nora I said hey

____________________________________________________________

Sara groaned and threw her phone down on her bed. The conversation went better than she hoped, which was probably due to the fact that it happened over texting and there was only so much awkward tension that could be conveyed through a text message.

She wasn’t ready for it to be over though, a feeling that Sara was definitely not used to having. The weeks that passed without Ava had been stressful because of the looming anxiety over the situation, but Sara had also gotten used to their weekly study dates and the conversations about nothing. Sara didn’t realize it until after they had stopped speaking, but Ava was integrated into every part of her life now and things just felt emptier without her around.

But their conversation was over, and now Sara was bored again. She grabbed her laptop and turned on New Girl to pass the time.

The rest of the day passed with most of the same. Sara left her room to grab some food and water but spent most of the break watching Netflix and doodling new plays to run through with Ava when they got back to campus. She was desperately trying to avoid her dad so that she could have just one holiday without an argument between them, and Laurel was busy at the office despite it being a holiday and a weekend.

She had only briefly heard from her friends Sunday morning. 

____________________________________________________________

** Future Eagles **

**_Today_ ** _11:15 AM_

**Ray (11:15):**

Hope everyone had a good holiday break!!

**Nate (11:16):**

Thanks buddy! It’s been nice spending a holiday with Amaya and her family

**Sara (11:19):**

Eh mine was exactly as expected

**Amaya (11:21):**

Ours was nice as well! Nothing too wild in our house at the holidays other

than Charlie just being Charlie. Mom and Dad love having Nate around

**Charlie (11:21):**

Proper fun with mom and pop as always

**Ray (11:24):**

Sara I heard from a little birdie that you’ve had a better break than normal

**Zari (11:27):**

What little bird?

**Zari (11:27):**

Ray is it Nora?

**Zari (11:27):**

Also yeah, holiday was great. Loved seeing my

brother as always

**Nate (11:29):**

Nora?! Ray, buddy! Have you guys been texting a lot?

**Ray (11:30):**

Just here and there. Mostly about some assignments due after break.

She mentioned that Ava and Sara had been texting a bit though

**Zari (11:30):**

SARA

**Zari (11:30):**

Are you guys besties now

**Zari (11:31):**

Have you replaced me

**Sara (11:34):**

So dramatic Z.

**Sara (11:34):**

We talked about something for the team and then we exchanged

some expected holiday pleasantries. Nothing to sound the

alarm about

**Amaya (11:36):**

That’s great to hear Sara! I’m glad you guys have finally gotten past

all of your issues 

**Charlie (11:37):**

She’s hot

**Charlie (11:37):**

Can I hit on her now

**Zari (11:39):**

Do you have an off button

**Charlie (11:41):**

Why do you lot keep asking that

**Sara (11:42):**

No dating within the team

**Sara (11:44):**

I’d hardly call us friends, we just no longer want to punch each other

**Zari (11:45):**

Progress is progress

**Zari (11:45):**

But if I’m supposed to be friends with her now I need to know

**Zari (11:46):**

Hard to keep up with who we’re supposed to like and hate nowadays

**Sara (11:47):**

Z you don’t have to dislike someone just because I do

**Nate (11:52):**

I tried telling her that in September

**Zari (11:54):**

I’m loyal to a fault what can I say

**Charlie (11:55):**

You’re nuts

**Sara (12:02):**

^^^^ what she said

**Zari (12:03):**

Rude. See if I support your ridiculous rivalry next time

**Sara (12:04):**

It wasn’t a rivalry! And I didn’t start it

**Amaya (12:06):**

But we’re past it now so it doesn’t matter, right guys?

**Sara (12:06):**

Exactly

____________________________________________________________

She was about to reluctantly return to mindlessly watching TV when she felt her phone buzz again. She wasn’t expecting anyone else to send her a message so she was confused when Ray’s named popped up on her screen.

____________________________________________________________

**Boy Genius**

**_Today_ ** _1:38 pm_

 **Boy Genius** (1:38):

Hey, Nora mentioned that it was Ava’s birthday tomorrow and I know

with finals and everything you guys probably won’t throw a party, but

I’m sure it’d be nice if you did something small

 **Boy Genius** (1:40):

Might help resolve some of the post-Nyssa tension (;

 **Sara** (1:41):

Thanks for letting me know Ray!

____________________________________________________________

Sara could kiss Ray for the heads up. Although the smiley definitely made it feel like he had some alternative motives behind letting her know, she was glad to have an opportunity to do something nice for Ava. The team definitely didn’t have the time to throw a party, not that Ava would ever want that much of an event anyways, but Sara knew she had to do something small for her.

She smiled to herself as she pulled a browser on her phone. She knew just what to get her.

Sara was thrilled later that night when she was due to return to campus. She was probably part of very few students that wanted the break to be over so they could get back and she could be surrounded by friends again. She knew that being back on campus meant it was time to face finals, but it was worth it to get out of her house.

She pulled into her driveway the same time that Ava and Nora did. Sara waved from a distance, not wanting to push things between her and Ava. The first post-fight conversation was over but she’d give it until tomorrow.

“A wave, wow things are really heating up between you two.” Nora said to Ava as they carried their bags up to the house. “I can feel the heat from here.”

They paused briefly to pick up the mail, and Ava grabbed a package with her name on it. Still confused she mumbled back to her friend. “Shut up Nora.”

Ava took her bags up to her room and dropped them on the bed as she opened up the package. Inside the box, the mysterious gift was wrapped with a note taped to the top. It didn’t say who it was from, but Ava just knew.

_Happy birthday – S_

She opened up the box and pulled out a white mug with the words “World’s Best Tutor” in red across the front. Ava didn’t know how Sara found out that it was her birthday, but she couldn’t help the smile that took over her face at the cheesy gift.

Ava pulled out her phone and sent Sara a quick thank you text before heading back downstairs to put the mug in the cabinet with the rest of her and Nora’s numerous coffee cups.

Nora didn’t seem to notice what Ava was doing when she walked back into the kitchen. Which Ava was thankful for because she could not take anymore grilling from her friend.

“I was just teasing before Aves. I’m glad you and Sara are back to whatever level of friendship you had before hurricane Nyssa came through. Now let’s get lunch, I’m STARVING.”

Ava smiled, putting her phone back into her pocket without waiting for a response from Sara, and followed her friend back out to the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure I loved this chapter tbh, but the next chapter makes up for it! 
> 
> Do y’all like the texting conversations? They’re kind of heavy in this chapter because everyone is scattered for the holidays but I can change conversations into phone calls for the future if we’re not into it. 
> 
> Thoughts, comments, feelings? Let me know!


	13. Christas Cheer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little warning before this chapter gets rolling – I know that holidays and family relationships can be triggering for some people & we’re going to see a lot of that in this chapter. If you’re not comfortable with reading about people being upset with their family at Christmas time – especially if it’s related to alcoholism – I would say maybe skip this chapter, or at least from the second break until Ava says “wait, it’s her birthday.” 
> 
> I’d be happy to summarize things for anyone that needs it!
> 
> So, sorry in advance for how heavy it gets, but also not sorry at all because I weirdly love how things start to turn for our ladies in this chapter.
> 
> Okay, that’s it. Happy reading!

Somehow, the second that Ava and Sara got together to go over the new plays that Sara had come up with over break, all the tension faded and they fell right back into their budding friendship. There wasn’t really much rugby going on for them to fall back on in their conversations, so both girls were relieved at how easy it was to return to the way things were before homecoming.

Tutoring resumed as well, with Ava taking on less of a role as a tutor, and instead, keeping Sara accountable for studying for finals. She had her own finals to worry about, but she was happy to pester Sara every week about making sure that she was in the library hard at work.

The two were currently holed up in a study room in the library as they had been for the entire finals period. The team had been sharing one or two rooms, with no less than two people in the room at a time for the entirety of the two weeks. Study rooms were impossible to come by, but the Sirens always made sure to rotate out and keep the room occupied so that they all had somewhere, and someone, to study with.

But finals were winding down, and Sara and Ava were the only two left on campus, so now it was just the two of them studying silently near each other. Every once and a while one of them would pick their head up and ask a question, or voice a thought aloud just to make them feel less stressed, but it was mostly the room was filled with silence and the frantic turning of pages.

Ava wasn’t going to admit it to Sara, but she was proud of how hard Sara was working to get good grades this semester. It seemed like she was really putting in the hours for her finals and she had become more comfortable with asking people for help when she needed it since she started tutoring her. She knew that Sara had the work ethic, she’d seen it every day this semester when it came to rugby, but knowing how hard the girl struggled with academics and seeing her push through that to really work for her grades this semester was shining a new light on who Sara was for Ava.

When she wanted something, there was no stopping Sara and Ava couldn’t help the warm feeling that erupted deep in the pit of her stomach thinking about how much she admired her for just that.

Evidently though, what she wanted right now was a break because she picked her head up and closed her book with slightly too much force.

“I can’t do this anymore, I need normal human interaction.”

Ava scoffed. “Am I not enough for you?”

“Oh shut up, you know what I mean.”

“It’s only 2 pm Lance, we still have a couple more hours to get through before we can call it a day.”

Sara pursed her lips, a clear sign that she had a plan to propose. “How about we take a break and go get lunch somewhere. Some social interaction with people outside the world of study room 12E could do us some good.”

Ava sighed, but somehow Sara was always right. So, she closed her book and grabbed her wallet. “Fine, but no more than an hour.”

“Deal.” Sara jumped up, happy for the freedom to think about things other than school work for an hour and the two walked towards the pizza place on campus. “Any fun plans for break?”

Ava shook her head. “Nope. I was planning to watch a lot of TV and order a lot of pizza. Hopefully, get some workouts in at the gym, but I think it’ll be closed without any students on campus so I’ll have to figure out someplace else to work out. Maybe head down to the fields and do some sprints.”

Sara stopped, grabbing Ava’s arm to stop her too. “What do you mean? Are you not going home?”

“Nope. My parents are off in god knows what country and I didn’t feel like spending another forced holiday with them where my mom would tell me all the things wrong with how I’m living my life so I told them I was going to a friend’s house instead.” Ava shrugged like spending the holiday break alone was no big deal while Sara continued to stare back at her in silence.

“They didn’t really ask any questions, I think they were happy not to have to pay for the flight honestly. And the Darhks are overseas for the holidays or else I would’ve just gone home with Nora again.”

The Lance family isn’t perfect, but Sara couldn’t imagine spending the holidays without her family. Well, mostly her sister, but still. “You’re not going to miss having your family around?”

Ava raised an eyebrow, surprised at such a personal question. Despite Ava’s promise to try harder and the growing feeling of comradery between them, they hadn’t crossed any lines into personal territory yet. But Ava knew that if she shirked off Sara’s first attempt at showing that she cared Sara would be too proud to try again, plus it seemed like she was genuinely a little concerned. So Ava gave an honest answer instead of whatever she would usually say to placate someone’s unease about her relationship with her parents.

“My parents and I don’t have the best relationship. I told you a little about it with the whole pre-med thing, but honestly, that was just scratching the surface. It’s probably going to be a better two-week break for everyone if I stay here and they get to do what they want. No forced conversation or disappointment this way.”

Sara kind of word vomited the question out and didn’t want to take it back once she saw that Ava wasn’t put off by it, but she was surprised at the vulnerability in Ava’s answer. “I get the sense that you don’t want me to say ‘I’m sorry’ or throw any type of pity your way so I’ll just say, I get what that feels like and it’s pretty cool that you had the balls to do what you needed for you.”

Ava’s face lit up with relief. It was refreshing to talk to someone about it, other than Nora, who really got it and didn’t make her feel worse. Sara Lance just kept on surprising her.

Sara seemingly interpreting Ava’s silence as a negative response, continued talking with her eyes staring in a hard line forward so she couldn’t see Ava’s face. 

“Christmas time at the Lance house isn’t full of rainbows and unicorns either. Things with my dad are less than perfect. Ever since my mom left when I was a kid it just hasn’t been the same, well mostly he hasn’t been the same. Especially now that Laurel and my dad are always at each other’s throats and I’m home as little as possible. So holidays always just end up being a couple of awkward dinners and then we all go our separate ways.”

Ava bumped Sara’s shoulder as they kept walking through campus. It was easier for both of them to keep talking if they did so without eye contact, but Ava still wanted to show some physical manifestation of the fact that she hears Sara and she gets it. The shoulder bumped seemed like the best option. 

“The joys of family, right? Almost makes me wish I had a significant other, or siblings, or something to work as a buffer with my family.”

Sara paused and grabbed Ava’s arm again, turning to look at her now that the moment was over. “Actually, wait that’s not a bad idea. Why don’t you come with me for Christmas this year?”

“Sara what, I don’t know–”

“It’ll be perfect.” Sara continued, excited at the idea and not sensing Ava’s hesitation at all. “That way you don’t have to spend the holidays alone and I don’t have to be alone with mine.”

It was a more tempting offer than Ava wanted to admit, but she was definitely worried about the potential for an incredibly awkward week stuck with Sara in her childhood home. “You’re sure that your family will be cool with that? I don’t want to be the random stranger in your dad’s house on Christmas if that’s gonna make things weird. I could’ve just gone to meet my parents if I wanted awkwardness.”

Sara easily waved her concerns off. “I swear it’ll be fine. My dad will probably be thrilled to know I have actual friends at school and I think you’d weirdly get along well with my sister. Plus, I totally owe you after the tutoring and the Nyssa bullshit and really a ton of other things this semester. And you’re more than welcome to leave at any time if it gets to be too much. You can take my car and I’ll have Laurel drop me off when the break is over.”

Sara paused again, but it was clear that she hadn’t sold Ava on the idea just yet.

“Come on Aves, what kind of friend would I be if I let you stay here all by yourself when I live 40 minutes away?”

The casual nickname that slipped from Sara’s mouth didn’t escape Ava’s attention. It was the same one she had used at homecoming – pre-Nyssa, of course. She thought that it sounded nice, like the friendship that she’d been missing, and how could she say no to that?

Ava let out a happy sigh, letting Sara know that she was sold. “Okay, I’m definitely intrigued by what the Lance family is like, and I can always just come back to campus if things get too weird right?”

“Absolutely, but I swear they won’t.”

———————————————————————————————

After their finals were over, the girls packed up Sara’s car and drove the 40 minutes south to her dad’s house in Denver. Ava hadn’t left campus very much since the semester began so she was happy to see some parts outside of Boulder and Sara was happy to point out landmarks, personal and otherwise, as they drove.

When they got to the Lance house, Sara was relieved to find her family hadn’t returned from work yet and they could have some time to settle in. Sara showed her the basics, and let her set up her stuff upstairs in Sara’s bedroom.

Laurel came home with takeout for the four of them, and the group sat around the dinner table, in somewhat comfortable silence, each picking at their own meals. Sara couldn’t remember the last time her sister and dad were this quiet. She wasn’t sure if it was a little awkward for them having another person in the house or if they just didn’t know how to interact without screaming at each other. Either way, Sara was grateful that Ava’s presence was making the holidays a bit more pleasant.

After pushing around her broccoli for a couple of minutes, Laurel cleared her throat a looked at Ava. “So, Ava, Sara tells me you’re pre-med?”

Sara threw a look at Laurel, trying to silently convey her annoyance at her sister’s question.

“I wasn’t aware Lance was talking about me to her family,” Ava said good-naturedly, sending Sara a teasing smile to let her know the question was okay. Her smile fell a bit as she turned back to Laurel, but not enough to make anyone uncomfortable. “But yes, pre-med. Just like Mom and Dad picked out for me.”

“You don’t like it?” Laurel asked with genuine curiosity.

Ava’s smile returned, happy to talk about her major outside the context of her parents. “Actually, I love it. The human body is so fascinating it’s hard not to fall in love with the classes once you really get into them and there are so many different avenues within pre-med that are interesting. I don’t think that I want to go to medical school or anything, but I definitely want to be working with people somehow in the future.”

Laurel, being who she is, wasn’t ready to let it go just yet. “You don’t think your parents would be okay with that?”

Sara jumped in, knowing it wasn’t a super great subject for Ava. “Laur, maybe give her some breathing room here. This isn’t a courtroom.”

“No that’s okay Sara,” Ava said, gently touching her thigh under the table to let her know she really meant that and then looked back towards Laurel. “My parents are complicated, and my relationship with them is arguably more complicated. They’re not bad people but they are definitely pushers that have very high standards. They think if someone isn’t a doctor, or a lawyer, or serving their country overseas then they’re not contributing to society in a meaningful way. So, it’s not that they wouldn’t be okay with it, but I just have to be ready to deal with the looks and the comments for the rest of my life. They’re already not super on board with rugby and they just pretend that my dating life is non-existent. At least if I’m still pre-med then it gives us something to talk about.”

Ava mentioned here and there the strained relationship with her parents, but this was the first time she was hearing more details on it. Her gut reaction was to stand up and yell that she was too good for them anyway and make sure that Ava never felt that way around her or the team again. But more so, she wanted to ask a hundred more questions and learn everything there was about Ava.

Sara was still trying to process the new feeling when her dad chimed in to the conversation, simultaneously saving her from her inner monologue and making things so much worse.

“I think that’s enough of the cross-examination Laur. I’m just glad Sara here actually brought a girl home for the holidays.”

“Oh my god. Dad, seriously?” Sara buried her face in her hands.

Laurel’s face lit up with pure joy and the chance to embarrass her sister. “Oh, me too! I thought for sure she’d be bringing Alex home if she ever got the guts to bring anyone here.”

Sara just buried her head further in her hands.

Ava raised an eyebrow at Sara when she looked up. “Alex? As in Danvers?”

Laurel grabbed Ava’s arm. “You haven’t heard about this yet?” Ava shook her head. “Well, freshman year our little Sara here had a one-night thing with Alex and then was absolutely smitten for months about it. It was adorable. Until she met she who shall not be named, we were all totally team Alex.” Laurel leaned closer to Ava to whisper conspiratorially. “We still are.”

“Laurel! I was _not_ smitten.” Sara felt like she was going to die of embarrassment. Ava was just chuckling, clearly finding a lot of amusement in Sara’s pain.

Laurel just continued. “Ignore her, she totally was. I thought she was gonna graduate still hung up on her. I could never get her to date anyone else.”

Sara turned to Ava mostly but spoke to the whole table. “Okay, for the record, Alex and I are very good _friends_ now, and only friends. And with that said, we’re changing topics. Laurel, how’s work?”

With the tension broken and conversation flowing more naturally, luckily without any more embarrassing Sara stories, the rest of the evening went well. Better than Sara hoped for really.

After dinner, Sara and Ava settled on the couch in the living room while her dad and sister went out to meet up with their respective friends.

Sara put on New Girl while Ava was deep in thought about their dinner conversation. She didn’t want to upset Sara or give away that she had heard rumors about the girl, but she was a little confused about things. Friends asked about this stuff, right?

“Sara?” Ava tried getting the other girl’s attention.

Sara didn’t take her eyes off the TV. “What’s up?”

“I had some questions about dinner and what your family was saying about Alex and dating.”

“Ah, I knew that would come up.” Sara paused the TV now and turned towards Ava. “Shoot.”

Ava was a little embarrassed. “I just, I had heard some things, from some people, about your dating life, and after what your sister said I’m a little confused now.”

Sara just sighed. “Well, obviously I knew you’d heard some rumors after our run-in at Nora’s birthday party —”

“Still sorry about that, by the way.”

“I know.” Sara smiled comfortingly and then cleared her throat to continue. “It’s no secret that things between Nyssa and I were bad. Like a comically bad ending to a fairly toxic relationship. And it’s even less of a secret that I didn’t cope well with the ending. I kind of went on a bender and slept with someone I definitely should not have. I didn’t really think much of it at the time, it was just a stupid drunken mistake that I take 100% responsibility for, but this person happened to be John Constantine. He’d had a thing for me since freshman year and I kept telling him no, but he caught me at a really bad time in my life and it just felt nice to be wanted after Nyssa so I slept with him. The next morning, I guess he was expecting us to get together or something because he did not take it well when I told him it was just a drunk hookup. Since then he’s been telling anyone that will listen how many people I’ve slept with and how terrible of a person I am.”

“Sara, I’m so sorry, if I would’ve known I never would have said anything about it at Nora’s party. John Constantine sounds like he deserves to have his ass kicked.”

Sara shook her head. “I don’t want to put all the blame on him. Yes, he was definitely in the wrong and lashed out, but I did sleep with him and I didn’t handle myself well last summer, heartbreak aside. I know the rumors are still floating around campus, but the important people know the truth and that’s all I really care about.”

“You’re being very mature about this situation.” Ava tilted her head to look at Sara.

Sara chuckled, mostly to herself. “You should’ve seen me when I decided to get my shit together and stop moping about Nyssa. I guess Zari decided that I was finally stable enough to hear about the rumors going around and I nearly tracked John down and ripped his head off.”

Ava smiled at that, sounding more like the Sara she knew. “What changed?”

“Well for one, he wasn’t on campus when I found out so I had calmed down a lot by the time he was back.” They both laughed at that and Sara continued. “But mostly I worked really hard on letting go. I didn’t want to come into this year angry about things I couldn’t change. I spent the rest of the summer accepting things, leaving Nyssa behind, and focusing on rugby. Then when the season started our little feud was a really nice distraction from everything else and I kind of just forgot about it.”

“I’m glad our ‘feud’ was good for something.” Ava gave her a friendly smack on the shoulder.

“Seriously though, it really did distract me. When Nyssa came back for homecoming and tried to get under my skin all over again, I realized that I hadn’t thought about her in months. I honestly think it pissed her off when she finally grasped that I had moved on without her.”

Ava scoffed. “Good. She deserved that.”

“Can’t argue with you there.” Sara stood up off the couch and stretched. “Let’s head upstairs to bed. Wouldn’t want to stay up too late and miss presents from Santa.”

They both laughed and headed upstairs. Sara set up an air mattress on the floor of her room since she was still stuck with her twin bed from childhood, and they got ready for bed. After a quick fight about who was sleeping on the floor, that Ava obviously won, Ava laid there with a smile on her face thinking about how _welcome_ she felt in the Lance household and how good it felt to have that feeling again. Whether it was the girl next to her or the unfamiliar feeling of a successful family dinner, she wasn’t sure.

But when she looked over at Sara, who had instantly fallen into a deep sleep, she knew that she was unbelievably thankful that she took a chance on transferring to CU, joining the Sirens, and opening up to Sara Lance.

———————————————————————————————

Sara woke up feeling hopeful after the previous one that she would finally have a good holiday with her family. Which should have been the first clue that something was going to go horribly wrong.

Christmas Day was supposed to mean presents, a less awkward lunch with her family and Ava, and then hanging out by the fire and watching Christmas movies together without a care in the world.

But any hope of that blissful idea of a day went right out the window when Sara and Ava strolled downstairs and immediately felt the tension radiating from Laurel. The mood was so tense that Sara nudged Ava and just nodded towards the upstairs letting Ava know that she should probably just head back up and let Sara work everything out with her family.

Laurel was sitting in the kitchen, her dad on the couch watching TV.

“Laur?” Sara asked hesitantly. She could see that Laurel's face had dried tear marks on it. “What happened?”

Laurel’s voice was still a little shaky. “Dad is drunk. Again. He came home this morning reeking of booze and obviously still on one from last night. I didn’t even bother asking him how he got here. But he walked in wishing me a Merry Christmas and I just snapped Sar. I couldn’t spend another holiday with him pretending that everything was okay when it’s not.”

Sara couldn’t blame her sister. Thanksgiving had been good, and yesterday went well, so both of them had apparently gotten their hopes a little too high that Quentin was going to get through a whole week of family time without ruining it. Sara could feel her whole body light up with anger and disappointment as she looked between her visibly distraught sister and her irritably peaceful dad.

_God, why did he always have to do this?_

“Fuck. I can’t do it either Laur. I’m kicking him out until he sobers up.” Sara stood up from the table, shaking Laurel’s hand off when she tried to grab her hand.

Sara stormed into the living room, shutting the TV off and staring at her dad. “I don’t want you in the house while you’re like this.”

Quentin had the audacity to look startled by the sudden intrusion from his daughter. “What are you doing Sara?”

“No dad, what the fuck are you doing? You stumble into the house on Christmas morning, still drunk from the night before. Don’t you care that what you’re doing hurts us?”

Quentin just sat there. Sara couldn’t even tell if the silence meant he was really hearing what she was saying or he was just too drunk to comprehend it. Either way, Sara didn’t have the patience for it this morning.

“It’s Christmas and I only want to spend it with the family that matters to me. So get out, or I’m calling one of your friends from the station, or Mr. Merlin, or literally anyone that will physically remove you.”

Laurel stood behind Sara, tears flowing freely, arms wrapped tightly around her body. Ava had snuck back downstairs when the yelling started and promptly enclosed her arms around Laurel. She wanted to be there to support them in the best way that she knew how, and Laurel really looked like she could use a shoulder to lean on while Sara and Quentin fought.

Quentin looked behind Sara to Laurel, and then back at Sara. Sara thought for a second he was going to try and defend himself, or argue back, but he let his shoulders sag and walked out the front door without another word.

The second he was gone, Sara locked the door and walked up to her room without even looking back at her sister.

Sara could feel Laurel and Ava staring at her as she walked upstairs. She could feel that her sister needed her right now. But she just couldn’t. Not yet. Not until she had a moment to herself to process _what the hell_ just happened. She wanted to so badly to be the strong sister and go back downstairs and tell Laurel everything was going to be okay and that dad would be back. But Sara was just so damn angry right now, tears washing over her face, that she couldn’t be that person for Laurel.

And she didn’t even know where Ava was or what she heard so she knew that she’d have to explain everything to her at some point. But right now all she wanted to do was bury herself under her covers until she calmed down.

Downstairs, Laurel let Ava hold her for another minute or so after Sara ran upstairs. When she realized that Sara wasn’t coming back down, she turned to Ava, still whipping her eyes. “Give her time. She won’t admit it, but no matter how many times it happens, it really gets to Sara when Dad is like this. Especially Christmas. It’s not fair that her birthday is ruined every year on top of the holiday.”

“Wait,” Ava started to internally panic. “It’s her birthday?”

Despite the situation, a small smile crossed Laurel’s face. Her baby sister was so predictable. “Sara doesn’t like to talk about her birthday. I’m sure you’ve gleaned from our adorable family interaction, but Christmas is a tough one for us. It’s when Mom left and every year without fail, Dad ruins it. I don’t even know the last time we celebrated her birthday more than just the two of us and a shitty cake.”

Ava’s heart broke for Sara.

Laurel spoke softly, still holding onto Ava. “That look right there is why she doesn’t tell anyone. She doesn’t want people’s pity, which I know you get and I’m sure you would never look at her like that. But I just want you to know that Sara is so much stronger than she lets on. She carries the weight of this family and that team and she’s so afraid to ask for help or show weakness. For whatever reason, she loops her birthday into that. So, she’s never going to tell you about it. And frankly, she’d probably kill me for telling you about it either.”

Ava nodded, understanding completely what Laurel meant. “I already had so much respect for her as a captain and a person. I could never look at her with anything like pity. She just needs to be shown that the people around her want to help take some of that burden from her. I’ve been doing my best to get that through to her with her school work. Maybe that was the first step she needed.”

“I think the first step she needed was having someone like you in her life to push her out of those boxes Ava.”

“I don’t know Laurel, Sara and I are—”

“Barely even friends. I know, I know. Sara has told me that at least 100 times. But that’s bullshit and you both know it. I’m tired of hearing both of you dance around your friendship like you’re afraid of what saying that word means. You guys have done so much for each other this semester, you’re friends. Good friends. And I’m glad that Sara has someone in her life like you.”

Ava shook her head, ready to jump in and deny it and tell Laurel that she didn’t see them at each others’ throats for weeks, or hear the mean things they said to each other, or the passive aggressive comments. But she realized that she and Sara were _friends_. Despite their rocky start, she had learned more about Sara in the past 10 weeks than any of her teammates from ESU in two years. And she had opened more to Sara than almost anyone she’d met in her life.

She trusted Sara, and right now, Sara needed that.

“Thank you, Laurel.” She went to turn towards the stairs but quickly turned back to Laurel. “Do you want me to stay with you? We can watch a stupid Christmas movie and bake cookies or something?”

Laurel smiled at Ava. “That’s sweet, thank you for the offer, but you should go find Sara and check in with her. I’ll be okay.”

Ava nodded and went upstairs. She delicately knocked on the door to Sara’s bedroom, calling her name lightly. “Sara?”

Sara walked towards the door hesitantly. She thought about not answering it and avoiding Ava seeing her like this, with tear-stained cheeks and puffy eyes. But it wasn’t Ava’s fault and she felt bad that this was her Christmas too. So she opened the door, motioning for Ava to come in before shutting it again.

“I’m sorry.” They blurted out in unison.

Sara pursed her lips and tilted her head in confusion. “Ava, what do you have to be sorry for? My dad is the one that just ruined everything and I’m the one that dragged you here to witness my train wreck of a family.”

Ava sat down on Sara’s bed. “I’m sorry that you’re upset on your Christmas, and also on your birthday.”

Sara raised an eyebrow. “Laurel told you, huh?”

“She did, but I swear I bought this before I knew.” Ava leaned down into her bag and grabbed a box. “So, this doesn’t count as a birthday present.”

“You got me a gift?”

Ava’s heart broke again at hearing the surprise and vulnerability in Sara’s voice as if getting a gift on her birthday was the best thing anyone had ever done for her. She patted the space on the bed next to her for Sara to sit down. 

Sara grabbed the gift with a shy excitement.

Ava found a very interesting spot on the bed to stare at while Sara opened it. She knew that if she kept looking at the appreciation radiating from Sara she wouldn’t say what she wanted to. “Yeah because, well, your family is doing a lot for me by letting me crash your Christmas and I know we haven’t always gotten along that well but I’m proud of you for working on your grades and finally having a passion to pursue. Plus, now you can make us do sprints with style.”

At the sound of Sara pulling the top of the box off, Ava finally looked up and was met with Sara smiling at her, holding the silver whistle in her hand. It wasn’t her usual smirk or the smile she puts on for the team or her friends, but something simple and quiet and warm and so… so _pure_.

Ava quickly looked down again, trying to hide the blush that was creeping up her neck. That smile was too much when it was so clearly only for her.

“What?” Sara demands.

Ava cleared her throat, regaining her poise. “I just hope you like it. I can always return it if you don’t. I just thought —”

Sara grabbed Ava’s hand gently. “Ava. I love it. Thank you.”

The way Sara says it lets Ava know that her words are about more than just the whistle or this moment. 

———————————————————————————————

Sara woke up the next morning next to Ava. She let herself lay there for a moment, taking in the events of the previous day. Not the stuff with her dad, or the tiny cake that she and Ava had come downstairs to for her birthday, but just Ava. How kind she had been and supportive when Sara needed her most. She’d never be able to express her appreciation for it fully, but she got the sense that Ava understood and knew that Sara would return the favor if given the opportunity. 

She realized she had been staring for too long and pulled herself out of bed before Ava woke up to Sara hovering over her like some creeper. 

Laurel was sitting in the kitchen like she did most mornings, but this time with an unusual air of tranquility.

“Sleep well?”

Laurel jolted slightly at Sara’s not unwanted intrusion. She smiled. “Better than the night before that’s for sure. How about you?”

Sara shrugged trying to play it cool when she was so clearly not. “Crying always takes it out of me. I slept like a rock.”

“Good. How about Ava?”

Sara was thankful for the quick change of topic. “Still asleep when I got up. I’m sure she’ll be down soon.”

Laurel let the silence sit for a minute before continuing. “She’s a good one Sara.”

A few weeks ago, maybe even days ago, Sara would’ve jumped at the implication that she knew her sister was making. She wanted to respond that they were just friends and that Amaya or Zari or Nate would’ve done the same thing. But she caught herself before the words came out. 

Instead, she responded with a truth that she was beginning to accept. “Yeah, she is. I’m weirdly glad that she was here last night. I would’ve preferred a quiet holiday, but she made the day a little more tolerable.”

Without knowing it, Sara had confirmed what Laurel had seen between her little sister and her new friend. She knew that Ava was... _different_ for Sara, but she was having trouble placing just how different she was. Seeing her sister be so surprisingly vulnerable, rather than shutting down like she usually did after a blow-up with their dad, let Laurel know that Ava said all the right things to her last night. 

It could just be a sign of the emotional growth that Laurel could see Sara going through since Nyssa, but it felt like more than that. And she had to attribute at least some of it to Ava’s presence in Sara’s life.

Before Laurel could respond and let Sara know that she was proud of her for how much she’d grown, Ava came bounding down the steps and into the kitchen. Laurel turned her attention to Ava instead. 

“Good morning new favorite little sister. How’d ya sleep?”

“Ouch Laur.”

Ava ignored the bantering siblings. “I slept great. Your bed is really comfy, Sara.” 

Laurel raised a knowing eyebrow at her sister while Ava’s back was to them at the coffee maker. 

Sara cleared her throat, disregarding her sister’s very pointed look. “So, what’s everyone’s plans for today?”

“I’m down for whatever. We could just hang around for the couple days before we head back to campus if that’s cool. I could sure use the downtime.”

Sara smiled, happy to spend her break doing absolutely nothing. 

And so, the two of them spent three days shifting between the couch and her room, watching every movie they could agree on. Laurel joined them occasionally but mostly the two of them sat in comfortable silence, unknowingly glancing at the other every so often. 

Quentin didn’t return while Sara was still home, but she made sure to let Laurel know that she would come back anytime she needed if things with her dad took a turn once he finally came crawling back home. He would reappear after a few days of licking his wounds, and maybe this time would be different. 

But Sara turned her thoughts to the Sirens and the upcoming semester as they pulled away from her childhood home. Focusing on the now was the only way she was going to really turn it on for their spring semester. The season wasn’t back quite yet, the girls still have new years to get through, but Sara had a lingering feeling of anticipation as she thought about it. 

She always went into the season with her head held high, ready to show the world what her team had in them, but something about this season just felt different. She’d felt it since the first practice, but now she was willing to admit that they had found their missing piece of the puzzle.

She glanced at Ava as she drove, trying to figure out when exactly Ava started filling in so many gaps in her life that she didn’t even know she had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, that was a tough one. Feel free to yell at me here or at my tumblr (guilty-yet-satisfied)
> 
> Yay for posting early! Boo for only having one or two more pre-written chapters. I'll do my best to get the next couple chapters out on time but the bar exam is about a month away so there might be less consistent posting than there has been but we're not quite to the point we need to worry about that yet - just a heads up! 
> 
> Thanks again for reading!!


	14. New Year, New Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had such a hard fucking time writing this chapter and I’m not really in love with how it came out but it’s like 7200 words of hanging out and bonding and it’s like 90% dialogue so enjoy??? Sorry if it seems like a filler, I swear the next chapter will make up for it. At least its lighter than the last chapter?
> 
> Happy reading!

Returning to campus after Christmas was a relief for Sara and a lot of the Sirens. A couple of days to relax without any family or rugby pressures was just the break she needed to feel refreshed coming into the spring semester. Thankfully, though, their break wasn’t quite over yet. 

Charlie came bounding down the stairs and into the kitchen where she found her still half-asleep roommates sitting at the kitchen table sipping on their respective mugs of coffee in silence.

She grinned broadly and proclaimed, “LADIES! IT’S TIME!”

“Oh god, why is she screaming?” Sara asked Amaya, barely looked up from her mug in the process.

Amaya just shrugged. “I think she’s excited, but mostly she’s just like this.”

“It’s time for our annual ski trip you cranky lot.”

“Charlie,” Sara said between sips, “you don’t even ski.”

Charlie threw her arm around Sara. “That, my dear captain, is not the point of this trip. The point is the booze, and the friendship, and the new year’s party with all the beautiful people!”

Amaya, still unamused by her sister, chimed in. “And also, she missed everyone.”

“But mostly Zari,” Sara said.

“Definitely just Zari. But they did facetime every day over break so I don’t understand how she can really miss her that much.”

“Well when you’re with someone 24/7 during the semester, facetime isn’t nearly enough.”

“I swear she missed Z more than I missed Nate.”

Charlie stood in front of them, arms on her hips. “Oi, do either of you even care that I’m standing right here?”

“No.” Sara and Amaya said in unison.

Charlie finally gave up and walked off mumbling to herself. “Bloody thanks I get for loading the car and being excited about something.”

After more coffee, and plenty of time for Amaya and Sara to finally wake up, they all head out to Sara’s car.

“Should I text everyone and make sure they didn’t forget anything?”

“Sure.” Sara shrugged. “Also, can you let Zari know we’re on the way so she’s ready.”

____________________________________________________________________

**Amaya, Nora, Ava, Danvers #1, Danvers #2, Angry Twin, & Z**

**_Today_ ** _8:15 AM_

**Amaya (8:15):**

Everyone packed and ready to go? Any last-minute packing questions? Make sure you remember bath towels!

**Amaya (8:15):**

Also @Z, we’ll be there in a few

**Danvers #2 (8:18):**

I packed for Alex and I last night! We’re hitting the road in a few

**Z (8:18):**

Aye, aye captain

**Nora (8:19):**

All good over here as well

**Ava (8:19):**

Why is Danvers not packing for herself?

**Sara (8:20):**

Retweet what Ava said

**Danvers #1 (8:22):**

Sara dont text and drive

**Danvers #1 (8:22):**

Also dont gang up on me, you’re supposed to be on my side Sharpe

**Danvers #1 (8:23):**

Im just a bad packer so Kara does it for me because she’s a nice sister

**Angry Twin (8:24):**

Meanwhile I get ragged on for packing the car this morning

**Danvers #2 (8:25):**

(: (: (: 

___________________________________________________________________________________

“See ‘Maya, that’s what a good sister looks like,” Charlie said as they pulled up to Zari’s.

“Please, I’m a great sister.”

“Yeah right —”

Sara made eye contact with the twins in the backseat through her rearview mirror. “If the two of you are going to bicker this whole car ride I will turn this car around.”

“If you’d just let Zari sit back here with me then this wouldn’t be a problem.”

“No, Zari gets to sit upfront because Charlie isn’t allowed to control the music and last time Amaya was my co-pilot we were 45 minutes late to a game.”

“That’s not fair, Kansas is a very confusing place!”

“It’s literally just dirt roads.”

“Whatever.” She mumbled under her breath.

Zari was side-eyeing her from the passenger seat.

“What?” Sara asked.

“Nothing, nothing. I was just wondering when you became our mom.”

“Fuck off Z.”

“Touchy, touchy. I thought holidays were supposed to put people in good moods.”

“I had a great break for your information.”

Charlie, who Sara definitely thought had already put on headphones to drown them out, chimed in from the back seat. “Yeah, shacking up with Sharpe.”

“Oh yeah!” Zari’s face lights up with the opportunity to tease her friend. “We didn’t hear you all break, how was that? I had money on you guys tearing each other’s head off by day three.”

“Or their clothes,” Charlie said, purposefully loud enough for Sara to hear. 

Sara ignored the snickering from the back seat. “It was actually really nice to have her around. I’ve told you guys that we’re passed all of that bullshit from last semester.”

Zari softened a bit. “I’m glad for you Sar. It’s nice to see you letting someone new in.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Sara loved her friends, and she was glad that they liked Ava, but having this conversation was not something she wanted to do in this moment. “How was everyone else’s break?”

Zari filled them, mostly Sara, in on her family and how her brother Behrad was doing living at home with their parents, and Amaya filled them in on her and Charlie’s time at home. Which mostly consisted of crazy stories about the new and exciting ways Charlie found to piss off her parents every day. Eventually, Charlie did put her headphones in, and by the time Sara looked at the backseat again, the twins had dozed off using each other as pillows.

Sara let the silence sit between her and Zari for a while, just listening to the sound of Halsey play in the background and taking in the beautiful mountain scenery around them. But after the third time Sara saw Zari glance back at Charlie and the not so subtle wistful expression on her face, Sara had to break the silence.

“Did you talk much to Charlie much over break?”

Zari seemed a little surprised by the sudden question, but easily let a small smile take over her face. “Yeah, you know we never go too long without talking.”

“I’ve noticed.” Sara was curious, as any best friend would be, about their relationship and she was sure that her tone was making that obvious. People were always assuming things about the nature of the relationship between them, but neither girl had ever said anything to confirm it so Sara was left to continue wondering.

“What do you mean?” Zari seemed confused, meaning she was either extremely oblivious to her own feelings and the different story that her face was telling, or Sara was really off base. But she was willing to put money on the first option.

“Come on Z, you know what I mean.”

“We’re friends Sara,” Zari breathed out, clearly catching on to where the line of questioning was going and not bothering to hide her frustrated with the question. “I could ask the same thing about you and Sharpe.”

Sara bookmarked the defensive answer and the last longing look she sent towards the back seat. She understood Zari’s frustration, even if she wanted to keep snooping. Sara knew that Zari would come to her whenever she was ready.

“Point taken, backing off now.”

Their car was the last to arrive at the cabin they booked for the short weekend.

The cabin weekend tradition started after their freshman year. The group has scattered for the holidays, like most freshman, but realized after a couple days with their families that they were going to need a real break if they didn’t want to return to campus miserable. It was initially just Zari, Amaya, and Sara, but the had expanded their group this year to include a few more friends. It wasn’t necessarily meant to be a purely girls’ weekend or even a purely rugby team weekend, but everyone else was buys enjoying the company of their family so they extended the invite to those they knew would be around. This year, it was Alex and Kara, whose mom was busy with an extended research project, Nora who desperately needed an excuse to leave their families early, and of course, Ava.

Sara had volunteered her car for grocery shopping duty since Amaya was really the only one of the group that knew how to handle herself in the kitchen. Which they definitely learned the hard way after putting Sara and Zari in charge the prior year. Let’s just say that got very close to not getting their security deposit back.

By the time they managed to get up into the mountains, find a grocery store, and get the shopping done, Sara was exhausted and more than ready to crash with her friends.

“About time you guys got here!” Alex yelled when they walked in, hands full of groceries and suitcases.

Kara slapped her sister on the arm. “Alex be nice. Do you guys need help carrying the groceries inside?”

“Yeah Alex, be nice.” Sara stuck her tongue out at Alex before turning back to Kara. “No thanks Supergirl, I think the four of us got it.”

Kara beamed at the name like she did every time Sara used her newly minted nickname. Rugby tradition mandated that almost every rookie got a nickname, but not all of them stuck. Based on how happy Kara got every time she heard it, Sara was sure the blonde would be one of the few on their team that made sure hers did.

After the groceries were brought in, the four went back for their bags. “You guys claim rooms already?” Sara asked the group.

“Yes ma’am. Sisters sharing, everyone else has their own.” Kara reported back to her captain.

“See, the rookies listen! Why can’t the rest of you respect me like that?”

Zari deadpanned. “We know too much.”

Sara scrunched her eyebrows. “Z, what does that even mean?”

“You know exactly what it means.” 

“The two of you are so weird.” Alex chimed in from the couch, not even bothering to look up from scrolling through her phone. Sara glared before walking over to sit directly on Alex. “Sara, get your fat ass off of me.”

“I am petite! How dare you Danvers.”

Ava watched the interaction from the other couch with a renewed view of their relationship. She wasn’t suspicious per se, because she’d seen them tease and taunt each other for a whole semester. But somehow it just seemed different now that she knew about their history. Maybe it made the interactions seem less sibling-like and more…. intimate? Ava couldn't put a finger on it but she knew it was a familiarity that was different than what Sara had with everyone else and it left Ava feeling a little weird.

She wasn’t sure why she was thinking about it when clearly nobody else around her thought anything of it. Maybe it was because Sara just told her and everyone else already knew so they were just used to it. Either way, Ava knew she had to shake it off. These were her teammates, and Alex was one of the first people to actually be nice to her so Ava didn’t want to ruin that because she thought it was weird that they had some two-year-old fling. Besides, she and Sara teased each other all the time now and nobody thought anything about that. So it was probably nothing.

Amaya called for dinner after a while, and the group pretty easily settled on watching _Forever Strong_ , an incredibly cheesy rugby movie, before turning in for an early night.

If Sara got up from her seat next to Alex to come and sit next to Ava when the movie started, well she’d be lying if that didn’t make her feel slightly better about her previous suspicions. And she definitely wasn’t going to pretend that watching Sara Lance doze off against her arm twenty minutes into the movie wasn’t adorable.

With her mind at ease and the warmth of Sara against her, Ava forgot all about the movie and eventually drifted off herself.

____________________________________________________________________

The next morning was a rush of coffee, fighting over the two bathrooms that the six-bedroom cabin had, and layering on clothes before hurrying out the door to hit the slopes as early as they could. For the most part, the group split off and did their own thing since everyone had a different comfortability level with skiing.

Sara, with her standard cocky grin plastered on her face, went right for a black diamond. She strapped her right boot into her snowboard and slid off from the group along with Alex and Kara.

Ava was comfortable with skiing, having grown up going to the mountains in Vermont a couple of times a year and the occasional trip out west with her parents, but the steepness of the Colorado mountains still made her a little tentative so she stuck to the blues and greens for the day with Nora.

She was more than a little tempted to go for the black diamonds with Sara, just to show off and pretend that she could hang with the big girls. It had nothing to do with being unwilling to admit that she wasn’t as good as Sara at something or wanting to see just how good Sara was on a snowboard. Neither of those thoughts crossed her mind at all.

Around 11, the group reconvened at the base lodge for some lunch. Ava and Nora had already grabbed a table and some food when Alex and Sara walked up mid-argument.

“Oh please Lance, just admit that I smoked you on that last run.”

“In your dreams Danvers, I was right behind you!”

Kara sat down next to Alex, stealing a fry off her plate. “It’s true Alex, she was right behind you the whole time. And she went off that extra jump so I think she may have gotten you.”

“See! Even your sister thinks I’m better.” 

“Dude, that is not what she said.”

Sara continued, ignoring Alex. “Got both Danvers sister’s wrapped around my finger.”

“I’ll show you—”

“Oh god Alex please don’t finish that thought,” Kara begged.

Alex put her hands up to feign innocence. “I didn’t say anything.”

“But it was going to be inappropriate.”

“I just inspire her dirtiest thoughts, what can I say.”

“I hate both of you.” Kara pouted.

Alex frowned at her sister. “Come on, I’ll buy you a treat to make it up to you.”

Kara immediately lit up and dragged her sister off with her back to the snack area. Sara laughed at how adorable the Danvers siblings were and how much of a child at heart Kara could be, especially in comparison to her sailor mouth sister. 

Nora excused herself from the table to use the bathroom before they headed back out for the second half of the day on the mountain and that left just Ava and Sara at the table together. Ava was pushing around some fries, trying to shake off any sour thoughts that were still on her mind about Sara and Alex. She was debating just asking Sara while they had a second alone but thought better of it.

“How’d the first half of your day on the bunny hill go?”

Ava rolled her eyes at Sara. “Ha ha Sara, very funny. Happy to report nobody got injured and Nora and I had a fine time with our intermediate skills.”

“You know I’m only kidding Sharpe. Nothing wrong with the middle runs.”

“Seems like you guys had a _ton_ of fun.”

Ava immediately grimaced at hearing the bitterness in her own voice. She kept telling herself that she didn’t care that Alex and Sara were on the mountain together or that it wasn’t a big deal that she was reading into everything between them, but for whatever reason, her subconscious had other plans.

Sara scrunched her eyebrows together, doing her best to keep any anger at bay. “And that’s supposed to mean?”

“Just– nothing– sorry.”

Sara put the pieces together, smirking as she realized exactly what Ava was implying, and let out a dry snicker of amusement.

Alex plopped back down at the table. “What’s so funny?”

Ava tried to cut in and explain herself or change the topic far, far away from what she had said, but Sara spoke up first. “Sharpe thinks all of our _flirting_ means we must have something going on between us.”

“That was so sophomore year.” Alex waved off the comment, not bothered by the accusation or assumption at all.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to imply anything by it, I just—”

“Don’t worry Sharpe. It’s not like you’re completely wrong, we did sleep together at least a couple times. Plus, I could definitely do worse than people assuming I’m sleeping with Sara.”

Kara grimaced. “Oh god, the two of you ...when, why – wait don’t tell me that. But when?”

“Literally two years ago, it was nothing. We’re just best buddies now.”

“Best buddies?” Sara questioned.

Alex shrugged. “Well ‘just friends’ sounds all defensive and saying we’re like sisters sounds weird since we did do the dirty a couple times.”

Kara looked between Sara and her sister, a mix of confusion and disgust on her face. “Okay, I see it now. And I would like it to stop.”

“See, I’m not crazy.” Ava was glad to have someone on her side. 

Sara hopped up from the table, not wanting to see any more of where this conversation was going. It felt weird to hear Alex and Ava talking about who she was sleeping with and she didn’t like the accusatory tone Ava took, even if it was by accident.

“Well, while you two continue to make weird judgments about the relationships in my life, I’m gonna head back to the mountain. Danvers, you coming?”

Alex nodded eagerly, happy for the exit from the conversation with her sister. Kara soon realized that they were leaving without her and scrambled to follow, but not before turning around to whisper to Ava, “I think you guys are better together, for the record.” And then skipped away leaving a very confused Ava behind.

____________________________________________________________________

After a full day of skiing, the girls were exhausted and ready to nap. Amaya having not gone skiing today managed to cook up another amazing meal, with the help of Kara who apparently didn’t ever get tired, while the rest of the girls showered and got ready for the evening.

Before dinner had even ended though, Charlie stood up from the table, cracked a beer, and announced that it was time to start drinking. “The game is 10 cup, you lot know the rules now pick your partners and let the games begin.”

Ava rolled their eyes at Charlie and volunteered to do the dishes so the rest of them could start playing. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t take long for things to get rowdy with half the group playing beer pong and the other half playing flip cup. Sara played a round of beer pong, making Zari and Amaya split her cups, and then excused herself to watch from the loft above the main living area.

She watched as Alex threw a ping pong ball at her sister, and laughed as Kara threw it back, accidentally hitting her sister in the back of the head. Charlie and Zari were off in the corner, trying to decide which game they wanted to play next, and standing much closer than their sober selves would have let them be. Nora, Amaya, and Ava – the civil members of the group – sat around the kitchen table talking and sipping on their drinks casually. Sara was curious about what they were talking about, but the music was too loud for her to eavesdrop.

All in all, Sara was happy to be where she was with the people around her, even with the little hiccup during lunch earlier.

Sara wasn’t sure what it was about Ava’s comment that rubbed her the wrong way. Opposing teams, classmates, and her family had been teasing her about her fling with Alex essentially since she started college and usually, she was able to crack a joke without a second thought. But there was something about the way Ava said it that Sara didn’t like. Maybe it was because they just weren’t at that level yet or because Ava seemed so bitter about it. If Sara didn’t know any better, she would think the other girl was jealous. But there was no reason for Ava to be jealous of Alex, right? Or maybe it was Sara she was jealous of, and Ava was harboring a crush on the older Danvers?

Sara didn’t particularly like either option, but who was she to stand in the way of Ava and Alex if that’s what they wanted.

Amaya wondered up to her. “Penny for your thoughts cap.”

“Just observing how much damage such a small group of people is capable of.”

“You sure you’re not just looking at one person?”

Sara raised an eyebrow, already knowing where this conversation was going. “And who would that be?”

“Come on, Sar. Something seems to have changed over Christmas between the two of you.”

On first instinct, Sara wanted to deny it. Tell Amaya that she was off her rocker and she was just happy to find some peace among the team. But something had changed. And whatever it was, Sara didn’t want to talk about it yet.

She paused for a moment, letting her gaze drift between her and Alex who were now talking closely in the corner of the room, away from the rest of the group. It frustrated Sara to see Ava so easily smiling and joking around with Alex when things between them were still so stilted sometimes.

“Do you think there’s something between her and Alex?” She didn’t have to specify who she was talking about because she hadn’t taken her eyes off Ava since Amaya sat down.

Sara didn’t turn to look at Amaya, so the other girl wasn’t able to fully evaluate where Sara’s head was at with the question, but Amaya was a bit taken aback by it.

“Why do you think that?”

“I’m not sure. Just something Ava said earlier, or I guess how she said it. It came off a little jealous.” Sara paused. “I think they’d maybe be kind of good for each other in a weird rule-following nerdy type of way.”

Amaya wanted to respond and tell Sara just how off base she thought her evaluation was. She wasn’t there when Ava said whatever she said to Sara, but it seemed obvious to Amaya what really happened. If she could recognize the jealousy in Ava’s voice, how was she so oblivious as to who the jealousy was for.

“I don’t think you need to worry about them, Sara.”

Sara scrunched her eyebrows up, finally turning to look at Amaya. “I’m not.”

Amaya didn’t think it was the time to go any deeper into the conversation, but she wanted to make sure she sowed the seeds in Sara’s mind and checked in on Sara. She knew the other girl could get in her head sometimes “I think you re, but that’s okay. Just wanted to let you know I was here if you wanted to talk about anything. Besides, I need to go make sure that my sister isn’t killing my best friend.”

Sara just smiled as Amaya brushed past her with a comforting pat on the arm. Before Sara could be dragged any further into her own head, she heard Alex yell up to her.

“Lance! Get your ass down here. I don’t care if you’re drinking or not, we’re playing Never Have I Ever.” Sara shook her head at Alex and followed Amaya down the stairs back to the group.

Everyone was sitting in a circle, drinks in hand, ready to play the game. Charlie started speaking as soon as Sara joined them. “Ladies, ladies, ladies. We’re playing Never Have I Ever. House rules – everyone starts with five fingers up, we’ll go around the circle until someone is out, and whoever is out first has to shotgun! Unless you’re Sara or Ava in which case you can pick someone to drink for you I guess. I’ll start. Never have I ever kissed someone in this room.”

Sara rolled her eyes because of course Charlie would start off with that instead of something simple. Much to Charlie's disappointment, she and Alex were the only ones to put a finger down so no new secrets were spilled.

Zari went next. “Never have I ever failed a class.”

This time Sara was the only one who put a finger down. She was beginning to think they only called her down here so that she could lose.

Amaya said “Never have I ever been skydiving,” getting Alex, Kara, and Charlie to put down a finger and then Sara followed with, “Never have I ever been sent to boarding school in England,” to which Charlie threw the middle finger at her in response while she drank.

“Nora, don’t let me down mate, please ask something more fun.”

Nora seemed to take Charlie’s words to heart, thinking long and hard before speaking. “Never have I ever…. wanted to date a teammate.”

Zari spoke up in protest, slurring her words just a little bit. “Feels unfair coming from a straight person but okay.”

Amaya laughed. “Don’t be a sore loser Zari.”

“Whatever just feels unfair since we literally all put a finger down except Amaya and Nora.”

Alex looked confused. “No, Kara didn’t put one down.”

“Except that she did, Danvers.” Sara laughed watching Alex’s head spin around to her sister.

“I’m pretty sure you’ve never been on a team with a guy before so…?”

Kara, of course, just smiled. “That wasn’t a question Alex.”

Alex scrunched her eyebrows together. “Since when are you not straight?”

The rest of the group laughed at Alex’s expense. Kara just shrugged and moved on to her turn, not bothering to clarify any of her sister’s confusion. “Never have I ever… played a full rugby season!”

Everyone groaned and reluctantly put a finger down while Kara smile grew into one full of self-pride.

Ava looked around, checking where everyone’s finger count was before speaking. Charlie, Alex, and Sara were all tied with one finger left. She could be really mean and target one of them specifically, or just try and get all three of them out together.

She smirked, taking the easy way out. “Never have I ever spent more than a semester at CU.”

All three girls put a finger down, complaining as they realized they lost. “Come on,” Charlie said. “Nobody even asked anything fun or spilled any secrets! What’s even the point of this game if you make it boring.”

Zari just patted the girl on the shoulder and moved to stand up, wobbling as she did so. “Sorry Charlie. Guess you’ll just have to find out the dirt the old fashion way – eavesdropping outside our doors.”

The group dispersed, back to playing different drinking games and hanging around the cabin. Eventually, after losing a game of 1v1 beer pong to Charlie, Zari stumbled off to the bathroom. Sara thought it was best to follow her and make sure she was all right.

“Heeeeeey Sara!”

Sara knelt down to pull Zari’s hair out of the way. “Hey Z, how ya feeling bud?”

Zari heaved into the toilet. “You know, not too bad. How’s your night? Sorry that you have to babysit us again.”

“I don’t mind it, at the very least, you all provide plenty of entertainment for me.”

“But we all know you’d rather just be hanging out with Ava.”

Sara didn’t bother trying to hide her confused expression at Zari’s words since her friend’s head was still buried in the toilet. But she was the second person to make a comment like that tonight, and drunk Zari was always overly honest so her interest was definitely piqued. “Why do you say that?”

“I see the way you look at her Sara. You haven’t looked at anyone like that since Nyssa. Just take a chance.” Zari shrugged, as if she wasn’t poking Sara’s denial bubble with a sharp pin, and then put her head back in the toilet to throw up again.

“God not you too.” Sara sighs.

“Don’t be dumb, cap. Apply some of that fearlessness from the field to your personal life.” Zari picked her head up to continue but stopped when she noticed the newcomer. “Oh, hey Ava, how’s it going? I think I drank too much.”

Ava smiled, leaning against the doorway. “Yeah Zari, I think so too. That’s what you get for trying to keep up with Charlie and Alex.”

Zari’s eyes went wide. “How do they drink so much?”

“Practice, love.” Charlie said as she popped her head into the bathroom. “I can take over from here. I owe her for Homecoming anyways.”

Sara, still internally panicking, jumped at the opportunity to leave the now very crowded bathroom. She needed to get out of there before Zari said something dumb, or _something else_ dumb, while Ava was standing right there. “All yours Charlie. She’s already thrown up quite a bit so she probably just needs water and bed now.”

Charlie and Zari’s exits were apparently the perfect time to call it a night because when Sara came back out to the living room everyone had vanished into their own rooms. Sara was more than happy to retire the evening before someone else said something off-based and completely irrational about her and Ava.

____________________________________________________________________

Sara woke up the next morning, early as usual, and put on some workout clothes. Expecting to be the only one up, she didn’t bother finishing getting dressed before she walked into the kitchen.

Ava cleared her throat from her position up against the counter and Sara jumped, instinctively covering herself with her half-on shirt. Ava just chuckled at her. “Surprise?”

“Jesus Sharpe. What are you doing up?”

“Trying to catch you half-dressed in the kitchen obviously.”

“Very funny,” Sara said dryly. “I figured I’d be alone. I was just coming in to start the coffee… which I see you’ve already done.”

“Going somewhere?”

“Just wanted to get a quick workout in before the day started. Zari was supposed to join me but I think she might actually be dead.”

“Not dead, but fast asleep next to Charlie,” Ava said wiggling her eyebrows.

“They tend to do that, ‘besties snuggle okay?’” Sara said, putting on her best Zari voice.

“Your Zari impression is better than your Gideon impression.”

“Accents aren’t my thing,” Sara said shrugging and pouring herself a cup of coffee. The two sipped their coffee in silence for a bit, enjoying the sereneness of the mountains and the quiet cabin in the early morning.

“Mind if I join you? I was thinking about going on a run anyways.”

“Sure, let’s leave in a few so we can be back to pull everyone’s hungover asses out of bed.”

The two laced up their shoes and headed out. Sara was more familiar with the area so Ava let her lead, happy to follow along at a leisurely pace.

Sara tried not to think about all the comments her friends were going to have when they got back later. As if it wasn’t bad enough that they were making assumptions already.

She’d be lying if she said that their comments were giving her _some_ ideas. She appraised the woman running next to her. Ava was undoubtedly beautiful in an effortless kind of way with her long blonde hair and toned body. She supposes that she should be flattered by anyone assuming that Ava would give her the time of day.

Sara, objectively of course, knew that Ava was attractive and smart, and incredible to watch move around a rugby field. And when things weren’t tense between them, their conversation flowed easily covering any and everything that came into their minds. The girl gave up her Wednesdays every day for half a semester and showed up at her house to berate her in the best way possible. How was Sara not supposed to swoon a little over that?

But that didn’t mean she wanted to date Ava. And it definitely didn’t mean that Ava wanted to date her.

Right now, though, the only feeling towards Ava that Sara had the emotional capacity to recognize was a desire to show her up on this run. Realizing they were about a mile in, and probably not too far away from the cabin, Sara picked up her pace.

And as much as Ava really would have preferred an easy jog just to get the morning cobwebs out, she wasn’t going to let Sara win.

Sara smirked, glad to see Ava pick up her speed as well. “Think you can keep up Sharpe?”

“Bring it on.” Ava smiled back, doing her best not to sound out of breath and taking off in a sprint towards the cabin.

Sara stuttered, not expecting Ava to take off like she did, but quickly sprinted behind her to catch up. Ava could see the cabin not too far off in front of them as she kept looking between the house and Sara. She was trying to decide just how hard she needed to run to keep the lead on Sara, but the other girl was fast and Ava could see the competitive look in her eyes. Ava pushed the last bit of energy she had from her legs and practically fell into the cabin seconds before Sara could reach it.

Both huffing, Sara said, “So much for an easy morning jog.”

“You started it! And you knew I wasn’t gonna let you cruise past me.”

Sara smacked her leg lightly. “I was just trying to keep up with your freakishly long legs.”

“They are not freakishly long, you’re just freakishly small.”

“Hey! I’m the perfect size.”

“Whatever you say, Lance.”

Sara shoved her. “Breakfast?”

“God, yes, I’m starving. I’ll wake up the masses.”

“Good luck with that. Zari is a swinger when she’s hungover.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Much to Sara’s surprise, Nora and Amaya were already up and in the kitchen cooking when they walked in. The brunch spread was laid out in front of them, ready for them to dig in when Zari and Alex groggily stumbled into the kitchen followed by a much too energetic Charlie.

“Good Morning! Another beautiful day in the cabin.”

Alex and Zari just moaned back, dropping their face into their arms at the table. Sara laughed, happy that at least Charlie seemed to be bouncing back well. As the girls one by one finished eating and scattering out of the kitchen, Charlie waggled her eyebrows at Sara.

Sara’s eyebrows scrunch up as she notices Charlie’s expression. “What?”

“You know exactly what.”

Sara rolls her eyes. “Please enlighten me, oh wise, Charlie.”

“I saw you leering and Ava, all hot and sweaty from your run this morning.”

“This again,” Sara clenched her jaw, trying to avoid sounding too defensive. “What did you guys have a team powwow and decided this weekend was the perfect time to gang up on me about some made-up _thing_ you all think Ava and I have going on?”

Charlie’s smirk only widened. “Oh, so it’s not just me then? Interesting.”

“No not interesting. It just means you’re all suffering from the same delusion. Ava and I are friends. Remember, you were all riding me last semester to end our ‘feud’ and now somehow that means that we’re secretly pining for each other.” Sara was tired of having this thrown in her face and she was too tired from her run to have patience for it right now.

_Was it just so hard for them to believe that they could be friends?_

“What’s all that Shakespeare nonsense about doth protesting? Because I think you’ve got a little bit of that going on.”

“We’re friends, Charlie.”

“Sure you are, mate.” Charlie smirked into her coffee. 

“I’m going to take a shower. Clean up the kitchen will you.”

Sara all but stormed off into the bedroom she had claimed for the weekend, burying her face in her pillow, and screaming.

The no inter-team dating rule was _her_ rule. They watched how things with Nyssa tore her apart and ruined their spring season last year. How could they want to encourage that happening again? Better yet, why were they poking at something that they knew Sara was sensitive about?

Even if she thought it was a good idea, which she definitely didn’t, she didn’t feel that way about Ava. They were friends, and Ava was becoming an important friend to her.

She shook her head and jumped back up from her bed. She didn’t have time for the pity party or the frustration. Right now, she had to get dressed for the evening out with her friends to celebrate the new year.

Ava meanwhile was happily getting dressed up with Nora in her room. New Year’s Eve was Ava’s favorite holiday – the fireworks, the parties, the feeling of limitlessness that came with a fresh start – how could someone not love it? Especially this year since the semester ended with so much optimism surrounding the new season and everything that the Sirens could offer her on and off the field.

The party they were going to at a nearby ski resort was a little overpriced and bound to get out of control, but it didn’t feel like a frat party and that’s exactly what the group decided they wanted. A little excuse to get dressed up never hurt anyone either.

Ava and Nora had gone shopping right before they left, making sure to find something that would absolutely turn some heads.

“Nor, how’s my makeup?” Ava turned away from the mirror to look over at Nora.

Nora came closer to scrutinize her friend’s eye makeup. “It looks good, I like how dark you went around the eyes. Really make the blue pop.”

Pleased with her friend’s assessment, Ava stood up, ready to join the rest of her teammates. “Ready?”

Nora shrugged. “Sure, I don’t have anyone I need to impress here. Plus, I know I look good.”

Ava smiled as she playfully shoved her friend out of the room and into the hallway where she immediately bumped someone walking by the doorway.

“Woah, hey Nora.” Sara said, catching Nora as she tumbled into her.

“I’m glad you’re smoother on the field than you are off it, Nor.” Ava said, walking out behind Nora laughing.

Sara turned to Ava ready to respond with her usual snarky quip, but completely lost her train of thought when her eyes met Ava’s. She looked _amazing_ , and Sara didn’t know what to say.

After what must have been way too many seconds of silence from Sara, Ava cleared her throat snapping her back into the moment. “Did Nora knock the wind out of you Lance, what’s up?”

Sara felt her cheeks get red, looking between Nora and Ava to see if they knew what exactly she was thinking. Nora’s smirk told her that she did, but Ava just looked confused.

“Umm, yeah, I mean no, I’m good. I just, uh, had to help Zari with um, something, getting dressed, probably. Um, bye.” And then she stumbled off down the hallway in what Ava knew was the opposite direction of Zari’s room.

Ava, still confused by whatever just happened to Sara, pulled Nora into the kitchen to join everyone waiting to leave.

The party at the lodge was in full swing and the room was packed from wall to wall with people that were over dressed and over boozed.

It seemed like the Sirens had come to an unspoken agreement to take it easier tonight than they had the night before and despite the room full of new people that they paid to be around, they grabbed a table in the back that was big enough for all of them and mostly talked amongst themselves.

“Okay question for the group.” Zari got the attention of the table.

“Hit us,” Sara responds for everyone, snapping back to the conversation.

“If you could be in any TV show, which one would it be?”

Alex doesn’t even hesitate. “Easy! Pretty little liars.”

Zari seemed confused by her quick answer. “Dude, the one with all the teen murder? Why?”

“For a chance to date Shay Mitchell, I can deal with that.”

“Boo. That’s a terrible answer.” The group responds. Alex ducked as some of them threw some peanuts or ice cubes at her.

Zari addressed the rest of the table. “Real answers, please.”

“Oooh! I think I might pick Friends. They just all seem so happy! Who doesn’t want that?” Kara, of course, says.

“That answer is way worse than mine!” Alex says, real offense evident in her voice.

“You guys ruin everything,” Zari joked. “Someone else, new question.”

“I’ve got one,” some groans from the people that knew exactly what was coming. “If you could kiss anyone in this room, who would you choose?”

“Charlie!” Sara and Amaya say at the same time.

“What? It doesn’t have to be anyone on the team, party poopers. We’re in a room full of beautiful people, pick anyone!”

When nobody seemed willing to go along with Charlie’s antics, she stood up from the table and walked towards the bar.

“Where do you think she’s off to?” Sara whispered to Ava.

“I’m sure if you asked her she’d say something about finding someone to snog at midnight.”

Sara laughed. “For the record, your accent is not better than mine.”

Things stayed casual until it neared midnight, with conversation easily flowing between them. Sara thought it was a nice change of pace to just hang out with her friends, even if it took being in a crowded room full of drunk people to make it happen.

When the countdown started, the group stood up so that they could see the clock, but nobody made a move towards anyone or really gave a second thought about if they’d be kissing someone when the clock hit midnight. Sara smiled, looking around at the crazy people she surrounded herself with.

She couldn’t help but let her gaze linger on Ava, thinking about all the potential between them for the new year and all the annoying comments from her friends the past weekend. _Ugh, damn you people for getting in my head._

Ava looked her way with a couple second on the clock and Sara did her best to cover up any discomfort over her own thoughts with a smile.

THREE!

Ava’s smile widened and Sara couldn’t help the slow blush that took over her cheeks.

TWO!

Sara quirked an eyebrow at Ava.

ONE!

Sara, emboldened by the unbroken eye contact and the adrenaline of the countdown, blew a kiss Ava’s way as the clock hit midnight.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

If the saying was true, and you spent your year the same way you started it, Sara couldn’t help but feel that she was in for one hell of year with Ava Sharpe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk ????? I hope you all liked it more than I do lol.


	15. Green in not a good color on you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys said SUCH nice things last chapter how could I not be motivated to write and churn out another chapter???
> 
> The ladies suit up for some rugby (finally!!) and Sara has a moment. Then Ava has a moment. Turns out neither of our girls are dealing with things well.
> 
> Return of the rugby lingo! 
> 
> For reference here, there are two versions of rugby. What I’ve been describing in this story has been 15s so far where each team has 15 players and the games last 80 minutes. In this chapter, I introduce 7s which is played with only 7 players on each team with a 14 minute game, but still on the same size field. 7s is MUCH faster and there’s less tackling. I personally think it’s more fun but none of this is super relevant to the chapter, I just thought I’d explain some more rugby info to you all! Loving the comments about how much you guys enjoy the rugby so I’m definitely gonna do my best to work some more of it in!

January came with a feeling of a fresh start for Sara. She rang in the New Year with her girls and whatever anxieties she had were left behind. Fall semester and the shit show that was Christmas didn’t matter anymore. It was time to get back down to the hard work that came with doing what she loved. Playing rugby.

Which is how they all, mostly Sara, ended up agreeing to a friendly game at the park with some local girls that were home from college for winter break.

Sara and Ava had been running around the field, getting in some off-season practice, and coming up with creative plays to run with the team when practices started again. It was another way that they found time, away from the group, to hang out without the pressure of watching eyes. Plus, Gideon was really pushing them to focus on their _chemistry._

Sara was sure that she meant on-field chemistry, but it was hard not to feel a little wary after her friend’s started questioning her every time she brought up Ava in conversation. 

They were out at the fields, not long after they got back from the mountains when they noticed a small group of girls claim a corner of the park with a rugby ball. Sara being who she was, walked right up to them and asked them if they were around a lot and if they wanted to play a little scrimmage the following day. Seemingly eager to play, they were more than happy to set up something to play.

The girls headed down to the park near campus with Charlie and Amaya in tow. Zari, Kara, and Nora decided to stay back at campus, wanting some alone time to recover from the holidays and their weekend at the cabin.

There weren’t too many local girls there, just the ten or so that were from the Boulder area and still around during the break. Sara thought it had the makings of a fun afternoon.

“Ladies!” One of the local girls ran up to the group of Sirens. “So glad you could join us! Always easier to play rugby with more numbers, am I right?” She called the rest of her group over.

Sara thought her energy seemed a little much, but she couldn’t fault the girl for being excited to play.

“I’m Julie, and this is Kate and Frankie.” She shifted to point over her other shoulder. “Over there we have Dino, Red, and Pipe. And in the back over there still getting their stuff on is Target, Goose, Smurf, and Bonnie. We all went to high school in Boulder and played rugby there but we scattered for college. Happy to see there are some more ruggers in the area!”

Julie had clearly decided that Ava was the leader of their little group and spoke mostly to her during the introductions, much to Sara’s annoyance. But Ava just put on a friendly smile and introduced their group in return. “Nice to meet all of you, although I make no promises on remembering the names as we go. I’m Ava, this is Sara, Charlie, and Amaya. We’re on the team at CU.”

“Sweet! Seems like we’ve got just enough for some 7s. If you guys wanna take Smurf, Goose, and Bonnie, we’ll kick to you first?”

Ava nodded. “Sounds good, give us 10 to get our stuff on and get loose.”

The teams split, with Smurf, Goose, and Bonnie hanging around the Sirens as they put their stuff on. Introductions aside, everyone talked about what position they wanted to play and how much experience they had playing 7s versus 15s. The girls seemed nice enough and as long as they could catch and pass then Sara was fine. This was just for fun anyway.

Julie stood at the centerline of the soccer field, the girls already decided which lines on the soccer field were going to represent the rugby lines and agreeing to go a little easier since they didn’t have a referee around.

Julie pointed at Ava who had taken place in the center of the field and yelled. “I’m coming right for you Aves!”

Sara grimaced at the nickname rolling off this stranger’s tongue, but Ava was already running with the ball and either didn’t have time to respond to Sara’s reaction or didn’t hear it. Sara was hoping for the latter.

Julie, _of course_ , met Ava halfway down the field and gently tackled her, making some joke that Sara couldn’t hear as they laid in the ruck. Sara could only see Ava smile, and her annoyance deepened.

The quick back and forth continued along as the play continued. Julie was so obviously flirting with Sara and using the necessary contact to play it up more. Sara just didn’t understand why Ava was playing along with it. If Sara would’ve pulled this shit on the field Ava would have rolled her eyes out of her head.

Ava was still in the backfield when Julie broke through the line. “No way you’re getting past me here Jules.” She said spreading her arms wide in what was clearly a teasing tackle position.

Julie smirked. “Watch me, Aves.” A quick step and a definite half-assed attempt from Ava, and Julie was past her into the makeshift try-zone.

“Sharpe! Get your head in the game here.” Sara snapped.

Ava glared. “I thought you said this would be fun. I didn’t realize that involved you yelling at me for talking to the other team. I wasn’t going to lay out to tackle her.”

“Oh talking? Is that what you’re doing?” Sara raised an eyebrow, getting in her personal space, reminiscent of their first couple weeks on the field together.

Ava, never one for backing down took a step closer. “You have something you need to say, Captain?”

Sara just threw her hands up and walked back to where she was supposed to be. “Nope. Please, by all means, have fun.”

And of course, Julie thought her opinion was warranted in the situation. “Just a game, y’all no need to be so testy.”

“Hey, Julie is it?” Sara knew the girl's name but liked the confused look she got in return.

“Yeah?”

“Shut up.”

Amaya was at her side the second the comment was out of her mouth. “Woah, okay, why don’t we take a five-minute break, yeah? Then we can switch up the teams and keep going. How about Ava and I will switch with Katie and Frankie?” Everyone nodded, Amaya keeping her hand over Sara’s mouth so she couldn’t stick her foot any further into it, and the girls broke for some water.

Charlie walked up to Sara’s side. “Forget it, Sara, let’s just play it like a fun scrimmage at practice, you know? Loosen up, mate. We can get back into the serious vibe next week when everyone’s back on campus.”

Sara nodded, shaking out her shoulders and plastering a visibly fake smile on her face before grabbing the ball and heading to midfield to kick the ball back to Julie and new her team.

New teams seemingly should’ve been enough for Sara to relax again, but seeing Ava and Julie playing off each other as teammates and joking around even more just riled Sara right back up. Sara spent most of the second half trying to convince herself that she just didn’t like the way the other girl was making a joke out of everything. But even she knew that was a weak excuse.

Sara and Ava were playing opposites on the field, purposefully, on both their parts, trying to stay as far away as they could from each other. Soon enough though, their paths crossed and Sara was in the perfect position to wrap the ball and take Ava down with a tackle.

Sara went into the tackle, thinking only about the importance of gaining some field advantage, and somehow managing not to think about what the close contact of tackling Ava would mean. Because they were friends. And rugby meant being close to people all the time, especially the friends you practice with every day. So why would she be thinking about that?

But halfway through the contact, when her face is pressed into the side of Ava’s thigh and her arms were wrapped tightly around Ava’s knees, Sara realizes what’s happening and panics. Panic meaning that she kind of releases Ava, but doesn’t manage to totally release her, and instead they end up in a full-on tumble that ends with Sara landing flat on top of Ava.

Sara _definitely_ doesn’t lay on top of Ava for an extra second taking in how well their bodies fit together like this.

Ava shoves at Sara’s shoulders. “Um Lance, get off me.”

 _Shit_. “I’m getting there Sharpe. Maybe don’t fall on me next time.”

“I’m the one that fell on you? That was the sloppiest tackle I’ve ever seen.”

“Whatever, it’s still our ball.”

Ava wants to protest, but just shoves the ball into Sara’s chest and walks back 10 feet. The small scrimmage ends soon after that, neither group wanting to run around in the cold January weather for much longer.

The Sirens are packing up their stuff when Julie comes jogging over. “Thanks for coming out to run around with us. We all head back to school this week for the spring semester, but we’d love to exchange numbers so we can do this again.” 

Sara scoffs, mumbling _I bet you would_ under her breath.

Ava turns and glares at her, obviously having heard her and then turned back to Julie with an unnecessarily large smile on her face. “That sounds great Julie, we’d love to do this again when you guys are back in Boulder on break.” Ava grabbed the phone out of her hand and put her number in.

When Ava turned back to the group, Sara was storming off towards her car already. “What is her deal?” Ava asked Charlie and Amaya.

The twins, however, knew better than to answer that question.

“Not sure, mate.”

Ava huffed at the nonresponse and headed towards the car. It was a silent ride back to campus.

_____________________________________________________________

The rest of the team trickled back into campus slowly over the next few days, and practices began the following week.

And things between Ava and Sara were tense. Again.

A lot of the team was clearly still uncertain as to whether Ava and Sara had made up after Homecoming or if something knew sparked the renewed antagonism between them, but it was clear once practice started that there was _some_ lingering tension between them.

It wasn’t anger or hate like it once was, and it definitely wasn’t the tentative friendship they had before Homecoming. But there were these glances that they were sending each other, and staring whenever the other had their back turned, and everyone was walking on eggshells.

From one freshman’s point of view, she guessed that Sara had done something to upset Ava and now both of them were trying not to make it worse, but instead they were just avoiding each other and pining silently.

It wasn’t far off, but the freshmen would keep speculating amongst themselves and let the upperclassmen fight through whatever they were dealing with this week. It was just easier that way.

Sara knew she messed up at the scrimmage last week. She was so tired of the back and forth with her and Ava, it was like every week there was something new to upset the balance of their friendship. It was exhausting.

Unfortunately, personal life exhaustion couldn’t interfere with her duty as captain and Sara could feel that everyone needed to shake off the new semester feels and the weirdness from practice. Even if Sara was indirectly the cause of most of the stiffness among the team, it was still her job to force team bonding activities on them. So, Sara decided they were going to the on-campus bar for trivia and some casual drinks. They could bond and relax and things, she hoped, would get back on track.

Practice dispersed and everyone showered quickly, shoving whatever leftovers or dining hall food they could into their mouths, and met the team at the 18 and up bar near campus.

Sara got their first, grabbing a table in the back with her roommates. But before most of the team could even get there, Sara ran into a girl she knew from a class last semester and got sidetracked flirting with her at the bar. A lot of the upperclassman came to the bar on trivia night, especially after winter break when there were still little to no assignments hanging over their heads so it wasn’t a surprise to run into people she knew, and it was definitely a welcomed distraction from Ava and the team.

If Ava had overheard correctly, which she definitely did considering how close Nora and Ava had ended up to them at the bar, the girl's name was Jamie and she and Sara had English together last semester. Ava spent the first twenty minutes of trivia definitely not glaring into the back of her head.

“Ava?” Nora said, clearly not for the first time if the look on her face was any indication.

Ava shook her head. “Yeah, yeah, sorry I’m here.”

“You sure? Cause it looked like you were distracted plotting all the different ways you could think of to kill that girl that Sara is talking to.”

“What? No? Why would I—? You think I—? That’s crazy.” 

Nora couldn’t help but smirk at her friend’s obvious fluster. “Because that was totally the response of someone not doing something weird.” Ava looked a little embarrassed now as Nora turned around so they were standing shoulder to shoulder at the bar, both staring at the back of Sara, and inadvertently, Jamie. “Do you have a class with her or something, why do we hate her?”

“First of all, we don’t hate her. I appreciate the loyalty, but I wasn’t glaring at her. I don’t even know her.”

Nora turned back around to face Ava again rather than Sara. “Soo… you’re angry that Sara is talking to her because…?”

Ava huffed. “I’m not.”

“Sure.”

“Nor, I’m not.”

“Okay.” The corners of Nora’s mouth turned a little upwards, definitely thinking she figured something out about Ava.

“Nora.”

“Yes, Ava?”

“Don’t,” Ava warned.

“Don’t what Ava?” Nora looked at her innocently. But Ava knew Nora and she was obviously about to do something that Ava didn’t want her to.

Smirk firmly in place, Nora responded, “I was just going to go ask Sara what she thought of your outfit tonight since we took so long picking it out.”

“Nora. Don’t you dare.” Nora started walking backward towards Sara with Ava following her step for step.

Her steps got a little faster now, getting closer to Sara. “What, that’s girl talk right? I thought we were trying to be more team players.”

Ava tried to reach out and pull Nora back, away from Sara, and probably straight out of the bar so she could pretend none of this ever happened. But she missed, and now it was too late because they were steps from Sara. She and Jamie both turned to look at them as they approached.

If the look on Jamie’s face was any clue, they were definitely interrupting, but Sara smiled warmly.

“Hey, guys!” Sara greeted. “Do you know Jamie?”

Nora plastered on a big smile and Ava knew she wasn’t going to like wherever this was going. “Jamie! It’s so nice to meet you! I don’t think we’ve met before, right? I’m terrible with faces. What’s your major?”

Jamie was confused by the over-eagerness of Nora, but it seemed like she was going to go along with it if it meant she could prolong her conversation with Sara.

“Umm, political science.”

Ava just stood there awkwardly, not wanting to talk to Jamie at all. Nora stepped closer to Jamie now, somewhat coming between her and Sara. “That’s SO interesting. What’s your favorite class been? I debated going into political science. My dad would’ve loved it.”

Nora continued talking off Jamie’s ear, and Jamie answered with a frown on her face. With each question, Nora got a step closer to Jamie and the girl was visibly disappointed to have had her conversation with Sara cut short.

Sara leaned over to whisper to Ava. “What’s she doing? I’ve never seen Nora be this friendly before.”

Ava’s face was red and her neck was more than a little red, but she technically wouldn’t be lying if she said she wasn’t sure what Nora was doing. “Umm not sure. She’s just weird.”

Sara didn’t buy it. “Yeah weird…Is that why you guys were so obviously glaring at Jamie while the two of us were talking?”

Ava was more defensive than embarrassed now. “We were not glaring.”

“Right. Jamie asked me if one of you was my girlfriend because you were glaring at her so hard she thought she shouldn’t be speaking to me.”

Scoffing, Ava got more defensive and, in typical Ava fashion, came out swinging. “Maybe if she wasn’t throwing herself at you I wouldn’t have had anything to glare at. _Ooh, Sara, I heard you had a birthday last month, do anything fun to celebrate?_ ” Ava was obviously mocking the girl, quoting her flirting from earlier.

Sara seemed more annoyed now, turning to fully face Ava. “We were just talking Ava. Which I’m allowed to do with people. Because we’re at a bar, and we’re both single. Unless you have a reason that I shouldn’t be talking to her?”

Ava didn’t want to think about what Sara could be implying. She didn’t really want to be in this conversation at all. “I seem to remember that it was somehow your business when I was talking to Julie last week.”

“That was different—”

“Because you being captain makes everything I do your business?”

“No, that’s not what I said.”

“What are you saying, Sara?” Ava was in Sara’s personal space now, taking up her usual fighting stance. “Do you want me to tell you that I care about what you do and who you’re talking to? Cause I don’t.”

“Never said you did.”

Sara didn’t like to back down, especially not with Ava, but she also knew that picking this fight with Ava wouldn’t be good for either of them or the team. She sighed, took a step back from Ava, and ran her fingers through her hair. “I thought we got past this?”

Every instinct in Ava is telling her to keep fighting. To push away Sara and whatever has been forming between them for the past few weeks. Or, if she was really going to be honest with herself, since they met.

But Ava can’t deal with that right now in this crowded bar with Sara starting expectantly and softly back at her. Instead, she sighs and lets her shoulders slump. “I thought we were too.”

Sara looked like she wanted to say something else, but Nora walked over interrupting them. “Jamie had to take off, said she had an early class tomorrow. I might head out too. Ava, you wanna walk home together?”

Ava didn’t know if she was annoyed or relieved at Nora’s timing. She just knew that whatever Sara was about to say, she wasn’t ready to hear yet.

“Yeah,” she looked over at Sara again. “Yeah, let’s go. I’m pretty tired.”

“Catch ya tomorrow, cap,” Nora said, dragging Ava out of the bar. She did her best not to look back to see Sara’s reaction.

They walked in silence for a couple of minutes, Ava thinking about what happened at the bar, and why she was so annoyed at this random girl she never met and knew nothing about. Was it just easier to take it out on her than Sara?

Nora bumped into Ava’s shoulder, shaking her out of her thoughts. “What’s going on up there?”

“Honestly… a lot. I think I need some more time to put it all together though before I’m ready to tell you. If that’s okay?”

“Of course.” And that was that. Nora dropped it and let Ava go back to her thoughts. 

_____________________________________________________________

Nora loved Wednesday mornings because neither she nor Ava had class until the afternoon, and that usually meant Ava had coffee and breakfast ready when Nora wandered into the kitchen.

This morning was no exception. But the room felt a little heavier, with Ava clearly still consumed by her thoughts from last night and completely missing Nora walk into the room.

“Hey, Aves.” She said softly, trying, and somewhat failing, not to startle her friend.

“Oh, hey Nora. Coffee and pancakes are ready if you want some breakfast.” And then it seemed like Ava was right back in her thoughts.

Nora quietly made herself a plate of pancakes, having to heat them up in the microwave and making her wonder just how long her roommate had been awake. When she sat down across from Ava and Ava still remained quiet, Nora knew that she was going to have to be the one to start the conversation.

“So last night was fun.”

Ava was jolted from her thoughts again, this time more fully. “If by fun you mean a little embarrassing and very weird.”

“Not really what I meant, but why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind.”

Ava just sighed. “I don’t even know where to start honestly.”

“How about starting with what happened during that scrimmage the other day? Everything seemed good when you guys got back from Sara’s place for the holidays, and there didn’t seem to be any lingering tension during New Year’s.” Nora tried to throw her friend a bone. She knew how hard it was for Ava to talk about these things.

“That’s the thing though. I’ve been trying to figure out what happened, but I just don’t understand. Everything was fine, we were scrimmaging with these girls that we ran into at the park, just some college girls that were from the area. It was supposed to be light and casual but then Sara got all mad at Julie because we were talking on the field. As if we don’t talk at practice all the time. She didn’t do anything wrong–—”

“Wait, who is Julie?” Nora interrupted. She was starting to understand what happened, even if Ava clearly didn’t, but she had to make sure before she decided if she was going to say anything.

“She was just one of the girls from the park. She seemed to be there unnamed leader or whatever cause she was the one that came up to us and introduced herself and the other girls. She was super into the banter though because she kept trying to rile me up during the game. And when Sara snapped at me for no fucking reason Julie stepped in, which Sara apparently didn’t like because it definitely made things worse.”

Nora immediately put the pieces together. She had watched the relationship between Sara and Ava grow over the past two months, from enemies to friends. It seemed clear they were on the edge of _something_ , but Nora hadn’t decided whether she thought that things with Sara were going to be the bridge Ava needed to mend her past issues from ESU, or if their friendship had the potential to blossom into something more.

But the story that Ava just told definitely swayed her. Now she just had to figure out a delicate way to explain to Ava what was going on without _really_ saying what was going on. “Did Sara say why she got mad?”

“No! And I can’t figure it out Nor. I don’t know if she was just trying to be all high and mighty against these girls or if I unknowingly did something, but she was in a fucking mood and for whatever reason, I took the brunt of it. Again.” Ava breathed out, sitting back in her chair.

“Ava, sweetie, do you think that maybe it had nothing to do with Julie and more with the way you were interacting with her?”

“Are you saying this is my fault? I was just being friendly! She’s the one that’s asked me to be nicer.”

“I wasn’t saying you did anything wrong. I was just saying that maybe Sara didn’t like watching you and this other girl banter like you usually do with her.”

“So, I’m not allowed to joke around with people that aren’t Sara now? That hardly seems fair.”

Nora grumbled to herself. Clearly, she was going to have to use a different tactic to get through to Ava. “Well, why did you get so riled up watching Sara flirt with Jamie last night at the bar?”

Ava tensed at the question. “I wasn’t riled up because of that. I was just still upset about the situation from earlier.”

Nora just glared at her friend until Ava finally let the stiffness drop from her shoulders. “Okay fine. I didn’t like that Sara was flirting with some random girl when it was supposed to be a team outing.”

“Are you sure that’s it, Aves? I’m not saying there needs to be more, but it felt like there was a little bit more than just team stuff going on there. You and Sara have gotten really close really fast so I get that feelings can kind of get confusing.”

As soon as the word “feelings” were out of her mouth Nora regretted it. She could almost see Ava’s walls coming back up.

Ava snorted, thinking the idea that she could have any type of feelings for Sara Lance insane. “Nora, I appreciate the concern, but I swear that was it. I was just riled up from Sara being a jerk earlier and I didn’t like that she was ignoring the team for that girl when we were only out to let off some steam because our little spat made things uncomfortable at practice. Sara and I are friends and that’s it.”

When it became obvious that Ava wasn’t getting that they were both being oblivious jealous idiots, Nora knew that her friend wasn’t ready to hear the truth yet. She’d just have to come to the realization on her own. And when she did, Nora would be there. “Just think about it, please? I don’t want you guys to ruin a friendship over some misunderstanding.”

Ava sighed again, not having another response to Nora’s words. “Fine. But I still don’t think I should have to apologize first.”

“I didn’t say that either. Besides, I’m sure Gideon will come up with some new and fun ways to knock it out of you two before our first game next weekend. Probably make you bus buddies or something painfully cheesy for the ride to Kansas.”

“Shit. I forgot that was so soon. You don’t think she would do that, do you? She’ll probably let us sit with who we want, right?”

“It’s Gideon dude, I never know what she’s going to pull. But I know she does not like her girls fighting.”

Ava knew she was in trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I’ve read so many fics where I was basically yelling at my phone being like UGH DUMB IDIOTS IN LOVE get your shit together and now I feel like I’m doing it to myself? But I control them????
> 
> I had a lot of this jealousy planned out already but from the comments, it seemed like you guys were into that idea so I hope it worked!


	16. Will You Be My Valentine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay in uploading this, I changed the direction of this chapter like 3 times, and also I had to take a full mock bar exam and then my brain was mush. Excuses aside, I tried to incorporate more of what y’all wanted to see based on the comments (which I love love love, keep hitting me with suggestions and feedback!) and we’re starting off with more rugby again and then it’s more of an Ava-centric chapter. 
> 
> All errors are mine - hopefully, my brain recovered enough to write this and it's not riddled with errors.
> 
> Happy reading!!!

Sara pulled up to the fields on Friday morning, absolutely dreading having to pack into the large tour bus for the eight-hour bus ride ahead of her. She was thrilled that the season was finally getting started, but she wished they could just be there already, without all the fuss of driving and room assignments and everything that came with an away game.

Usually, the captain was in charge of making room assignments for these trips because generally, Gideon wasn’t a fan of playing favorites or the cliquey-ness that inevitably emerged with large teams. Sometimes, when the team really begged for it, Gideon would give them some free reign to pick their own rooms in hopes that people might give their best performance after a comfortable night’s sleep.

However, this time, Gideon had told Sara that she would be handling it and Sara knew that was not a good sign. Sara had a sneaking suspicion that Gideon was planning something to knock Ava and Sara back into their pre-Julie peace.

Sara could acknowledge that this time she was the one that torpedoed the peace they found before the holidays, but she just couldn’t find it in herself to approach Ava to apologize this time.

She had reluctantly – reluctantly meaning after endless prodding from Zari – admitted to herself that she lashed out at Julie and Ava because she was jealous. But not because she wanted to date Ava or anything like her friends thought. She had seen how easy it was for Julie and Ava to get along at that scrimmage and it just reminded her of all the unnecessary fighting they had done at the beginning of the semester. Why was it so hard for Sara to make Ava like her when she got on with everyone else so effortlessly? She was jealous of the banter and the ease, and it evidently stirred up some feelings that Sara didn’t know she had towards Ava. 

She’d felt a twinge of it at the cabin when she briefly thought that there might be something between Ava and Alex, but she trusted Alex and whatever friend jealousy had popped up there was nothing compared to the feelings that Julie stirred up.

Sara couldn’t bring herself to admit any of this out loud to her friends though. She’d barely been able to think it without wanting to bury her head in a pillow. This would just be something that she kept to herself.

But as Sara boarded the bus, headphone on, and a tumbler full of coffee, she knew that she was going to have to deal with things before they took the field on Saturday. It had to be her to apologize.

The bus ride to Kansas went surprisingly quickly. Sara spent most of it asleep, lucky enough to get her own row in the front next to Gideon. Sometimes being captain did have its perks.

Most of the girls were chatting quietly with whoever was sitting in the seats nearby or curling into the seat to get some sleep. Some of the girls were doing homework, trying to make up for the classes they had to miss for the game. All in all, the bus ride was more peaceful than Sara had anticipated.

When they got off the bus, Gideon disappeared into the hotel, and then quickly pulled Sara and Ava aside when she came back out.

Sara had a bad feeling. “What’s up coach?”

Gideon had a look on her face that Sara was, unfortunately, getting really good at interpreting. The pursed lips, scrunched eyebrows, and crossed arms screamed that she was about to lay down the law. “It’s our first game of the season, and it’s away, which is already stressful enough, so I need you two to start acting like the leaders that this team needs.”

“Coach—” Ava tried cutting in.

“I don’t want to hear it. I don’t know what’s been going on, and truthfully, I don’t care. Ava, you’ve really stepped into an important role on this team and the other girls look to you on the field.” She turned to Sara. “And you, you’re my captain. I picked you for a reason and this team needs you to start living up to that reason.”

Both Sara and Ava were looking down, embarrassed by their behavior, and disappointed that it had led them to this conversation.

“I don’t say any of this to be mean ladies. I have the utmost faith in both of you, and I think this team really has what it takes, but it’s going to start with you.” Gideon pulled a hotel key out of her pocket and handed it to Sara. “With that being said, the two of you are rooming together this weekend. I don’t want any protesting, I just want the two of you to come out of there tomorrow with new attitudes.”

Gideon walked off, leaving no room for argument. The two stood there watching her go. 

Ava felt like she was going to kill Gideon. Sure, she saw some merit in forcing them together until they had no choice but to work it out. Maybe rooming together would be the final [trigger they needed to once and for all get over themselves]. And admittedly, maybe her being whatever about that Jamie girl hadn’t helped, but Ava was firm in her belief that this was Sara’s fault.

Ava really thought they were passed all this, but it was like some flipped switch with Sara and now they were back to preseason all over again. Bickering and snapping at every corner the past week.

To make matters worse, there was obviously only one bed in the room and neither girl was willing to sacrifice their comfort for the awkwardness it would save them. They had a game tomorrow and could not afford to wake up stiff in all the wrong places.

They dropped their stuff in their room, unpacking in silence, and taking turns using the bathroom before crawling into bed leaving an entire person worth of space between them.

“Lights off?” It was the first words they had spoken to each other since the room assignments. It seemed like they would be going to sleep with the tension remaining.

Ava just nodded back and turned over, letting the silence settle.

The shuffling of the sheets felt like it was echoing after the long period of silence.

Ava turned over again, for what Sara thought was the hundredth time, and kicked Sara’s feet away from her in the process. “Ever hear of personal space?”

Eyes closed, Sara responded by moving her feet right back under Ava’s. “I don’t know, ever hear of a toenail clipper?”

“If you don’t like it then move your damn feet, Lance.”

“I’m freezing and your feet are helping so you’re gonna have to get over it. I’m willing to overlook your talons for warmth.”

Ava rolled her eyes. “Oh, that’s just so kind of you.”

“You’re more than welcome to take the couch if it bothers you.”

“I’m just still in shock that such a small person can take up so much room.” Ava snarked back.

“Don’t pretend you don’t think I’m cute and feisty.”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself.”

“Go to sleep Sharpe. Can’t have my fly-half asleep on the field tomorrow because she was up all night thinking about my body.”

Ava just grumbled. “That is so not what I said.”

The familiar bickering allowed some of the tension to lighten and the silence no longer felt uncomfortable.

“Look, Ava—” Sara started.

“You don’t need to say it, Sara, I know.”

Somehow, that was enough to cut the tension. With them both feeling more at ease in each other’s presence, sleep came quickly. Soon, Ava’s hand slid under Sara’s pillow and the girls were separated only by the small space between their pillows.

_____________________________________

Gameday always brought with it a different vibe. The locker room was silent with the exception of Charlie’s music playing on her portable speaker as the team prepared for the game ahead. Nobody spoke, but it was clear each player was running through their own pre-game routine. Whether that involved hushed contemplation or sitting in a corner, headphones on, envisioning what the game was going to bring.

This game was the first one of their spring season. The first game that really carried any weight with it for this specific group of players. The first game that they knew that they had to come out of with a win.

It felt like they were ready.

The Sirens took the field with confidence, the magnitude of the game giving the players focused energy that could intimidate any team standing opposite them on a field.

Sara won the coin toss, and the game was off. Diana easily fielded the ball out of the air, expertly moving it to Ava to start the Siren’s opening drive.

Despite the hype surrounding the game, Sara was proud of her girls for taking off with a calm vibe about them. The ball moved easily from person to person, slowly making their way downfield until they saw an opening they were able to exploit.

Moving the ball quickly out to Charlie on the wing, she moved into second gear with ease and took off fifteen yards down the field before anyone was able to catch up with her. Trying to build off the moment, Sara called for a play that would purposely create a gap in the line and allow Kara to take the ball. On her signal, Kara broke through the line flawlessly, receiving a well-timed pass from Alex.

This time, nobody was able to catch up and Kara effortlessly placed the ball in the try zone between the uprights, making Sara’s job of kicking for extra point extremely easy.

With points on the board and the Sirens feeling confident in their ball movement, it was time to test their luck on defense. Sara was glad to hear Kara taking charge in the backfield, commanding her wings and pointing out holes in the line like she’d been doing so for years rather than months.

The Amazons, who were somehow arguably more terrifying off the field than they were on it, moved in unison to take down a Kansas player, swiftly ruck over the ball, and allow Sara to pick it up for their team to gain back possession. Luckily, Kansas had made little progress down the field after the re-start and a couple of quick pop passes to the scrum players led to another easy try.

As the game went on, Kansas seemed to pick up speed and the game became more even. Halftime came and went in the blink of an eye, and Sara was thankful they had picked up an early lead with the scoring coming to a halt.

Sara signaled for another play which called for Kara to break through the line, figuring if it caught them off guard the first time, it would work again. However, Kara was almost immediately met with contact from the other team this time. She landed smoothly on the ground and turned, waiting for her support before she placed the ball behind her.

Sara, recognizing that she was in the best field position to protect the ball, stepped over it and put herself in a strong body position. Soon, a Kansas player connected with her to challenge the possession, but Ava came in strong behind Sara. They held the ruck steady long enough for Kara to crawl out from under it and for another player to come and pass the ball out to the backline.

The Kansas player seemed to realize that the ruck was over before Sara or Ava did, causing them to fall forward as the player released pressure. Ava tried to steady herself so she didn’t crash down directly into Sara. But rucks were awkward, and things moved so quickly that it was really impossible to control where hands went sometimes. Which Sara became acutely aware of as Ava landed on top of her, both hands flat on Sara’s chest.

They paused.

Rugby often meant close contact with a lot of people and having to get comfortable grabbing people in ways that weren’t normal in everyday life. Similar to wrestling. Boundaries were definitely crossed, but usually, it was quick and part of the regular course of the game so nobody thought twice about it.

But Sara was _definitely_ thinking twice about this contact. And she would probably think of it again later today and maybe even later this week. It hadn’t occurred to her until they were face to face with Ava flat on top of Sara that this is a position that she actually _wanted_ to be in with Ava. In fact, she was disappointed that it had to end.

This was a revelation that, without a doubt in Sara’s mind, was not meant for minute 65 of a very intense game. Or, preferably, for any time at all.

When Sara finally looked up to make eye contact with Ava, she got the impression that Ava was stunned and a little unsure, but it only lasted for a second before her face hardened back to a look of pure focus. She hopped off Sara and ran back towards the current play without even looking down or offering to help Sara up off the ground where she had her pinned seconds ago.

At the very least, Sara respected her commitment to the game.

Thanks to her team’s apparently effortless ability to work together on the field, Sara was able to take a few seconds before she was required to rejoin the line and play more defense.

When the whistle blew, the Siren’s cheered and high-fived their closest teammate, happy to close out their first game with a handed defeat of Kansas.

Unfortunately for them, Kansas was one of the few teams that didn’t participate in the friendly socialing tradition, so the Sirens were back to their hotel for a simple team dinner and an early night so they could get back on the bus for another lovely eight-hour drive.

_____________________________________

The Mondays after games were always the hardest for Ava. Rugby brought with it such an amazing adrenaline rush that lasted for hours after the final whistle blew. It was one of the things that Ava loved most about the sport, but it also made returning to real life a little more dreadful. And to make it worse, this week was also Valentine’s Day.

Ava definitely fell into the cliché of people that hated Valentine’s Day. She thought it was a cheesy hallmark holiday and she had never been a big fan of the people that used it as the one time a year they treated their significant other like royalty when they should be doing that year-round. So Ava didn’t really mind falling into the cliché group of people for the one week in February that people pretended to be in love with love.

The campus was decked out with pink decorations and people at booths selling singing grams, roses, and other nonsense to raise some money for their organizations. Ava admittedly did stop and buy a donut from the Habitat for Humanity table on the way to her first class that morning, but they had Krispy Kreme and she reasoned that it was for a good cause even if the donut was pink.

As usual, she got to her Monday lab a bit early and took her seat in the second row. She liked to use the extra time and quiet classroom to review her homework and briefly skim through the material they were covering that day. It’s one of the things that always made her by far the most prepared person in the room.

But today, another girl walked into the classroom shortly after she did and took the seat a couple of spots down from her. Ava recognized her from the last few weeks of class, and maybe one class from last semester, but she didn’t think anything of the girls’ uncharacteristically early arrival until she had leaned over to talk to Ava.

“Ava right?”

She looked up from her notes to address the girl but was embarrassed to admit that she didn’t actually know her name. “Yup, and you’re …?”

“Casey!” She stuck her hand out for Ava to shake it. “I’ve seen you around campus a bit this year, but didn’t recognize you from any biology classes freshman or sophomore year so I’m guessing you’re a transfer?”

“Guilty. Are you pre-med too?”

“God no, molecular biology.”

Ava quirked an eyebrow at the girl. “That somehow does not sound better than pre-med.”

“Spoken like a true pre-med. I would much rather be in a lab all day than dealing with patients. There’s no bedside manner required for talking to a microscope.” Casey had moved a seat closer to Ava now that they had gotten past the introductions.

“You seem friendly enough for the occasional bedside chat.”

Casey leaned in as if she had some secret to share with Ava. She whispered, “Ah, see, but not every patient would be as beautiful as you.”

Ava blushed, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “Oh stop.”

“I’m just being honest.” Casey backed off a bit with her hands thrown up in jest.

“Sure you are.” Ava smiled back.

She was honestly a little caught off guard by Casey’s friendly nature and overtly flirty comment, but after thinking it over – for as much time as one could when they were in the middle of a conversation – she didn’t want Casey to think that the advances weren’t welcome.

The girl was undoubtedly pretty. She had light blonde hair, with a tinge of red throughout and a spattering of freckles across her face. She seemed shorter than Ava, although it was hard to tell when they were sitting down, and she definitely had an athletic build. Apart from the thick glasses she wore, Ava swore that she seemed more familiar than just occasionally seeing each other around campus, but she couldn’t place her.

She seemed friendly enough, and Ava hadn’t even thought about dating since leaving ESU, so it was a nice change of pace to enjoy some lighthearted banter with someone outside of the rugby team.

Casey pulled her from her inner musings, clearing her throat to speak again. This time with a more obvious amount of nerves.

“If I’m being totally honest, I came to class early with some ulterior motives. I kind of noticed that you always got here way before everyone else and I wanted to try my luck at getting you alone and seeing if you had any interest in going on a date with me this Friday?”

Ava must’ve hesitated because the previously confident girl kept rambling.

“I know we don’t really know each other that well, but we’ve had a few classes together and I think you’re really beautiful, which I’ve totally already said, but you also seem really smart and interesting. If the spark isn’t there we can also totally just be friends… and now I’m totally ranting and embarrassing myself, aren’t I?”

Ava was smirking by the end of her rant, already having decided she was going to say yes two ‘totallys’ ago. Casey seemed to catch on to the glint in Ava’s eyes and relaxed.

“Maybe, but it was cute. I would love to go on a date with you, even if it is _totally_ bad luck to go on a first day on Valentine’s Day.”

“Hey, I like a challenge.” She scratched the back of her neck, the red on her cheeks fading a bit as her confidence seemed to return.

“The molecular biology major gave that away.”

More of the class started to trickle in and Casey moved back towards her seat. She slid a note to Ava a couple of minutes later with her phone number and a note to text her later so they could work out more details.

Ava’s suddenly terrible post-rugby pre-Valentine’s Day mood was suddenly gone and she couldn’t wipe the smile off her face for the rest of the day.

Nora obviously noticed right away when they met up at the library early that evening. She took one look at Ava and grinned.

“What’s got you all happy Ms. I Hate Valentine’s Day?”

Ava scoffed. “Please, I do not sound like that.”

“Even your usual snark doesn’t have power right now. Have a good day?”

“Maybe I did.”

“Secrets, secrets are no fun.”

Ava smacked her friend’s shoulder lightly. “Okay, okay don’t start spouting nursery rhymes at me. I just met a new friend this morning and it put me in a good mood.”

Nora’s grin got impossibly wider. “Ooo! The kind of friend that makes you want to draw little heart doodles instead of listening in class? Let me see that notebook of yours!” Nora reached to pull Ava’s notebook out from in front of her, but Ava quickly pulled it away.

“If I tell you will you stop this?”

“I make no promises.”

Ava smiled despite her friend’s irritating response. “Her name is Casey and I have lab with her on Mondays.”

“And...?”

“She maybe asked me out this morning before class.”

Nora let out a library-friendly shriek. “Tell me more! When’s the date? Is she cute? Do you need help getting ready? Does she know that it’s Valentine’s Day?”

“One thing at a time Nor.” Ava laughed. She was glad that she had someone to share her excitement with. “The date is on Friday, I’m actually not sure whether she realized it was Valentine’s Day or not but she didn’t seem deterred by it when I mentioned it, and yes, I would love your help getting ready.

“Don’t think I didn’t notice that you skipped past the ‘is she cute’ question. We will return to this later or I’ll be forced to answer the door when she gets to our place and embarrass you.”

Ava narrowed her eyes at her friend. “You wouldn’t dare.” 

“Guess you’ll just have to wait and find out.” Nora paused, seemingly taking in Ava and her good mood more carefully. “I’m happy for you Ava.”

Her automatic response was to clam up or get embarrassed at her friend’s appraisal, but it had been a good morning, and Ava had earned the right to be a little excited. “I’m happy for me too.”

When Wednesday rolled around, Ava’s good mood had still not worn off. She was headed back to the library to meet up with Sara for their tutoring session. When English ended last semester, Ava was nervous that Sara was going to revert back to pretending that she didn’t need anyone’s help and suffer through whatever classes she had lined up for the spring. It wasn’t that Ava assumed Sara had a hard time with everything, but she could tell from their time spent together in the library that Sara just needed a little push and someone patient enough to break things down for her.

Unpredictably, when the first Tuesday of the semester rolled around, Sara had casually, although definitely lacking her usual amount of self-assurance, asked Ava if she’d see her in the library the following day. Ava had said yes without even considering that they were on rocky ground.

This semester it was intro to biology, something Ava was much more comfortable with tutoring and they agreed to resume their usual time and place in the library. It felt like the neutral ground and something that they could use as a crutch to ease their way back into comfortable conversation after yet another meltdown between them.

Although Ava was more than a little distracted this week. She and Casey had been texting basically non-stop since they exchanged numbers on Monday. At first, it was just the boring stuff like classes and food, but the more they talked the more Ava relaxed into it.

She was trying hard not to look at her phone or think about her pending date during her tutoring session with Sara, but the other girl was just a little too perceptive.

“What’s up with you tonight, Sharpe? I’ve never seen you look at your phone this many times in an hour.”

Ava, who was currently looking at the back of her flipped over phone placed purposefully out of her reach, snapped back to Sara at hearing her the question. “Umm, it’s nothing, sorry.”

Sara was obviously suspicious of her response. “You wanna tell me about nothing?”

The idea of gushing with Sara over the cute girl in her lab crossed Ava’s mind for approximately half a second. She liked the idea that one day they’d be the type of friends who could do that like she and Nora had done just a couple days before, but then she remembered Sara’s response to Julie and whatever passed between them at the bar over Jamie.

They had both apologized and the small outburst was forgotten, but that didn’t mean Ava thought either of them was ready for round three.

“No, really it’s not a big deal. Just trying to work out plans with a friend on Friday. Let’s get back to the mitochondria.”

Sara groaned. Ava put her phone in her backpack and successfully managed to focus on biology for another hour.

__________________________________

“I think you’re ready.” Nora stood back, observing Ava.

Ava rolled her eyes. “Why are you making it sound like you just gave me a makeover of a lifetime? All you did was tell me to go with the red top instead of the blue and help me straighten the back of my hair.”

“Don’t be ungrateful.”

“Why Nora Doll, I would never,” Ava said, mocking Damien Darhk's nickname for his daughter.

Nora grimaced. “Ew, please never do that again.”

The doorbell rang cutting off any further bickering between the two. Ava practically shoved Nora back into the room so she wouldn’t be the first to the door and say something extremely embarrassing. She couldn’t stop Nora from hovering over her shoulder as she answered the door though.

Ava’s nerves picked up the minute she put her hand on the doorknob, but she was greeted by a big smile and an equally nervous-looking Casey standing at the door. 

“Hi.” Casey waved, a mix of charming and awkward.

“Hi back.”

“Hi from me too!” Nora broke the slight tension causing both girls to laugh.

“Let’s go before Nora goes full dad mode and invites you in to ‘get to know you’ and probably make some weird thinly veiled threat.”

Nora scoffed as Ava tried to close the door fast enough to cut off her words. “My threats should be taken very seriously! Have her back by 10, it’s a school night!”

“She seems fun.” Casey smiled, opening the car door for Ava.

“That’s one word for it.”

The ride to the restaurant was short but filled with idle chatter. They had been in almost constant contact throughout the week, but they filled each other in on the missing details – like Ava finally getting around to finishing the last season of New Girl.

Somehow, the restaurant wasn’t overly crowded and their waiter was able to quickly show them to their table in the back.

“This place must be quite the secret if it’s so empty tonight.”

“Anytime you venture a little bit outside of the campus, it feels like a whole new world. I like to leave the CU bubble at least once a week.”

“Are you from around here?” Somehow in all their chatting, a lot of the basic questions were left unasked. It seemed like the best place to start.

“I am, from Colorado at least.” Casey took a sip of her water, smiling a bit at the expected first date question. “Grew up a little outside of Colorado Springs, but my mom moved to a little suburb east of here when I started school.”

“Tell me about it.”

Ava picked up the menu, glancing at it while still listening to Casey. The name of the restaurant, _Paul’s_ , hadn’t given anything away about the décor or the type of food they’d be eating, and all Casey had said was dress casual. But from a quick glimpse at the menu, it was obviously a burger house so she didn’t have to look over it too many times before making a decision and putting the menu back down.

“Honestly, there isn’t much to tell. It’s just a little suburb, so I imagine it’s a lot like most suburbs. White picket fences, high school politics, growing up with the same kids you’ve known since you were 5.” Casey shrugged. Suburban life was not an exciting topic.

The waiter came and they put in their orders. They sat silently while the waiter refilled their waters and then left the table again quickly.

Ava leaned on her elbows, relaxing as they continued talking. “I always thought the idea of knowing all of your classmates sounded kind of nice. Like a Hallmark movie or something.”

“I’m guessing you’re not from a small town then?”

“Technically, I am. But my dad is in the military so I moved around a lot. I was only at my last high school for two years before I left for college. My parents still live in the same small town but I was always just kind of the new kid.”

Casey’s face lit up like she just found a missing puzzle piece. “Oo, military kid, how did I not know. My dad was in the Airforce.”

“I’m beginning to pick up that a lot of people around here have family in the Airforce or Army. I think it’s the only reason my dad was okay with me moving across the country.”

“Is he pushing for you to enlist after graduation?”

Ava had to hold back the snort that wanted to come out and the ridiculous idea of her dad pushing her to do anything against her mom's wishes. “Definitely not. My parents are very much on the med school train.” 

She didn’t know if he lack of interest in talking about her parents was written on her face or if Casey somehow innately understood that a change of topic was necessary, but Ava was thankful either way.

“So, rugby?”

Ava laughed, raising an eyebrow. “What about it?”

“I maybe remember your fun fact on the first day of class was that you’re on the team here. What’s that like?”

“Well, without sounding too much like a crazy person, I’m absolutely obsessed with it and I wish I could be playing every second.”

Casey let out a loud cackle at Ava’s answer, it was unexpected, by both parties if the blush that followed on her cheeks was any indication, but Ava thought it was adorable.

“Okay, I can understand that. But, like, gimme the breakdown. Pretend I’m standing at your booth during the organization fair and you’re trying to recruit me. What do I need to know about it?”

Ava’s smile grew. The way to her heart was definitely through rugby.

“First and foremost, it’s a contact sport. Totally safe and lots of precautions, but we tackle and we ruck and there’s definitely injuries. But, it’s also completely amazing. It’s fast-paced, and high intensity for all 80 minutes of the game. There’s so much creativity in the way the ball moves around the field. And without a doubt, the best part of the game is the teamwork that’s required. Without the other 14 players on the field having your back, you can’t make anything happen and it’s truly the best feeling of comradery and girl-power there is.”

Ava thought that she sounded like a ranting fool, but Casey was staring at her with big eyes and a huge smile like Ava was the only person in the room. It was hard not to be enamored with someone who was staring at you like you put the stars in the damn sky.

“I think I’m sold. I’ll let my coach know I’m switching teams tomorrow.”

They both laugh, Ava not getting a chance to ask what team she was on before their food arrived. They eat in silence for a bit, each commenting on how good their burger tastes. It should feel awkward, Ava thinks. Sitting here in silence across from a person she’s known for less than five full days, especially because Ava is generally cautious and awkward around new people.

But Casey is easy to talk to, and unlike so many other people she’s become friends with at CU, their conversations don’t feel weighted or restrained. Instead, it feels like Ava has found someone with no connection to the rugby team, or Nora, or her past, that she can just be _Ava_ with.

It wasn’t like she didn’t feel that way with the girls on the team – especially Sara and Alex – but even then, things started off so rocky with the team last fall that it sometimes felt like she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Again, she supposes, since there have been quite a few overly dramatic moments with the team even after things were settled. But there was so much riding on their teamwork and everyone gelling together, that their friendships could feel so delicate.

Tonight though, Ava was able to relax and get to know someone without any pressure or watchful eyes. She could say that she played rugby, answers the usual curious questions, and then leave it at that and move on to another topic instead of it becoming the main focus of her time at CU. Casey asked questions about her classes and Nora, and what type of TV shows she watched when she wasn’t in the gym.

And she got to learn so much about Casey too. Like the fact that she was on the gymnastics team – finally explaining her athletic build that Ava noticed that first day – and that she actually wanted to leave the state for school, but didn’t want to leave her younger brother for too long. She was close with her family since it was just her and her parents for so long before her brother came along when she was 14.

Ava also learned that Casey was extremely sarcastic and practically incapable of holding anything back. She seemed to say exactly what she was thinking at any given moment. It was quickly becoming Ava’s favorite thing about the other girl. She also asked a lot of questions. Not in an annoyingly nosey way, but out of genuine curiosity and desire to get to know who Ava was.

The whole night was surprising. It was comfortable and Ava never felt awkward for a second while they were together.

Perhaps the most surprising moment of all was when Casey walked Ava to her front door and leaned in for a gentle kiss goodnight on her cheek. Ava smiled back at Casey, ducking her head and tucking a piece of hair nervously behind her ear as she waved goodbye to the girl walking back to her car.

It was the perfect ending to what had turned into the perfect evening. Even if it was on Valentine’s Day.

_____________________________________

Sara had felt weird since Friday night, and like most things in her life these days, Ava was at the center of that feeling.

They weren’t fighting, per se. Mainly because Ava didn’t even know anything was off with Sara and also because they haven’t even spoken since practice on Thursday, but Sara would be lying if she said that she wanted to see the other girl right now.

Ava told her that she had _plans_ with a _friend_ and then somehow, that translated into Sara watching Ava _make out_ with some girl on the front porch of her house at midnight.

Okay, fine, maybe make out was a stretch, it was just a kiss on the cheek. But Sara didn’t like it.

At first, she was upset that Ava had lied about, or omitted, that she had what was clearly a date. They were supposed friends, and friends told each other that stuff. It felt a little irrational, but it was the easiest way for Sara to put a reason behind the feelings at first.

But then Sara really thought about it – like holed up in her room for two days thinking about nothing but that stupid kiss – and realized that watching the end to what must have been a really good date, hurt for reasons much deeper than a simple omission.

It hurt because Sara had _feelings_ for Ava.

She’d been telling herself for weeks now that she just really liked being around Ava and it felt good to let someone else into her inner circle for the first time in a long time. But Sara was maybe finally ready to admit that it wasn’t just that.

Ava was kind to Sara, she helped her study and run through plays. She called her out on her bullshit when it was necessary. She pushed back against Sara in a way that made her better, made her want to be a better person. She asked Sara about her day and texted her ‘good luck’ before tests. She calmed Sara down on Christmas when everything went to shit.

It felt like this had been coming for weeks, maybe months, and Sara was trying so badly not to admit that she was falling for her slowly. Somehow, it felt like a defeat to admit that after trying so hard just to become Ava’s friend and finally accomplishing that, that Sara was never going to be able to _just_ be her friend. She was tired of feeling like every week there was a new setback between them like the universe just didn’t want their friendship to work out.

But Sara decided if the universe wasn’t going to give them a break, she would take it upon herself to make sure this didn’t get to her. It was just a dumb crush, right? She’s been friends with people she had a crush on before.

There was Jenny in the 8th grade that Sara sat behind in math class, and Ben from camp later that summer. She wasn’t really close friends with either of them, but it still stung when they so clearly didn’t like her back, and she had survived those. And then she’d had a huge crush on her friend Hunter in the 10th grade. He was on the baseball team and they had lunch and a couple of classes together so they had actually gotten pretty close. The crush only lasted a month or so, but Sara helped him start dating another girl on the team that semester.

So, if Ava wanted to date, then Sara would be totally fine. Even if that meant pretending that she didn’t know Ava was dating. Being a good friend definitely meant that she would wait until Ava was ready to tell her.

But for now, she was trying to get over herself and extend an olive branch to Ava. One that Ava didn’t even know was necessary, but whatever.

She knocked on Ava and Nora’s front door. Luckily Ava was the one that answered because Sara didn’t know if she would be able to muster up the courage to knock on this door twice today.

“Hey Sharpe, I’ve got a little proposition for you.”

Ava quirked an eyebrow, “Should I be nervous?”

“Never,” Sara winked. “This is purely a proposition between a captain and her basically co-captain.”

“Isn’t Zari the ass-cap?”

“Yes, technically, but I can’t involve her in this scheme because she’s at the center of it.”

Ava’s interest was certainly piqued. “Okay, I’ll bite. What’s up?”

“So you know how Zari and Charlie are secretly drooling over each other but neither will make a move because they’re too chicken shit?”

“Duh.”

“I think we can use the Valentine’s Day buddy draw as a chance to give them a little kick in the butt.”

“Valentine’s Day buddy draw?” Ava’s curiosity turned to confusion.

“Right! Sometimes I forget just how new you are around here. It’s a silly Siren’s tradition, the captain draws names and assigns people a secret valentine and you have to buy them a little present. It’s nothing crazy, I think we capped the budget at $15 last year, but it’s a nice way to encourage friendships and Gideon appreciates when we do things that aren’t centered around alcohol.”

Ava, now understanding what exactly she was getting herself into, picked up on where Sara was going with her proposition. “I like it. When are you drawing the names?”

“I was kind of supposed to do it last week since Valentine’s Day is already over, but I forgot, so… right now. Wanna help?”

“Help scheme to get two of our obliviously in love friends together for Valentine’s Day and encourage people to nurture healthy bonds with their teammates? How could I say no?”

Sara couldn’t help but smile at Ava’s excitement. “Wow, you are such a nerd.”

“Whatever, show me how this is done,” Ava said, inviting Sara into her house.

“Okay, well usually, we just throw all the names in a bowl and pick them randomly so it’s less of an assignment, but obviously I’m trying to scheme here so I can’t leave anything up to chance.”

“Right, so are we picking for everyone then, or do we just not put their names in the bowl?”

“Assigning everyone sees like way too much work, so let’s go with option one.”

Sara and Ava threw everyone’s name, sans Charlie and Zari, into the bowl and drew one by one until the whole team was matched up. It wasn’t a lot of work, and frankly, Sara could’ve done this without anyone's help, but it was nice to have an excuse to spend the afternoon with Ava rather than sulking in her room. When the picking was done, they split the team-up between them and sent out texts letting each person know who they got and that they had until the end of next week to find a gift for $15 or less. 

After the actual drawing had ended, Sara’s excuse to be there was over and she had a moment of hesitation where she wasn’t actually sure that Ava would want her to hang around any longer. But the moment was short-lived when Ava easily asked Sara if she wanted to get some food on campus and watch a movie or something.

Halfway through the movie (they had landed on _Legally_ _Blonde_ ), Ava turned to Sara.

“Hey, I just realized that we forgot to throw our own names in the mix.”

Sara acted like the thought never crossed her mind either. She lightly chuckled to cover up her not-so-real surprise.

“Let’s just consider the beautiful love we’re building between our friends and the time we’ve spent together today as a gift to each other. I know my presence is a damn gift.”

Ava pushed Sara lightly, rolling her eyes. “Whatever you say, Lance.”

So the $15 gift exchange probably wasn’t going to be the push that Charlie and Zari needed to fall in love – especially since the two idiots will somehow undoubtedly manage to get each other the exact same bottle of cheap wine or something – but Sara still considered her plan a success.

Focusing on Charlie and Zari gave her and Ava a common goal to work for and it provided Sara with the desperately needed distraction from her own thoughts.

And if she got to spend a whole day trying to slyly stare at Ava and practice burying her newly admitted feelings, then she’d take that as a bonus too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides while pointing at the slow burn tag* 
> 
> Would love to tell you why I made them pre-med and molecular biology majors because I googled SO many things about both of those majors for background info that I then cut out of the chapter. Next story everyone is a polisci major (yells at self not to start a politics au)
> 
> Also, I made myself really like Casey in this chapter which was not intentional, but she's gonna keep popping up so at least I don't hate writing her. This is still an Avalance story though don’t worry!!! Ava just needs to find her feet outside the rugby team too! 
> 
> Next up: Family weekend and the return of my favorite character, Laurel Lance!! Maybe she can knock some sense into them. Thankfully the chapter is already written so I should be able to get it up next week.


	17. Laurel Does Not Have Time For Your Denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, please google videos/pictures of prom dress rugby. I promise it won’t disappoint you. By far the most fun I had in college. 
> 
> This is a little bit shorter than the last few chapters, but it’s fun and Laurel is back so I think that evens it out.
> 
> I’m glad y’all really liked seeing Ava outside the team and with Casey last chapter. We’ll for sure be seeing some more of her coming up. 
> 
> Buckle in, the slow burn is definitely not coming to an end just yet.
> 
> Happy reading!

February passed in a haze of rugby and classes, but the Sirens came out of the month with a 3-0 record and they were definitely all ready for a weekend off. With so much happening in their season and their personal lives’, family weekend snuck up on them.

Most girls had one parent, if not two, or a grandparent, or someone that was willing to come to campus for a weekend in March to watch the team play a friendly prom-dress scrimmage amongst themselves and then stick around for a BBQ and some games.

Prom-dress, one of the more interesting rugby traditions, was always a crowd-pleaser for the families. There was nothing quite like watching 30 women in thrift store prom-style dresses play rugby. It was more lighthearted than the actual in-season games, which comforted parents who were unfamiliar with the allegedly violent sport, and the ladies all got a kick out of the relaxed scrimmage in the middle of an intense spring season.

For some, however, family weekend brought with it a mixed bag of emotions. Ava’s parents thought that it was a waste of their _precious_ time to come to CU to watch them play a game that didn’t actually count in their season.

 _As if they would come even if the game did mean something_ , Ava thought bitterly.

She was nervous that she would be awkwardly single among a sea of families for all the team-sponsored activities like she was during her time at ESU. But much to Ava’s surprise, Laurel walked onto campus and didn’t hesitate to claim both her and Sara as her family the first night.

_Ava walked into the large room on campus they had rented for their ‘introduce the families’ night. She came late, trying to downplay as much as she could that she wasn’t with her parents, and walked over towards Nora and her family who were sitting in the back chatting with Gideon._

_“Ava!” She turned to follow the sound of her voice and saw Laurel walking towards her with a big smile. “Sara said you’d probably be late so I saved you a spot with us. I wanna be able to see your face clearly when I tell everyone a funny story about you.”_

_Her anxieties immediately subsided as she walked back to the table with Sara, Laurel, Zari, and Zari’s parents._

_Sara leaned forward to look around Laurel who was sitting between them and smiled at Ava. She did her best to tone down how she felt about her parents not being here this weekend, telling everyone that she was glad they wouldn’t be around. But it was clear Sara saw straight through her and made sure to include her in the best way she knew how._

_Ava smiled back at Sara. She was shocked again at how thoughtful Sara Lance could be._

Laurel ended up absolutely making up a story about Ava, flawlessly making it sound like she had known the girl for years. It was easy to tell from her public speaking how she thrived in front of a jury.

The tradition of the families telling funny stories was unexpected, but a new favorite of Ava’s after this weekend. She heard all about Charlie and Amaya as children, with their parents telling a very impressive story of an epic holiday meltdown when Charlie spent the evening finger-painting the walls in her underwear while Amaya threw a fit because she didn’t like the bow her parents put in her hair.

Zari’s family told a concerning number of stories surrounding their daughter’s obsession with baked goods, although they were mostly about donuts. She had least had the decency to look slightly embarrassed when the story started and the whole room was staring at her with half a cookie in her mouth.

Nora’s dad managed to find a story that was 90% bragging about his daughter’s intelligence and only 10% funny. The funny parts, however, weren’t even a part of the story and rather came from Nora’s background commentary and gestures.

Unsurprisingly, most of the girls’ families told stories about how they knew their child was going to be athletic from a young age, with the occasional tidbit about roughhousing or aggression that they were glad their daughter had found an outlet for in rugby.

The stories were sweet and hilarious, and it was the perfect start to the weekend. The game was obviously hilarious, both to play and watch, but the real highlight had been seeing everyone’s parents and just watching how the girls all interacted with their families.

Ava smiled to herself as she sat in a chair with an empty plate in her lap watching her teammates and their families play games and chat in the backyard of Chop Shop. The weekend had been nice. Really nice, actually, and Ava couldn’t help but smile to herself thinking about it. College could be such a bubble sometimes that it was nice to hear about her people in the outside world.

_Her people, huh._

Ava hadn’t thought about the team like that before. These people had been so amazing over the past year. Accepting her when she was at such a low point in her life and she wanted nothing to do with opening up to a new team.

Her eyes landed on Sara, who was talking to Laurel and Zari across the yard. Sara was smiling, her eyes closing a bit, her cheekbones becoming more prominent and dimples on full display.

It was rare that Sara let down her guard completely and honestly looked like she was relaxed. She was always so worried about the people around her, Ava thought that it was endearing but she also worried about her sometimes. It was nice to see her actually look lighthearted for once.

Ava was too distracted by Sara, and her unabashed appreciation of how carefree and happy the captain looked in that moment to notice that Laurel had excused herself from the conversation and was walking towards her.

She plopped down in the chair next to Ava, spilling a bit of her wine onto the grass, and turned towards Ava with a big smirk on her face.

Ava couldn’t help but chuckle at the older Lance sister. “Hey, Laurel, how ya feeling?”

“I won’t lie to you Ava, I’ve had a lot of wine today and I’m feeling pretty great.”

Laurel leaned in closer, putting her hand on top of Ava’s arm that was resting on the chair. “Look, Ava, I know that this is only the second time we’ve really been around each other, but once you’re in the Lance trust bubble, you’re stuck.”

Ava’s smile got bigger, choosing not to question what exactly the ‘trust bubble’ was. But she was weirdly happy to hear that, even it was coming from a different Lance sister than she would have liked.

Laurel seemed to sober a bit, looking more intensely at Ava before she spoke again. “My sister likes you.” Ava’s entire body freezes at the words, but Laurel doesn’t seem to notice. “Not that she’s going to admit that.”

“Laurel I don’t think—” Ava tries to interrupt her. It feels wrong, like a violation of Sara’s privacy to listen to her drunk sister’s ramblings right now.

But Laurel just continues on. “She’s so stubborn sometimes ya know? She feels things so deeply and so intensely, but she also gets scared of how much she feels and I think she’s afraid of what it means to let someone in. After Nyssa last year, I was really worried about her. She was so broken and dealing with things in such an unhealthy way. I know she got that from our Dad, and I’m guilty of it too, but I didn’t know how to pull her out of it. Even Zari and Nate were stumped on how to help her. I don’t think I really saw her _feel_ again until she called me to complain about some new girl that was getting under her skin at practice.”

Having given up on interrupting Laurel or trying to steer the conversation in a different direction, Ava just listened, happy to hear that she could have such an effect on the captain. Sometimes it was easy to forget that Sara might have been different before they came into each other’s lives.

“You sparked something in her Ava. At first, that thing was definitely frustrating. But then whatever it was kept changing. When she brought you home for Christmas I knew there was something special about you. And you totally lived up to that with how you handled that shit show. I don’t know if Sara has figured it out yet, or if you’re ready to admit what’s happening yourself, but I just wanted you to know that I’m glad you came into her life. And know that no matter what, you’ve got more family looking out for you now.”

Ava was trying very hard not to let the tears gathering in her eyes spillover. “Laurel, thank you. For all of that. I’m honored to be part of your family.”

Laurel patted Ava’s arm where she’d be holding it, snapping out of the intense moment between the two.

“Well, this looks like trouble,” Sara said, standing in front of the two and looking down at them in the chairs.

“I don’t know what you mean dear sister of mine. My bestie and I were just talking.”

“See this is why I never bring anyone home with me Laur, they always like you better.”

“I can’t apologize that I have more charm than you little sis.”

Ava chimed into the sisters’ banter. “Plus, she was so much nicer to me.”

Sara scoffed, playfully offended. “I am so nice to you Sharpe. I’ve been nothing but nice since we met.”

Trying to keep things light, Ava skillfully guided the conversation away from how nice the two had been to each other. That Pandora’s box was not a conversation for a family barbeque.

“Whatever you say, Lance. How about we team up in some corn hole and show some of our friends what’s up? I think we could easily wrangle the Danvers sisters into a game.”

“I like the way you think Sharpe.” Sara grabbed Ava’s hand and pulled her up, bumping her hip as they walked towards the empty corn hole boards.

Laurel followed the two across the lawn, smiling at them the entire time. She didn’t have the coordination to join in right now, but that doesn’t mean she couldn’t mess with them while it happened.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite Lance sister.” Alex walked up, slinging the arm not holding her drink over Laurel’s shoulder. “Have I ever told you how much I love when you come to visit?”

“Not nearly enough, and I do love hearing it. Especially from such a pretty face.” Laurel squished Alex’s face with her free hand, remaining tucked into Alex’s side.

Alex raised an eyebrow at Laurel. “I can say a lot more if it’ll get you to keep complimenting me.”

Sara turned sharply towards Alex. “Danvers. Are you flirting with my sister?”

Alex mocked offense, putting a hand on her chest. “Sara, I’m hurt you’d even ask that.”

“See, now I know you are because you just called me Sara.”

Laurel shoved Sara playfully and turned to look at Alex more. “Don’t mind her, she’s just jealous that your attention is on me and not her.”

“There’s enough of me for both of you, don’t worry Lance,” Alex said, winking at Sara.

Sara scoffed loudly. “Oh please, as if you could ever handle both of us.”

Blushing a little bit at the implication, Alex took her arm off of Laurel and moved closer to the corn hole boards. She cleared her throat. “Didn’t we have a game to play here?”

Sara and Laurel just laughed, both enjoying embarrassing Alex. It was just too easy.

Kara walked up to the group. “I see Alex fell for the Lance charm once again. She should know better than to take the two of you on.”

Ava had just been observing, trying not to get in her head about the way that Sara and Alex so easily joked around with each other. She knew that her and Sara had their own repartee, but anyone could see that she and Alex’s had a level of comfortability that came with knowing each other for years. Even Kara, who had just met Laurel this weekend, was able to piggyback off her sister’s comfort with the Lance’s.

When she was finally able to shake away the thoughts of jealousy, Ava chimed in as well. “It was actually pretty entertaining to watch the big bad Alex Danvers get taken down by the two of them.”

“Hello, we were gonna play a game here?” Alex yelled over to the group. She had walked away, setting up the beanbags where they needed to be and coincidentally moving out of hearing range in doing so.

The four took their places around the board, quickly falling into competition mode. Ava, not being able to stand losing, immediately challenged Alex and Kara to two out of three when the Danvers sisters easily wiped the floor them in the first game. Thanks to mostly Ava, she and Sara came out on top in the second game, but the sisters were able to come back and take the third game for the win.

By the time they finished playing, the sun had started to set and families were dispersing. Kara and Alex grabbed their mom from a conversation with another parent about how ‘lovely it was that all their girls got along so well,’ and headed out for the night as well.

Ava waived to the ladies of Chop Shop as she headed out with the Darhks, having promised Nora that she would keep her company at their family dinner. Sara did not envy her.

Mr. and Mrs. Jiwe had headed out early, having to catch an early flight the next day, so the twins, Laurel, and Sara retired to the living room. It had been a very long, exhausting, and fun day. Sara put on a 13 Going on 30, a house favorite, and soon all four of them were asleep.

_____________________________________

Sunday morning, Sara and Laurel headed to brunch before Laurel had to head back home.

Laurel slumped over in the seat of Sara’s car, happy to be a passenger and not have to focus on anything besides breathing. “Is the sun in Boulder brighter? Do these sunglasses even work?”

Sara chuckled at her sister. “Dramatic as ever Laur. I think you maybe just drank too much of that Franzia yesterday.”

“Who buys Franzia? I’m not used to that quality of booze.”

“We’re college students, dude. You’re lucky we even had the funds to provide free alcohol.”

Laurel just groaned and rolled over in her seat, planting her face against the cool window. She heard her sister laughing.

“Don’t laugh at me, I am dying and it’s your fault.”

“I didn’t make you drink anything.”

This time, Laurel grunted and then remained silent until they got to the restaurant. Sara’s favorite brunch spot was a hidden secret not too far from campus. It wasn’t anything fancy, but they had awesome breakfast sandwiches and that was all she really needed.

She walked up to the counter and ordered two bacon, egg, and cheese sandwiches on an everything bagel with a splash of hot sauce and then met Laurel at the table she grabbed in the corner.

Sara was surprised to see her sister take the sandwich with so much gusto, but not before she prefaced, “I feel that it needs to be said that I am suffering and you’re lucky I love you enough to get out of bed for you.”

“I appreciate your sacrifice. You’re definitely the world’s best big sister.” Sara laughed at her sister. The two ate in silence for a little bit, just enjoying the food and for Laurel, trying not to let her hangover win.

“How’d you like the weekend?”

Laurel finished chewing before she answered. “Better than last year that’s for sure.”

Sara rolled her eyes at her sister. “Okay, other than not having to deal with me and Nyssa’s shit, did you have a good time?”

“I did, you know I always like seeing you and the rest of the girls. Ava’s a great addition to the mix, and Alex’s little sister is hilarious.”

“Kara is definitely one of a kind. I feel like I’ve gained a little sister with her on the team this year, but in the best way possible.”

“And you and Ava seem to have gotten past the _Julie_ situation.”

“Don’t start Laur.”

Laurel threw up her hands in innocence. “I didn’t say anything.”

“I knew what you weren’t saying though.”

Laurel knew there was more her little sister wasn’t saying and she could tell something happened over Valentine’s Day that Sara had sidestepped a few times. She decided it was time to take a chance. “But you want more with her right?”

Sara hesitated. She always felt comfortable talking to her sister about things, and she really needed to get some of this out. Still, her voice came out unsure and wholly unlike her. “Yes.”

“Yes?” Laurel couldn’t hide her shock at her sister’s honest answer.

“I don’t even know when it happened Laur.” Sara sighed, sitting back in her chair. “At first I could just tell that I liked being around her and she was so great to me at Christmas, and then there was that whole thing with Julie where I was so obviously jealous but very deep in denial. Which I think everyone except me was aware of, I wish someone could’ve laid it out for me. But I think it just got to the point where I couldn’t deny it anymore, especially after seeing Ava gush at her phone all week and say goodnight to some girl on her doorstep after a date.”

Laurel wanted to say more – to ask more questions or dig further into Sara’s reveal – but Sara seemed to shake off whatever feeling led to her confession and sat up straighter, saying, “But it doesn’t matter.”

She scrunched her eyebrows together. “Why not?”

“Well, for one, she only sees me as a friend. And don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for that and our friendship is important to me and clearly she has someone in her life. But even if she did feel more, I’m not going to risk the team environment for a relationship. I can’t do that to them again.”

“Sara, I don’t think that’s how anyone would see it.”

“But it’s how I would see it.”

Laurel sighed. “I’m gonna say one thing and then we can drop this and I pinky-swear that I won’t bring it back up unless you do first.” Sara nodded, letting her sister know that she would listen to her just this once. “The team you guys have put together this year is different. The attitude is better, your chemistry as a team is better, and I think you can feel that things wouldn’t be the same as they were with Nyssa. If even I can see that, then the girls on the team can definitely feel it. But I also understand why you’re hesitant and I’m still in awe of how you’re so selfless with your team and your friends. It’s incredible that you’re thinking about how they would feel rather than just pursuing what you want. I’m sure that it’s one of the reasons that they nominated you captain, but Sara, you’re 21. You deserve to have a little fun and enjoy your life outside of rugby, okay? I just want you to promise me that when the time _really_ comes you’ll be willing to do what you need to for your own happiness?”

Sara was a little stunned. She’d never seen her concern for those around her as something that was holding her back from her own happiness. It didn’t feel like that was the case, but maybe there was some truth in her words.

“I’ll think about it, Laur.” It wasn’t a promise, but it was the best that Sara could do without feeling like she was lying.

Laurel nodded. She was willing to accept that. “Okay now let me finish this sandwich in peace and then I need to get back home so I can ride out this hangover from the comfort of my own bed.”

“Deal.” 

______________________________________________

After Sara returned home and said goodbye to her sister, she reluctantly crawled into her room to do her homework for the week ahead.

A few hours later, she was pointedly ignoring the textbook open on her lap and scrolling through Instagram, like any good college student, when Zari burst in her room and flopped dramatically onto her bed.

“UGH!”

Sara waited a minute to see if Zari was going to willingly volunteer any more information. When she didn’t, Sara closed her book and finally looked up.

“Oh, hey Z, didn’t see ya come in.” She says with a sickeningly sweet, sarcastic tone. “Did you want to talk about something or are you just here to practice your caveman sounds?”

“No.”

“Hmmm okay, wanna talk about event planning then, cause I’ve got a test in a few days so I could—”

“It’s fucking Charlie and her stupid face and her stupid wink.”

 _Wink?_ Sara thought. “O-kay, well that explains why you’re in here and not in Amaya’s room. It’d be hard to vent to her about hating Charlie’s face.”

The jokes didn’t seem to be deterring Zari’s rant and Sara had a feeling that Zari really needed to get out whatever she was about to say whether Sara was listening or not. So Sara stayed silent and waited for her friend to start talking again.

“It’s not the face, it’s just the way she uses it and that smirk and the way her stupid mouth makes everything flirty. Can’t she just turn it off for five minutes? We’re in the middle of ordering lunch, right, and it’s like I’m not even there. She’s just flirting with the waitress and forgetting to order my drink.” Zari was sitting up now, getting more heated as she went on.

“I come back from the bathroom and this _chick_ is sitting on my stool like I’ve been gone for an hour. So, I’m like fuck this and I leave. And Charlie has the audacity to come after me and act like she’s _so_ confused why I’m mad. She’s out to lunch with me and replaces me the second I’m gone. I swear her vagina is in charge and her head is just there for display.”

When Sara feels confident that Zari is finished, she takes a second to digest everything and then does her best to sum up what Zari was actually trying to say. “So… Charlie is an ass that flirts too much and puts getting laid ahead of your friendship?” Sara paused for a second, emphasizing the second option to her friend. “Orrrr are you finally ready to admit you’re jealous?”

“Jealous? What? I’m not jealous. I’m pissed that Charlie ditched me on our lunch date - our purely platonic friend lunch date - to flirt with some girl. I have better things to do than be ignored by my friend in a restaurant.”

“Z, I love you, but your denial is reaching impressive levels right now.”

“It’s not denial dude. She’s my best friend and I’m just annoyed. I’m allowed to be annoyed about a friend’s shitty behavior.”

“Okay that would be fair, and I’m fully willing to admit that friendship jealousy is a very real thing and your feelings about that would be totally valid, except in high school we used to do that shit all the time. You used to be the biggest encourager for Nate when he wanted to ditch us for some girl he would meet.”

“That’s different. Nate has to seize his opportunities. They were rare. I think we’re all still confused about what Amaya sees in that nerd.” Zari said teasingly.

“Don’t you change the subject on me.” Sara pointed at Zari and smiled in an attempt to keep things light. “All I’m saying is that maybe you should consider what you got so angry about.”

Zari sighed and flopped back on to Sara’s bed. “Kind of like your standoff with Ava at the bar over that Jamie chick?”

Sara was surprised to hear her friend bring that up, but this wasn’t about her right now. “Changing the subject again Z.”

“Maybe, but you know if you want to talk about all that I’m here right?”

“Same goes for you, which is what I’m trying to do right now if you’d stop changing the subject.”

Finally, the beginnings of a smile came over Zari’s features. “Can’t you just be a bad friend and bash Charlie with me instead of throwing all this logic and reasoning in my face?”

“Sorry Z, maybe try Nora next time? You know she loves a good sarcasm-fest.” Sara said flopping down on the bed next to Zari.

“Good point. I think I’ll replace you with her from now on.”

Sara grabbed the pillow under her head and smacked her friend in the face with it. “Jerk.”

They sat there in silence for a little while longer. Zari thinking harder about why she got so angry and Sara thinking about Ava’s apparent jealousy towards Jamie. There’s no way that was the same thing, right? Ava was annoyed because she was already mad at Sara for being an ass earlier that day. Definitely not because she was jealous.

And, well, Sara was fully willing to admit that she did not handle Ava kissing whoever that girl was the other night very well. But at least her jealousy had spurred her realization that she had feelings for Ava. Clearly that was not going to be the case for Zari.

Zari sat up. “I guess I can let you get back to ignoring your textbook for Instagram.”

“Oh good. I have a strict schedule of ignoring my homework for at least another hour.” They both chuckled before Sara got a little more serious one last night. “Promise me you’ll think about what I said though, yeah?”

“Yeah yeah. I’ll take the counsel of my advisors into consideration. As soon as you consider mine too.”

“Nerd,” Sara shouted at Zari’s retreating form, definitely ignoring the last bit. Zari was so off about her and Ava. Even if Sara had acknowledged that she was feeling _something_ towards the tall blonde these days, there was no way that Ava felt the same way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’ve officially reached the end of any pre-written chapters I had, and the bar exam is in like 5 days so I will probably not be posting next week unless by some magic I somehow quickly regain brain function and motivation


	18. Ice cream with a side of tension

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back and I survived the bar. TBD if I passed it or merely survived and have to do it all again, but for now, we write! This chapter is like 80% rugby so I hope you’re ready to get the feel for a full game. 
> 
> We’re winding down on the season so this is probably the most rugby you’ll see for the rest of the story – so if you like it then yay a rugby chapter and if you don’t then yay no more of it. Everyone wins!
> 
> Not gonna lie, getting back into the swing of things with this chapter was a little rough so hopefully, I didn’t completely botch this one. 
> 
> Rugby lingo: I don’t think I’ve had to mention this yet but referees in rugby are called a “Sir” – I have no idea why but a nuance of the game nonetheless.
> 
> **Edit - clarified a small error thank you @Warriorbowler for the heads up!! (told y'all my brain is much from that exam still whoops)

Sara was nervous. Maybe more nervous than she had ever been in her life.

The film from the final game of their season last year was paused in front of her – their losing score burning a hole in her brain. Her notebooks were scattered with scribbles of half plays and notes for the team. All in preparation for the final game standing between them and nationals. 

She had already watched the entire game through three times this week and she was starting to lose control of her thoughts.

Her memory of the week leading up to this same game last year is a little fuzzy now, with her personal life imploding slowly, but Nyssa had given the team a lot of false confidence and done very little in terms of preparation.

They entered the game against the University of Washington with so much confidence and pride – their undefeated record lulling them into complacency. But then they’d gone in and practically played the whole game on defense. It was utterly exhausting and they lost 31-24, ending their season and wrecking Sara’s emotional state for more weeks than she’d like to admit.

Sara was determined not to let that happen again.

This year felt different for a number of reasons really. She’d been saying it since the beginning of the fall, but simply put, the team chemistry and the level of skill was just _better_. And as if that wasn’t enough, Sara has made sure that their preparation and focus were better as well.

She knew that this was going to be the year that they _finally_ beat them and made it to nationals. But that didn’t mean watching them lose the same crushing game over and over wasn’t messing with her head just a little bit.

Just when she was about to start the game over again, Ava walked casually into her room and plopped down on the bed next to her.

“Oh so we’ve moved past the knocking now and we’re just barging in?”

Ava slapped her lightly. “Shut up, you love it.”

Sara had to physically stop herself from responding with something entirely too flirty for the friendship she had with Ava.

“Why are you watching this game?” Ava pointed to the TV and notebooks Sara was surrounded by.

“I just want to be ready for them this time. I’m trying to see where it all broke down so that I can prevent it from happening again this weekend.”

Ava grabbed the remote from Sara and turned the TV off. “Sara, we’re not the same team we were last year. Kara is a way better fullback which means our defense is ten times stronger. Plus, Nyssa was a selfish and entirely uncreative flyhalf. I’d like to think I command the field better than she ever did. And Washington lost their two best players to graduation last year. They don’t stand a chance.”

Sara gaped at Ava, mouth open with nothing to say in response. She’d been driving herself nuts for a week, pinpointing every weakness in both teams, and coming up with a strategy after strategy just in case something went wrong. And Ava had just walked in and put aside every negative thought she’d had as if this was just any other game.

Ava gave Sara a weird look with her silence. “Don’t tell me the cocky Sara Lance is nervous about this game?”

The teasing in her voice knocked Sara from her stupor. “There’s a difference between cocky and confident, Sharpe. And we went into the game last year with the same amount of confidence that you have right now, so I’m probably just overthinking things.”

“Well then let me distract you.”

Sara’s mind immediately went to a place that it should absolutely not be. _Damn it, Lance, keep it together._

“What did you have in mind?”

Ava closed a couple of Sara’s notebooks and pulled her up from the bed. “Come on, let’s go get ice cream and I promise, if you behave long enough, we can talk over some of the things you’re concerned about and I can try to put your mind at ease.”

_Oh god, why does everything she says sound like an innuendo now?_

Despite having zero confidence in herself to survive watching Ava eat ice cream or get through this not-date with Ava, Sara found herself walking out the door. 

And Ava was right, ice cream was a good distraction. If only because Sara had to focus so hard on not just _watching_ Ava or falling responding to everything with something flirtatious. She just had to keep reminding herself that they were friends and that was exactly what she wanted.

Since the realization that her feelings for Ava hadn’t really been platonic for months now, that reminder was becoming harder and harder to swallow.

Sara should’ve known that they couldn’t get through an ice cream outing without something going wrong.

Ava was mid-sentence when her eyes went wide at something behind Sara. It was only for a moment, but Sara saw the panic in Ava’s face before it morphed into a happy smile. 

“Casey!”

“Hey you, I saw you through the window and thought I’d come say hi.” 

As much as she didn’t want to look, because she knew it was going to be the girl that she saw kissing Ava the other night, her curiosity won out over the dream forming in the pit of her stomach.

 _Casey_. Apparently.

“What are you doing over on this side of campus?” Ava was suspiciously avoiding looking back towards Sara. Like if she didn’t look that meant she didn’t have to address the fact that she was very much dating this person and

“I don’t live in the science building, Ava.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

Oh god, they were flirting. How was Sara expected to sit here and watch this?

Finally pulling herself from Ava, Casey turned her attention to Sara. She smiled at her, but it wasn’t a genuine one. Her eyes scanned Sara like she was assessing the enemy. It happened quickly, so quickly that Ava didn’t even seem to notice the exchange between the two women around her, and then Casey’s face was back to a neutral smile. 

“You must be the famous Sara Lance that I’ve heard so much about from Ava.”

Sara knew she had a decision to make at that moment. Sarcasm and banter were practically her second language, and Ava knew better than anyone that Sara could walk the line between polite and downright disrespect when she had a point to prove. Based on the look that Casey gave her, she was expecting some push back from Sara, and god, it would feel so good to show this girl up.

But she was _trying_ to be Ava’s friend. And friends were nice to new girlfriends.

So Sara gritted her teeth and put on her nicest smile. “That’s me! Casey right? Ava’s had nothing but good things to say!”

Casey easily picked up on what was happening, eyeing Sara distrustfully, but recognizing that neither of them was going to address what was really happening between them in front of Ava.

“Glad to hear this one is talking about me when I’m not around.” She turned back towards Ava, her smile growing a little bigger with a hint of _something_. “I’ve gotta run to meet some people for a group project, but text me later Aves?”

Ava, who was quietly hoping that a hole would open in the ground and swallow her up, snapped back to attention at the nickname. “Yeah, yeah, definitely.”

After she left the ice cream shop again, the tension hung between them for a long moment.

“So, Casey?”

Ava groaned. “Sara – don’t.”

“Don’t what? I just covered for you, I think I deserve at least a little bit of information.” Even with the big smirk on her face, Sara knew she was pushing her luck. But if she could choke down every ounce of pride she had and be nice then Ava could open up a little bit.

Ava’s first instinct was to snap at Sara and tell her that it was none of her business. It was nice to have something that was just hers and wasn’t under the scrutiny of every person on the team. And things with Casey had been going well. It wasn’t like telling Sara would somehow suddenly ruin things, but it felt like Sara’s question held more weight than it should.

She figured she had to answer anyways.

“Fine. You get three questions, but don’t be a jerk.”

“Me? A jerk? Ava Sharpe, you wound me.”

The tension faded a little between them, and Ava relaxed back into her chair.

“Just ask your questions before I change my mind, Lance.”

Sara pretended to think hard as if the questions were waiting to jump out. “Are you guys dating?”

“Yes, we have been on a couple of dates, but nothing official yet.”

“How’d you meet?”

“We have a lab together.”

Sara could push a little harder, see if she could push Ava’s buttons a little bit now that Casey was gone and things had returned to normal. But, there was really only one thing she needed to know.

“Do you like her?”

The sharp pain that the question shot through her was nothing compared to the feeling of watching a small smile cross Ava’s face. It told Sara everything she needed to know.

“I do.”

Sara swallowed hard. “Good.”

At the end of the day, she wanted Ava to be happy. Even if she wasn’t the one to do it.

_______________________________________________

Sara could feel the adrenaline coursing through her from the second she woke up on Saturday.

The locker room was quiet. Even the new players seemed to pick up on how much this game meant for the team and their season. With Nationals riding on the outcome, no one was in the mood to joke around.

It was a little worrisome just how serious they were being because even though the Sirens could definitely turn it on when they had to, the looseness was part of what made them so special.

Alex seemed to read her mind because she pulled out a speaker and put on Hailee Steinfeld radio at full volume. Slowly but surely, every player’s resolve had cracked. With smiles on their faces, and the stiffness dispersing, Sara felt like they were ready for whatever Washington was going to throw at them.

The coin toss was simple, she and Zari had met the other team at the halfway mark enough times together that they knew the drill. Each player shook hands with the Sirs and the opposing team. Since they were at home, Washington called the coin toss and won. The Sirens would be kicking off to them.

Sara and the team lined up at the half, 6 players on her right, 7 on her left, and Kara dropping behind her.

She looked down the line to make sure her team was ready, and the Sir blew his whistle to signal the start of the game.

From the second the ball left Sara’s foot, the game was tense. And not just the type of tense that stemmed from the stress of a semi-finals game. No, this was more, and everyone could feel it. Like the gravity of what was at stake was weighing on every single players’ shoulders.

Washington came to play and they were making it clear that they were going to do whatever it took to make it to Nationals.

The hits were high, the rucks were choppy, and it was putting the Sirens on their heels. They didn’t face opponents that played dirty often and Gideon hadn’t prepared them for this possibility. Even the countless tapes of Washington from this past year that Sara watched didn’t prepare her for them walking that line between legal and illegal on the field.

Sara felt more than one person grab at her collar bone, and every single one of Alex’s fingers had been stepped on within the first couple minutes of play.

At the first scrum, the Amazons took their place at the front line of the pack, and Sara rolled the ball straight down the middle – like she always did. But Washington was pushing the pack before the ball was even in and the second the ball hit the ground, the scrum collapsed. She thought it was obvious that Washington was trying to spin it, but the Sir disagreed and the ball switched sides.

The other scrum-half was obviously not as attached to the rules as she was because she put the ball directly to the feet of her team rather than down the middle and Washington came away with the ball easily. The Sir wasn’t fazed by the blatant cheating so Sara jumped right back into the action and forgot about it.

Until the next scrum went the same way.

She thought for sure that when Zari took a hand to the face in a lineout that the whistle would blow, but it never did and Sara kept up hope until Washington started grabbing the ball with the hands in the rucks. After the third ruck collapsed and Washington walked away with the ball, Sara stopped bothering with the Sir altogether.

The only way they could even make progress on the field was good passing and patience. Kara and Alex worked amazingly off one another and the communication between Sara and Ava was silent as they read the field together. Both times they broke through the other team was thanks to a play call from Ava, and Kara’s quick speed around the wings on the outside. 

When the whistle blew for half time, Sara could hear most of the players let out an audible sigh of relief. She knew that her team could use a break from the constant fight of this game. The score was 17-10 and the Sirens were up, but Sara was nervous they were getting run-down.

Gideon turned to the group as they piled into the locker room. “Good first half ladies. Fundamentals look good, the play calling is working, and we’re up by a try. It’s a great start.” She was met with the tired stares of her players. “I know that Washington came into this game throwing elbows and seemingly trying to hurt you all, but you haven’t stooped to their level. I’m proud of you and I have every faith that if we keep this up and keep playing the game that we know how to play, we can walk out of here with a win.”

If the exhaustion and incredulous mumbling she heard from the players were anything to go by, the team was less than convinced by Gideon’s halftime speech.

It was a tough spot for Sara and Gideon both right now because they knew that nothing they could say would clean up Washington’s play or force the Sir to blow his whistle. Everyone around her was going to have to dig deep and find another layer of grit if they were going to have any chance of keeping their lead in the second half.

This time, when Washington kicked the ball to the Sirens to start the half, things were more hesitant.

The Sirens seemed anxious about going into tackles and rucks, hoping to avoid any unnecessary contact with Washington. Sara could see that the girls were tired and that their fight had gone out the window before the second half even started.

It became increasingly clear as Sara watched Washington burst through an easy hole in their defense and run into the try zone, tying the game. It only serves to worsen the attitude of the sirens.

Sara watched on the restart as Zari didn’t prep herself for a tackle and went down _hard_. And stayed down.

Sara, Charlie, and Amaya rushed to her side, but the medic was quickly on the field and shooing them away. Charlie refused to move and the medic continued to do her job around her.

Rather than let the girls stare at Zari as she was assessed by the medic, Sara used this time to gather them. If there was ever a time for a rousing mid-game speech, this was it.

She was met by stares of uncertainty and nerves. Some of the girls were looking over their shoulders back at Zari and some were looking over at Washington’s huddle. Alex and Amaya just looked pissed.

“Look, ladies,” Sara started, turning everyone’s attention back towards her. She tried to keep her voice low because of the eerie silence that had taken over the field.

“What Gideon said at half was right. I know we don’t want to hear it, and I know that I would love nothing more than to come out of this huddle and get some revenge on the player that just took Zari out. But we can’t do that. We need to stick to our game and play the rugby the way that we play. Because we can beat them at that. We’re better than them, ladies. I know that we are, but more importantly, they know that we’re better. They came in here today knowing that they already lost and that’s why they gave up on sportsmanship. We’re not going to do that. We’re going to go back out there, we’re going to come out fighting, and we’re going all the way to nationals. And we’re gonna do it with some god damn class.”

The team looked a little more riled up and ready to get back to playing by the time Zari was carted off the field. Both teams and the fans clapped for her and then the play resumed.

From the Sir’s whistle, the Sirens seemed like a new team. The tackles were hard, and they were holding their own in every aspect of contact.

The rucks were still messy – maybe messier – but the Sirens were going in hard and coming out with the ball at their hands. It was clear that they weren’t taking anymore of the Siren’s shit. Thankfully, it also seemed like the Sir had woken up and was a little bit more hesitant to let the dirty play from before slide. The penalties were definitely working in favor of the Sirens.

With less than 5 minutes on the clock, Sara called for a playoff another penalty. They were thirty yards out from the try zone and Sara _knew_ that if they could pull off this next player, Nationals was theirs.

Sara tapped the ball up to herself, and quickly threw a skip pass out to Alex. Alex took three hard steps forward then passed the ball back into Amaya who was taking a line off her hip and was closely followed by Diana and Kara. Washington easily fell into the trap and sucked in to try and defend the pod of girls coming at them. But the second Amaya hit contact, Kara pulled the ball out of her hands and swung it out to Charlie who had all the room in the world. She easily set the ball down in the try zone and Sara followed it up with the extra points on the board.

Final score Sirens 22, Badgers 17.

Sara couldn’t contain herself when that final whistle blew. The team ran to her, against her usual instruction to remain calm and not be sore-winners. But Sara was finding it hard to be mad at them right now because _they were going to Nationals_!

In the midst of it, all Sara found herself pressed up against Ava in the group hug. The sweat and screams of her teammates didn’t even matter right now because the team pulled off a win and Ava was smiling against her side.

“Holy shit, we’re going to Nationals!” Someone, Alex Sara thought, yelled into the huddle causing them to all cheer again and knocking Sara out of her Ava stupor.

“Okay ladies!” Gideon cut in, trying to break them up. “Let’s shake hands with Washington and let them get out of here. We can skip the post-game talk for this once. I know you all probably want to celebrate and Charlie has already taken off to check on Zari.”

The mention of Zari sobered them all up. No matter how happy they were that they pulled out the win, it sucked to see a teammate go down.

“Good work ladies! You heard the coach. Let’s clean up and clear out of here quickly. I believe we have a party to attend, don’t we? I’ll see you all back at a chop shop in one hour.”

As they’re scattering, Sara feels her phone buzz from inside her bag. She wasn’t expecting a call right now – everyone important knew that you didn’t call on Saturdays – but she figured she should answer anyways.

“Hello?”

“Ms. Lance?”

“Speaking.”

“Ah, Ms. Lance I’m glad I caught you. I’m Phil Coulson, the coach of the U.S. Women’s rugby team. I’m in Boulder right now on some business and I just caught the tail end of your game – great work, by the way, a hell of a job pulling it out at the end there – and I had to rush out but I wanted to give you a call to say that I was really impressed with your leadership on the field today.”

Sara was trying not to internally panic but holy shit, was this actually happening? How did he get her number? Was he still here? Oh, shit, she had to respond still.

“Oh, um, Mr. Coulson, Sir, I’m glad you could come out and watch us. My team is a bunch of fighters that’s for sure.”

“They sure are.” He paused, laughing lightly. “I won’t keep you too long, I’m sure you have some celebrating to do, but I’ve got my eye on your Ms. Lance. We’ve got a camp coming up in the next month or so and if you can bring it at Nationals like you did today, I’ll definitely be back in touch.”

“That’s, um, that’s good to know Sir. I will definitely be on my A-game then.”

“I’ve got no doubt, Ms. Lance. Have a good one and don’t party too hard.”

Mr. Coulson hung up and Sara was left staring at her phone in pure, unadulterated shock. She looked around to see if someone, literally anyone, from her team was still around. Of course, she was standing in an empty parking lot and probably looked like a crazy person spinning in circles looking for her friends instead.

She shook off the shock as much as she could and climbed into her car. She had a party to plan right now and a win to celebrate so she could wait until tomorrow to resume the panic.

_______________________________________________

Charlie was busy trying to weave her way through the hospital to find Zari.

She had rushed off the field right as the final whistle blew, not even bothering to celebrate the win with her team. She had managed to pull it together for the final portion of the game, and it had felt bloody brilliant to score the winning try against Washington after watching Zari go down. But now that it was over she knew she had to be with her best friend.

Zari was awake when Charlie got there, but obviously pretty out of it.

“Hey Z, how ya feeling?” She moved slowly to her side, brushing some stray hair out of her face.

The contact seemed to jolt her awake. “Charlie! What are you doing here?”

“Well, I came to see you love. Gave us quite a scare there.”

Zari kind of rolled over, eyes half-open, but trying to face Charlie. It didn’t seem like Zari was on any drugs, maybe just tired and a little loopy from the head injury, but she was clearly coherent enough to try and have a conversation.

“You scare me.”

“I scare you?” Charlie asked, confusion evident.

“Yeah, butterflies and headaches.”

“You have a headache Z? Want me to get the doctor?” Charlie was up again ready to run out of the room and find some help.

“No.” Zari grabbed Charlie, mustering up as much strength as she could to keep the other girl there. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Well, what do ya mean then?” The extra exertion of strength to grab Charlie must have taken more out of Zari than she realized because her eyes started to drift shut without her control. “Z?” Charlie asked again.

“I like you, you goof.” And with that, Zari was asleep again.

Charlie wasn’t sure what exactly that meant – whether it Zari had been given some type of drugs by the doctors or if the concussion was just making her loopy – but she knew when Zari was feeling better they were definitely overdue for a talk.

_______________________________________________

Hours had passed and the party was in full swing at Chop Shop. The men’s team had shown up in full force and were ready to celebrate the win like it was their own. The house was packed from wall to wall and despite the fatigue that Sara felt settling in, she was more than happy to be surrounded by her people.

Sara spent the beginning half of the party checking her phone every couple minutes for updates from Charlie. But when the text saying that Zari had a minor concussion finally came in, Sara joined in the party for real to celebrate the win – and the call from fricken Phil Coulson – with her friends.

If she could actually find any of them.

“Yo Danvers, where is everyone?”

Alex didn’t even bother taking her eyes off the beer pong table in front of her. “Nate and Amaya vanished upstairs who knows how long ago and I think Ava and Nora went to get a drink in the kitchen, but I lost track of everyone else.”

She didn’t think she was going to be able to tear Alex away from the _very_ important game against Mick and Wally, so she wandered off into the kitchen in search of other teammates.

At least Danvers was paying enough attention to be right about where Nora went.

“Nora!”

“Oh captain my captain. What can I do for you?”

“Just looking for some people to celebrate with! This place got crowded way too quickly.”

“Tell me about it, I’ve been trying to find Ray in this mess for like 30 minutes.”

“I think I saw him out front by the keg on my way in. He’s probably lost without Nate.” Sara saw the hesitation but knew that Nora wanted to run off and find Ray. “You should go find him.”

“I think I just might.” She started to walk away but turned back towards Sara. “Ava is out in the hallway upstairs in case you’re looking for her.”

Sara sensed a little something in Nora’s tone, but left it alone for now and went off to find Ava.

She walked up the stairs, an area usually off-limits at parties except for the people that lived there, and found Ava standing with her back to the stairs clearly on the phone.

“Case, I can’t leave the party, we just made Nationals! Why don’t you come here?”

 _Ugh, this girl again_.

“Ava?”

Ava snapped around to see Sara standing there. Her cheeks were a little flushed like she’d been caught in the act of doing something she shouldn’t be.

“Oh, hey Sara. I’ll be back down to the party in a minute.”

Still high off the adrenaline from the win, Sara forgot for a second she was supposed to be playing nice.

“Come on, you can talk to your girlfriend later, we’re supposed to be celebrating with our _friends_ now.”

She regretted the words the second they left her mouth. And the look that came across Ava’s features confirmed for Sara that she definitely had crossed a line now.

“Sara. I said I’d be down in a minute. Find someone else to latch onto for like five minutes.”

Ava moved past Sara and out the front door, evidently looking for more privacy than was available inside the house.

Amaya had chosen this moment to emerge from her room with Nate in tow.

“Ouch, what was that about?”

Sara tried to shrug like it was nothing. “I think I hit a nerve. Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Does Ava have a girlfriend?” Amaya smacked Nate in the stomach at his question.

“I think what Nathaniel was trying to ask was, are you okay Sara?”

When Sara didn’t respond right away, Amaya sent Nate downstairs and dragged Sara into her room.

“What’s going on Sara?” Before Sara could respond with something snarky, Amaya doubled down on her concern. “I can tell you’re dealing with something babe. I just want you to talk to me, or Zari, or even Charlie if you think that would help.”

It would’ve been easy for Sara to wave off her worries and just tell her she was stressed about the game and the snippy comment from Ava was nothing more than catching her in a bad moment. But Sara needed to talk to someone about all of this or she was going to explode.

“I’m … I’ve, uh, been better honestly.”

“Is this about Ava?”

“No.” Amaya stared back at her. She’s really mastered the mom eyes over the years. “Okay, maybe it’s completely about her.”

Sara flopped back onto the bed. She told Amaya about Christmas and how amazing Ava was and the birthday gift she got her and then how things were weird the first week back to campus between them because of Sara’s blatant jealousy, and how watching the end of Ava’s Valentine’s day date _crushed_ her but also made her realize that she likes Ava.

“… and now I don’t know what to do! She has Casey, who she’s all smitten about and drooling over, and I have the team to worry about because I can’t put them through the aftermath of another failed relationship. And I tried to be her friend Amaya, I really did, but I’m not sure how long I can pretend that I’m not falling for her.”

So it turns out there’s actually a lot going on.

Amaya smiled sweetly, like she always does, and held Sara’s hand while they both took a moment to process everything Sara had said.

“Sara, at the risk of sounding like Charlie, you’ve got to live in the moment babe. We all watched you lose yourself and let your feelings be dictated by Nyssa for a year, and at the end of the day we all just want you to be happy, but you’re never going to get there if you don’t start putting the way _you_ feel first. I’m not saying that you need to run out of the house and tell Ava how you feel, but everything you just told me had to do with how other people are feeling. How do you feel?

Sara couldn’t help but chuckle at Amaya’s words. “You know, Laurel said something very similar to me last week and I’m beginning to think that I don’t really know what I want at all.”

“Smart minds think alike.” They both smiled.

Sara thought for a minute, there were a hundred different things running through her head right now.

“I know that I worry about other people, I can’t help it, especially when it comes to the team because you guys are my family. And what I do or don’t do absolutely has an effect on all of you. This thing with Ava, I know it sounds like I’m using the team as an excuse or a distraction, but I promise I’m not. Ava has just been through a lot and I just want to be there for her as a friend right now. And Casey seems like she could be good for her so I don’t want to get in the way. I think I just needed to get it out there and let someone else know what was going on in my head. I’ll be okay.”

Amaya didn’t look convinced, and honestly, Sara wasn’t that convinced by her statement either. But they had Nationals in two weeks and this was supposed to be a party! Everything else could wait until after they won the trophy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rob Cain is the actual name of the national team coach, but Phil Coulson is WAY more fun. 
> 
> One of my friends in college had a concussion that only kept her off the field for like two weeks but man was she loopy when we got to the hospital after our game. She just laid in her bed with no lights on and no electronics for like two weeks straight and then she was good as new. The brain is wild.
> 
> Hope y’all liked this one! I’m going on vacation next week, but hoping to get another chapter written so I can post it while I’m away without too much thought but TBD on that. I promise I won’t make you wait too long.


	19. Nationals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *insert note here with apology for the delay in upload and excuse about lacking the motivation to write*
> 
> Also, definitely lied last chapter because this is now the last rugby chapter. Although I did my best to not over-do it. 
> 
> If you guys wanna see more rugby after this lmk! Or if there’s anything else you’d like to see me include. I think we’ve got about 7 chapters and an epilogue after this – all of which have general outlines but I can for sure work in any suggestions!
> 
> Happy reading!

Sara wouldn’t say that Amaya’s words of wisdom went in one ear and out the other, but they had two weeks until Nationals and right now didn’t feel like the time to be focusing on herself. Ignoring Amaya was just collateral damage to her preparation and focus on the game. Or at least that’s what Sara was going to keep telling herself.

And it definitely didn’t feel like the time to be avoiding Ava or overthinking their interactions because if they were going to put together a winning playbook and come out ready to win a _freakin’ national championship_ then her and Ava had a lot of work to do.

Which meant that instead of spending time alone and trying to figure out what it was exactly that Sara wanted from her life and from the people around her, she spent almost every waking moment of the two weeks leading up to the game with Ava.

At first, it felt like maybe it was a good thing. Like, if she spent enough time around Ava, her crush would fade and she could go back to being just friends with her. Desensitizing herself to the effect Ava had on her and all that jazz. And it worked for all of a day.

But then Ava was walking into her room and texting her random thoughts about the game _so_ casually as if they had been doing it for years instead of weeks and how was Sara supposed to tell her that she had to stop doing that? She wasn’t. She was going to let Ava absolutely ruin her and there was nothing she could do about it.

She thought she had it under control. Really, she swore that she was handling it the best way she knew how – denial – but two days before the biggest game of her life, and she could not for the life of her get her shit together at practice. That’s how she finally realized that she was completely screwed.

All she could do was _stare_ at Ava and get lost seeing all the little things about the girl that she had never noticed before.

She notices that Ava does and re-does her hair twice before practice starts. It’s always right after lacing up her boots, making sure to tuck in the end of the laces and secure her ankle brace. Then, after her hair is done, she passes with Nora. Unsurprisingly, her form is perfect even when she’s just warming up with friends.

After she passes, Ava takes another sip of water and absentmindedly plays with a few stray hairs she missed when she put up her hair. It seems like she debated redoing the bun, but just for a second before saying fuck it and chatting with Alex instead.

Ava looks over her water bottle at Sara with one eyebrow raised. The eye contact is too much and Sara realizes she’s been so lost in just observing Ava that neither of her cleats are on and everyone seems to be waiting on her to start practice.

She did her best to send the team off on a run without any suspicion, but based on the look Amaya gives her, she knows she doesn’t do a good job.

The longer practice goes on, the more Sara notices about Ava, and the less she’s able to focus on literally anything else.

During the third drill, she gets hit in the face with a pass from Alex because she was too busy watching Ava stretch out between passes.

In another drill, Sara gets laid out by a rookie, a subpar rookie at that because Ava chose that second to bring the bottom of her shirt to her forehead and exposed way too much skin and those abs. Sara was not okay.

Zari finally calls her out when she’s too busy watching Ava practice her dropkicks to notice that practice has ended and half the team is already huddled up and waiting on their captain to finish up.

“Dude, what the fuck is up with you today? If you’re getting sick let me know and I’ll break out my grandma's secret recipe. The trainer says even I’m cleared to play I won’t be at my best and my minutes are gonna be limited so we need you at your best.”

There’s a bit of an audience for the question. Everyone is concerned about their star player being off her game right before Nationals. Sara obviously can’t tell her that she’s too distracted by Ava’s _everything_ and the realization that not only has she been falling for her for months without even noticing, but she’s actually having a hard time _not_ doing something about it now.

So instead she lies. “I’m fine Z, just thinking about Nationals. Too in my head today I guess.”

Ava had joined the huddle in time to hear Sara’s response. “Don’t think too hard Lance. Wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.”

Sara knows that Ava meant it as a joke and just yesterday Sara would’ve been able to come up with something seamlessly funny and undeniably flirty. But now, Sara’s only response is to just stare at Ava’s cheeky smile and return it with a smile of her own.

It wasn’t fair, the way that Ava was so effortlessly able to knock Sara back into silence. And it _really_ wasn’t fair that all of this was happening right before Nationals. Before the biggest game of her career – the one that could either make or break her chance at becoming an Eagle.

Friday didn’t exactly improve Sara’s concentration levels either. Ava had been texting her all day about how excited she was for the game and when she’d run into her _and Casey_ in the dining hall at lunch, Casey had mentioned that she was going to try and come down for the game, and well, if her focus wasn’t already shit, she had a hard time thinking about anything except that for the rest of the day.

And then she had to sit for six hours on a bus ride to Sante Fe, pressed up against Ava because these bus seats are too damn small and Ava insisted that they sit together so that they could talk over the game plan more.

On top of everything else going on, Sara had a terrible feeling deep in her gut that she could only blame on the fact that if she blew this game and her chance at the National team, her 15-year-old self was going to appear in front of her and kick her ass.

Every kid that’s ever fallen in love with a sport has dreamt of playing in a national championship. To take the field and see the stands packed with fans just waiting to see you play. To have everything riding on one game. The intensity of the moment indescribable to anyone not standing next to you on the field.

The only thing bigger than a national championship was a chance to play for Team USA at the Olympics.

And Sara, well, she had been handed the chance at both of those things in one afternoon and she was absolutely, without a doubt, freaking the fuck out about it.

She really had meant to tell someone, literally anyone, about her call last week with the USA coach, but then things with Ava had been weird because of _Casey_ and whatever distracting feelings she was having for her, so she couldn’t tell her now.

And then Amaya had gone and laid out all of that logic about Sara putting herself first, and really, that would’ve been the perfect time to confess but then the moment was gone and Sara hadn’t said anything. And Zari was barely over her concussion and stressed about whether or not she was going to be able to play and she hadn’t really been talking to anyone except for Charlie while she was recovering. And Charlie was arguably more panicked about Zari than Zari was. Plus something was different between them since the hospital and Sara didn’t have time to add their drama to her long list of worries.

So Sara had said nothing and instead, two hours before game time, she was frantically pacing the locker room. A locker room that would soon be filled with her teammates that were expecting a rousing pregame speech and for her to lead them to victory.

How she was supposed to give a pregame speech right now? She felt like she was going to throw up all over herself and the rest of the locker room and she couldn’t get her thoughts together for more than three seconds without panicking about a thousand things and how was she supposed to do this for herself or for her team? What if she stepped out onto that field and had no idea what to do? Her team was counting on her and this was maybe the biggest moment of her life how was she supposed to —

“Sara?”

Sara snapped out of her internal panic to see Ava staring at her with nothing but concern in her eyes.

“Are you okay?”

“If I say yes, will you believe me?” Sara tried to let out an easy laugh to let Ava know that she was okay. It didn’t convince either of them.

“What’s going on? Are you nervous about the game? You’ve been off all week.”

Shit, so Ava had noticed that Sara was being weird. If only she knew.

“I’m definitely not _not_ panicking. This is just a big game and I know everyone is going to expect some magical words or something before the game and I just don’t feel like I have it in me today. How am I supposed to lead them when I don’t feel like I can lead myself right now?”

Okay, well that was more than she meant to say. And it definitely didn’t do anything to ease the worry on Ava’s face.

“Sara —”

But there was no time for comfort, and there was no more time for internal doubt or panicking because Gideon had stepped into the locker room and everyone went quiet. Ava gave Sara a look, hoping it would convey some type of comfort or confidence. It wasn’t a magic fix, but it gave Sara a little boost seeing Ava’s nod of faith her way.

“Ladies.” She paused. The tension immediately rose. “This is it. We’ve been working since August for this. We’ve fought hard and we’ve earned our right to be here. I’ve said since the beginning of this year that this group of women is something special. The amount of raw talent aside, I’ve never coached a group of women so determined, so willing to work, as you all right here. Whatever happens out there, I am damn proud to be your coach and you should all be proud of yourselves.”

She stepped away, her words hanging over each of them, and nodded towards Sara to take her spot in front of the group next.

Sara took a breath and pushed aside any sliver of doubt she had for the moment. This was no longer about her or her fears. This was about the team in front of her. 

“I’m gonna keep it short and sweet today because every one of you knows exactly how I feel about this team and our chances today. I just want to say that this season has been everything I hoped it would be and I wouldn’t want to take the field with anyone else by my side. I don’t care who our opponent is or what they’re bringing to the table today. Because we are absolutely capable of taking this game and running away with it. Let’s go out there and show them how the Sirens get things done. On three?”

The group stood and huddled around Sara, one hand in the circle. Sara yelled, “And why are the Siren’s the best team in the nation?”

“Cause we work till the very last breath!”

“What was that ladies? I can’t hear you!”

“We work until our very last breath!” The group echoed, feeling stronger and more calm and confident than they had ever before.

They walked out onto the field with the same confidence they had in the locker room. The warm-ups were intense, everyone radiating an intense focus that Sara had never seen before.

She walked to the midfield with Ava by her side for the coin toss. PSU called the toss and won so the Sirens would be kicking to them first.

Walking back towards the team, Sara felt the wave of nerves crash back over her. She looked to the fans – seeing her dad standing next to Laurel and Coach Coulson standing a few people down from them – and it was like she was 15 about to play her first rugby game again.

The panic set back in and Sara felt like she was going to have to do everything herself to prove to her team, herself, and the national team coach that she could handle the pressures of big games and big moments. The only person she felt like she could count on right now was herself.

But from the first whistle, Sara was off and the effects trickled through the team.

It started with Sara miscalculating a pass, which Alex then dropped. It was definitely Sara’s fault, but it was hard to see that in the moment. Then Kara misread a breakthrough in the line and PSU was up a try.

And things certainly didn’t improve from there.

It was like nothing was clicking. Like all the teamwork and forced bonding and an insane amount of chemistry between the team just vanished. And it was doing more to piss Sara off than anything else.

With every dropped ball or intercepted pass, Sara felt more and more like she was the only person on the field she could count on, and the further she saw her dream slip away and the more frustrated she became. She stopped passing the ball, and took everything into contact herself, whether she had support behind her or not. But it still wasn’t working. After the second unanswered try by PSU, Sara had had it.

“What the hell is up with you guys today?”

“Sara chill, it’s just a few mistakes. We can shake it off.”

“Well, you better. I’m tired of being the only person out there who knows how to play rugby today.”

“That’s a little harsh there cap.”

“Well so is getting blown out in the national championship, Charlie. So you all need to get your shit together and put some damn points on the board.”

Needless to say, Sara’s rousing try-zone speech didn’t rally the team behind her. Instead, they went back out with everyone being pissed off, and a complete lack of teamwork.

When the whistle for half time blew, the score was 14-3, and the locker room was the tensest it had been all year. And that was saying something considering how their year started.

Ava grabbed Sara’s arm before they could go in.

“Sara, what the fuck is up with you?”

She crossed her arms. “I don’t know what you mean. I’m not the one that keeps fucking everything up.”

“Are you sure? Because from where I’m standing, you’re acting like a jack ass and it’s putting everyone else off. This is not a one-woman sport and if we don’t start acting like a team then we’re never gonna get anywhere let alone win this game.”

“I can’t force everyone to play better, Ava.”

“Okay, see, now I know something is wrong with you. What the hell is going on?”

Sara sighed. “I’m just – I’m frustrated! There’s so much riding on this game and we’ve worked so hard to get here and it feels like it doesn’t even matter! What if we can’t win this? We already blew the first half and Coach Coulson is probably not even going to stick around for the second half.”

“Woah, wait, hold up. Coach Coulson is here?”

“Um, yeah. He kind of called me after the semi-finals and told me that if I played well I might get a call up to the camp in a couple of weeks.”

“Sara! That’s amazing.”

“I know! But I think it went to my head and now I’ve just royally fucked it all up. What am I even doing? Everything I’ve ever wanted is right there – a national championship, a call up for a shot at the national team – and instead of turning it on, I’m taking out all my frustration on the people that have been standing next to me for years.”

“Sara. You are by far the best captain I’ve ever played with, and maybe the best teammate I’ve ever played with. Even if you don’t feel like you can do this right now, everyone in this locker room and out there waiting to see us kick ass today _knows_ without a single doubt in their mind that you have the ability to do what needs to be done. The team is behind you, now you need to put your faith back in them and pick it the fuck up. We’ve got this. But you need to tell everyone what’s up and apologize.”

Sara knew that she was right. She couldn’t pretend everything was okay, and the way she behaved in the first half was not cool. Maybe apologizing could lift some spirits?

“Okay ladies, let’s gather up.”

Everyone seemed reluctant, and Sara definitely saw some side-eye between the girls, but they still circled up for her.

“I owe everyone an apology because I have been an ass today.”

“Damn straight you were.”

“Okay, thank you Alex. Supportive as always.”

“Just tell them what’s going on Sara.” Ava put a hand on Sara’s shoulder, the support giving her the little confidence she needed.

“Alex is right, and I’m serious, I am seriously sorry for how I acted. But I’ve been freaking out and I took it out on you guys. Two weeks ago, after the semi-finals, I got a call from Coach Coulson, the National team coach, telling me that if I played well in this game, I had a chance at getting a call up to the camp in a couple of weeks.”

“Holy shit Sara.” A couple of people mumbled.

“And honestly, that freaked the fuck out of me. And instead of telling you guys what was up, I bottled it up and panicked. I saw Coach Coulson sitting on the sideline and just completely lost it and you guys got the brunt of that. I’m sorry.”

“Dude. We absolutely understand that that’s stressful as fuck.” Zari, also not really super helpful chimes in, “but that doesn’t mean how you acted was cool.”

Amaya was quick to jump in and add on to Zari’s comment. “But, we also love you and we accept your apology and we’re willing to look past it if you’re ready to turn it on for the second half.”

The team nodded, more understanding and acceptance in their faces than before.

“I appreciate that, truly. I promise I won’t act like an ass in the second half. And I know that we’re down right now, but we’re definitely not out. Sirens never quit and now is the time to go back out there and show everyone, including ourselves, how much heart we have and how much fight we have left in us. I know that we can do this if we pull together as a team and play the kick-ass rugby we’ve been playing all year.”

A murmur of fire and excitement roared through the locker room. Sara smiled feeling like she had pushed some life back into the team.

The second half was different right from the start. The team was gelling again and they had PSU on their heels.

It was a whole new world for the Sirens. Passes were connecting easily, and they had possession for almost the whole second half.

But somehow, it still wasn’t enough to make up for the first half. PSU was still a good team, and they weren’t going to let up either. There was a reason they made it to the national finals after all.

Despite things going nearly perfect for the Sirens in the second half, when the whistle blew, the final score was 21-17. That was it, the National Championship was over and the Sirens were runner ups.

They shook hands with the other team and bitterly watched them celebrate while things between them on the sidelines were … somber.

Everyone was quiet while they packed up their stuff, even Gideon had nothing to say. It hurt, a lot, to see how dejected the team was and feel partly responsible for the events of the game. Sara was trying not to let her thoughts spiral, but it was proving to be more difficult than she wanted.

They fought hard and they were proud of the second half of their game despite the loss. But Sara knew that now was not the time to lecture the team about keeping their heads up or how next season will be there’s to win. Everyone had to deal with their loss their own way and that meant allowing the team scattered.

Sara wondered over to Laurel and her dad. She wasn’t looking forward to explaining the first half to either of them.

“Hey, guys.”

Laurel didn’t respond, but instead just gave Sara a big hug.

“Hey, sport. You played well.”

“Can we just not talk about it for now?”

Ava, always the heroine, managed to walk up to the three and distract Quentin or Laurel from asking Sara any follow-up questions.

“Mr. Lance, Laurel. I’m glad you guys could make it down there to see the game.”

Sara could tell that Quentin was feeling a little awkward with Ava around, which Sara could understand even if she was surprised that he even remembered Christmas. The group stood silently for a moment, awkwardly fidgeting and looking anywhere but at each other.

But Laurel nudged Quentin in the side and he regained a slight sense of composure.

“Ava! So nice to see you again. I’ve been wanting to apologize to you.”

“Oh, Sir, that isn’t necessary.”

“No, it is. I’m sorry that I inadvertently involved you in my problems, but I’m glad that Sara and Laurel had someone there for them when I clearly couldn’t be. But I’m almost three months sober and I wanted you, both of you,” he looked at Sara as well now, “to know how sorry I am for Christmas. Sara, I know I have a lot more to apologize to you for, but that can be for another day. Either way, I’m happy to finally meet you with a clear head, Ava.”

There was so much Sara wanted to say. She’d been waiting for this moment for months, no _years_ , but she’d just torpedoed her rugby career and everything just felt like too much right now.

And then Ava waved over her shoulder at Casey who was standing a couple of feet away and Sara was praying for that hole in the ground to open up again.

It never happened when she wanted it to.

Ava cleared her throat. “Um, thank you, Mr. Lance. I appreciate that. I, uh, I should let you guys have your family moment.”

Sara watched her walk away and into the arms of Casey. She didn’t expect it to hurt as much as it did.

Quentin saw the look. “Sar, you alright?”

“I um,” Sara tried to shake it off. “I’m fine. Totally fine.”

“I may not have been around for you girls as much as I should’ve been over the years, but I can recognize heartbreak when I see it. Especially when it’s all over my baby girl’s face.”

“Dads right Sara. It’s all over your face.”

“It’s not, I said I’m fine. Today has just been a lot okay? I’m allowed to be disappointed.” Neither of them seemed convinced, but they were willing to let it go for now. “I’m gonna catch the bus back to school with the team. Thanks for coming.”

Not everyone was back on the bus. Gideon didn’t usually require them to ride back to campus together, but more girls than usual took their opportunity to ride home with their families or friends rather than sit on the silent bus for 6 hours.

Including Ava. Who was off with Casey. This day could not be over soon enough.

____________________________________________________________

“Come on, Casey, where are you taking me?”

They were making a pit stop between New Mexico and Denver, but that was all she’d told her. Ava had gone along with it because, well, she didn’t have anywhere else to be and she figured her mood couldn’t really get worse.

“I told you, Aves, I know just the place to cheer you up.”

“You know I hate surprises.”

“That’s what you say, but the smile on your face right now tells me that I might be able to get away with it just this once.”

Well, now she was smiling and blushing.

“I can’t say I’m not grateful for the distraction right now.”

“Plus you just _love_ hanging out with me because I’m the best.”

“Yes, of course, also that.”

They drove a little bit longer, and about halfway back to Denver, Casey pulled off at an exit and into a parking lot that honestly looked abandoned.

“Case, where the heck are we?”

“Okay, you know how I told you I grew up down in the springs? Well, we used to come down to Sante Fe a lot when I was younger for like vacations and stuff. One of the trips we stopped at this exit and pulled into this lot. I know it doesn’t look like much now, but ten years ago it was this cute little stop with a diner and a book shop. The diner has closed since then and it’s a little run down, but the book shop is still open. I like to drive down here when things are hard at school, or I get in a fight with a friend, or whenever I need to clear my head. It reminds me of good memories with my family on vacation and just helps me put things in perspective. Plus, it’s a pretty awesome bookstore.”

“Wow… Case, I’m, uh, thank you for bringing me here. This place clearly means a lot to you.”

Casey took Ava’s hand. “It does, but I also think you might mean a lot to me too… if that’s okay?”

Ava smiled, hard. “Definitely okay with me.”

“Right, so, want to head in?”

“Yes, lead the way.”

The bookstore was, in one word, adorable. It looked like a movie set, with the old furniture and walls lined with books that looked more like antiques than something you would read. Ava ran her fingers along the stacks, which were practically overflowing with books stacked in an organized but haphazardly way. There was so much charm around every corner, Ava was in awe of it all.

“So, why books?” She whispered to Casey between the stacks.

“I think books are the best way to escape reality. If you can dive into a fantasy world, or put yourself in the shoes of someone else then your problems get pushed to the back of your mind.” Casey’s cheeks are tinged with pink and Ava can tell this isn’t something she shares with a lot of people.

“Read me something. Let’s get lost in a fantasy world together today so I don’t have to think about today.”

“Okay, I can do that. Let’s see what we have here.” She scanned the shelves and pulled a book. The smirk on her face let Ava know that she was definitely up to more than just reading.

“Abigail looked over her opponent, his face was covered but his body told her exactly who he was. James – the very same James that she’d be locked in a closet with, breath heavy between them earlier that day.”

“Casey! What book did you pick up?”

“I don’t know, I thought it looked interesting. I’m gonna keep going.”

Ava really wanted to stop her, but she’d be lying if she didn’t find it at least slightly entertaining.

“She didn’t know what to do next. Did she take the match seriously or should she let him win and hope he made it up to her later?”

“This story sounds terrible.”

“Shush, you’re ruining all the fun, it’s just about to get good.”

“James lunged towards her, his arm grazing her side. She lunged back, more cognizant than ever of his body.”

“Okay, this fantasy world is no longer distracting me. I don’t need to hear about James’s body.”

“You don’t want to wait until we get to the part where James’s throbbing —”

“We’re done now!” Ava tried to grab the book from Casey, but she shoved it behind her back, out of her reach.

Casey smirked as Ava’s body pressed up against her. “I like this distraction better anyways.”

Ava leaned in to close the small gap left between them, briefly getting lost with Casey between the shelves.

The bookstore and this time with Casey had sufficiently distracted Ava from the craziness of the day. But she couldn't help, even in the perfect moments between them, but to compare it to the all the time she’s spent in the library with Sara goofing off or studying. She didn't want to compare it, honestly, she wanted to push it to the furthest corner of her mind and never think about comparing them ever again. Because Casey was sweet and kind, and always there to pick her up when she was down. Sara was ... not that. She was hardheaded and infuriating and nothing about her was ever easy. Even if she pulled every emotion out of Ava like no one else in her life ever had before.

But this day was already a hell hole without adding the confusing feelings that Sara Lance managed to arise in her.

Casey and her distractions were just what she needed right now. For apparently a number of different reasons. None of which she was ready to unpack at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a little sad to wrap up the rugby part of this story as it was the initial motivation behind starting this story. But that does mean the couple chapters I have left are nothing but fun!!
> 
> That being said, I do only have loose outlines for the remainder of the story and would love to hear some recommendations from you all! The more ideas the faster these chapters get turned out!
> 
> Thank you all for sticking with me and continuing to read!!!


	20. Hot tubs and realizations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Consistent upload schedule? I don’t know her. Tried to have this chapter up earlier this week but I was in Utah for 4 days getting a tattoo done and then I binged 4 seasons of Legend of Korra instead of writing so here we are. 
> 
> Happy reading!

The rugby season was over, the Sirens had lost their shot at a national championship, and Sara and the rest of the team had been forced to mourn the loss of their season.

Sara had moped – just the right amount of moping one should do after losing a game and watching the girl you were falling for walk off with someone else in the same afternoon – and then there was partying because the season was over so there was no reason not to, and lastly there was boredom.

It was honestly a nice break to not have rugby for a week. It took up so much of their time during the course of the regular season between the practices and lifting schedule and traveling on weekends, so it was nice to just be a regular college student concerned about grades and hanging with friends for a bit.

Sara had embraced it at first. Netflix was her best friend, she was ahead of her the work in her classes for the first time in maybe her entire college career, and honestly, the week break from being in Ava’s presence was greatly needed.

But by the second week, the whole team was more bored than anything else. They just weren’t used to sitting around between classes. They only had one more week until Gideon’s off-season training schedule started, but Alex, evidently, had had enough of the mourning and alone time.

___________________________________________________

** Sara, Amaya, Nora Darhk, Ava Sharpe, Danvers #1, Danvers #2, Angry Twin, & Z **

**_Today_ ** _10:19 AM_

**Danvers #1 (10:19):**

Yoooooooooo

**Danvers #1 (10:19):**

How does everyone feel about taking a week and getting a lake house?

**Danvers #1 (10:19):**

I’m bored and I miss you guys

**Z (10:20):**

Dude, classes?

**Danvers #2 (10:20)** :

Alex! We can’t skip a whole week of school!

**Danvers #1 (10:21):**

Okay fine maybe not the whole week, but like Thursday to Sunday? Pleeeeeeeeease

**Sara (10:21):**

I’m in

**Danvers #1 (10:22)** :

See, this is why Lance is my favorite

**Sara** **(10:24):**

It’s not because you’re secretly holding a candle for me hoping that one

day I’ll realize what we had was so special that you just can’t live without me

**Danvers #1 (10:24)** :

No

**Danvers #1 (10:24):**

So much of not that

**Danvers #1 (10:25):**

Cannot emphasize enough how much no I feel about that

**Danvers #2 (10:25):**

Why Sara

**Ava Sharpe (10:28):**

I feel like we should unpack that, but we’re not going to

**Ava Sharpe (10:28):**

Nora and I are in too

**Danvers #1 (10:30)** :

Ha yes! Nerds are in

**Nora Darhk (10:31):**

I resent that

**Ava Sharpe (10:31):**

You’re way more of a nerd then us Danvers

**Danvers #1 (10:32)** :

Just say yes guys come on

**Angry Twin (10:34):**

Hell yeah, Z and I are definitely in

**Z (10:35):**

I think it needs to be said that I have not agreed to anything

**Angry Twin (10:36)** :

Don’t be a wanker

**Danvers #1 (10:36):**

Yeah, don’t be a wanker

**Sara (10:38)** :

Alex don’t say wanker

**Amaya (10:39)** :

Ditto, one Charlie is enough here

**Amaya (10:40)** :

As much as I hate to admit it, I could use time off campus too

**Danvers #1 (10:42)** :

Even Amaya is in, yes!

**Danvers #1 (10:42)** :

That’s a full crew, we’re going to the mountains!

___________________________________________

So instead of spending another week mourning their loss and being bored on campus, they were headed up into the mountains again. At least it would make up for the spring break they were forced to skip because of rugby. And without the season looming over their heads – or the USA call up because Sara _knows_ she blew that one – they could really let loose for the first time this year.

Which was surprisingly giving Sara a lot of pause.

With all the almost and close moments that Sara had been having with Ava, maybe mixing alcohol and forced space sharing into the equation wasn’t the best idea. But she couldn’t exactly tell the team that, and she hadn’t even really told anyone besides Amaya what was going on with her, so she was just going to have to suck it up and have some fun with her friends.

There are definitely worse situations to be stuck in.

The house that Alex manages to find isn’t too far into the mountains, and the girls all have a relatively easy time justifying skipping only two days of class for some fun in the mountains so they leave Thursday morning.

Unsurprisingly, because its spring in Colorado and everyone and their mom is trying to get a house for the weekend in the mountains, the house is small and a little outdated. But it also has a hot tub and apparently that’s all any of their friends need to be happy.

“Last one in is a rotten egg!” Kara yelled before running to claim a room with her sister to change into their bathing suits.

Before Sara could even process what was going on, Amaya grabbed Nora’s arm and ran into the last room upstairs leaving Sara and Ava standing awkwardly in the hallway together. Somehow they always ended up in these situations.

“Guess we’re roomies for the next few days?” Ava said. Neither girl could pinpoint why this was awkward exactly. They were friends, good friends at this point, and this wasn’t the first time they had been forced to share a bed. It was the first time it was outside of a team setting and the first time since Sara had realized she might have some feelings for the girl next to her. So she knew why she was feeling a little weird about the situation, but Ava shouldn’t be, right? 

“Looks like it.” Sara rubbed the back of her neck. “I’ll get changed in the bathroom across the hall if you wanna take the room right now.”

She quickly slid into the bathroom before Ava could protest. No way she was putting herself if _that_ position.

She was sure that came off a little weird to Ava, and the avoidance over the past week had definitely been strange but she could shake that off as being sad from the loss. Now she was stuck in a cabin sharing a damn bed with her for the next four days and had to act like nothing was wrong. Like knowing she was with Casey and definitely not returning Sara’s feelings for her wasn’t crushing her.

Everything had just been weighing on Sara recently and it seemed like life was not about to give her a break anytime soon. She took a few seconds of deep breathing after she had been changed to calm herself down and shake off the weirdness. They were friends, she could do this.

By the time she pulled herself together, everyone was already outside in the hot tub and Alex was already trying to stir up trouble.

“Grab a drink Lance we’re gonna play fuck, marry, kill.”

Sara grabbed a White Claw from the cooler they brought out on to the deck and hopped in between Alex and Zari. She could see the eye rolls from most of the group, but any game with Alex and Charlie involved was bound to get a little interesting so she played along.

“We’ll start easy. Kara! Fuck, marry, kill – Nate, Wally, and Mick.”

Kara groaned. “Do we have to do people we know? Why can’t it just be celebrities.”

“This is more fun, just answer it.”

“Fine, but let the record show that I hate this.” Kara huffed. “Umm, kill Mick, fuck Nate, marry Wally.”

“Oooo, sis, response?” Charlie chuckled.

Amaya smacked her. “Don’t tease the girl Charlie, it’s just a game.”

Kara was so embarrassed, Sara thought the poor girl’s head was going to explode. She quickly chimed in with the next question to get the attention off of her. “Alex, payback time. Fuck, marry, kill – Ava, Sam that girl from your business class, and me.”

“Ugh I hate when we put teammates in it, and you can’t put yourself in there.”

“Definitely can, there are no rules here. Answer the question, Danvers.”

“Fine, marry Sam, fuck Ava, kill you.”

Ava laughed. “Ha, bet ya didn’t see that coming Lance.”

Sara narrowed her eyes at Alex. “I’ll remember that for later Alex.”

Sara turned to Nora. “Okay Nor, fuck, marry, kill – Ray, Nate, and Gary.”

“Please, too easy. Kill Gary, fuck Nate, marry Ray.”

Nora smirked and turned to Ava. “Ava, fuck, marry, kill – me, Sara, and Charlie.”

Ava didn’t even seem to hesitate with her answer. “Kill Charlie, fuck Sara, and marry you.”

“What the bloody hell is that Ava, I’m fuckable!” Charlie was clearly upset that she had been killed and Nora was poking Ava in the side teasingly at her answer.

Meanwhile, Sara was just trying to remember how to fucking breathe because _holy shit_ she never thought she’d hear those words coming from Ava’s mouth.

Alex moves onto the next question before Charlie can throw any more of a fit.

“Zari – Kara, Amaya, Charlie.”

“Okay, that’s just rude honestly. I guess marry Charlie, fuck Kara, and kill Amaya. Honestly, it would be way too weird to marry or fuck Amaya.”

Alex, of course, could not let that go.

“Ya know Z, Charlie and Amaya are identical twins so if you have sex with one of them then you already know what they both look like naked.”

Zari threw her hands up. “Aw come on why did you have to go there. Now I’m not gonna be able to have sex with my girlfriend or look my best friend in the face”

It was the first time she had used the “girlfriend” word around her teammates, and while no one was shocked exactly, they weren’t going to let that slide either. There was a chorus of responses from everyone. Except for Amaya who seems to have already been clued in.

“Girlfriend?”

“Z what the hell?”

“About damn time.”

Charlie cut them off. “Alright, come off it you lot, we all knew this was coming.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Sara asked.

Zari shrugged. “It just kind of happened and we wanted it to come out naturally rather than making a big deal out of it.

“Well, you know we’re all happy for you.”

“Yes, yes, congratulations,” Alex says, voice tinged with sarcasm even though everyone knew she was definitely happy for them. “Anyone else starving? I brought some frozen pizzas.”

Food was always the key to changing the topic or rounding up rugby girls, and the group quickly moved inside.

The night passed with ease, everyone just hanging out and having a few more drinks before crashing. Sara does her best not to think about sharing a bed with Ava, but she makes sure to slide into the bedroom long after Ava had so that she guarantees the other girl is already asleep and she doesn’t have to worry about the awkwardness or any small talk Ava might want to make.

Friday passes with a lot of the same. Drinking, food, and playful teasing among everyone.

Sara was happy to be around her friends again, but she knew she was being a little quieter and withdrawn than she normally was. She mostly didn’t want to get too drunk around Ava because she was nervous about what she would do or say if her inhibitions were too low, but a small part of her still felt guilty about Nationals.

No matter what everyone said, or how many times they told her it was a team effort, she couldn’t shake the feeling that a lot of it was her fault. Not only had she blown the championship for the entire team, but she also lost her chance to get a call up from the national team. It was a lot to take in and she was definitely still processing.

She was standing off in the corner when Alex had walked up to her.

“Are you here to drag me into one of your games?”

“As if I’ve ever been able to force you to do anything you didn’t want to Lance.” Alex nudged her with her elbow. “I just wanted to check in on you.”

She smiled appreciatively. “Thank you, Alex. I’m fine though, just observing. It’s nice to see everyone so happy. I was a little worried that you guys would still all be sad from the championship. Especially you, with it being your senior year and all.”

“Nah. I mean, I was sad as fuck for like a week and drank my sorrows away, but I have my final round interview for the FBI next week and I’ve got a couple of med school options if that doesn’t pan out. Time to move on to the next stage of life, ya know?”

“Has anyone ever told you how fucking cool you are Danvers?”

“Yes, but I do love to hear it so feel free to continue telling me.”

“Don’t make me regret complimenting you.”

“Never."

They stood silently for a minute, just watching their friends chat and play games.

Sara saw the look on Alex’s face and bumped shoulders with her. “You can admit you’ll miss us, I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

Alex smiled. “I can’t miss you guys if I’m not going anywhere. You didn’t think I was just gonna graduate and never see you again, did you? I gotta come back and see you guys kick ass in the championship next year.”

Sara really did have some good friends.

“Now why don’t you come back to the party and stop sulking in the corner?”

“I am not sulking.”

“Definitely sulking.”

“Fine, but I make no promises about my mood.”

“That’s the spirit!” Alex put her arm around Sara and dragged her back to the party.

Sara figured she could have a couple of drinks and have some fun with her friends. She had to push her thoughts to the back of her head and put on a fake smile for her friend's benefit, but the distraction was nice.

At least for a little bit, the games and her friends’ distraction worked but after she had downed a couple of drinks and was feeling looser, all of her self-doubts came rushing back and she was back to overthinking things in the corner. Damn alcohol and its ability to amplify feelings.

Ava had been watching Sara over the past two days, especially today, and could tell that she was in her own head. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Sara was still down on herself for the championship, and Ava was getting a little tired of Sara’s attitude about it. The whole group could tell she was off and this was supposed to be their break from the bullshit they dealt with on campus.

The buzz of her phone from her back pocket pulled her eyes away from Sara.

It was Casey, asking if she had time for a call today because she had done poorly on some exam and needed cheering up. Ava was about to pick up the phone and call her, she could pretend to be sober enough to get through a quick phone call with the girl she was seeing. She did promise the girl that she would call her yesterday and forgotten with all the hot tub nonsense going on, so she owed her.

But then Sara was putting her drink down and trying to slip out of the room unnoticed and any thought of Casey slipped to the back of her mind. She could wait until later.

Ava grabbed Sara’s hand and dragged her to the kitchen table. “Okay, ya know what, I’m tired of this pity party you seem to be throwing for yourself.”

“Ava—” Amaya tried.

“Nope, I’m gonna put an end to this. I know you’re sad, but you have to snap out of it.” She walked to the cabinet and grabbed two shot glasses and a bottle of whiskey from the freezer. “Me and you, Lance, shot for shot. If you win, then you can continue on with your pity party you’re determined to throw for yourself, but if I win then you have to stop.”

Sara was just drunk enough to go along with the challenge from Ava. “You really think you can keep up with me?”

“Oh I know I can.”

With smirks in place and the competitive side of the girls out in full force, there was nothing that anyone could say to stop them. Which, after two back to back shots, seemed very clear.

“So we all agree that this is a terrible plan, right?” Zari whispered to the rest of the group as they looked on as Ava poured another shot.

“Without a doubt, but it might not be a bad thing to let it play out,” Alex whispered back.

Nora turned towards Sara and Ava and put a hand over each of their shot glasses. “If you two are determined to be idiots, can you at least slow down a little bit? I’d prefer to not have to take either of you to the hospital tonight.”

“Fine, then beer pong. One v one.”

“Fine by me, I am the beer pong queen.”

“We’ll see about that,” Ava said confidently, despite completely missing her first shot.

Nora rolled her eyes but agreed that beer was better than whiskey and at least they would have to drink it slower with a game involved. She would take the small win.

Zari rolled her eyes at both of them and ushered the group outside to the deck. They would come back in a bit to undoubtedly clean up their mess and put them to bed. They had already agreed that no matter who won their stupid contest, they were going to tell them that Ava had won so that Sara would stick by her word to stop sulking.

But it turned out that neither of them was really good at any game after a full day of drinking and the two shots in their system, but neither of them seemed willing to give up. Halfway through their second game of beer pong, neither girl was doing a very good job of standing up on their own, and Nora and Amaya had decided to step in and stop their game.

They didn’t really put up much of a fight and being put in bed with the two shots they had taken definitely having kicked in by then, and after Amaya forced them to drink a bottle of water each, they were out like a light.

___________________________________________________

Sara slowly opened her eyes, groaning before the light even hit them. She could tell from the horrible taste in her mouth and immediate onset of dizziness that last night had gotten away from her. Not that she could really remember much after Ava’s little shot battle.

_Fuck, why did I agree to that?_

She closed her eyes again to try and shake off the nausea that was quickly rising to the surface. Once it had settled though, she felt a hand on her stomach and snapped her eyes right back open.

It was Ava’s hand, wrapped tightly around her midsection and just faintly skimming the edge of her shirt.

Sara wanted to bolt upright and push Ava away from her, but she knew waking the other girl up right now would only make things worse. Plus, a large part of her was enjoying the close contact and the look of peace on Ava’s face. She didn’t often get to see the other girl with her guard down like this.

She took in Ava’s messy hair and the slight cracking of her lips from the hangover dehydration and the dryness of the mountain air. Her face looked calm and soft like she didn’t have a care in the world. If Sara didn’t know any better, she would think that Ava actually felt comfortable laying as they were right now.

But Sara did know better, and she knew that Ava was probably just as drunk as she was last night and they had probably just passed out not even thinking about the closeness or the sleeping arrangements.

It hurt Sara more than she wanted to realize that she _wanted_ this type of morning with Ava, but Ava didn’t want it back.

Sara needed advice. How was she supposed to go on pretending like this was just a friendship when everything Ava did hit her so deeply? So she gently pulls the covers off her body and slips out of bed, pausing to make sure she didn’t wake Ava up. She tiptoed out of the room down to where Charlie is sleeping and knocks on the door. Amaya definitely gave the better advice of the two, but Sara had already confided in Amaya once and there’s something to be said for a bit of tough love.

She finds Zari too, which she should have expected. The two are curled up on Charlie’s bed watching something on Netflix.

“Oh please, like you could do any better.” Zari is teasing Charlie.

“Wouldn’t you like to know love.” Charlie winks at Z who blushes furiously.

Sara feels bad interrupting, but she’s got no idea what to do. “Bad time guys?”

Zari seems to take pity on Sara after hearing the tone in her voice. “Not for you. What’s up?”

Now Sara was nervous again. She knew her friends would understand but what if they thought her maybe liking Ava was awful? Sara didn’t know if she could handle that but she couldn’t handle this on her own anymore either. “How bad on a scale of one to Nyssa would it be if I maybelikedava?”

“Come again, love?”

Zari grinned, “So you’re finally ready to talk about it?”

Charlie turned quickly to her girlfriend. “You knew?”

“Oh come on, it’s so obvious—”

Sara cuts her off before they could get into it. She did not have time for this today and it seemed like the longer she sat here and thought about it the more her feelings started to spiral out of control.

“It’s really cute that you guys want to bicker about this right now but I just snuck out of the room that I’m currently sharing with Ava and I just got smacked in the face with eight months of feelings about someone that I’m supposed to be friends with but can’t seem to stop thinking about. I think, Z, I think I’m in love with her.”

Zari and Charlie just stare back at her. Zari knew there was something going on between them, but she didn’t expect Sara to drop all of that on her.

Sara is fiddling with her fingers, eyebrows furrowed, and a look of confusion and hurt that Zari wasn’t used to seeing on her friend’s face.

“I’m scared Z. What if this all blows up in my face again?” She looked up, the water in her eyes making it obvious that she was barely holding on at the moment.

Zari shifts away from Charlie. “Sara, do you know the moment I knew you were going to be a good rugby player?”

Confused, Sara looks up. “No? But Z—”

“Hear me out. It was in 10th grade. It was the start of our second season on the team and we were still so new to the sport and so much smaller than some of the other girls. I was freaking out a little bit about practice and actually getting a chance to play more, but you were so calm. You just looked at me and said ‘What’s the worst that can happen Z?’ And it was so annoying because you were right.” Sara wasn’t smiling, but she looked calmer than she did a couple of minutes ago. “The same thing applies here Sara.”

Sara shook her head. She didn’t think it was her place to tell anyone else about Casey because Ava had obviously been keeping that to herself for a reason, but it was so much more complicated than Zari understood.

“I get what you’re saying, but she’s become one of my best friends and there’s so much that could go wrong here.”

Zari knew she wasn’t going to win this battle today when they were stuck together in a house with their friends and Sara was so clearly in the middle of panicking. “How about this. We all go downstairs to the kitchen, cook breakfast for all our friends that are definitely hungover, and take the day from there. Okay?”

Sara didn’t look sold. “She’s just Ava, Sara. Act like yourself and either Charlie or I can be a buffer for you if necessary.”

At that last part, Sara perked up a little. “You guys would do that?”

“Of course dude.”

Charlie wasn’t sure how she got dragged into all of this, but Zari gave her a look that let her know she had no choice. “Always here to help, mate.”

___________________________________________________

Ava had woken up to an empty bed and a pounding headache. She picked up her phone on the nightstand next to her feeling thankful that someone – definitely not her – had had the sense to plug in her phone to charge last night. She cringed as soon as she the screen lit up, and not just because of the hangover.

_3 Missed Calls & 9 Texts from Casey _

Well, that probably wasn’t good. Ignoring Casey yesterday was definitely a choice, one that felt right in the moment. Sara had needed her and Casey knew she was up in the mountains so she didn’t think it would be a big deal.

But now, with a more sober mind, she realized that she didn’t just ignore Casey, she had chosen Sara over Casey in a moment that they both needed her.

It would be easy to blame the alcohol and the fact that she was just trying to help her friend, but something in her gut was telling her that it was more than that.

Casey had been great to Ava and Ava hadn’t had something outside of rugby in so long that she was determined to hold it close and never let it go. It was uncomplicated and Casey was fun, and interesting, and so smart. She had been keeping Ava on her toes since the second she sat next to her in class and it had been nice. But no matter how hard Ava tried it just felt like something was holding her back.

All the things Ava liked about Casey – her wit, the athleticism, her ability to make any situation feel fun, and the focus she had about the things she cared about – had felt familiar to Ava. At first, she thought it was just a feeling of understanding or that it was that magic “clicking” that people talking so much about, but as time went on Ava knew that they were qualities she had admired in another person. In Sara.

And Ava had tried to ignore it. She had tried really freaking hard to ignore it actually because Casey was just what Ava needed and she was into Ava and had done a lot to cheer her up the past two weeks, so whatever comparison her brain was making between Casey and Sara, Ava was convinced it was just a stupid coincidence.

It didn’t matter that everything Casey had done so far Ava had compared with something Sara had done for her, or that even when Casey was being her most vulnerable with her at the bookstore, Ava couldn’t help but think of the moments she had with Sara in the library.

But then Ava had stayed in the hot tub and argued with her friends over why she would rather marry Nora and fuck Sara instead of calling Casey when she was supposed to. And then last night she chose to cheer up Sara and get absolutely wasted instead of calling Casey when the other girl needed her. And if that didn’t tell Ava everything she needed to know then she didn’t know what would.

Fuck, she was way too hungover for this.

She rolled out of bed and picked up her phone to call Casey back.

“Hey you, I was wondering if you were still surviving up there.”

Damn, she didn’t sound mad at all. Somehow that made Ava feel even worse.

“Hey, yeah still alive, just regretting a lot of my drinking decisions.”

“Sounds like it’s been a fun weekend then.”

“It has yeah, listen, Case, about last night —”

“You don’t have to explain Ava. I get it.”

She still didn’t sound upset, but Ava could hear a hint of something deeper in her voice now.

“I didn’t mean to just ignore you though.”

Casey paused. Ava could tell she was debating whether she should just say what she was thinking or let it go and talk about something else. Ava didn’t think she liked either option very much right now.

She heard the other girl let out a big sigh. “It was Sara wasn’t it?”

Ava was silent. No matter what she said right now it wasn’t going to make a difference. It was always Sara at this point, wasn’t it?

Casey sighed again.

“Ava, I like you, a lot. I haven’t been very subtle about that, but I can tell when someone’s heart belongs somewhere else and I don’t want to keep fighting it.”

“Casey.” Ava tried.

“No, it’s okay really. I’m a little bummed, okay maybe a lot bummed, but I get it. I’ve seen the two of you together a couple of times now, and I was hoping I could use all my charm and wit to make you fall for me instead, but there’s something about you two that just works. And, if it’s cool with you, I still think we could be really good friends.”

Ava wanted to tell her that she was wrong, that she and Sara weren’t anything, and that she wanted to keep trying with Casey, but Ava knew that wouldn’t be fair to anyone.

“I hope you know how great you are Casey.”

“Oh, I do. Don’t worry about that.”

Ava laughed. “Friends then?”

“Absolutely. Text me when you get back to campus on Sunday and we can go over that lab for Monday together. I’m getting my ass kicked by it.”

“I can do that. Bye Case.”

“Bye Aves.”

Ava flopped back down on the bed. She felt lighter like somehow this one conversation with Casey had put everything into perspective for her. She was glad to have someone like her in her life, even if she couldn’t make it work with her in a dating sense.

But now that the _thing_ was out there and she had finally admitted to someone – well not really admitted but gotten as close as she could right now – that she had feelings for Sara, where was she supposed to go from here?

“Ava! Food!” Charlie had called down the hall into the bedroom where her door was still closed.

Guess that was going to be a problem for later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re almost there y’all!!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this chapter took forever!! Not gonna lie to you all, I’m having a lot of stress about the bar exam results as we get closer to the release date and also my lack of job so I have v little motivation to write which is making it hard to finish this story up BUT I swear I will not abandon it. I might however shorten it a couple of chapters so we might be looking at 24 chapters instead of 27. 
> 
> In any event, I hope this chapter makes up for it!! Enjoy!

While the weekend off-campus had given the Sirens a chance to regroup and finally have some fun after the disaster that was Nationals, they eventually had to return and dive back into the rest of the semester. With only a few weeks to go until finals, things were definitely getting a little hectic. Both inside the classroom and inside Ava’s mind.

Ava was due any minute to meet Sara in the library for their weekly tutoring session. It turned out that Sara really benefitted from just a little extra time outside her class in all her classes, and Ava, although not a master at statistics by any means, was more than willing to help her out if that was what she needed.

Honestly, how Ava didn’t realize she had a big ol’ crush on Sara sooner is beyond her.

But now that things were out in the open – or at least Ava had admitted it to herself – she was more than a little nervous to see Sara again. Just the two of them. Crammed in a small corner of the library. For a full hour.

Usually, their tutoring sessions were a nice break from rugby or the outside world – Sara had this ability to make their corner of the library feel like nothing else mattered. As cheesy as that was, it was a safe haven for both of them.

But this week, reeling from the aftermath of the emotional tidal wave that hit her at the cabin, Ava was feeling a little different about spending an hour alone with Sara. Right from Sara’s arrival, things were weird.

“Hey,” Sara says softly.

“Hey you – uh, yeah, let's get to tutoring.”

Ava was trying hard, really hard, not to be weird or make Sara feel uncomfortable, but it seemed like Sara was already off right from the jump if her twitchiness and constant bouncing leg was anything to go by.

Rationally, Ava knew that the twitchiness could be from a whole number of things. Sara was not a person that did well when she had to sit still for a long time. And with finals coming up, she could just be nervous about that. But because Ava was the queen of overthinking everything, the second that Sara was a little weird, she had convinced herself that somehow Sara found out about her feelings despite Ava never having told anyone or even said it out loud. Was it her voice? Was her face giving her away? Was she sitting too close? She scooted back in her chair to put more space between them and looked down at the book just in case.

“What’s up with you today? You seem more neurotic than normal. I can practically hear your brain working overtime.”

She didn’t know if it was the light tone or the hint of a smile that broke on Sara’s face as she said it, but Ava physically felt the mood shift. Leave it to Sara to break the tension with a joke. “Me? Neurotic? I think you must have me confused with someone else.”

“Ava Sharpe right? Pain in my ass but also the savior of my life? Great hair, killer bod, sometimes plays rugby.”

Ava brushed some hair behind her hear and looked back down at the book in front of her hoping to cover up the bright red blush that was probably covering half her body and definitely giving away how easily affected she was by Sara's words. If there was any doubt in Ava’s mind that she had fallen hard for the other girl, it was certainly gone now.

"How does that mouth of yours not get you in more trouble?"

Sara wiggled her eyebrows. "Doesn't get me in enough trouble if you ask me."

Ava slapped Sara's arm. "Enough, you. We have work to do."

Whatever weird vibe the tutoring session started with was gone now as they fell into their usual ease. It definitely wasn't the first time that Sara had broken out the charm, but Ava had to try a little harder than normal to let it roll off and tease her back rather than get flustered.

Luckily, their tutoring session wasn't too difficult today so Ava could stand to be a little distracted. Sara understood most of the material now and Ava was really just here to give her the confidence boost she needed to finish out the semester strong and remind her to study. She thought they were going to leave the library relatively unscathed despite the rocky start, but then, in the haste of packing up their stuff and leaving, Ava’s hand ended up on top of Sara’s and it was like a switch just flipped in Sara.

Sara Lance did not blush, it was something she took a lot of pride in and made sure to rub in everyone else’s face as much as she could. But Ava was almost sure she saw a little bit of red creep up the back of her neck. But she couldn’t get a good enough look before Sara yanked herself away and basically stumbled as far away from Ava as she could. The smooth-talking bad-ass Sara was replaced with a flustered mess of herself.

“I just um – have class – or um not class but this thing for class and um yeah I have to go, bye!”

Sara does not storm out of the tutoring session because she has class, and everyone knows it. Ava just stares at Sara’s retreating form dumbfoundedly. That thirty-second interaction was going to consume the next, roughly, thirty years of Ava’s thoughts.

And if Sara totally skips the gym later that day to storm into Zari’s room and freak out about her feelings rather than risk another interaction with Ava then, well, that was something else entirely. Totally unrelated to the library moment.

Zari is sitting on her bed, scrolling through her phone with Netflix playing in the background, totally minding her own business, and trying to get at least some work done when Sara stomps in and drops her backpack.

Zari is set on ignoring her and waiting for her to speak up first, but she notices the girl is literally pacing back and forth across her room and decides that Sara is going to wear a hole in the floor before actually saying anything out loud.

“What’s up, cap?”

“I can’t do this Z. Having feelings for Ava. I’m freaking out again.”

This again, Zari thought. Zari grabbed Sara’s arm, forcing her to stop pacing and look up at her. “Talk to me. Use your words.” Sara huffed, throwing her arms out and plopping down onto the bed.

“I just, ugh Z. I’m running out of reasons we shouldn’t, why I shouldn’t have feelings for her. And we have this whole team rule that I put in place so we don’t have to deal with the fall out like we did last year but now Ava is here and I’m ready. I feel like I’m ready to commit to something, to someone. And she gets me, whether I’m upset or happy or scared shitless. And she’s met my family and she didn’t run screaming. She’s this perfect human and what if I’m not enough? What if I screw it up and then we’re back to last year again? Or worse, what if the whole team hates me for it?”

Zari debated for a moment whether Sara needed some tough love or comfort right now, but comfort had never really been Zari's style and as a best friend, she could tell that what Sara _really_ needed right now was a real kick in the ass. 

“Sara and I mean this as respectfully and lovingly and possible - nobody on the team is going to give a flying fuck if you start dating Ava. We’ve all been taking bets on when this tension is going to break for months and I swear if you don’t get over yourself and go kiss that woman then I’m going to slap you upside the head. You are more than enough Sara Lance. Now act like it.”

“Okay all that is nice, and like glad to hear the team supports it even if you have all been betting behind my back ... but what if she doesn’t even like me? She just put her hand on mine today – a simple touch, nothing crazy – and I panicked Z. Stumbled over my words, basically tripped out of the library, and now I’m skipping a gym session just so I don’t have to be around her again.”

“Sara, there is not one single doubt in my mind that Ava is crazy for you.”

“Z—”

“Nope, no arguing on this one. She likes you, you like her, nobody cares if you guys date. Well, we care because we want you to be happy and all, but you know what I mean.”

Sara sighed. As much as she wanted to take Zari’s word to heart, it was hard to get her hopes up. But that was something she had to deal with on her.

“Thanks, Z.”

“Anytime cap.”

Sara looked around Zari’s room for the first time since storming in here and noticed that Zari’s bed was covered in textbooks and papers. “Sorry to interrupt your studying, I will let you get back to it. See ya later?”

Zari nodded, slight relief in her face that she could get back to whatever it was she was working on before, and Sara grabbed her bag to leave.

Looking down at her watch, she realized that she was going to be late for her office hours if she didn’t hustle. She wasn’t sure whether or not she was going to take the risk with Ava yet, but right now she had to worry about the statistics grade she was due to get back.

Ava had tutored Sara for almost three hours before the exam, and Sara felt like she absolutely crushed it when she got to the exam, but actually getting it back was a whole different story. If she failed then that put a lot of pressure on her for the final, but if she did well then she still had to study hard and make sure to nail the final as well. Either way, she was worried that Ava was going to be disappointed in her score.

Not that Ava was really ever disappointed in Sara. Actually, she did a really good job of making sure that Sara _never_ felt like Ava was frustrated with her during their tutoring sessions. But Ava had put so much time into making sure that Sara passed her classes that Sara really wanted to do well not only for herself but for Ava too.

In other words – there was a lot of pressure riding on this one little grade and it was adding to Sara’s already stressful day. The office hours were never really packed. Her professor held them almost every day, which was unusual but also a godsend for the students like Sara that felt like the extra help was necessary. Today, however, there was a large crowd outside the door just waiting for the door to open and the long sheet of student ID numbers and grades to be posted.

Sara felt a little like she was 14 again waiting for the rugby roster to be posted outside the locker room for the first time, but at least this time it was anonymous. Sara jumped up from her seat on the floor when she saw the beginnings of the door opening. Her professor popped his head out just far enough to post the list and then promptly moved back into his office with the door closed. He had a hard 24-hour rule before he would talk about exams.

People immediately crowded around the small one-page sheet on the door, trying to find their student number. Sara heard some groans and small cheers from the people that already found their grade as she got closer to the wall. She scans the list, doing her best to find her number among the swarm of people. 87324567..68..69…70! Holy crap.

She got an A!

She backed up from the wall, not even bothering to hide her wide grin and little fist pump she does to celebrate. For the first time in Sara couldn’t even remember how long, she had absolutely aced a test.

Without a doubt thanks to Ava.

Her first instinct was to pick up her phone and call Ava. She wanted to celebrate this win and there was no one else she’d rather celebrate with. But that thought in itself makes her hesitate. When did Ava become the _only_ person she wanted to tell when exciting things happened? The first thought that passed through Sara's mind was what Ava's face would look like when she told her the news. If she couldn’t handle Ava hand _grazing_ hers, how was she supposed to be around Ava being _proud_ of her? She had to calm down and get her thoughts straight – no pun intended – before she even thought about telling Ava her grade.

She showers in a hopeless attempt to get her mind off of Ava, which definitely somehow makes it worse because there is way too much silence and too much time to think in the shower.

All the confidence that Sara had earlier that day after her talk with Zari was gone and the excitement from her test results had faded, and instead, she was pacing in her room trying to think of what her next move should be. She didn’t want to ruin the friendship they took so long to build, but she was even more worried that if she didn’t do something about her not so little crush now, that it would ruin her friendship anyways. She already couldn’t be around the girl without panicking.

Sara stopped pacing. _You know what, fuck this. I am Sara fucking Lance and I can do this. I’m just gonna walk over there now and say I have a crush on you and I can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to kiss you._

Sara swung open the door to her room and jogged down the stairs, ignoring the weird glances she got from Charlie and Amaya who were seated at the kitchen table eating dinner. She walked quickly across her lawn and up to Ava’s door.

She knocked excitedly.

Ava opened the door with a big smile, and hair wet, clearly having just showered herself. She looked so comfortable, not bothered at all by the late knocking on her door or the clearly frazzled person in front of her.

“Sara, hey, I was just thinking about you.”

And, okay, Sara had this whole big thing planned, with a speech, and a heartfelt declaration about how much Ava means to her and how hard the past few months have been watching her date someone else. She wanted to tell Ava all the ways she made her life better since she walked up to her on the field way back in August. How she was so amazingly kind and thoughtful, and how it amazed Sara that she was able to open herself up to a new team and a new season after everything her old team had put her through. How no matter what was going on in her life, she always managed to take the time to calm Sara down about a game, or a test, or even her family.

There were a million different things Sara wanted to say to Ava, but here she was just staring at Sara with the most genuine smile, her head tilted a bit silently asking Sara if everything was okay, and she was just thinking about her. About her. And, really, how was Sara supposed to say anything even remotely eloquent after that?

Without letting another thought pass through her head, because Sara had done enough thinking, she stepped into Ava’s personal space, pausing for long enough that Ava could’ve pushed her away if this was crossing any lines, and pulled Ava in to kiss her with everything she had.

There was a second – maybe of shock, maybe of panic – where Ava wasn’t kissing her back and the feeling of dread started to pool in her stomach but Ava was kissing her back and Sara thought she was gonna explode with happiness. And once Ava leaned into it, it was like they two were saying everything they had ever felt with this one kiss.

Months of built-up tension and all the back and forth between them were pushed to the side and nothing matter besides the two of them in that moment, standing half inside Ava’s house with the door ajar behind her. Sara’s phone started to ring – because of course, it did – but it didn’t seem like either one had any intention of stopping what they were doing.

Ava pulled them inside the house, with Sara’s back now firmly planted against the front door. “Ignore it. You can call them back.” She said into Sara’s neck as she moved her mouth down it. Whatever Sara had the intention of responding with was lost the second Ava’s lips made contact with the spot on her neck just above her collarbone. The small moan she let out only encouraging Ava.

Unfortunately for them, whoever was calling was determined to get Sara on the phone because it rang for a second time. Sara reluctantly broke away, thinking off all the different ways she could kill whoever it was on the other end of the phone and said “One second let me just tell this person to fuck off.” Ava smiled as she watched Sara answer the call.

“Hello?” Ava couldn’t hear what the person on the other end was saying, but it sounded like a man’s voice and then Sara’s face went very serious. “Yes, this is Sara Lance….. Yes, sorry I missed your first call ….” More silence as Sara was clearly listening intently to whatever the deep, mumbled voice was saying to her. “I would love to, that would be an amazing opportunity….I’ll speak to my coach and get it situated with my university … okay… great, yes I can send you an email right now….Bye.”

Sara hung up but continued standing there with her phone in hand and a look of pure shock on her face. Ava closed the gap between them again, stepping in Sara’s personal space and putting a hand on her arm in a comforting way. “Sara? It didn’t sound like anything bad on your end, but wanna fill me in on what just happened?”

She shook herself out of the post-call stupor and looked at Ava. “Umm, that was the US National Team assistant coach inviting me to their upcoming camp. I’m – holy crap I can’t believe I’m about to say this but – I’m gonna get the chance to be an Eagle.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there you have it, folks. I know this chapter was short but I couldn’t hold off on you all any longer! After almost 100k of slow-burn, the tension finally broke and Sara’s dream is finally coming true. Just a couple more chapters left to tie everything up.


	22. Holy Crap, We've Made it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have like 100001 excuses and apologies for how late this is, but I will skip them all and just say that I'm so sorry for the wait and I hope you enjoy it!!!! I think the longer I had to put this off the more I was nervous that it wasn’t living up to the wait so I tried to make it better and it just turned into a giant circle of delay honestly. 
> 
> So the current USA “try-out” camp (genuinely not sure if this is what’s it’s called but that’s essentially what it is) is happening right now in Denver, CO. So having Sara close by definitely benefits the story but it is also, conveniently, consistent with real life. Although, that camp is 8 weeks long and people certainly get more than a week heads up.

After the phone call with the USA coach, things move fast for Sara. Like, really fast.

There were some logistics to work out with the school and finals, which kept her a lot busier than she would have liked, but before Sara knew it, she was packing her things and heading to camp for a five-day ‘try-out’ with the National Team. Luckily, the camp was in Denver so Sara was able to get there quickly and she didn’t have to interrupt her schedule as much as initially anticipated.

She pinched herself an embarrassingly high number of times throughout the week to make sure this wasn’t a dream. Getting an invite to camp and having the girl you’ve been pining after for months kiss you all at the same time was a lot to process in the best way possible.

On the other hand, getting a week heads up for the biggest camp of your life and still having to study for finals on top of the other prep meant that she and Ava left things on somewhat of a cliffhanger in that they haven’t had any time to see each other or talk since they were interrupted.

Which, frankly, neither party was dealing with well.

Sara was trying not to think too much about where things stood between them because she knew that if her head wasn’t completely in the game then she was going to blow her chance. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity and as terrible as it sounds, Ava would still be there in a week. Or at least that’s what Laurel told her a thousand times when Sara had called her in an absolute panic. For once, Sara chose to listen to her sister.

Nora on the other hand was having no such luck.

After practically begging Ava to tell her what the hell was up with her mood swings and pouting, she got the full rundown on the Sara situation including a pacing Ava practically shouting in the living room.

At first, Ava was understanding because hello this was team USA and it was hard to be mad that Sara was preoccupied. Sara had sent her one or two texts letting her know she was slammed with everything and they talked briefly about classes and other things but then there was radio silence. The quick conversation was nice and it let Ava know that things were still relatively normal between them, but it also left her wanting so much more from the other girl. Namely, what the hell that kiss meant.

But then, as the days passed, Ava got more and more inside her own head about things and the texts from Sara were few and far between. By the following Wednesday, Ava was on edge and snapping at Nora. She couldn’t focus on her classes, which was so unlike her, and it was driving her nuts.

“Ava, you’re panicking over nothing,” Nora told her, for probably the hundredth time.

“It’s not nothing Nor.”

Nora’s face softened. The exasperation was clear in Ava's voice and Nora didn't want to add any more stress to the girl's life. “I know it’s not nothing. I meant that you can’t really do anything about the situation for a couple of days, and I know that when you guys finally can talk, it’s gonna be fine.”

“What if it’s not?”

Ava’s face fell, the panic seemingly dropping from her body as she looked at Nora. For all Ava’s strength, it was these moments that reminded Nora how fragile Ava really was. 

“Well then, we’ll deal with it. I’m not going anywhere.”

Ava had more to say, more to panic about, but there was a knock at their front door that pulled her from her rantings.

Ava swung it open and quickly became confused at the person standing on the other side.

“Laurel? Sara is at camp, which I’m sure you know, and also she lives next door?”

“Duh, I’m here to see you. I thought you were supposed to be smart.” Laurel walked in easily, laughing at Ava’s greeting. “This place is cute, much nicer than that frat house that Sara lives in.”

“Umm, yeah it’s nice, we like it.” Ava, still openly confused by Laurel’s presence in her home, somehow managed to reply.

The better part of a minute hung between them while Laurel took in the house. As if it was the most normal thing in the world for Laurel to be visiting Ava, she turned back towards the door and said, “Come on, I’m taking you out to brunch.”

Ava followed along, but as soon as Ava found a way not to make it sound rude, she asked “Not that I’m not thrilled to see you again Laurel, but um, what are you doing here?”

Laurel mostly smiled. Ava felt pretty confident that Laurel liked her after spending the holidays and family weekend with her, and Ava was thrilled with that because she wanted Sara’s family to like for obvious reasons, but she’d be lying if she didn’t find the other woman terrifying as hell too. 

“Well I got a call from my baby sister before she left for camp that was mostly rambling and a little bit of panic, and from what I was able to gather, I think she’d appreciate it if she knew you had some company this week.” 

Ava let the subject drop for now as they got to the restaurant. She had a hundred different responses to that ranging from gratitude to suspicion, but Laurel had been nothing but nice to her so far and she didn’t want to seem unappreciative.

She figured that when they got to the restaurant Laurel would start grilling her about Sara or their relationship, maybe even give her the shovel talk.

But instead, Laurel just asked her how she was doing. She asked Ava about classes and how she felt about finals. Next year would be their senior year and Ava was starting to worry about the MCATs and medical school applications – if that was even the route she was going to go – so there was plenty to talk about. Laurel, having gone through her own admissions process for law school, was able to offer up some really good advice.

Ava returned the favor, asking about how Laurel’s job was going and how things at home were. She also asked about Quentin because as much as she wanted to respect Sara’s privacy about her family life, she couldn’t help but be concerned about him and their family.

But eventually, the conversation came right back around to Sara. It was Laurel that brought it up, but not in the way Ava expected.

“So, I’m sure you guessed that Sara told me something finally happened between you two. How are you feeling about it?”

Ava was a little hesitant. Even with how nice Laurel was being, and has been over the time she’s known her, she was fully aware that this was still Sara’s sister. So she honestly wasn’t sure how honest she was supposed to be.

Laurel, seemingly sensing her hesitation, laid a comforting hand on Ava’s across the table _._

“I told you, I’m here to see you Ava – I care about you too, not just Sara. I want to make sure neither of you messes this up. I know you probably have other friends you can lean on right now, but you can talk to me too. Or you can tell me to fuck off if you think it’s none of my business, which would be totally fair. I’m here for you either way.”

It was hard not to give into Laurel when she was looking at Ava with real concern and genuine care.

“I, uh, I’ll admit that I have definitely been panicking this week. Nora is probably beyond tired of hearing me rant about my confusion. But Sara left without us really resolving anything so we’re in this weird limbo and the longer we go without talking, the more I have spiraled into my own thoughts.” Ava paused, but then realized how she must sound to Laurel right now while her sister was off living her dream, so she backtracked a bit.

“Not that I don’t understand. I mean, Sara is getting this huge change and she should absolutely be focused on that. Honestly, I’m so proud of her and everything she’s achieved, I can’t wait to see where she goes. But also, yeah, panicking.”

Laurel, who was listening with almost total stoicism, smiled when Ava was done.

“I know you’re proud of her, Ava, you don’t have to reassure me of that. If I didn’t think you were supportive of Sara and all her potential on and off the field then I wouldn’t even be sitting here. If it makes you feel any better, Sara was pretty much in the same place you are until I told her to shove it far into the recesses of her mind and focus on rugby right now. Which, you can totally be upset with me for, but that girl needs someone to protect her from throwing her own dreams on a sword sometimes.”

“Yeah, yeah she certainly does. I’m glad you could get her there.”

It should make Ava at least a little upset to hear that Sara was actively shoving Ava to the back of her brain, but instead, it just reminded Ava why she started to fall for Sara so hard in the first place.

“See, that smitten smile that just snuck its way on to your face is exactly why I know everything is gonna work out just fine between you guys. You appreciate Sara for her crazy, self-sacrificing, savior complex but also appreciate when it’s not the time for that.”

Ava desperately wanted to cover up her smile and pretend that she didn’t care as much as her face was giving away – blame it on her deeply ingrained _need_ to protect herself – but she realized that it maybe wasn’t a bad thing to feel that way for once. Maybe Sara could be someone that she trusted with all her insecurities.

Laurel, sensing that her words calmed some of Ava’s nerves, paid the check and drove Ava back to campus. They said goodbye, knowing that it certainly wouldn’t be the last time they spoke, and Ava felt better than she had in weeks about the prospect of her future with Sara.

—————————————————————

It’s two days later when Ava finally gets a phone call from Sara. She’s on her way back from class when her phone rings. She had made peace with the fact that Sara wasn’t going to call her while she was at camp, and they would figure things out when she got back. So the last person she was expecting a call from was Sara Lance.

“Sara?”

“Damn, it’s good to hear your voice, Sharpe.”

Ava smiled. “It’s nice to hear from you too Sara. How’s camp been?”

“Oh you know, lots of fitness tests and skills training. I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t feel like a walking zombie.”

“You should get some rest then, what are you doing calling me?”

“Trying to get rid of me that quickly?”

Ava could sense a little bit of nervousness from Sara on the other end. Whether it was from the pressures of camp or some insecurities about things between them, Ava didn’t want Sara to be too in her head. 

“Never. Tell me everything.” 

So Sara filled her in. It was hard for her not to sound like she was name-dropping every rugby hero Ava had, but Sara was playing alongside these girls now. As if Ava wasn’t already beyond impressed by Sara, hearing her talk about three-a-day training schedules and what it felt like to get tackled by Olympians just multiplied everything by tenfold.

Through all the humble bragging and the excitement, Ava could still tell something was a little off with Sara.

“Everything sounds great Sar. I’m glad you’re still enjoying yourself even with all the pressure.”

“Yeah, um, I’m definitely doing my best. It’s hard not to think myself into a hole with everything this camp could mean for me. The girls here, they’re just so good. Like, this is a level of rugby I never even dreamed of playing.”

Ah, so it was rugby related. Ava could handle that.

“Sara, you deserve to be there and I have complete and total faith you are going to kill it and impress every person there. But even if you don’t, you have a campus full of people that love you and a whole more year of rugby to look forward to.”

There was silence on the other end. Ava knew that usually Sara just needed a reminder that she could do it and then she was back to being her annoyingly confident self. But for good measure, Ava said, “I’m proud of you, Sara.”

A moment hung between them, Ava knew that Sara heard her and would take what she said to heart, but the moment evolved into something else. Something more about the two of them than rugby. It felt like if one of them didn’t address the elephant in the room – or elephant over the phone – then they might never do it.

“Um, Ava, about last week—”

Ava held her breath. She knew they had to talk about _them_ , and she wanted to, but the second it was brought up she was anxious at what this meant for their future. If there was a future or if Sara was going to take everything back before it even went anywhere.

But the whispering in the background made it clear that someone had interrupted Sara and that probably meant it was time to hang up.

“Aves, sorry, I gotta go. Team meeting. We’ll talk when I get back?”

“Of course. See you soon.”

Ava was trying not to be upset because that wasn’t fair to Sara and honestly, there was nothing either of them could do about the situation. She was genuinely happy for the girl and she was doing her best not to taint that by getting upset over the little things. Plus, Sara did call her, and that had to count for something.

—————————————————————

The remainder of the week passes in a blur for both Ava and Sara. After they got a chance to talk – even with it being short – any worry that was building up, for either of them, was put to rest for the time being. At least that’s what Ava was going to keep telling herself until she could actually see Sara again. There was no sense in panicking about something that she couldn’t do anything about.

Sara was maybe a little less logical than Ava about it all but she had rugby to distract her and the second it was over she was right back to thinking about Ava. All she really wanted to do when she got back to campus was take an ice bath and lay in bed for a week, but somehow the idea of seeing Ava was enough to power through the soreness.

She had a woman to see about a kiss and that was the pressing matter at the moment. She walks over to Ava’s door as soon as possible and gently knocks.

She shouldn’t have been surprised at how fast Ava answered the door, but actually seeing her in person after a week of being antsy was doing something to her brain.

Ava was standing there, definitely shocked at Sara being behind her front door, and smiling broadly at Sara.

“Sara, when did you get back?”

“About an hour or so ago. All I did was eat and shower before coming over.”

“I’m honored. How are you feeling?”

“Honestly, my body is begging for 12 hours of sleep and like three bowls of pasta, but I wanted to see you more than I wanted either of those things, so here I am.”

Ava’s whole face lit up at Sara’s words, her cheeks blushing with more than just flattery.

“Sara­—”

“Ava—”

Neither of them got a chance to finish before Nora burst through the doors with an open textbook in hand and nothing but pure panic in her voice.

“Ava! How are you at organic chemistry? Because if someone doesn’t help me I’m going to have to turn in a blank exam tomorrow and then my dad will probably murder me.”

Ava groaned, but she couldn’t ignore Nora’s begging, especially after how amazing Nora had been for her the past week.

“I’m gonna have to go help her.”

Sara understood, despite her visible disappointment.

“I should get going anyways, as unbelievably thrilled as I am to see your face, I also think I might fall asleep standing up soon. Call me tomorrow when you have a break from studying?”

Ava nodded, walking Sara out and heading into the kitchen to try and help Nora piece together organic chemistry. It was gonna be a long night.

—————————————————————

They try again Monday afternoon. There’s a secluded part of campus behind the science building that people rarely hang out in and Ava tells Sara to meet her there right before her lunch break.

“Hey you, how’s studying going?”

“You know, only one final left to go so I’m tired and my brain feels like it’s melting from my skull, but I’ll survive.”

Sara smiled, because she was constantly reminded of how much she enjoyed being around Ava, but also because she was learning that she thought Ava was adorable even when she was the stressed out, unshowered version of herself.

“I’ve never been more grateful that the school let me take my finals early. I don’t know how I would have survived coming back from camp to exams.”

“Oh yeah, shouldn’t you be like done with classes and back home relaxing right now?”

“Nah, the week after finals is the best time of the year, everyone knows that.”

“I’ll admit I’m looking forward to it after all the hype you guys have given it.”

“Trust me, it’s gonna be epic.” Now Sara was smirking like she knew something Ava didn’t. Which she probably did, especially about this, but Ava was much too tired to think any further into what she could possibly mean.

The smirk quickly dropped from Sara’s face, though, as she started to ask Ava about the topic they so were both eager to discuss.

“So about that kiss —"

This time, Sara is interrupted by the loud ringing of a fire alarm. As if the noise itself wasn’t a total distraction, students start pouring out of the building a minute later.

Ava thinks about screaming, but decide that screaming on top of a fire alarm is probably a bad idea.

“Come to my place a little before dinner. Charlie and Amaya should both be out.”

The implication of being alone with Sara in her bedroom isn’t lost on Ava, but she nods her head anyways and they try to make their way out of the swarm of students.

—————————————————————

Ava didn’t bother knocking this time or texting Sara before she invited herself into Chop House and up into Sara’s room. She was nervous that if she pushed her luck and tried to delay this conversation again, something else would get in the way.

“Sharpe, I see you’re making yourself at home here.”

“You told me to come over!”

“I’m just teasing, I’m happy to see you as usual.”

“Seems like now is a good time to talk?”

“Why whatever did you want to talk about?” Sara wiggled her eyebrows. Ava tried not to roll her eyes.

Before Ava could say anything, Charlie burst into Sara’s room behind Ava, moving past her as if she wasn’t even there.

“Mate, you have to help me.”

“Can this wait? Little busy at the moment.”

“‘Fraid not. I told Zari I had this amazing date planned and I wanted to, honestly, but then finals and now I’m panicking because we’re supposed to leave in an hour and I’ve got nothin’ so now you have to help me.”

Charlie plopped down on the bed, clearly having no plans of moving anytime soon.

Ava, knowing exactly where this was going because why wouldn’t they be interrupted for the hundredth time, moved towards the door for her exit.

“I, uh, actually have dinner plans tonight too. That just reminded me.”

Sara scrunched her eyebrows together, silently trying to dampen down any jealousy she had about Ava potentially having plans with other people when they were supposed to be having this stupid, potentially life-altering conversation.

Ava ignored Sara’s look, and just said “Text me the second you’re free later and I’ll come back, okay?”

With a nod from Sara, she left before she could get pulled into any date-making plans by Charlie.

Ava’s dinner plans are with Casey of all people. She doesn’t tell Sara why she’s leaving. She’s not trying to hide it but it feels like that would probably require a longer conversation, one that would definitely need to come after the first conversation they need to have. If they are ever able to get 5 minutes alone again, that is.

Dinner is fine. They talk about finals, some of their classes for next semester, and what they have planned for the summer. Ava is trying really hard to enjoy Casey’s company. Which is usually not a difficult task, the girl is endlessly entertaining — always running 100 miles per hour and ready to snap back with a witty retort — but Ava’s head is all over the place and she just can’t seem to focus. Which Casey easily picks up on.

“What’s up? Is it Sara again? I thought you guys figured things out before she left.”

Ava feels bad talking about this again with Casey, she’s trying not to rub any potential new relationship in her face so soon, even if Casey was very clear when they ended things that she knew about Ava’s feelings for Sara.

“Um, yeah we kind of did. But we’ve been trying to find time to really talk about things the past two days and we just keep being interrupted so I think we’re on the same page, but I’m not really sure yet and it driving me a little mad.”

“Go talk to her then Aves.” Ava hesitates, looking over Casey’s face to see how sincere she’s being. “Seriously, I won’t be offended. You’re shit company anyways right now.”

Ava can’t help but let out a laugh at that. She knows it’s true, but she’s grateful for Casey’s straightforwardness as always. She’s not sure where she’d be right now if it wasn’t for Casey’s nudges the past month.

“Okay, okay, you’re right. I’ll text you tomorrow and we can plan to get dinner when I’m not completely distracted.”

“Deal. Now go.” Casey waves her off and Ava does her best not to run to Sara’s door.

Ava knew Sara was free, she’d gotten a text from her not 20 minutes after she’d left her house. She knocks on the Chop House door, a little more aggressively than she had just a few hours ago. Her impatience is starting to show.

Sara opens it and Ava can see the half-eaten dinner plate sitting in front of the TV.

“Busy?”

“Not at all, everyone is still out and about.” Sara smiles and steps aside to let Ava in.

“So you’re alone?”

Sara turns back and sits on the couch where she was before Ava knocked. “For now, but I’m sure someone will find a way to walk in at just the wrong moment again.”

Ava wants to do this the right way. She’s been thinking about it for nearly two weeks now so she obviously has a plan for how she wants to do it. Some talking about their feelings, seeing where Sara’s head was about the kiss, and then they’d skip off into the sunset together.

Except they’ve tried that three times and the universe seems to be against that plan. Ava decides to take a new approach instead.

“I like you.” Ava blurts out.

Sara seems a little stunned by the confession, which is probably more of a reflection on Ava’s delivery than what she actually said. She quickly continues rambling to fill Sara’s silence.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to just like yell that at you, but we’ve been trying to talk for what feels like years and I can’t hold it in any longer.” Ava sits down on the couch next to Sara.

“I like you, a lot. I don’t know when it started, but once I realized it, it felt like maybe I always kind of liked you. I don’t want this to just be a one-time thing or some weird flirtation that we have, but we’re too afraid to act on. I think you feel the same way, or at least I thought you did but then you left for a week, and now I’ve convinced myself it’s all in my head so I need you to say something. Please.”

Sara, having had plenty of time to gather her thoughts and take in how adorable it was when Ava rambled like this, just smiles back at Ava.

“Aves, of course I like you too. I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you for literal months that I like you.”

Now it’s Ava’s turn to be confused. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah,” Sara laughed, the tension between them gone now that everything was in the open. “I actually can’t believe you haven’t noticed. I think everyone on the team has said something about it at this point.”

They’re sitting inches apart on Sara’s couch and Ava is looking over Sara’s face trying to take in the moment. She can see how sincere Sara in being, and it’s really throwing off her intimate confession because all she wants to do is kiss Sara again.

“We need to talk about this, us, and how we’re going to make this work with the team, but right now I really just need to kiss you, if that’s okay?”

Sara nods enthusiastically, and Ava leans in to connect their lips.

They’ve always been better at non-verbal communication and this moment is no exception. The kiss is less messy than the first one, with more purpose behind their movements. It’s easy – like they’d been doing it for years – and all that connection does is make Ava want more of Sara.

They’re off the couch now, eagerly moving towards Sara’s room while bumping into walls and doors along the way. The passion that once manifested itself in screaming matches on the field had turned into something else entirely, something that neither of them had ever felt before. 

As they made their way up the stairs, Ava completely forgot that she had even come over here for anything but this.

—————————————————————

When Sara wakes up and rolls over in her bed the next morning, she’s surprised to find that Ava is still asleep next to her. She smiles because this was something she could see herself doing maybe forever and even though that thought should terrify her, she was mostly just excited to see how things would unfold between her and Ava.

The last year was a whirlwind of craziness for Sara and Ava was really the cherry on top of it all.

A year ago at this time, Sara was waking up feeling anxious, and usually alone, wondering where Nyssa was or what she was up to the night before. She woke up most mornings feeling terrible about herself and her relationships, and although they didn’t win the championship last year either, their future as a team looked a lot bleaker than it did this year.

It was crazy how much a year could change, and how much of that changed she owed to the woman sleeping next to her.

Even though a lot of the conflict between them was just their insecurities coming out to play, Sara really thought that this year was somehow going to end up worse than the last. She never could’ve predicted where she would be now.

Too lost in her own musings, Sara didn’t notice when Ava opened her eyes.

“Hey, you. What’s got you thinking so hard this early in the morning?” Still a little groggy, Ava did her best to smile up at Sara as she asked.

“Just appreciating the beautiful woman in bed next to me.”

“How are you always so charming? Do you have an off button?”

“It’s not charm when it’s just the truth.”

Sara brushed some hair out of Ava’s face smiling softly at her. The tender moment seemed to remind Ava that there were still some questions she had about their relationship.

“Speaking of, do we need to talk about what’s happening between us? I mean, I know last night was great and it seems like we’re on the same page here, but if you hadn’t noticed I’m a little bit of an overthinker and I don’t like leaving things unsaid.”

Sara had expected Ava to have more questions today, it would have been extremely un-Ava like for her to roll with the unknown, but it was just one of the many things about the other girl she had come to like.

She didn’t think a big speech was necessary – they had done plenty of _communicating_ their feelings last night. Sara knew that Ava wasn’t looking for her to spill her emotional guts out, she just wanted some reassurance that Sara wasn’t going anywhere.

“Aves, I would love nothing more than for you to be my girlfriend?”

Ava was surprised by the question, but the softness in Sara’s voice and the slight uncertainty in her tone let Ava know that, for all Sara’s bravado, she was still a little nervous to ask and that made Ava want to say yes even more. Even if it maybe felt like a little too soon. And really, they had been dancing around this moment for months whether Ava was aware or not.

She leaned in and kissed Sara, whispering yes against her lips. She could feel Sara smiling back as they got lost in each other.

Sara pulled back after a while smirking. “You know Charlie is gonna have like a million U-Haul jokes about this, right?”

Ava hit Sara with a pillow, laughing at the other girl’s ability to turn a gentle moment into a joke, and fell happily into her arms. She could definitely get used to mornings like this.

—————————————————————

When they finally get around to going on their first date, it goes terribly. Sara is feeling so much pressure because all she wants to do is make sure that things between them go right and, in typical Sara fashion, her nerves lead her to resort to her old coping mechanisms and suddenly she’s flirting with the waitress. Which naturally also leads Ava to resort to her own coping mechanisms and she picks a fight with Sara before storming out of the restaurant.

“This was a mistake, I don’t know why I thought we could make this work.” Ava stands from the table, throwing down $30 for her half of the meal.

Sara, a little stunned but not willing to let the night end like that, throws down some money of her own and follows her out into the parking lot.

“Ava stop!”

Ava turns sharply around to face her. “What Sara?”

Sara realizes that Ava is still in fight mode, and expecting Sara to snap at her more like they did so frequently once upon a time. Sara just sighed. This was probably worse than anything she was worried about because she acted like an ass and backed Ava into a corner, so of course she was going to react like this.

“Can we just take a step back? Please?” The tension releases from Ava’s shoulders and with it goes the tension between the two.

“This obviously didn’t go as planned. At least not how I planned it in my head. I wanted everything to be perfect and I’ve been so worried about screwing this up that that’s exactly what I did. I’m sorry.”

Through all their months of friendship and their back and forth, Ava still didn’t expect Sara to apologize. “No, I’m sorry. I know that I get defensive when I start to panic or I don’t feel like I’m in control. You make me nervous Sara and I like you, like a lot. I just wanted things to work out.”

Sara smiles, stepping closer to Ava. “See, we can do this. I’m gonna screw up and say stupid things and you’re going to get defensive and go into your corner. We just need to make sure we talk about it.”

Ava smiled back. “I think I can handle that.”

“Good.” Sara closed the gap further. “And then we get to do this when it’s all over.” Sara kissed her and Ava couldn’t help but forget why they were even fighting in the first place.

When they broke apart Ava was still smiling. “Come on, let’s get out of here and go get milkshakes.”

“Now you’re speaking my language, Sharpe.”

Things get easier between them after that, when they both drop the nerves and the expectations and just settle into being with each other.

Sara has plenty of moments where she’s nervous that she’s leading the team right back into the same pattern of destruction like she did with Nyssa, and Ava’s insecurities from her old teammates surface occasionally too. But they’re both there for each other – listening, comforting, growing together – and it works.

Their friends adjust quickly too, unsurprisingly.

Sara was a little nervous that they would tell her she was making a mistake, or that this was bad for the team dynamics. If the roles were reversed, Sara was sure that’s how she would be feeling at least. It wasn’t until she walked in one afternoon on everyone hanging out like absolutely nothing had changed that she realized that her friends really were okay with this.

Sara walked in the door expecting to be greeted by her roommates and be able to quietly slip out of the room and take a nap after the day she had. But instead, she was greeted by a ton of people in her house.

Charlie yells from the living room when she hears the front door shut, “Sara! Come in here!”

“Hello, people that do not live here.”

Nate waves from the couch, with Amaya tucked into his arm. Zari and Charlie are sharing the recliner. Alex and Kara are bickering about something, sitting next to each other on the floor. Mick is drinking beer in the kitchen.

And Ava and Nora are sitting on the small couch, talking casually like the only normal humans in the room. 

Sara plopped down on the couch with Ava and Nora, bumping shoulders with Ava playfully. They weren’t quite at the point in their relationship where they were kissing hello, especially not around her annoying ass friends, but Sara still wanted as much contact as possible.

“What’s with the small collection of humans?” Sara says to the room.

“It’s game night mate,” Charlie says smiling.

“Since when are we doing game night?”

“It was Nate’s idea, thought it would be a good end of the year wind down to do pizza and games before we all went our separate ways for the summer.”

“Aww, ya big softies.”

And that was that.

Sara was expecting to have a sad goodbye and a summer filled with Facetime dates, but she was surprised to learn that Ava would actually be on campus for the summer. Ava had secured a researching position with a professor in the biology department and she’d be sticking around working part-time and studying for her MCATs.

Sara returned home to live with her sister and dad – her sister got her a coaching position with a youth league that a partner at her firm ran – and as much as she wasn’t looking forward to being back home, it was nice to have the out of coming back to campus to see Ava if and when she needed it.

In some ways having Ava so close meant that they saw less of each other than they would if she was across the country. But with both of their schedules keeping them busy, the summer went by quicker than expected and before they knew it, everyone was back on campus and gearing up for their final year of school.

Sara laid in the middle of the fields soaking up the sun after a long workout. Taking in the peace and quiet of the fields on the last night of summer before pre-season began had become a tradition for her and she wasn’t going to let that change before the start of her senior year.

This year though, she couldn’t help but compare her time spent on the field to last summer.

Last summer she had come back to campus needing a place to escape to and spent most of the week before pre-season started thinking about the pressure that came with being captain and how lost she felt in the classroom and in what direction her life was going. 

She was still unsure of a lot of things, but laying here – between Ava and Zari – thinking about her senior year, she felt none of the stress that she once did. The last year had taught her so many things, but mainly, she now knew that no matter what, her people would be by her side and the once terrifying concept of the future didn’t seem so scary anymore. Sara had her chance with the national team – and another camp in a couple of weeks to look forward to – and she had a confident back-up plan in a major that she had grown to love.

Laying in the field of grass bathing in the Colorado sunlight with Ava by her side, anything felt possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was originally planning on doing a couple more chapters in this story, but I kind of feel like I’m forcing myself to drag things out at this point & to be totally honest I’m just not in a great place personally to be writing right now so we have come to the end of our story. I don’t love ending it with this chapter because it took me like 2 months to write and I wanted to be absolutely in love with my last chapter but I’m afraid that I’ll drag it out so far that I’ll lose all interest in writing it and then I’ll just leave you all on a cliffhanger forever which I also definitely don’t want to do. 
> 
> So TL;DR, I have shoved 4 chapters worth of outline and a baby epilogue into this one epic finale and I hope you all loved it (and if you didn't pls just pretend you did and let me live in ignorant bliss).
> 
> This has been my brainchild for so long and I’m glad you guys enjoyed it! In a weird way, this story definitely helped me through the bar exam because it gave me something to enjoy that wasn’t just studying (I passed by the way!!) and every single one of the comments and kudos has brought me so much joy. So truly, thank you all so much for reading!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Fun Fact – When we were in college my girlfriend was singing a rugby song and straight up stomped through a table in the men’s rugby house. It was hot & absolutely got the crowd riled up. If anyone was wondering where the inspiration for that line came from.
> 
> Also let me now if the rugby jargon is too much at any point – obviously rugby is not the main point of the story so I don’t want things to get lost, but it will play a pretty big role.
> 
> Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter, it’s only the beginning. I’d love to hear some feedback in the comments!


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